chattycathy46
Virgin
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- Feb 28, 2012
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- 11
I am brand new and interested in being a sub...
Hi I am brand new wanting to be a sub...
Hi I am brand new wanting to be a sub...
Curious to be a sub...
- Thread starter chattycathy46
- Start date
chattycathy46
Virgin
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- Feb 28, 2012
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- 11
Hello I am curious about being a sub, can you help me? 
hillseeker
Literotica Guru
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- Jan 27, 2012
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Curiousity has messed up many kats....
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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For someone who calls herself "Chatty" Cathy, you're remarkably UNchatty about your interests or inquiries.Hello I am curious about being a sub, can you help me?
Do you want to *be* a sub(missive), learn what being submissive means and entails, or what?
Can we help you ... what? Should we come down to St. Louis and start giving you commands, e.g., "Take off your clothes, bend over the bed and spread your cheeks," "Bend over the table there and lift your skirt and drop your panties so I can cane your ass bloody," or what?
Just as being or having partner in a relationship requires communication, so too does a request/inquiry such as yours.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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And incidentally, flooding (even a small flood such as two nearly identical threads) a forum is kind of foolish, and reduces your chances of getting the information you appear to be seeking.
Again, however, I must note that a ten-word post that provides no substantive information seems to refute your name...
Again, however, I must note that a ten-word post that provides no substantive information seems to refute your name...
HottieMama
Notta Domme
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- Mar 16, 2007
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- 6,066
Girl, you live in St. Louis. I can name 5-6 real time kink groups in the STL area. I have been to them and know the leader of one very well. These would be great places to start learning...
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
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- 11,416
I wouldn't be too hard on her, with this. She might have no idea that these groups exist. She might have no idea that munches exist and by starting this thread, she's saying she knows very little about being a submissive.
But, HottieMama is quite correct. St. Louis is a pretty good place to be into BDSM. I live in Kansas City. I think St. Louis BDSMers are better informed with groups than those of us in Kansas City. If you were to Google the phrase "beat me in St. Louis" and you'd be taken to several links about that yearly event. Yes, disregard the links that include the Cardinal ball team.
The local group StL3, Inc. (formerly known as St. Louis Leather and Lace) has held the event for many years. While I've never been able to attend, I know people here in Kansas City who have taken the trip...some of them, caravan style.
This year's event is coming up soon. Being new, it might be a good idea to wait until you know more. I'm sure there will be another event, next year. Still, their web site is a place to find some good information.
If you do intend to go, it might be a good idea that you go with a friend who is NOT new to this lifestyle. This friend can help you filter through the visuals you encounter and also answer questions and help you understand what you see. It's pretty easy to feel overwhelmed when experiencing these things all at once. These kinds of events can be quite a thrill.
If you were to Google "munch groups in St. Louis" you'd see The BDSM Events Page which is a list of many states that offer munch groups. Their site says they lost their data, so for now, it might not have all of the groups it once had. Also, there's AngelFire, which is similar to the BDSM Events page, but from another source. And they haven't recently lost their data.
A munch is just a gathering of people that enjoy parts of BDSM and want to meet others who are the same. A munch is a very casual event held in a local restaurant, sometimes in one of their private room rooms. The dress code is casual, usually there is no fetish attire because of the restaurant, but it is possible to have a private entrance to a room and in that case, fetish clothing might be allowed.
But the whole thing is to have a relaxed atmosphere where people to get to meet others and get to know and understand that kinky people are just the same as vanilla people. A munch might be something to think about attending. It will give you a chance to meet new friends and those friends might also help you with the obvious questions you have.
But, be sure to stay around here and meet the regulars. We've all been having kinky fun for years and so we can answer your questions, too. It's always good to get more than one answer to your questions. Many people only give you what they've personally experienced, so unless you ask more than one person, your information will be limited. And speak up! There are no stupid questions. When you ask a question, know there are many others who will be glad you asked it, because they were too timid.
It would help if you post again, and be more specific what you know and what you don't know. It's much easier to answer someone's questions that way. It's also better when we send you someplace for information. If you are specific, we can be more specific with our informational links.
And Sir_Winston, your post was kind of hot. I don't think you meant it to be. Did you? I guess it was your description of her bending over a bed and all.
But, HottieMama is quite correct. St. Louis is a pretty good place to be into BDSM. I live in Kansas City. I think St. Louis BDSMers are better informed with groups than those of us in Kansas City. If you were to Google the phrase "beat me in St. Louis" and you'd be taken to several links about that yearly event. Yes, disregard the links that include the Cardinal ball team.
The local group StL3, Inc. (formerly known as St. Louis Leather and Lace) has held the event for many years. While I've never been able to attend, I know people here in Kansas City who have taken the trip...some of them, caravan style.
This year's event is coming up soon. Being new, it might be a good idea to wait until you know more. I'm sure there will be another event, next year. Still, their web site is a place to find some good information.
If you do intend to go, it might be a good idea that you go with a friend who is NOT new to this lifestyle. This friend can help you filter through the visuals you encounter and also answer questions and help you understand what you see. It's pretty easy to feel overwhelmed when experiencing these things all at once. These kinds of events can be quite a thrill.
If you were to Google "munch groups in St. Louis" you'd see The BDSM Events Page which is a list of many states that offer munch groups. Their site says they lost their data, so for now, it might not have all of the groups it once had. Also, there's AngelFire, which is similar to the BDSM Events page, but from another source. And they haven't recently lost their data.
A munch is just a gathering of people that enjoy parts of BDSM and want to meet others who are the same. A munch is a very casual event held in a local restaurant, sometimes in one of their private room rooms. The dress code is casual, usually there is no fetish attire because of the restaurant, but it is possible to have a private entrance to a room and in that case, fetish clothing might be allowed.
But the whole thing is to have a relaxed atmosphere where people to get to meet others and get to know and understand that kinky people are just the same as vanilla people. A munch might be something to think about attending. It will give you a chance to meet new friends and those friends might also help you with the obvious questions you have.
But, be sure to stay around here and meet the regulars. We've all been having kinky fun for years and so we can answer your questions, too. It's always good to get more than one answer to your questions. Many people only give you what they've personally experienced, so unless you ask more than one person, your information will be limited. And speak up! There are no stupid questions. When you ask a question, know there are many others who will be glad you asked it, because they were too timid.
It would help if you post again, and be more specific what you know and what you don't know. It's much easier to answer someone's questions that way. It's also better when we send you someplace for information. If you are specific, we can be more specific with our informational links.
And Sir_Winston, your post was kind of hot. I don't think you meant it to be. Did you? I guess it was your description of her bending over a bed and all.
Last edited:
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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- Jul 15, 2004
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HottieMama
Notta Domme
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2007
- Posts
- 6,066
Sir_W....you can come to Wichita and do that anytime you please...
Cathy... If you are on Fetlife, look up a group called Educate The Lou.They are a local St. Louis group focused on educating on various play styles as well as protocol, etc... The owner and founder of the group is a dear friend of mine and I recommend anything she does without question.
skysdelimit
Virgin
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2011
- Posts
- 12
i agree, Fetlife would be a great place to start learning what being a sub means.. its a great lifestyle and also a never ending journey. *huggs*
Curious_in_Cali
Terribly Human
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Posts
- 17,010
Curiosity is what brought me here too, so welcome!
I know for me at first finding the questions I really wanted answers to took a bit of time to uncover in and of themselves, so ask questions until you get the answers that stir more questions...and THEN you will certainly be on the right track to self discovery. Even if you don't like the answers, try to be open to all of the voices here as I know I have learned the most profound things from the most unexpected sources even when I was reading with gritted teeth.
That said, please know that there is pretty much no question that you could come up with that hasn't been asked before, so don't be shy to ask! Also, read back through the many many threads because there is SO much valuable info woven in there over time.
So, YES, BE CURIOUS. It is a fine state to be in, if I do say so myself
I know for me at first finding the questions I really wanted answers to took a bit of time to uncover in and of themselves, so ask questions until you get the answers that stir more questions...and THEN you will certainly be on the right track to self discovery. Even if you don't like the answers, try to be open to all of the voices here as I know I have learned the most profound things from the most unexpected sources even when I was reading with gritted teeth.
That said, please know that there is pretty much no question that you could come up with that hasn't been asked before, so don't be shy to ask! Also, read back through the many many threads because there is SO much valuable info woven in there over time.
So, YES, BE CURIOUS. It is a fine state to be in, if I do say so myself
