Open Bisexual? Not really

[Missouribiguy]

I have always wonder if you all are open with your bisexuality? By which, I don't mean just your spouse, but your family/friends/community.

Tell you the truth, I'm not overtly open. I've been open to some people, who are ok with it, but I see alot of homophobia in both my extended family and at my job (considering the later is a nursing home, makes it even more depressing).

However, I also feel that being bisexual shouldn't be anybody's business except for you and your significant other.

so, what about you all?

 

[renrob]

I'm open with my friends. One of my sisters (the more liberal one) knows. Don't tell many (if) any work mates.

 

[KinkyGoose]

Me? Not at all... the only people who know my disposition are here on Lit. The only IRL people that know about it are the guys who's cocks I've sucked

 

[PressNightly]

There are a few people who know who I really am, my wife being one of them, another being someone I met here who knows my real identity (yes I'm a superhero! ).

There are a couple of reasons I haven't come out to everyone yet, first being my dad is homophobic, when I was young he used to tell me and my brothers that he wasn't about to have a gay son, but just recently I jokingly accused him of being a homophobe and he said that he'd be ok if any of his sons were gay, that he loves us no matter what.

Now I don't know if he's truly had a change of heart or just doesn't want to appear prejudiced, but I know there's no way of telling my familly members who would be accepting of my sexuality without it getting back to him. And despite all his flaws I still love him.

The second reason I haven't come out to other people is that I'm still checking the confused box on my "I like to fuck _______" form. I don't want to come out and drop that bombshell on my familly (there's a lot of clusterbombs attached to that secret) until I really know where I stand. Lately I've been beginning to realize that I probably lean fairly far into the gay side of the aisle and I'm wondering if I might not just be gay altogether. When I know for sure I will tell the people I care about.

Thirdly, there seems to be a bit of a stigma against bi people both in the hetero and homo camps, I've seen several threads on this board and elsewhere acusing Bis of being unapologetic hedonists, or not having the stones to pick an orientation, or of being bored straight guys who aren't getting their knobs polished enough at home, and frankly if I'm gonna face discrimination in any form, I'd rather it be 'deserved' rather than have to take the bi crap and then later on say 'wait I was wrong'.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've seen several threads on this board

Almost all posted by one person, if you look carefully.

Just saying.

 

[Missouribiguy]

Almost all posted by one person, if you look carefully.

Just saying.

Um, did I miss something?

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I have always wonder if you all are open with your bisexuality? By which, I don't mean just your spouse, but your family/friends/community.

Tell you the truth, I'm not overtly open. I've been open to some people, who are ok with it, but I see alot of homophobia in both my extended family and at my job (considering the later is a nursing home, makes it even more depressing).

However, I also feel that being bisexual shouldn't be anybody's business except for you and your significant other.

so, what about you all?

I am openly queer.

And it has been hard...but worth it.

How many of my real life people know?

ANYONE that I have dealt with sexually.

ANYONE that I have had a long term relationship with (if they are women~for some odd reason I don't feel like sharing that part of me with a man...and haven't in over 7 years or as long as I have been dating women, exclusively)...

The majority of my still living family.

Quite a few co-workers.

*shrugs*

I refuse to hide behind a label or to allow others to voice their beliefs about what bisexuality means, no matter their orientation, without defending myself and my own personal integrity.

I have always chosen to live out.

And for the few who can't stomach my queerness...or find the fact that I have kids and that I can not say I will never ever have sex with a man again....*shrugs*

Fuck em. I ain't here to live my life to their standards. I am here to live my life, my way.

Being queer and gender bent doesn't mean I am lesbian. Being in a monogamous long term relationship with a woman doesn't make me a lesbian...

and lying about my queerness would only hurt those I deal with in that way.

So I don't do it.

But that's just me.

It ain't right or wrong, just is how it is.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Words to live by, Luna

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Words to live by, Luna

[hi-jack]

*tackles sexy gentleman Stella to the ground so that I can do stuff*

[/hi-jack]

 

[PressNightly]

Almost all posted by one person, if you look carefully.

Just saying.

Qute possible, tbph I haven't really checked, but it's also not just on lit, I had a guy once back in the day who started asking me about my sex life and I told him that I had a girlfriend and while I was sucking and stroking him he asked what I'd done with her.

At first he seemed really interested in it, then he got pissed off all of a sudden and kicked me out of his car. I've also visited some other internet forums and read some blogs/articles that have led me to believe that this attitude towards bisexuality is more than just a rare passing fad.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Almost all posted by one person, if you look carefully.

Just saying.

Stella, do NOT start shit AGAIN.

Just saying.

(Oh, and I know you don't think anybody can ever question the motivations of bisexuals, but you really need to learn to deal with it, deary)

 

[Fmature2play]

Funny thing about sexuality is that, for me at least, as I go from hetero to bi to completely lesbian I have felt my attitudes toward the hetero crowd change. I could not care any less for one's orientation but whereas I used to tolerate (or prolly just dismiss) a hetero person being disrespectful toward a bi or gay person, now I get downright pissed. Fast. I am quickly becoming militant towards those whose ignorant opinions they just cannot seem to keep to themselves. This is manifesting itself as I get more and more comfortable with myself. I am much more open about my lifestyle than even 3-4 months ago when I was around here last. By the same token I am becoming less and less willing to suffer fools though.

 

[LucyH]

Not really, but in real life, I'm not really open about any of my sexual preferences. People who have a reason to know know, and those who don't, don't.

 

[Girl2P4U]

Very well said Lucy.

 

[Allyourbase]

I am one of those lucky people who has very open minded parents, friends and colleagues. In real life, I don't make a secret of it. Especially not with my partner. It's a fluid thing, so I'm wary of labeling myself when talking to others. But most people know me long enough to know about my crushes on more than one gender, and also to see my gender bending. I'm out as kinky to a couple of them as well.

Online, however... that's different. I feel less at ease talking about it here, because my SO (of a decade and a half) is a very straight, white, middle class man (who is deliciously kinky and tolerates my gender bending wonderfully). Which makes me exactly that most despised of them all. A 'bi girl' in a straight relationship who won't leave her 'bf'. Which is not how it feels to me, but one could call it that. So, yknow, nevermind, it's OK, i'll just lurk.

I'm wondering why I do want to post in this thread. Not that I'm really comfortable here. Maybe because I wanted to show that sometimes real life is not where one can be reluctant about it, but online is.

Oh well, my 2 cents.

 

[Kurokami]

*Squeals* Yay! Allyourbase-postage! Hi, dude!

In answer to the actual question, yeah, some people know I'm bi, some people don't. The reactions are always kind of interesting, too; when I began expressing my interest in men to my wife (then girlfriend) she was not only accepting, but actually went out of her way to encourage and facilitate my getting my dude-love on. But then, she's awesome, and I guess she also wanted to watch

In the last few months I've had to explain this my (and the wife's) new girlfriend who, given that she's sleeping with both of us, is clearly bi herself. She didn't really care, though she's got no interest in seeing that happen. Actually, now that I think about it, the "open-ness" of this particular relationship probably needs a little more discussing...

My parents know... Well, my mum knows, and if she knows I guess my dad does by extension, but I don't really give a fuck about what he thinks. In some ways it's liberating, in that there's another person out there I don't have to hide this from, but then again she does treat it like a joke. Bleh.

Very few of my friends know, mostly because that's a kind of line in my head; what I do with my cock is none of my friends' business, unless I'm doing it to them. Which, by and large, I don't.

 

[Allyourbase]

*Squeals* Yay! Allyourbase-postage! Hi, dude!
...

In the last few months I've had to explain this my (and the wife's) new girlfriend who, given that she's sleeping with both of us, is clearly bi herself. She didn't really care, though she's got no interest in seeing that happen. Actually, now that I think about it, the "open-ness" of this particular relationship probably needs a little more discussing...

Hai Kuro!

Your new gf didn't know before you started dating? Good thing it turned out not to be an issue.

 

[TallOne]

Just open with the ones it matters to; wife, her girlfriend, any other potential partners we get with, and my doctor.

Still legal to discriminate on sexual orientation here, but even if it wasn't wouldn't be out with coworkers/acquaintances. Just doesn't matter to them unless I'm having sex with them...

I will voice support for glbt rights though if a conversation goes that way or someone posts up a facebook link to a petition or some such, which I'm sure might raise some flags/whispers behind my back.

Parents are of the Glenn Beck listening variety...so that ain't happening.

 

[birob74]

too some.....

At first, I was only out to my wife.. I told her I was bi before we were married.... And she was fine with it, as long as NOT acted upon. And for the longest time, those desires were behind me. Then, after many years of supressing those desires, they became much stronger... And I told my wife that..... Well, now we are divorced, with my bisexuality only being a small part of it. I have told myself I am NOT going to keep it hidden anymore. I came out to my dad, brother and sisters last June. They took it with mixed results. Dad was not real happy but has come around of late. The siblings were pretty much OK with it..... Pretty much all my friends on Facebook know. And some people at work do. About the only ones that don't know are my 2 daughters, ages 13 and 16. I am TRYING to get the nerve up to tell them, too......

 

[Reading_is_Sexy]

My hubby knows that I am attracted to women very much. He also knows that I have never acted upon my feelings. This past year, I have become more and more open with myself about my my bi-curiosity. I can't say that I am bi-sexual for sure or not as I have never even kissed another woman. But it is something I would like to explore, and until I know with confidence, it will stay between any women that I get to know on this level, my husband, and myself.

 

[klippert]

my perspective

I'd consider myself bi-enough (hehe). Open about my sexual interest. My perspecitve....like my salary. I like too keep somethings personal. Mrs. K has made some hints about mFm and bi-sex...I believe she has very good Idea, when my first marriage went down, I had some, (for a better word) adventures. At this moment in my life. pursuing that sexual interest (M/M) sex is more chat and cam fantasy. She isn't dumb, since I ask her too play with my back-hole. She knows their is something (sexual) in my past that I keep under wraps.

When that day cums, and I wish too act on the urge. Mrs K will be the first too know. I could, certainly just cum out and tell her, but, I don't feel it necessary, nor am I (as fore mentioned) out cruising cock. I can honestly say...A friend with extras would be HOT.....

For me alone, I just don't think it is necessary too run about with a bull-horn. My life is my own....If, by chance someone brought it up and the conversation was a comfortable situation. I would be more than willing to Open up.

 

[Mr. Briggs]

Not really, but in real life, I'm not really open about any of my sexual preferences. People who have a reason to know know, and those who don't, don't.

that is so dead on. Well said

 

[sexy2lookin4you]

Stella, do NOT start shit AGAIN.

Just saying.

(Oh, and I know you don't think anybody can ever question the motivations of bisexuals, but you really need to learn to deal with it, deary)

What is the point of questioning a bisexual person's motives? What difference does it make to you what drives them? Seriously we as people do not choose who turn us on and as a lesbian I would think you understand that. Closemindedness really does come from all fronts. Smh.

 

[sexy2lookin4you]

Oh maybe I should have answered the question lol. A few friends know I like to experiment. Only the guys though. As a semi bi woman the only girl friends I have that know are the ones who share my sentiments

 

[Safe_Bet]

What is the point of questioning a bisexual person's motives? What difference does it make to you what drives them? Seriously we as people do not choose who turn us on and as a lesbian I would think you understand that. Closemindedness really does come from all fronts. Smh.

You REALLY should get a freakin clue about context before you comment. It will keep you from looking quite so stupid.

BTW, what the fuck is "semi Bi"???? In other words your straight unless kissing some chick to show off for the frat boys?