REALLY Weird Thoughts I Have

[emipet]

My Partner and I were chatting with some friends recently and the discussion turned to weird ideas. I let out that I have a weird feeling all the letters and stuff I type in e-mails/IMs and game chats that due to whatever miscue on my or the computer's part go winging around the internet and will, with ALL the other stuff put out by everyone else will settle into a certain area and maybe form an intelligence.

Everyone looked at me real funny and Erika even went into the kitchen and made a hat of aluminum foil and put it on my head, at which point everyone giggled.

But I don't say it worries me exactly, but I think about that alot. (And NO, I do not wear the foil hat either, except that one time.)

Am I strange? Are all the other weird thoughts I have a sign of insanity or me being right stupid? Granted I think weird things a bit more than is perhaps normal.

Some examples:

-What would happen if I lost the ability to speak. How would I get across a point I needed to make?

-Could we take the fat from liposuction and make biofuel from it? Would this be like cannibalism?

-Why do aliens (from outerspace) kidnap people and put stuff up their butts? (I actually got this idea from a comidian)

-I think I know why vortexes in the toilet and sink are spinning differently in the Southern Hemisphere from those in the Northern Hemisphere. They aren't. We're seeing the 'other' end so to speak of a REALLY long tube. The person at 'this' end sees it clockwise, the other end looks 'counterclockwise' BECAUSE it is upside down!

-What if cats and dogs had thumbs? (And further along, what if apes could speak? O.O)

-What does a penis feel like (Or for a guy- What do boobs feel like) as a part of my body?

-Being a Mother of 3 young kids, I realized suddenly they are really smart. I mean a baby just born does 3 or 4 things, cry, suckle, poop, and pee. By a year old that same baby is babbling and saying words, understands things I say to her, walk, run, laugh, etc. Isn't this the most any person really learns in such a short amount of time?

-How come a product, say bread, is made with the same ingredients, prepared the same way, cost more now? Wasn't mass production supposed to decrease the costs of things?

-Why is sugar considered a "wet" product in cooking?

-Why does something cooked on a cast iron pan taste better than the same thing cooked on non-stick pans?

Sorry to bore or freak You all out.

 

[TE999]

emipet, you ask a lotta questions. I'll see if I can figger some answers and get back to you.

 

[Obzezzion]

Could we take the fat from liposuction and make biofuel from it? Would this be like cannibalism?

Why do aliens (from outerspace) kidnap people and put stuff up their butts? (I actually got this idea from a comidian)

Why does something cooked on a cast iron pan taste better than the same thing cooked on non-stick pans?

The biofuel idea is actually a good one. o_o Oddly, I've thought of the same thing before...

ETs (extraterrestrials) are obsessed with Lit. That's all there is to it.

As for frying pans, I actually have a good answer for this one. Non-stick pans are coated with a surface material that prevents most of your food from sticking to it; however, kind of like licking sauce off of a fork, any food that touches it retains some of the taste of that material. Cast-iron frying pans don't have this problem as they're straight-up iron. The heat is a major factor in this; heat is energy and carries some of the flavor from the non-stick material with it, decreasing the quality of your food. At least, that's the way I understand it...

 

[jomar]

Interesting!

Texting would take care of the talking thing.

 

[Handley_Page]

Some examples:

-What would happen if I lost the ability to speak. How would I get across a point I needed to make?

Use your keyboard or learn Morse code come to mind.

-Could we take the fat from liposuction and make biofuel from it? Would this be like cannibalism?

We could, if the fat's the right sort, I guess (I'm not a chemist).
No it would not be like cannibalism (IMO)

-Why do aliens (from outerspace) kidnap people and put stuff up their butts? (I actually got this idea from a comidian)

What aliens?. They are merely the frantic ramblings of a puzzled mind.
(I'll change my mind when they land in Trafalgar Square and demand to meet our Leader).

-I think I know why vortexes in the toilet and sink are spinning differently in the Southern Hemisphere from those in the Northern Hemisphere. They aren't. We're seeing the 'other' end so to speak of a REALLY long tube. The person at 'this' end sees it clockwise, the other end looks 'counterclockwise' BECAUSE it is upside down!

Coriolis Effect, I think


-What if cats and dogs had thumbs? (And further along, what if apes could speak? O.O)

Thank God they haven't.

-What does a penis feel like (Or for a guy- What do boobs feel like) as a part of my body?

I frankly don't care; God (Nature/ whatever) made me as I am. I'm happy with that.

-Being a Mother of 3 young kids, I realized suddenly they are really smart. I mean a baby just born does 3 or 4 things,
cry, suckle, poop, and pee.
By a year old that same baby is babbling and saying words, understands things I say to her, walk, run, laugh, etc.
Isn't this the most any person really learns in such a short amount of time?

These are normal body reactions, nothing to do with the growth of the Intelligence. A year or so later, it's different story.


-How come a product, say bread, is made with the same ingredients, prepared the same way, cost more now? Wasn't mass production supposed to decrease the costs of things?

That's the Bean-counters and the profit-motive for you.

-Why is sugar considered a "wet" product in cooking?

-Why does something cooked on a cast iron pan taste better than the same thing cooked on non-stick pans?

[ I don't know; I don't cook, unless frying an egg or something. Everything else goes in the Microwave oven ]

Sorry to bore or freak You all out.

 

[kimbalee]

not a cooking expert here by any means... but I have some thoughts on the last questions:

when baking and mixing the "wet" ingredients I have noticed that sugar sort of "melts" into the other wet ingredients, when other seemingly "dry" ingredients like flour just sit on top of it or clump up. it is easy to mix the sugar with say, eggs or softened butter because when it dissolves it is incorporated throughout the other parts evenly and easlily. also, sugar doesn't fly around like a cloud of dust when you turn on the electric mixer so it's easy to "cream" the sugar, butter, eggs, vanilla, etc. flour? not so much.

cast iron pans are "seasoned" with yummy natural fats that give the food more flavor than the other pans because you only get chemicals from the non stick surfaces. they last way longer as well, and you can go from stove top to oven in like 2 seconds. cast iron is just better all around.

well... I probably didn't answer the questions completely and may have even caused a few more, but thanks for giving me something to think about there.

as for the alien probing thing... I think you are on your own with that one.

 

[mynameisben]

-What would happen if I lost the ability to speak. How would I get across a point I needed to make?

It depends on how complex the point is you're trying to make. If you want to get across that you're pissed off at someone, you can raise a single finger. You can express either disdain or interest by raising an eyebrow. My dog can make his point that he's not getting enough walks by raising a leg.

For more complex stuff, you could just write it down.

-Could we take the fat from liposuction and make biofuel from it? Would this be like cannibalism?

Fat combusts, so yes. If all you do is burn it, then it's nothing like cannibalism. If you eat someone else's fat, that's when you've entered a gray area.

-Why do aliens (from outerspace) kidnap people and put stuff up their butts? (I actually got this idea from a comidian)

You must be thinking of the Buttilions from Butt Planet #2. They do everything ass backwards.

-I think I know why vortexes in the toilet and sink are spinning differently in the Southern Hemisphere from those in the Northern Hemisphere. They aren't. We're seeing the 'other' end so to speak of a REALLY long tube. The person at 'this' end sees it clockwise, the other end looks 'counterclockwise' BECAUSE it is upside down!

Your 'long tub' hypothesis is not correct. The coriolis effect has no detectable influence on the rotational direction of toilet and sink drains, either, despite widespread belief to the contrary. Toilets drain vortexes in the southern hemisphere turn counter to those in the norther hemisphere because the plumbing for the southern hemisphere was contracted out to illegal aliens. Specifically, to the Buttilions of Butt Planet #2, who do everything ass backwards.

-What if cats and dogs had thumbs? (And further along, what if apes could speak? O.O)

Then they would be a different species.

-What does a penis feel like (Or for a guy- What do boobs feel like) as a part of my body?

I can only speak for myself when I say this. A penis feels exactly like a super-massive orgasm in search of a place to happen. All the time. All the time.

-Being a Mother of 3 young kids, I realized suddenly they are really smart. I mean a baby just born does 3 or 4 things, cry, suckle, poop, and pee. By a year old that same baby is babbling and saying words, understands things I say to her, walk, run, laugh, etc. Isn't this the most any person really learns in such a short amount of time?

Infants are far, far smarter than we will ever know. They suck on boobs every day, have at least one adult slave cater to their every whim, and not a damn one of them pays a dime in taxes.

-How come a product, say bread, is made with the same ingredients, prepared the same way, cost more now? Wasn't mass production supposed to decrease the costs of things?

Mass production only decreases the cost of manufactured goods, particularly to goods that are the result of new technologies.

-Why is sugar considered a "wet" product in cooking?

Because girls are sugar and spice and everything nice. And everything nice is naughty, and naughty girls are wet.

-Why does something cooked on a cast iron pan taste better than the same thing cooked on non-stick pans?

Cast iron pans are "seasoned" with time. Nonstick pans, not so much. Seasoning of a cast iron pan happens when the flavor of all that other good stuff you cooked on the pan before seeps its way into the iron surface, and imparts some of that goodness to your next cooked meal.

Also, a cast iron pan better distributes heat, making for a more evenly cooked entree.

Sorry to bore or freak You all out.

Not to worry. This is what I do. Please excuse me, now. I am needed back on Butt Planet #2.

 

[nicecthulhu]

no you're not weird

Emipet, you are not strange for thinking weird thoughts. Weird thoughts are inventive. Weird thoughts are what sets one person apart from everyone else. Weird thoughts are artistic. Weird thoughts are the beginnings of new science and new discoveries. Doing weird things can get you locked up in the funny farm, but asking weird questions can get you and/or others thinking.
Consider children. They have weird thoughts all of the time, because they aren't locked into their cozy little world that keeps them working so they can buy food and diversions. Kids explore. Sit an average kid and an average adult in front of a computer they've never seen before. I bet you the kid figures stuff out, while the adult gets nowhere.

Okay, I'm not a genius, but let me see how many of your questions I can answer (or pretend that I have the correct answer).

Losing the ability to speak? Ever had laryngitis? You write notes, make hand gestures and get frustrated every time some %$%^#(! asks you what happened to your voice and walks away giggling.

Why do aliens kidnap people and stuff things up their butts? Ever see Kids In The Hall? It was a Canadian comedy. I think they said that aliens were checking to see if it really was 10% of the population that enjoyed it. Mynameis ben might be correct.

What if apes could speak? Watch Planet of the Apes. The real one, with Chuck Heston and Roddy McDowell.

What does a penis feel like? Most of the time, it's just there. Sometimes it's doing fantastic.
What do boobs feel like? They feel pretty damn good. Oh, you mean if I had them...

Babies. Fact #1, your kids will be smarter than you are. Fact #2, you share fact #1 with every other parent on the planet. Fact #3, a baby starts from a blank slate and basically has lots of space to learn things. Toddlers learn super fast. Teens are lazy unless they're enjoying themselves. Adults, well reread the bit about computers near the top. We know so much that we are not prepared to unlearn the bad stuff so we can learn more good stuff.

Mass production did decrease the cost of things. Think of what a loaf of bread cost you before mass production and not just in dollars and cents. If you were lucky, you had something to trade to the guy with the bag of flour. If you weren't lucky then you had to farm the stuff yourself and grind it yourself, etc. Try making bread without a breadmaker, in a stone oven, without any ingredients you can only get because of mass production. You'd probably have water, salt, yeast, maybe you managed to get sugar from honey (watch out for the bees) or maple syrup. You likely had a good stone or brick oven in the backyard, are you making this bread in summer or winter? You're still hungry in the winter. Once it's made, how do you keep the bread fresh? If you eat it fast, you have to go and make more right away!
Things have become more expensive since mass production was introduced because there are more of us and we all want that delicious bread you're selling.

Now, I've got one for you although it's quite philosophical.

Some people believe that God gave us a soul and our soul controls our physical body. Some people believe there is no God and that the universe is bereft of a guiding spirit or whatever religious people want to call it.
Now if you're an atheist, like me, how do we move? How is it that we can decide to reach out a grab something and then our body physically does that? Essentially, is there such a thing as sentience? If you believe everything is just atoms knocking around an photons zipping form here to there, what is thought or life?
Now if you're religious, like my wife, how is it that we can exert our will to move matter in our own bodies (electrical impulses to induce muscles to stretch and bend), but we are not able to move other matter with a mere thought as well? At some microscopic level, thought becomes energy, but how?

See, emipet, no matter how boring or freaky you think you're being, there's always some fool willing to take it to a new level...

 

[Cruel2BKind]

If corn oil is made of corn...

And olive oil is made from olives...

Then what is baby oil made from?

 

[mynameisben]

If corn oil is made of corn...

And olive oil is made from olives...

Then what is baby oil made from?

According to the Johnson's Baby Oil web site, Baby Oil is simply mineral oil with added fragrance.

 

[emipet]

Emipet, you are not strange for thinking weird thoughts. Weird thoughts are inventive. Weird thoughts are what sets one person apart from everyone else. Weird thoughts are artistic. Weird thoughts are the beginnings of new science and new discoveries. Doing weird things can get you locked up in the funny farm, but asking weird questions can get you and/or others thinking.
Consider children. They have weird thoughts all of the time, because they aren't locked into their cozy little world that keeps them working so they can buy food and diversions. Kids explore. Sit an average kid and an average adult in front of a computer they've never seen before. I bet you the kid figures stuff out, while the adult gets nowhere.

Okay, I'm not a genius, but let me see how many of your questions I can answer (or pretend that I have the correct answer).

Losing the ability to speak? Ever had laryngitis? You write notes, make hand gestures and get frustrated every time some %$%^#(! asks you what happened to your voice and walks away giggling.

Why do aliens kidnap people and stuff things up their butts? Ever see Kids In The Hall? It was a Canadian comedy. I think they said that aliens were checking to see if it really was 10% of the population that enjoyed it. Mynameis ben might be correct.

What if apes could speak? Watch Planet of the Apes. The real one, with Chuck Heston and Roddy McDowell.

What does a penis feel like? Most of the time, it's just there. Sometimes it's doing fantastic.
What do boobs feel like? They feel pretty damn good. Oh, you mean if I had them...

Babies. Fact #1, your kids will be smarter than you are. Fact #2, you share fact #1 with every other parent on the planet. Fact #3, a baby starts from a blank slate and basically has lots of space to learn things. Toddlers learn super fast. Teens are lazy unless they're enjoying themselves. Adults, well reread the bit about computers near the top. We know so much that we are not prepared to unlearn the bad stuff so we can learn more good stuff.

Mass production did decrease the cost of things. Think of what a loaf of bread cost you before mass production and not just in dollars and cents. If you were lucky, you had something to trade to the guy with the bag of flour. If you weren't lucky then you had to farm the stuff yourself and grind it yourself, etc. Try making bread without a breadmaker, in a stone oven, without any ingredients you can only get because of mass production. You'd probably have water, salt, yeast, maybe you managed to get sugar from honey (watch out for the bees) or maple syrup. You likely had a good stone or brick oven in the backyard, are you making this bread in summer or winter? You're still hungry in the winter. Once it's made, how do you keep the bread fresh? If you eat it fast, you have to go and make more right away!
Things have become more expensive since mass production was introduced because there are more of us and we all want that delicious bread you're selling.

Now, I've got one for you although it's quite philosophical.

Some people believe that God gave us a soul and our soul controls our physical body. Some people believe there is no God and that the universe is bereft of a guiding spirit or whatever religious people want to call it.
Now if you're an atheist, like me, how do we move? How is it that we can decide to reach out a grab something and then our body physically does that? Essentially, is there such a thing as sentience? If you believe everything is just atoms knocking around an photons zipping form here to there, what is thought or life?
Now if you're religious, like my wife, how is it that we can exert our will to move matter in our own bodies (electrical impulses to induce muscles to stretch and bend), but we are not able to move other matter with a mere thought as well? At some microscopic level, thought becomes energy, but how?

See, emipet, no matter how boring or freaky you think you're being, there's always some fool willing to take it to a new level...

Thank You for the words of encouragement.

On the question of God or not God, I believe but I have no concrete evidence to support that belief, except this: I held (and hold) my babies. I do not care about anything at that moment but the child. If my daughter smiles at me my heart leaps (to sound cliche) with joy and happiness. I am not complex, nor real smart and I have done massively stupid things on the spur of the moment, I will always regret. But I will always love my babies and thank the God I believe in that He gave them to me.

I don't know if God is a He or She. My personal belief is I am a small human and can only see a teeny tiny bit of the totality of God. Everyone else is this way too and those that see close to what I see are of a particular religion. I get a lot of discussions with my Partner's rabbi about this. (I am studying to convert to Jewish.)

Thank you everyone else. I was actually quite interested in many of the answers, and amused by the funny ones.

-emi

 

[Handley_Page]

Thank You for the words of encouragement.

On the question of God or not God, I believe but I have no concrete evidence to support that belief, except this: I held (and hold) my babies. I do not care about anything at that moment but the child. If my daughter smiles at me my heart leaps (to sound cliche) with joy and happiness. I am not complex, nor real smart and I have done massively stupid things on the spur of the moment, I will always regret. But I will always love my babies and thank the God I believe in that He gave them to me.

I don't know if God is a He or She. My personal belief is I am a small human and can only see a teeny tiny bit of the totality of God. Everyone else is this way too and those that see close to what I see are of a particular religion. I get a lot of discussions with my Partner's rabbi about this. (I am studying to convert to Jewish.)

Thank you everyone else. I was actually quite interested in many of the answers, and amused by the funny ones.
-emi

I discovered God by accident. "I shall fear no pin, for I walk in the footsteps of my God" carved itself the inside of my skull one Friday night.
It works for me; anything else I'll leave alone.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The cast-iron pan thing is a matter of temperature, not seasoning. Cast iron can take more heat than non-stick (the teflon would begin to break down and evaporate at hot cast-iron temperatures) and so is faster and more efficient at browning and carmelizing the surface of meats than non-stick. Think of cooking a steak on a hot-plate versus on a charcoal grill and you'll get the idea.

BTW, not everything tastes better in cast iron by any means. Fried eggs are better in Teflon. They tend to scorch in cast iron. And anything acidic cooked in cast iron, like spaghetti sauce or lemon chicken, will dissolve a lot of iron no matter how well-seasoned the pan is, and will have a noticeable off taste. Aluminum's even worse in that regard.

Re bread: The largest share of food production now comprises marketing, packaging, and especially transportation. Every time the price of gas goes up, the price of food goes up. The latest rise over last summer was all due to the price of crude oil jumping.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Cast iron skillets are seasoned by the oil used for cooking in them. That's why you shouldn't wash them in diswashing liquid or any other oil solvent; it dissolves the oil and leaves you with a sticky surface that oxidizes (and then you get all the iron you need from scraping the food bits off the skillet surface).

ETs, as we know them, seem mostly to be projections of our own fears and fantasies. That's why so many of the bad bad ones appear reptilian. Maybe that's why they want to probe people's asses. My advice if you're worried about them: stuff a dozen long-stemmed roses up your ass and attach a card that says "We welcome you in peace," or whatever homily suits you.

Now, gods. That's a different story. Maybe not so different, though. My 45 years of study in comparative religion and mythology has left me with one general conclusion, an inversion, in fact, of what I was taught in elementary school catechism: Man makes god in his own image and likeness, to glorify the way he thinks the world should be. And you can quote me on that.