Wannabe2012
Virgin
- Joined
- May 8, 2012
- Posts
- 19
I'm really new to being submissive and trying really hard. I had a meltdown last night and disappointed my Dom so much, he won't speak to me at all. Any advice for turning it back around?
Dom mad...how to get him back?
- Thread starter Wannabe2012
- Start date
What did your meltdown consist of love? Screaming, ranting, arguing, telling him to fuck off, crying?
Sounds like whatever emotion it was, it was stronger than disappointment (that your Dom felt). So if he's sulking that's a little immature, unless you totally acted like a bitch obv
Sounds like whatever emotion it was, it was stronger than disappointment (that your Dom felt). So if he's sulking that's a little immature, unless you totally acted like a bitch obv
MasterMiyagi
Virgin
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- May 9, 2012
- Posts
- 13
Wannabe SUB, just sent you a PM..........read and get back to me via PM.........OBEY
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
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- Apr 7, 2004
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- 8,493
Stop trolling the forums like a child, and go beg for cyber sex in your own [singular] thread in the proper [BDSM Personals] forum
Omg, hahaha
Listen 'mate'. If your sub is upset then don't ignore her. That isn't being a Dom it's just being a dick.
HTH
Edie
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
Online relationship, or offline? Maybe he just needs a bit of time to calm down and reassess things. Why did you have a meltdown? Falling apart over always being the one to do the dishes is one thing; falling apart because he's cybering with other girls is another. (Totally random examples.)
On the other hand, if silence/isolation isn't an acceptable reaction for you, then you need to explain that when y'all talk next, or (if things are really over) make sure you discuss it in your next relationship.
His_pet_slut
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2011
- Posts
- 405
And here I thought I was all sorts of special getting one of the commanding, immediate orgasm-inducing OBEY PM's.
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
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- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
Dump the dude and take some time to figure out what you REALLY want.
You might not be submissive at all, and this training he's putting you through might be a total waste of your time and efforts.
Also, he might be a really shitty dom. Lots of them are-- the refusal to talk to you today might be his crappy skills biting him in the ass.
That's pretty much exactly what I said in reply to a few PMs. Being a sub ain't about putting up with a man's every whim despite feeling upset. If he's telling you that he's full of shit, and if your believing him you're vulnerable. Tell him to fuckin do one. Try another there seem plenty around
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
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- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
either way, she needs to own her own shit.
If it's really her fault, she needs to figure what her own problem is, and take responsibility for it.
if it's really his fault, she needs to understand that she is not responsible for other people's problems.
I agree with Stella and others, you are going to need to figure out on your own what you need. To be honest, from what you posted, it is next to impossible to give any advice since we don't know the story. There is a difference between a dom who gets all pissy because a sub safe worded out of something he was eager to do (not a good sign) or a dom who gets pissy because he so called sub is topping from the bottom, constantly safe wording, or otherwise acting out. Plus we don't know what happened before the meltdown, maybe this was a pattern....
Even if we did know, ultimately you would own what to do. You need to assess what happened, decide whether the blame was yourself, your dom, or a mixture of the two, and decide form there. If you decide the dom went off in a tizzy for no reason and has demonstrated other reasons not to trust him, dump the relationship. Even if you think the issue is yours and you want to work with him, the fact that he won't talk to you may not be a good sign (I mean after a reasonable period; it is a smart dom that gives himself the chance to calm down before talking to their sub about a break....), that could be the sign of an immature, narcissistic ass pretending to be a dom. If it is both of you, then you need to sit down with him when it has cooled down and work out why it broke. Maybe you guys went too far too fast, maybe he assumed you were ready for stuff you aren't, all that can happen. It is why this stuff is supposed to be negotiated, even the TPE D/s people I know negotiated up the chain the level they were at, with some few exceptions it was over a period of time that things went deeper and deeper..maybe you broke because you weren't ready, or because you hit some kind of emotional trigger......
I wish I had more to offer, I wish you luck. Someone might be able to offer more specific advice if we knew more, but even then since we only have your side it only is grist for the mill, it still comes down to you
Even if we did know, ultimately you would own what to do. You need to assess what happened, decide whether the blame was yourself, your dom, or a mixture of the two, and decide form there. If you decide the dom went off in a tizzy for no reason and has demonstrated other reasons not to trust him, dump the relationship. Even if you think the issue is yours and you want to work with him, the fact that he won't talk to you may not be a good sign (I mean after a reasonable period; it is a smart dom that gives himself the chance to calm down before talking to their sub about a break....), that could be the sign of an immature, narcissistic ass pretending to be a dom. If it is both of you, then you need to sit down with him when it has cooled down and work out why it broke. Maybe you guys went too far too fast, maybe he assumed you were ready for stuff you aren't, all that can happen. It is why this stuff is supposed to be negotiated, even the TPE D/s people I know negotiated up the chain the level they were at, with some few exceptions it was over a period of time that things went deeper and deeper..maybe you broke because you weren't ready, or because you hit some kind of emotional trigger......
I wish I had more to offer, I wish you luck. Someone might be able to offer more specific advice if we knew more, but even then since we only have your side it only is grist for the mill, it still comes down to you
KlaytonFrost
Literotica Guru
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- May 1, 2012
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- 519
"Not talking to" someone always strikes me as a thoroughly immature reaction. It's fine to ask for some space and whatnot, but to behave like a child is a bit beyond the pail. You might be better off without...
Nylonlover2035
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2012
- Posts
- 50
You need to find a new Dom. One that will control you yet still respect you. Have you tried looking for a new Dom yet? I'm sure there's one right around the corner from you.... Open your eyes you might have just meant him!!! What if he's younger and really likes to get nasty????
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Really? YOU are going to post on a website called LITerotica, where the size of your polysyllable matters, and you make the following basic mistakes in the first six of your 24 posts?
- abouth a women; wettness
- a women
- Wow - no errors!
- Nylons are fadding away; alot
- becuse
- highschool; alway; One while she was dangleing her heel it feel off; This went in for; pice; She mention she; Well went;
And number 24: "you might have just meant him!!! What if he's younger and really likes to get nasty????"
I originally intended to go through all 24 posts, but I just couldn't force myself to do it. I was throwing up a little in the back of my throat.
Learn to type. Learn to proofread what you type. Learn the singulars and plurals of common English words like "woman." Buy yourself a freakin' spell-checker - they're FREE! Learn a bit of grammar; I didn't even bother with most of *those* mistakes. And by the way, when using endmarks - those are periods, exclamation points and question marks - you only need ONE at the end of each sentence. Adding more makes people perceive you as either (A) 14 or (B) a 14-year-old girl. Learn to communicate before you throw yourself out here as a potential Dominant or other PYL.
And oh, yes... try posting something that's relevant to the OP, why don't you?
Ye gods and goddesses, demons and devils, I get tired of idiots!
midwestyankee
Literotica Guru
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- Sep 4, 2003
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- 32,076
I'm pretty sure my old friend was right: there really are more idiots than people.
DeepGreenEyes
Whittled
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- Dec 23, 2007
- Posts
- 8,516
I'm almost positive that it's all your fault and you need to do anything and everything he says to do to atone. Everything.
That would be just off the top of my head.
That would be just off the top of my head.
midwestyankee
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2003
- Posts
- 32,076
Will he use sign language? Texting? Morse code or smoke signals? Give him a few celibate days and see what happens. If his brain doesn't lead him back to you, that's a problem. But if his dick won't lead him back to you either, you might as well draw the conclusion that it's his fault (or choice; both end up in the same place) and move on to someone else.
Look, bdsm is about relationships. And if you were going to be successful in your first-ever relationship of any given kind, you were thus going to be on the evening news because, you know, woman bites dog. Relationships never work out, until one does.
Ouch.
rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2002
- Posts
- 42,431
He's silent treatmenting you. An old dom mind trick. Endure it with a good attitude, just like any other dom torture.
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2005
- Posts
- 29,460
Totally agree. Good post!
Omg, hahaha
Listen 'mate'. If your sub is upset then don't ignore her. That isn't being a Dom it's just being a dick.
HTH
Edie
subwannabe
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2004
- Posts
- 2,872
You do need a new dom. This guy is nothing but a dickhead who wants nothing more than to abuse you.
LazzieLace
Virgin
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2012
- Posts
- 13
It could be that your Dom is just punishing you by withdrawing and making you think about your actions and how much you want or need him.
If it was me, I would send him an email explaining my actions and that your emotions got to you. These things happen and a good Dom knows that, especially if you are new to all this, and are trying hard.
Don't keep trying to contact him, and tell him that you will await a reply from him when he is ready.
If it was me, I would send him an email explaining my actions and that your emotions got to you. These things happen and a good Dom knows that, especially if you are new to all this, and are trying hard.
Don't keep trying to contact him, and tell him that you will await a reply from him when he is ready.
Etoile
Mod, 2003-2015
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- Dec 20, 2000
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- 17,049
Now now, it's hard to type one handed!
