Foul-mouthed friend.

[warrior queen]

I have a friend I have known since I was 5 years old, who counts me as one of her closest friends ever, but she has a bad habit that is starting irritate me beyond reason... she swears constantly.
If it was only a 'bloody' or 'fuck' thrown in here and there, it wouldn't get to me so much. But she uses words like 'prick', 'asshole' and 'cunt' in practically every sentence She also uses these words in texts, on facebook and in emails.
As we've grown up in such close contact, I am finding it very difficult explaining to her that I dislike her language, and that it is causing me some irritation.
Especially as she seems to have no idea that she's doing it (to the extent that her language is just as bad in front of her kids, and everyone elses too).

I'm torn... On the one hand, I really don't want to be around that any more, and on the other she's one of my oldest friends.

*sigh* Maybe I'm just getting conservative as I'm getting older.
What would you do in this situation?
(For the record, as seen by some of my posts here, I am definitely not known for my softlysoftly ability )

 

[CandiCame]

Since when is "bloody" a fucking curse word? We use it in children's cartoons (TVG cartoons, as in, it's so not a swear). Also... why do you want to censor your friend? Is it because you think it's crude or disrespectful or something? I've never got why people randomly start getting pissed about shit that's always been there. That's like my ex getting pissed because I was a whore. He KNEW that about me. You KNEW your friend curses, why are you suddenly pissed about it now?

 

[warrior queen]

I don't know why suddenly it's so annoying to listen to, but it is.
Today, she rang me to catch up, and one particular sentence really got to me, and I ended up cutting the call short because of it. But it's been grating for a while now.
I sat with my phone in my hand after we'd hung up, and it struck me that I no longer enjoy conversing with her because of her language.

 

[CandiCame]

I don't know why suddenly it's so annoying to listen to, but it is.
Today, she rang me to catch up, and one particular sentence really got to me, and I ended up cutting the call short because of it. But it's been grating for a while now.
I sat with my phone in my hand after we'd hung up, and it struck me that I no longer enjoy conversing with her because of her language.

Weird... I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you should talk to her about it. I mean, folk that curse a lot, like, well, me, know that it's a dick move to do to folk who think it's rude. You "act like you have some sense" which, I guess, involves a censored vocabulary, around them. For most folk, that generally just includes judges and cops, but if you feel that's it's disrespectful, I'd tell her, because if you don't, she'll never even know why you're being so curt, always cutting calls short and whatnot, until she calls up one day and asks, "So why have you been so fucking distant, bitch?"

And you'll have built up and built up until the annoyance develops into genuine anger and you get into an actual fight about it. That's what I'd do anyway, with people who's habits bother me and I'm afraid that it'll affect our relationship. I'm probably a bad one to give advice though, I kind of suck at life. But I thought if I kept throwing ideas out there, one of them has to be good- roomful of monkies with typewriters type of deal.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Since when is "bloody" a fucking curse word? We use it in children's cartoons (TVG cartoons, as in, it's so not a swear). Also... why do you want to censor your friend? Is it because you think it's crude or disrespectful or something? I've never got why people randomly start getting pissed about shit that's always been there. That's like my ex getting pissed because I was a whore. He KNEW that about me. You KNEW your friend curses, why are you suddenly pissed about it now?

you really are an idiot

 

[December]

you really are an idiot

Again, it's a good thing your opinion means zip. Zilch. Nada.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Again, it's a good thing your opinion means zip. Zilch. Nada.

awwwwww i'm picking on Decembers phony girlfriend and she doesn't like it.

Hold on let me get you ladies some tissues.

 

[Saint Peter]

Fuck.

That sucks.

 

[Comshaw]

If it twere me I'd be asking why of a sudden I couldn't stomach my friend's language choices. Once you figure that out, then you can decide what to do. Sometimes its just a matter of outgrowing it. Sometimes it's a bit more. Either way you have choices. You can ignore it and try to avoid her, or dig around and try to find a reason for it and base your choice on your discovery.

It ain't never easy unless you're the shallow type. And it ain't never fun to loose a long time friend or acquaintance for no other reason then just because.

Time to ride off to work...


Comshaw

 

[warrior queen]

It's been an irritation for a while. Maybe the last year.
But I really thought I could deal with it because of our longtime friendship.
Today's conversation had a sentence in it, that coming about 1/2 an hour after I saw her latest fb post, just got to me.
The sentence was something like... "Those fucking arsey cunts, I fucking hate their bullshit and the crap I have to deal with. I wish all those cunts would just fucking die."

So much foul language!
I must be getting older, because a few yrs ago I would have just tuned it out... now, it's actually offensive to hear it.

I have been trying to figure a way to tell her that her language is upsetting, but I just can't figure a way to do it that's not in my usual in-your-face-bluntness.
I don't want to hurt her, but neither do I want to have to be subjected to this pottymouth talk.

 

[colddiesel]

.
I don't want to hurt her, but neither do I want to have to be subjected to this pottymouth talk.

Hurt her. You would be doing her a favour. And if she objects you will be well rid of her.

 

[warrior queen]

Hurt her. You would be doing her a favour. And if she objects you will be well rid of her.

It's me, I know it is.
The last few years I have stopped swearing (except when I kick the sofa leg - then it's on!), I have stopped the all-nighters, I have changed from wearing fashion and gone to classic timeless... I think I may have *gasp!* grown up!!!

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

It's me, I know it is.
The last few years I have stopped swearing (except when I kick the sofa leg - then it's on!), I have stopped the all-nighters, I have changed from wearing fashion and gone to classic timeless... I think I may have *gasp!* grown up!!!

It is not you. It is common decency among civilized people. I do not have virgin ears and I do not get offended from bad language. However as the norm vulgar language is generally excepted when used if injured or angry or while sexing a person up. Vulgar language in common usage is a display of lack of class.

Welcome to adulthood.

 

[Saint Peter]

The guy posting pictures of a woman fucking a gearshift is going to tell us about class?



Yeah.


Fuck that.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

The guy posting pictures of a woman fucking a gearshift is going to tell us about class?



Yeah.


Fuck that.

i know what class is i never claimed to have any in my possession.

 

[Saint Peter]

My mistake.

Carry the fuck on.

 

[Joeybagadonuts]

I have a friend I have known since I was 5 years old, who counts me as one of her closest friends ever, but she has a bad habit that is starting irritate me beyond reason... she swears constantly.
If it was only a 'bloody' or 'fuck' thrown in here and there, it wouldn't get to me so much. But she uses words like 'prick', 'asshole' and 'cunt' in practically every sentence She also uses these words in texts, on facebook and in emails.
As we've grown up in such close contact, I am finding it very difficult explaining to her that I dislike her language, and that it is causing me some irritation.
Especially as she seems to have no idea that she's doing it (to the extent that her language is just as bad in front of her kids, and everyone elses too).

I'm torn... On the one hand, I really don't want to be around that any more, and on the other she's one of my oldest friends.

*sigh* Maybe I'm just getting conservative as I'm getting older.
What would you do in this situation?
(For the record, as seen by some of my posts here, I am definitely not known for my softlysoftly ability )

I use fuck a lot depending on who I'm talking with. It get tiresome to me when I hear people constantly cursing but I don't understand why people get upset by words with the exception of the N word.

Why not just say to your friend, Hey asshole, I'm tired of listening to your filthy, fucking mouth, get some new adjectives.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."`

 

[trysail]

I have a friend ... she swears constantly.

She swears like a sailor? You're an [ex-]sailor; you should be used to it by now.

 

[Edith_UK]

If you're good friends, just tell her in a polite way that it's pissing you off. You don't need a reason, and it's ok to change how you feel about stuff. I'm sure she'll respect your opinion. And you can wander off into the sunset of friendship together.

No need to thank me

 

[blunt_trauma]

record your conversation.
play it to her.
yw.

 

[warrior queen]

She swears like a sailor? You're an [ex-]sailor; you should be used to it by now.

You're stereotyping. Not all sailors swear like mad!
Even while on the tuna boat, I noticed that the only time the boys swore was when the fish were on - the rest of the time they were actually quite civilised.

But you're right in one way... I should be used to it.

 

[MeeMie]

You've grown and she might, too.

Have a heart to heart with her and explain how you're feeling.

 

[warrior queen]

If you're good friends, just tell her in a polite way that it's pissing you off. You don't need a reason, and it's ok to change how you feel about stuff. I'm sure she'll respect your opinion. And you can wander off into the sunset of friendship together.

No need to thank me

I'm still trying to think of a way to tell her that won't upset her too much.
She's a rough one... drinks like a docker, swears like a trouper, lives really hard. But has a heart of pure gold, and would do anything for her friends.
A true-blue outback sheila.

 

[warrior queen]

record your conversation.
play it to her.
yw.

This is actually not a bad idea.
ty.

 

[girlsmiley]

Today, she rang me to catch up, and one particular sentence really got to me, and I ended up cutting the call short because of it.

Ok, but did you wank? Sorry I can't seem to help myself these days

She's your mate.

Tell her like this:

"Listen, cunt. You have a mouth like a fucking toilet. Sort your shit out because it annoys the fuck outta me. Sometimes is ok, but sometimes it's not. And if you can't, I'll tell you to fuck off. Deal?"

Sorted mate