Here's one for feedback!

[sdnt]

My most recent short story, Received, is under the category of Toys & Masturbation. It also has the tags daughter and mother in it. It's not incest, they don't have sexual relations with each other.

Anyways, please tell me what you think! If you'd be so kind to rate it, too? Thanks!

 

[sdnt]

Boop boop boop

 

[sdnt]

Help please

 

[Ember_on_ice]

I stopped in and read your short story. It was sort of odd, how the main focus of the narrative and all the descriptive passages were centered on the daughter, but then it was the mother whose sexuality we shared. It made me think that this might be an excerpt from a much longer story, where we get to know the mother, daughter and father equally well, and follow all of them through their separate viewpoints of their shared lives.

Aside from that, I noticed a few grammatical and syntax errors, but nothing major.

Good luck, and don't let the bastards get you down!

 

[sdnt]

I stopped in and read your short story. It was sort of odd, how the main focus of the narrative and all the descriptive passages were centered on the daughter, but then it was the mother whose sexuality we shared. It made me think that this might be an excerpt from a much longer story, where we get to know the mother, daughter and father equally well, and follow all of them through their separate viewpoints of their shared lives.

Aside from that, I noticed a few grammatical and syntax errors, but nothing major.

Good luck, and don't let the bastards get you down!

Mmm, I wasn't planning on a series or anything, but I get what you're saying.

Yeah, sorry about those.

Thank you for your feedback

 

[sdnt]

Bump.