D/s,BDSM ettiqutte?

[1sickbastard]

There are, surpisingly no threads about what the ettiquette between Doms/Dommes.

Are there a set of written rules of conduct, an unwritten code, a set of genreal guidlines, what?

Come on peoples, let's hear what you think/know/percieve to be the 'rules'.

 

[satindesire]

There are, surpisingly no threads about what the ettiquette between Doms/Dommes.

Are there a set of written rules of conduct, an unwritten code, a set of genreal guidlines, what?

Come on peoples, let's hear what you think/know/percieve to be the 'rules'.

I think these are pretty universal, although I'm sure other people will add stuff.

Don't try to Dom/me anyone without explicit permission and don't assume a woman is submissive just because of her gender/sex.

Don't act like a colossal douchecanoe to other Dom/mes just because you are a Dom/me. It's not a dick-waving contest.

Don't assume any sub is YOUR sub, especially if they're someone else's sub.

You're not a superior human being because you consider yourself a Dom/me. Don't treat anyone as inferior to you unless they ask for that kind of behavior.

Consent is key.

 

[1sickbastard]

I think these are pretty universal, although I'm sure other people will add stuff.

Don't try to Dom/me anyone without explicit permission and don't assume a woman is submissive just because of her gender/sex.

Don't act like a colossal douchecanoe to other Dom/mes just because you are a Dom/me. It's not a dick-waving contest.

Don't assume any sub is YOUR sub, especially if they're someone else's sub.

You're not a superior human being because you consider yourself a Dom/me. Don't treat anyone as inferior to you unless they ask for that kind of behavior.

Consent is key.

Great stuff. These are things I'd already picked up on, and am glad to see I'm not alone in thinking.

Let's hear some more.
Anyone?
Everyone?

 

[Honed_Hunger]

I think these are pretty universal, although I'm sure other people will add stuff.

Don't try to Dom/me anyone without explicit permission and don't assume a woman is submissive just because of her gender/sex.

Don't act like a colossal douchecanoe to other Dom/mes just because you are a Dom/me. It's not a dick-waving contest.

Don't assume any sub is YOUR sub, especially if they're someone else's sub.

You're not a superior human being because you consider yourself a Dom/me. Don't treat anyone as inferior to you unless they ask for that kind of behavior.

Consent is key.

Good post.......

Outside of any mutually agreed upon D/s or M/s dynamic,any ''big letter type'' is just another person who needs to mind their social graces and not violate the rights of others.

Just because someone labels themselves as a Dom, Domme or Master in regards to their sexuality.........they only exist in that context with, and due too the power willingly delegated to them by their submissive or slave. Any other rights or entitlements that fall outside the bounds of society norms, are not to be expected in other venues of interaction.

 

[Stella_Omega]

A Dom must ALWAYS wear black leather jeans and a black poet's shirt, Dommes must ALWAYS wear black leather bikini and stiletto heels. Any Dominant type seen in mufti will be hauled before the Dominant Tribunal and asked to explain themselves.

In emergency situations, business suits are acceptable for both sexes.

 

[wicked woman]

Don't touch unless you have permission. If PYL and pyl are both present, permission to touch the pyl is obtained from the PYL. Touch means even a hug.

Be observant. Different people have different protocols, and if at all possible, I like to respect them. I've been in situations where a pyl was required to stand and/or be silent unless given permission by her PYL. Being observant kept me from talking to her or asking her if she wanted a seat.

Snickers at Stella's post.

 

[Avellan13]

From all I've heard from others, you all are correct. You've said it all. I'm not in a relationship now, but from observation and talking to others, everything said here is correct.

 

[switchbitch]

I find common courtesy and bloody good manners work well with BDSM like any other social situation.

 

[rosco rathbone]

A Dom must ALWAYS wear black leather jeans and a black poet's shirt, Dommes must ALWAYS wear black leather bikini and stiletto heels. Any Dominant type seen in mufti will be hauled before the Dominant Tribunal and asked to explain themselves.

In emergency situations, business suits are acceptable for both sexes.

I say Doms should always try to look like that guy on the cover of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours.

 

[knot_sweet]

I've got two cents to add;

Just because somebody is of the pyl persuasion, don't expect them to accord you as a PYL any deference. My submission was hard earned and not available for anyone else's use. No, I will not address you as Master or Sir or Mistress or whatever. Yes, I will greet you as an equal, and unless patently obvious that your pyl is under direction I will greet them as equals too. Common courtesy and politeness is all you're getting.

pyl's should not be used as weapons in a pissing contest between PYLs. Do not use us to show off how big and bad your Dom/mely skills are. If you are so insecure in your authority that you need to play the "I trained my sub better than you" game, then turn in your flogger immediately.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I say Doms should always try to look like that guy on the cover of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours.

the one in flames? Or is that some other record cover I'm thinking of?

 

[rosco rathbone]

the one in flames? Or is that some other record cover I'm thinking of?

Tall ponytailed guy in poet/puffy shirt, tight breeches

 

[waaitg]

I say Doms should always try to look like that guy on the cover of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours.

That is Mick Fleetwood aka the Fleetwood in "Fleetwood Mac".

Yet another piece of trivia stuck in my head.

W~

 

[waaitg]

the one in flames? Or is that some other record cover I'm thinking of?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumours

 

[waaitg]

I think these are pretty universal, although I'm sure other people will add stuff.

Don't try to Dom/me anyone without explicit permission and don't assume a woman is submissive just because of her gender/sex.

Don't act like a colossal douchecanoe to other Dom/mes just because you are a Dom/me. It's not a dick-waving contest.

Don't assume any sub is YOUR sub, especially if they're someone else's sub.

You're not a superior human being because you consider yourself a Dom/me. Don't treat anyone as inferior to you unless they ask for that kind of behavior.

Consent is key.

Basically variants on the "What did you learn on your first day of school?" rules:

1. When meeting someone new, be polite and respectful no matter who they are.

2. Is it yours? If not, don't touch unless you have received permission in advance from the rightful owner.

3. When in doubt or don't know what to do, ask someone who does know.

W~

 

[sdnt]

 

[HottieMama]

What happens at the play party/munch/so-and-so's house...STAYS THERE. Don't out anyone or discuss things without the permission of ALL parties involved...

 

[troubledone]

I think these are pretty universal, although I'm sure other people will add stuff.

Don't try to Dom/me anyone without explicit permission and don't assume a woman is submissive just because of her gender/sex.

Don't act like a colossal douchecanoe to other Dom/mes just because you are a Dom/me. It's not a dick-waving contest.

Don't assume any sub is YOUR sub, especially if they're someone else's sub.

You're not a superior human being because you consider yourself a Dom/me. Don't treat anyone as inferior to you unless they ask for that kind of behavior.

Consent is key.

Wow that is educative and so correct

 

[1sickbastard]

Excellent responses.


Keep it up folks!

 

[tcbyron]

I cannot at this moment think of anything more.

However one thing that I, as a slave, would never do is go up to a Dom in a public place and start chatting with them as if I were their equal. That is just me personally.

But, if uncollared, and totally enamored with one, I may attempt to approach one. But knowing my luck, even if I found the courage, I would be a complete and bumbling idiot who would scurry away in shame from not being able to put 3 words together in order.

 

[His_pet_slut]

I've got two cents to add;

Just because somebody is of the pyl persuasion, don't expect them to accord you as a PYL any deference. My submission was hard earned and not available for anyone else's use. No, I will not address you as Master or Sir or Mistress or whatever. Yes, I will greet you as an equal, and unless patently obvious that your pyl is under direction I will greet them as equals too. Common courtesy and politeness is all you're getting.

I understand your intent and to an extent agree, however I think some of the deference/respect thing is cultural/regional. Having deep southern roots and spending my life initially in the midwest and then in the mid to upper south, Yes Sir/Ma'am is as innate to me as breathing. Bless his/her heart is the ultimate put down and my usual credo is: Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, be gracious if it kills you. Perhaps one of the reasons I always address M as Master rather than Sir? If I reply "yes Sir", that is not the respect he is due.

 

[1sickbastard]

Question: What does ply or PLY mean?

 

[Stella_Omega]

PYL= Pick Your Top lavel (top, Dom/me, Master, Mistress, Daddy whatever)

pyl= pick your bottom label (bottom, sub, slave, boy, little, pup-- whatever)

 

[1sickbastard]

PYL= Pick Your Top lavel (top, Dom/me, Master, Mistress, Daddy whatever)

pyl= pick your bottom label (bottom, sub, slave, boy, little, pup-- whatever)

Muchas Gracias, Stella.