Wife's in college online.

[SEVERUSMAX]

Any idea how to keep her focused? She's ADD and it can be a bit of an issue with self-discipline. She asked me to keep her on task.

 

[THROBBS]

On-line college course? or at college and distracted by on-line "static"?

Parental controls? Block web-sites?

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

On-line college course? or at college and distracted by on-line "static"?

Parental controls? Block web-sites?

Online correspondence. As for that, I don't think that would work on a wife (even one that is also a switch, since she could be in a vanilla or Dom mood at the moment rather than sub) the same way that it would work on my step-son. I think that I will just have to remind her now and then and keep her son from pestering her (he's 21, doesn't need to have his nose stuck up her ass) when she's trying to study.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Dont waste your breath. It'll become an issue.

 

[PennLady]

Would she do well with a schedule written out? With everything in 20, 30, or 60-minute blocks, whatever might work for her attention span? I don't have ADD but I know sometimes it's a load off to have a schedule with everything written on it so I don't have to think about it.

 

[jomar]

Adderall might do the trick.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Would she do well with a schedule written out? With everything in 20, 30, or 60-minute blocks, whatever might work for her attention span? I don't have ADD but I know sometimes it's a load off to have a schedule with everything written on it so I don't have to think about it.

Thanks.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Thanks.

I think PennLady is right. You need to break it down into increments.

Sorta like y'all's sex life: a five - ten minute session every couple of weeks...

 

[glynndah]

Would she do well with a schedule written out? With everything in 20, 30, or 60-minute blocks, whatever might work for her attention span? I don't have ADD but I know sometimes it's a load off to have a schedule with everything written on it so I don't have to think about it.

I agree with this. Be sure to add in prep time, too. Transitions are frequently an issue with ADD. An area dedicated to study with no distractions might help, too.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I agree with this. Be sure to add in prep time, too. Transitions are frequently an issue with ADD. An area dedicated to study with no distractions might help, too.

Thanks for the input.

 

[glynndah]

Thanks for the input.

If the class has an audio component, a pair of good, well-fitting headphones will probably benefit her more than simple speakers. If it's all visual, white noise or other neutral sounds/music might also help her focus on her lessons and blot out the ambient noise which could be distracting.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

If the class has an audio component, a pair of good, well-fitting headphones will probably benefit her more than simple speakers. If it's all visual, white noise or other neutral sounds/music might also help her focus on her lessons and blot out the ambient noise which could be distracting.

Good idea. Thanks.

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

Max, I'm Mike and I too live in Phoenix area. My wife too had ADHD and quite frankly drives me up the wall with it.

My fist thoughts when I read your post was a timer with set work times and break times. Say 20 min. study and 10 min. break.

I talked yo my wife and she generally agreed with the timer idea. Then mentioned a program called the PomodoroTechnique.com that does something like that. Some of her friends say it works well. You might take a look at it.

My wife, of course didn't have time to read the whole thing, as she had other important things to do. (G) I know you'll understand that.

Good luck to both of you.

Mike

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I agree with this. Be sure to add in prep time, too. Transitions are frequently an issue with ADD. An area dedicated to study with no distractions might help, too.

I have ADD. But what most of us label ADD is simple boredom. When we're bored we're hyper-vigilant for anything that means relief from the boredom, and flip channels, so to speak.

The fix, I think, is discovering what grabs the child or adults attention, then immerse them in THAT activity. But teachers cant do it with a room fulla kids and one lesson plan. Truman Capote failed every subject but English.

My old 1st grade teacher was sharp. She created a space for kids to do WHATEVER once they completed their lesson plan activity. No tickee no washee. It worked for me, and I still use her intervention.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I have ADD. But what most of us label ADD is simple boredom. When we're bored we're hyper-vigilant for anything that means relief from the boredom, and flip channels, so to speak.

The fix, I think, is discovering what grabs the child or adults attention, then immerse them in THAT activity. But teachers cant do it with a room fulla kids and one lesson plan. Truman Capote failed every subject but English.

My old 1st grade teacher was sharp. She created a space for kids to do WHATEVER once they completed their lesson plan activity. No tickee no washee. It worked for me, and I still use her intervention.

So you're really Truman Capote???

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So you're really Truman Capote???

I just write like him.

 

[cocput]

You may want to try another simple technique:

First observe how long she can maintain her attention span. Everyone has a span during their waking hours when their attention span lasts longest. (It's around 4 am for me.)

Follow up to ensure that she works during that time.

During other time, encourage her to talk about what she is reading.

You should device a simple reward scheme, something she looks forward to.

Most importantly, do not pester. Doesn't work. A simple cup of coffee or whatever works more wonders than any seeming pressure on her.

Take printouts. Reading in screen is horrible. Record all video lectures into a DVD and play it on a big screen.

Lullaby: If there is audio stream, then play it while she is napping. There is a part of brain that continues learning even during sleep.

Music or whatever that works: Listening to classical instrumental helps me. I have a friend who needs rock music in the back ground to concentrate. Any familiar background noise that wont distract.

--scorpio

 

[TE999]

Two words: locked door.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I just write like him.

He's dead and doesn't write shit. So I guess you're correct... You do write like him!

 

[PayDay]

Any idea how to keep her focused? She's ADD and it can be a bit of an issue with self-discipline. She asked me to keep her on task.

Literotica Online Discussion Board is no substitute for a Mental Health Professional, the correct medication, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Best bet, do the work with her, and help her the whole way through. Genuine cases of ADD require Special Education Teachers reguardless of education level. Her doctor should be able to furnish most of the information you will need, that's what you pay them for.

That is, unless she isn't diagnosed ADD, and you are just trying to be cute with her naturally erratic behavior by using an actual mental disorder as a comparison, which isn't cute.

Mental health problems are not a subject to be taken lightly. If you 'think' she is actually ADD, then take her to a doctor and support her. Duh. Trying to 'make her do her work' is only going to make the situation worse.

If she does not actually have a mental health issue, tell her: "Shut the fuck up, sit down, and do your homework you lazy bitch."

Then go punch yourself repeatedly for starting this thread.

 

[cocput]

Please, give the man a break/

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Literotica Online Discussion Board is no substitute for a Mental Health Professional, the correct medication, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Best bet, do the work with her, and help her the whole way through. Genuine cases of ADD require Special Education Teachers reguardless of education level. Her doctor should be able to furnish most of the information you will need, that's what you pay them for.

That is, unless she isn't diagnosed ADD, and you are just trying to be cute with her naturally erratic behavior by using an actual mental disorder as a comparison, which isn't cute.

Mental health problems are not a subject to be taken lightly. If you 'think' she is actually ADD, then take her to a doctor and support her. Duh. Trying to 'make her do her work' is only going to make the situation worse.

If she does not actually have a mental health issue, tell her: "Shut the fuck up, sit down, and do your homework you lazy bitch."

Then go punch yourself repeatedly for starting this thread.

I think you missed the door to the GeeBee.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

I have a son who struggled with ADD through school. What helped him was giving him a way to refocus on the task at hand. For example, when he was a 3rd grader with a page of math problems, we'd do it in front of the TV (much to my wife's horror). I'd wait until a commercial break and then ask, "Think you can get three problems down by the end of the commercials?"

"You bet!" he'd say and attack. Each time he looked up at the TV at a commercial, it reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing and his head would go right back down to the page. It was a bit like watching a weird tennis match with his head bobbing up and down instead of side to side, but it worked. He and I could get his math work down in half an hour versus when his mom would lord over him, tapping the page every time he looked up. It took hours when they did homework together.

Time pressure works for ADD folks, too, because each time they notice the clock, they're reminded of the task at hand.

A recent study I read suggested rewards based on time, but that's tough with the ADD folks - because they'll find a way to waste time during the work time.

Seems counter-intuitive to add a distraction, but music while studying can work for the ADD - for the same reason as the commercials did. When the person drifts, the music reminds them what they're supposed to be doing.

ADD or ADHD is not a disability, it's a creative way of thinking. Rather than see it as something to "fix," find a way to make it work.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I have a son who struggled with ADD through school. What helped him was giving him a way to refocus on the task at hand. For example, when he was a 3rd grader with a page of math problems, we'd do it in front of the TV (much to my wife's horror). I'd wait until a commercial break and then ask, "Think you can get three problems down by the end of the commercials?"

"You bet!" he'd say and attack. Each time he looked up at the TV at a commercial, it reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing and his head would go right back down to the page. It was a bit like watching a weird tennis match with his head bobbing up and down instead of side to side, but it worked. He and I could get his math work down in half an hour versus when his mom would lord over him, tapping the page every time he looked up. It took hours when they did homework together.

Time pressure works for ADD folks, too, because each time they notice the clock, they're reminded of the task at hand.

A recent study I read suggested rewards based on time, but that's tough with the ADD folks - because they'll find a way to waste time during the work time.

Seems counter-intuitive to add a distraction, but music while studying can work for the ADD - for the same reason as the commercials did. When the person drifts, the music reminds them what they're supposed to be doing.

ADD or ADHD is not a disability, it's a creative way of thinking. Rather than see it as something to "fix," find a way to make it work.

Very good! Your idea to make all but the task unappealing is clever and effective!