Soylent Yellow

[4est_4est_Gump]

February 19, 2012 11:51 am
Scientists prepare test-tube burger
By Clive Cookson in Vancouver

The world’s first test-tube hamburger, created in a Dutch laboratory by growing muscle fibres from bovine stem cells, will be ready to grill in October, scientists believe.

“I am planning to ask Heston Blumenthal [the celebrity chef] to cook it,” Mark Post, leader of the artificial meat project at Maastricht University in the Netherlands, told the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual meeting in Vancouver.

...

Starting with bovine stem cells, the Dutch researchers have grown muscle fibres up to 3cm long and 0.5mm thick. The fibres are tethered and exercised as they grow, like real muscles, by bending and stretching in the culture dishes. They feed on a broth of vegetable proteins and other nutrients, equivalent to the grass or grain diet of cattle.

At present the fibres are a pallid yellowish-pink colour, rather than the red of raw ground beef, because they do not contain blood, but Prof Post plans to improve their appearance.

http://www.ft.com/intl/cms/s/0/80ed190a-5aef-11e1-a2b3-00144feabdc0.html#axzz1mvCD56vr

Only question left: How do we give it that corn-fed Flavor-Flav right out of the rapper...?

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Fat cells.


And sinew.


Crunchy goodness in every bite.


Just like termites find when eating your old Chevy sitting out in the barn teepee.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

They can climb the blocks?

 

[Wat_Tyler]

They'd scale Everest for some good-tasting classic car wood.


We don't give them enough credit.


Comancheros of the insect world.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

... uh..., I shot my sister's kid for stealing the wood knob off the stick-shift...



Think I owe her an apology?

 

[Liar]

I'll say "tube steak" so nobody else have to.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I'll say "tube steak" so nobody else have to.

But they will...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqbWD9ybHcY

She wore a pearl necklace!

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Yes, you owe both of them an appy-polly-wollo-gee.


I got a girl who lives cross-town . . .


and who the fuck has pink-n-black sox anyway???

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Princess probably does...

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

What condom mints does this thing come with?

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

McDonald's...




Size does not matter!

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Onion.


Raw onion.


Lots of raw onion.


For lots of reasons.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Deep-dish Petri-oyster sides?

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Granny made one Hell of an oyster casserole side for T-giving.


That was before she went off to run the great store at the ferry in the sky.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Mind you keep the poultice damp...



Will they change to curly fries?

 

[rosco rathbone]

I wonder if veegans can eat vat grown meats.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I wonder if veegans can eat vat grown meats.

No.


Nor will they eat cloned carrots...

 

[Wat_Tyler]

I was thinking about that very poultice.


That side of bacon didn't sick around too long.


I must not have liked it much.

 

[rosco rathbone]

No.


Nor will they eat cloned carrots...

Give me the porterhouse steak, bloody rare, electrodes still attached.

 

[rosco rathbone]

...mashed potatoes, green beans and a side of nutrient fluid.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Make mine liver with fava beans...

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Garlic smashed taters, lots of salt.


Caesar salad, lots of salt and pepper.


Baked yam, lots of butter and brown sugar.


Medium rare ribeye, salt and pepper. I need the salt to increase my blood pressure to pump through all that crap I put in there to keep my heart valave from keeping me awake at night ticking.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I was thinking about that very poultice.


That side of bacon didn't sick around too long.


I must not have liked it much.

Pork cloning will be outlawed...



I will have to get back to you on Kashrut law though...

 

[rosco rathbone]

Waiter, there's a Monsanto trademark on this carrot.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Caesar salad?


You mock the pilum?



Are you threatening me? Mi llama Maizeholio!