I intended to Sire a child in a planned pregnancy. Any brood units available?

[hobbit.]

I intend to Sire a child via a planned pregnancy, it will be male, it will have blue eyes (2 of) and will be born on 22 of November 2012.

Whilst I appreciate that many of the uterus class who infest lit are not great breeding stock, would any of you care to join my boot camp for pre conception assesment?

 

[Alexandra831]

lmao.. thats funny

 

[hobbit.]

Accommodation can be provided.

 

[lovetoread]

More details needed about this boot camp.

 

[hobbit.]

More details needed about this boot camp.

unlike old mother Hubbard it isn't in a real boot. What details do you need?

 

[QueenLevitra]

PM Old Chapped Ass.

She's desperately needy and broke.

 

[neci]

oh, fuck no.

 

[hobbit.]

oh, fuck no.

It is Gods will that i procreate the species.

 

[cookiejar]

Been there, done that.

 

[hobbit.]

Been there, done that.

expeienced.. you're hired.

 

[butters]

ah, i see.

best laid plans and all that stuff



*is that a clock i hear? or just a crocodile?*

 

[hobbit.]

ah, i see.

best laid plans and all that stuff



*is that a clock i hear? or just a crocodile?*

Tis mine heart beating for thee oh wench. (you have any allergies btw? rohypnol? ket? that kind of thing)

 

[cookiejar]

expeienced.. you're hired.

I'm a brood unit!

 

[hobbit.]

I'm a brood unit!

indeed. As nature intended. Global warming shall not us divide. How are you at changing nappies/diapers?

 

[cookiejar]

indeed. As nature intended. Global warming shall not us divide. How are you at changing nappies/diapers?

I do it everyday, my baby is just turning 2. A few years ago I was looking for a stud to impregnate me ... found him, did it , got her.

 

[butters]

Tis mine heart beating for thee oh wench. (you have any allergies btw? rohypnol? ket? that kind of thing)

no crocodile tears from you, knave. besides, my brood days are behind me, thank heavens!

allergies? not that i know of - ooh, are they like ... party favours?

 

[hobbit.]

no crocodile tears from you, knave. besides, my brood days are behind me, thank heavens!

allergies? not that i know of - ooh, are they like ... party favours?

During a house clearance job yesterday i realised that a lot of lower middle class people spend a fortune on granite worktops for the kitchen but very litle on home security systems / locks etc compared to the price they pay for OLED TV's etc.

It then struck me that it would be cost effective to construct a granite altar in an industrial unit somewhere and act out my Inca priest / slave girl sacrifice scene...

you up for that one if I humour your para military scene?

 

[butters]

During a house clearance job yesterday i realised that a lot of lower middle class people spend a fortune on granite worktops for the kitchen but very litle on home security systems / locks etc compared to the price they pay for OLED TV's etc.

It then struck me that it would be cost effective to construct a granite altar in an industrial unit somewhere and act out my Inca priest / slave girl sacrifice scene...

you up for that one if I humour your para military scene?

will you warm the granite first?

 

[hobbit.]

will you warm the granite first?

In a word.. NO!

it's all part of the scene, the candle light reflecting off the highly polished, yet cold surface.. the perspiration from the victims, er, sorry, volunteers, nervous skin against the cold stone transmits the cold... the breath misting in the air (we could use a cold storage unit, replicate the high Andes) the priests gather in the darkness... voices murmer... suddenly the clip clop of cloven hooves (its the sound effects guy with two coconut shells) as the high priest arrives, is he riding an ass or does he have satans feet? the air chills.....

works for me.

(i've discarded your soldier thing.. you 'orrible little uterus wearer you! what are you...! " )

 

[butters]

In a word.. NO!

it's all part of the scene, the candle light reflecting off the highly polished, yet cold surface.. the perspiration from the victims, er, sorry, volunteers, nervous skin against the cold stone transmits the cold... the breath misting in the air (we could use a cold storage unit, replicate the high Andes) the priests gather in the darkness... voices murmer... suddenly the clip clop of cloven hooves (its the sound effects guy with two coconut shells) as the high priest arrives, is he riding an ass or does he have satans feet? the air chills.....

works for me.

(i've discarded your soldier thing.. you 'orrible little uterus wearer you! what are you...! " )

so i'd be shivering and giggling at the hamminess of it all?
sorry, but the cold thing's a deal-breaker, though i do appreciate the amount of thought you've put into trying to get some use out of the tea-leafed granite worksurface *nods*

"what are you? what are you?" (and that's as close to a footie chant as i'll ever be gettin')

"i am an 'orrible little uterus wearer, sarge!"

hmmn - *whispers: it's not exactly working....*

 

[hobbit.]

so i'd be shivering and giggling at the hamminess of it all?
sorry, but the cold thing's a deal-breaker, though i do appreciate the amount of thought you've put into trying to get some use out of the tea-leafed granite worksurface *nods*

"what are you? what are you?" (and that's as close to a footie chant as i'll ever be gettin')

"i am an 'orrible little uterus wearer, sarge!"

hmmn - *whispers: it's not exactly working....*

Stove pipe hat, black cape, some train tracks... that do owt fer the lass?

 

[butters]

Stove pipe hat, black cape, some train tracks... that do owt fer the lass?

you've been nicking the tracks?
i thought the cables were bad enough but this takes the flamin' biscuit.


time to go dish up dinner - beef stew

 

[hobbit.]

you've been nicking the tracks?
i thought the cables were bad enough but this takes the flamin' biscuit.


time to go dish up dinner - beef stew

good luck, watch out for bones.

 

[trysail]

I intend to Sire a child via a planned pregnancy, it will be male, it will have blue eyes (2 of) and will be born on 22 of November 2012.

Whilst I appreciate that many of the uterus class who infest lit are not great breeding stock, would any of you care to join my boot camp for pre conception assesment?

If you're insistent on that 22 November, 2012 target, may I humbly suggest that you consider a substantial increase in your advert budget; the problem is that you're rapidly running short of time.