More Detail Please

[Bilboa81]

Many of the stories I read on Literotica lack sufficient detail, particularly in crucial scenes. If a story is to feel real and presumably arouse, it will need lots of detail. Too often writers will dispose of an important scene in 2-3 shortish paragraphs and that gives their story little chance of being memorable.

For an erotic scene to be effective it should be at least 1,000 words and the really good ones are much longer. A memorable scene in "Zulu" for instance, is almost 2,500 words.

And while some stories work well focusing on the man's sexual reactions in an erotic scene I think it is much more effective when the author spotlights the woman's sexual responses; I'm talking about heterosexual couplings of course.

All this has implications for point of view, so that has to be a serious part of the equation. But if erotica is going to be effective it has to give us readers the details.

 

[sr71plt]

I'd say that a major mistake of beginning writers is in providing too much irrelevant detail--and that there's no wordage requirement attached to what makes a scene work or not.

 

[PennLady]

I think that's quite the generalization in the OP. Some people may like a lot of detail, some may not, and I imagine it's the content of the detail that's important, not the quantity of them. No one can say what a word limit, even a minimum, is for any type of scene.

 

[Innuendos]

I think you're placing a little too much emphasis on word count and not enough on content. My particular writing style of the actual coupling leaves something to be desired, I know, but putting more detail isn't helpful unless it's detail that is actually going to appeal to the reader, with an emphasis on those details that appeal.

Examples, is it the bed-talk or the physical reactions to the sex? Five senses invocation, or environment? Flipping through each of the positions like a rolodex or focusing on one? Some small mix of all of the above elements, or an emphasis on a single part?

I never seem to get the balance just right, and I generally back off on that part of it, probably to the detriment of the erotic element of my stories, but what it comes back to is that it's not really an issue of word numbers, but using the details in a way that is appealing.

 

[Bilboa81]

It seems to me that in writing generally the evocation of physical and emotional content requires skillful description and the more detail and metaphor the more successful the evocation. Isn't it the role of erotica to titillate? And how do you do that without skillful and detailed description?

 

[CWatson]

I'd say that a major mistake of beginning writers is in providing too much irrelevant detail--and that there's no wordage requirement attached to what makes a scene work or not.

I'd have to agree, but I'd also have to say that another major mistake of beginning writers is not providing enough detail, or at least not enough relevant ones. I think that's what the OP is running afoul of.

Bilboa, the thing about sex is, it's a very personal process. What turns me on is not necessarily what turns you on. So, if I'm a beginning writer, there's a lot of insecurity hovering around me. "What if what I write doesn't work?" Not to mention, "What if someone makes fun of me for thinking this is titillating?" And this is completely aside from the technical business of getting words lined up in a row; you clearly have no problem constructing functional sentences, but other (so-called) writers find this pretty challenging.

And, unfortunately, that isn't going to change. Improving someone else's writing style is a lot harder than, say, reading a different story. So ultimately, that's the best advice any of us can give you. Is your concern valid? Yeah, honestly, it is. Can any of us change it? Nope. If a story is bland and un-descriptive to you, hit "Back" and go read something else. Simple as that. *shrug*

 

[sr71plt]

I'd have to agree, but I'd also have to say that another major mistake of beginning writers is not providing enough detail, or at least not enough relevant ones. I think that's what the OP is running afoul of.

Agreed. (I specified "irrelevant" detail.) Beginners dom though--at least in my editing experience--start off writing on the side of too much/too irrelevant rather than not enough. This is particularly so when they go for the rolling written/published serial story.

 

[lovecraft68]

It seems to me that in writing generally the evocation of physical and emotional content requires skillful description and the more detail and metaphor the more successful the evocation. Isn't it the role of erotica to titillate? And how do you do that without skillful and detailed description?

I agree that I like it if an author can "put me there". If a couple is having sex, I enjoy knowing what else is going on other than the obvious. Is there a mirror in the room? If so are they seeing their reflection?

What is the room like, what are they wearing? How did it come off? I enjoy very small details, but they need to be mentioned without breaking the flow of the scene so the length is not so much important as how much they can say in the words they're using.

 

[lovecraft68]

Agreed. (I specified "irrelevant" detail.) Beginners dom though--at least in my editing experience--start off writing on the side of too much/too irrelevant rather than not enough. This is particularly so when they go for the rolling written/published serial story.

There's also a school of thought tossed around that it is better to have too much over too little because you can (or an editor can) cut out the excess, where it is harder to add to a scene or story later on.

 

[lance gt]

I understand what the OP wants, as a story being emotionally uplifting, without the checklists of positions and body parts. It has to arouse on a deeper level other than physical content, therefore the emotional impact must be well described and detailed, so the reader has the sense of how it feels, not just a written visual of porn.

I just submitted a 13k chapter that's 98%, one long sex scene, yet it has more of an emotional existence, than a physical one. There's no lack of description in what they're doing, just more, as to what happens as they do it.

 

[PennLady]

It seems to me that in writing generally the evocation of physical and emotional content requires skillful description and the more detail and metaphor the more successful the evocation. Isn't it the role of erotica to titillate? And how do you do that without skillful and detailed description?

"Skillful" and "detailed" does not mean there has to be lots of it. More is not always better. As a writer you use the right words, you hope, to get things across -- I don't count whether I've used enough words. I want the right ones, whether that means using ten words or twenty.

The "role" of erotica -- and by this I think you mean "purpose" -- might be to titillate, but also might be to explore some sexual aspect of the human condition, and probably is a combination of both.

 

[Derroreaper]

You used Zulu as an example, but I didn't see what you're describing, in that story. When the colorful metaphors are distracting I think they should be left out.

2500 words can work for a single sex scene, but I believe it needs to be in a longer story with more built up tension. For me the build-up usually decides the length of the sex scene.

Obviously these are just my opinions, and we all have one. I have read stories here with extremely long sex scenes, and when done with skill, they are great reads, but just stretching out a love scene with added colorful words usually doesn't impress the reader.

Derro-

 

[sr71plt]

2,500 words can work for a full story with multiple sex scenes. If, as has been mentioned above, you choose your words really, really well.

 

[Derroreaper]

I agree 100%

My LW story "Morgan Bloom" is only 2800 words, one Lit page, and its the top story in LW for the last thirty days.

I ignored word count, and just wrote the story, it ended when it was done.

 

[Etaski]

It seems to me that in writing generally the evocation of physical and emotional content requires skillful description and the more detail and metaphor the more successful the evocation. Isn't it the role of erotica to titillate? And how do you do that without skillful and detailed description?

For the most part, that's what I like, and what I like to try to do....

...however, I ran smackdab into an exception.

I wrote a blurb, a literal blurb, 450 words, not even long enough to meet the minimum requirement to submit to Literotica as a story. It was just dialogue. I'm not even sure why I wrote it.

One person told me that while he generally enjoys my stories, he finds some more intense than others. When I asked him which story he found most intense, it was that little, bitty spit of an erotic blurb was the one that stuck with him for over 3 years and it had a deep effect on him. I'm not even certain many other readers would agree with him, but he knows what he likes.

Not the usual cup of tea, but an example of how there's something for everyone.

 

[nakdsub]

Once again gang...

I think we're all being strung along here. The young OP evidently believes writing should be done his way only, yet has no stories of his own with which to prove his point. I wonder what he thinks about Hemingway? He was the master at divulging just enough detail to make the scene work.

We all have our own styles and we all have our followers who enjoy our writing. I doubt that any of us will strive to appease our young critic.

 

[sr71plt]

Not a bad discussion to have, though.

 

[nakdsub]

I thought of that but...

Where would it go? I, for one, hate too much extraneous detail. It becomes boring as far as I'm concerned. Of course different scenes and situations demand more detail than others. I just believe you write in the style you most like and you will find your readers. Trying to determine how much detail you should put into any given scene by a word count is just ludacris.

 

[CSConnor]

Maybe the trouble is in strict definition of what a sex scene is? I always thought that a sex scene's length didn't really matter, just like the amount of time you spend climaxing doesn't matter. Sometimes you can have excruciatingly long, drawn-out rides going for pages and pages, but a sudden quick release after a subtly arousing build-up in the story can be just as satisfying. That's what I reckon, anyway.

Example, in case I'm not being clear: two people meet for sex in your story, having no relationship beforehand. The actual physical act of sex needs an introduction, slow buildup, climax and conclusion, like a story in itself. This requires a fair amount of lexical legwork to pull off successfully.

However, if your participants know each other already, you can use non-sexual or only slightly sexual scenes to build tension beforehand. Arousal can take many forms, and as long as there's sufficient buildup then the actual act of sex can be pretty brief. It's still satisfying if you've paced the action properly.

Although I'm no expert. Just my thoughts on the subject.

 

[sr71plt]

I think you're right about sex scenes--but I think the "trouble" with the tread is that it's just a false premise to be giving wordage guidance on a sex scene.