Lien_Geller
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 236
Basic Info -
Story Name: The Missing Dragon Ch. 02
Author: Lien_Geller
Length: 66 pages in Word.
Category: Sci-Fi and Fantasy. (Medieval fantasy setting. Magic, weird creatures, people with long beards. You get the idea.)
Sub-categories: Group Sex, Lesbian, Non-Human, Exhibitionism, Romance, Erotic Couplings.
- - - - -
First off, I should probably give you a link to the first part of the story.
http://www.literotica.com/s/the-missing-dragon
That is the first instalment and it might be handy to have a look at since it's basically me un-edited. I've gotten a little better since then but that's the kind of thing you'd be in for.
I'd want someone to primarily check my spelling, punctuation and grammar for the second instalment. That's the main thing I'm after. Also, things like annoying word repetition or any plot holes you might stumble across. I've done two passes over the second part myself so I hope there isn't a lot left to do now.
I'm thinking that I'd want an initial assessment of what needs to be done with the story within two days. I don't want a twenty page report or anything like that. Just something along the lines of "This runs smooth enough. Couple of things I've noticed. Should have it back to you within a couple of days" or "Holy shit! Who taught you grammar? Yoda!? See you in six to eight weeks." I'd also like an estimate on how long it'll take you to edit within that time too for the bare bones spelling, punctuation, grammar stuff. I'm hoping to get the thing published in its entirety within two weeks but if that's too much to ask for then I'm flexible
After this 'first pass' I'd also welcome any thoughts you might have about the plot and the characters if anything in particular stuck out to you. I'm quite happy to hear feedback about my story but I also hope you will understand that any ideas you have in that regard might be put aside. I love discussing my stories and I don't expect blind acceptance but I have a long plan for this tale and though I welcome new ideas I'm not going to change it all for you. Judging from what I've looked at on here already I doubt that's going to be a problem but I've never had an editor before so I just wanted to be clear. I don't want you spending hours thinking up new ideas and criticisms only for me to veto everything on the creative side of things. I imagine there's a happy middle ground to be discovered though and I'm eager to seek it out.
I'd also like a reference to a work you've edited (or even written). If you don't have this but want to edit for me anyway then feel free to edit the first page of the first part of The Missing Dragon and send it to me. I'm sorry to ask for this. I know you guys work for free here but I've had a couple of people in the past who said they would edit for me and they turned out to just want to see an early draft of the story. I'm pretty sure some of them didn't know how to speak English properly too. So that's why I'm asking. I don't know anyone around here so references are always appreciated!
Finally, depending on the kind of response I get I might use more than one editor. Especially if one of you guys turns out to be brilliant at correcting my screw ups and another turns out to be full of interesting ideas or something. Just wanted to be up front about that from the start.
Anyway I think that covers it. I hope this is going to get me a few responses. I'd also be happy to hear any questions or conditions you might have. Like I said, I haven't done this before so I'm sorry if I've forgotten anything! Hope to hear from you guys soon.
In the dos and don'ts of this forum it said I should post the first 500 words of the story. So here ya go...
- - - - -
The pale sky above the orc encampment signaled the imminent arrival of the hot yellow sun about to rise up from the great Eastern Ocean. Gregory Hopkins awoke to look up at the dark canopy of his tent and felt the pleasant ache of sore muscle and tendons. It was a reminder of the previous evening and the wonderful women he had shared it with. They were his first thought as he remembered the touch of their flesh, their hunger for his kiss and the music of their soft moans as he repeatedly poured his adoration into their quivering bodies. His eyes closed as he savoured those two feminine bodies laid on either side of him. Their heavy breaths spilled out across his bare chest, long and slow as they remained within the company of their dreams.
To his left he felt the soft peachy bottom of Janette Riley and gave the supple snowy white flesh a gentle squeeze. She was young just like him, no more than eighteen years of age and definitely ripe for the plucking. He remembered the colour rise upon her smooth pale cheeks and the feel of her deep scarlet hair in his hand as he’d taken her. For all his life he had known her to be cruel and vicious until they had both spilled over into this strange new world where it seemed anything was possible. He’d found Janette there, he’d fought for her and he’d won. The display had, by the rules of their hosts, made her his property. Later, by her own will, she had given herself to him completely and they had both ridden the flames of passion until they were utterly spent.
They had not been alone.
Wrapped up in his right arm with her own arm resting across his chest and her leg draped across his body was an altogetherly different female. Unlike Janette who was soft and delicate to his touch, his other woman was firm and honed as if carved from the smoothest emerald and heated to perfection. Her name was Algra Strongblood and she was definitely unlike any woman he had ever known. Though he did not know her age he guessed she was somewhere in her early to mid twenties and it seemed that all those years had been spent shaping herself into the finest feminine form possible. Every part of her was strong and lithe with long beautifully toned legs, a tight round bottom, a trim waist and gorgeous generously proportioned breasts that now squeezed against his body. The most striking feature of hers, as far as Gregory was concerned, was her skin which was a rich shade of green that that darkened upon the peaks of her breasts and over her lips. Her face was also something he was still getting used to, albeit whilst enjoying every glimpse he could get of her. She was a beautiful creature to behold with long jet black hair that spilled out in a feral mess across her head down to her shoulders. A smoothly curved distinctly feminine jaw line lifted into well defined cheeks flanking her lips. Lips that were shaped around the distinct form of her tusks at either corner of her mouth which took the place of her lower canines and raised outward to rest over her upper lip. Both of the distinctly inhuman tusks curved upward and pointed to a long straight nose which flared out into a deep brow that framed a set of wonderfully emotive, dark-chocolate coloured eyes.
- - - - -
Hope that helps! Thanks for reading!
Lien
Story Name: The Missing Dragon Ch. 02
Author: Lien_Geller
Length: 66 pages in Word.
Category: Sci-Fi and Fantasy. (Medieval fantasy setting. Magic, weird creatures, people with long beards. You get the idea.)
Sub-categories: Group Sex, Lesbian, Non-Human, Exhibitionism, Romance, Erotic Couplings.
- - - - -
First off, I should probably give you a link to the first part of the story.
http://www.literotica.com/s/the-missing-dragon
That is the first instalment and it might be handy to have a look at since it's basically me un-edited. I've gotten a little better since then but that's the kind of thing you'd be in for.
I'd want someone to primarily check my spelling, punctuation and grammar for the second instalment. That's the main thing I'm after. Also, things like annoying word repetition or any plot holes you might stumble across. I've done two passes over the second part myself so I hope there isn't a lot left to do now.
I'm thinking that I'd want an initial assessment of what needs to be done with the story within two days. I don't want a twenty page report or anything like that. Just something along the lines of "This runs smooth enough. Couple of things I've noticed. Should have it back to you within a couple of days" or "Holy shit! Who taught you grammar? Yoda!? See you in six to eight weeks." I'd also like an estimate on how long it'll take you to edit within that time too for the bare bones spelling, punctuation, grammar stuff. I'm hoping to get the thing published in its entirety within two weeks but if that's too much to ask for then I'm flexible
After this 'first pass' I'd also welcome any thoughts you might have about the plot and the characters if anything in particular stuck out to you. I'm quite happy to hear feedback about my story but I also hope you will understand that any ideas you have in that regard might be put aside. I love discussing my stories and I don't expect blind acceptance but I have a long plan for this tale and though I welcome new ideas I'm not going to change it all for you. Judging from what I've looked at on here already I doubt that's going to be a problem but I've never had an editor before so I just wanted to be clear. I don't want you spending hours thinking up new ideas and criticisms only for me to veto everything on the creative side of things. I imagine there's a happy middle ground to be discovered though and I'm eager to seek it out.
I'd also like a reference to a work you've edited (or even written). If you don't have this but want to edit for me anyway then feel free to edit the first page of the first part of The Missing Dragon and send it to me. I'm sorry to ask for this. I know you guys work for free here but I've had a couple of people in the past who said they would edit for me and they turned out to just want to see an early draft of the story. I'm pretty sure some of them didn't know how to speak English properly too. So that's why I'm asking. I don't know anyone around here so references are always appreciated!
Finally, depending on the kind of response I get I might use more than one editor. Especially if one of you guys turns out to be brilliant at correcting my screw ups and another turns out to be full of interesting ideas or something. Just wanted to be up front about that from the start.
Anyway I think that covers it. I hope this is going to get me a few responses. I'd also be happy to hear any questions or conditions you might have. Like I said, I haven't done this before so I'm sorry if I've forgotten anything! Hope to hear from you guys soon.
In the dos and don'ts of this forum it said I should post the first 500 words of the story. So here ya go...
- - - - -
The pale sky above the orc encampment signaled the imminent arrival of the hot yellow sun about to rise up from the great Eastern Ocean. Gregory Hopkins awoke to look up at the dark canopy of his tent and felt the pleasant ache of sore muscle and tendons. It was a reminder of the previous evening and the wonderful women he had shared it with. They were his first thought as he remembered the touch of their flesh, their hunger for his kiss and the music of their soft moans as he repeatedly poured his adoration into their quivering bodies. His eyes closed as he savoured those two feminine bodies laid on either side of him. Their heavy breaths spilled out across his bare chest, long and slow as they remained within the company of their dreams.
To his left he felt the soft peachy bottom of Janette Riley and gave the supple snowy white flesh a gentle squeeze. She was young just like him, no more than eighteen years of age and definitely ripe for the plucking. He remembered the colour rise upon her smooth pale cheeks and the feel of her deep scarlet hair in his hand as he’d taken her. For all his life he had known her to be cruel and vicious until they had both spilled over into this strange new world where it seemed anything was possible. He’d found Janette there, he’d fought for her and he’d won. The display had, by the rules of their hosts, made her his property. Later, by her own will, she had given herself to him completely and they had both ridden the flames of passion until they were utterly spent.
They had not been alone.
Wrapped up in his right arm with her own arm resting across his chest and her leg draped across his body was an altogetherly different female. Unlike Janette who was soft and delicate to his touch, his other woman was firm and honed as if carved from the smoothest emerald and heated to perfection. Her name was Algra Strongblood and she was definitely unlike any woman he had ever known. Though he did not know her age he guessed she was somewhere in her early to mid twenties and it seemed that all those years had been spent shaping herself into the finest feminine form possible. Every part of her was strong and lithe with long beautifully toned legs, a tight round bottom, a trim waist and gorgeous generously proportioned breasts that now squeezed against his body. The most striking feature of hers, as far as Gregory was concerned, was her skin which was a rich shade of green that that darkened upon the peaks of her breasts and over her lips. Her face was also something he was still getting used to, albeit whilst enjoying every glimpse he could get of her. She was a beautiful creature to behold with long jet black hair that spilled out in a feral mess across her head down to her shoulders. A smoothly curved distinctly feminine jaw line lifted into well defined cheeks flanking her lips. Lips that were shaped around the distinct form of her tusks at either corner of her mouth which took the place of her lower canines and raised outward to rest over her upper lip. Both of the distinctly inhuman tusks curved upward and pointed to a long straight nose which flared out into a deep brow that framed a set of wonderfully emotive, dark-chocolate coloured eyes.
- - - - -
Hope that helps! Thanks for reading!
Lien
