A Tail of Two Dachshunds: Wagging jealousy...

4est_4est_Gump

Run Forrest! RUN!
Joined
Sep 19, 2011
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The Queen's long-haired dachshund is fairly well neglected by all, the Queen is constantly busy, especially when at "rest," Princess resents the hell out of having to feed and water her while I refuse to personalize pets as valuable family members; if they don't hunt, they have no value to me other than to harass each and every visitor as if it were the first time they had ever encountered them.

The short-haired mini-dachs of my Princess is a pampered spoiled little caricature of her owner who buys it special beds, treats and coats for inclement weather. It rules the roost a lot like Master-Blaster ruled Thunder Dome and when it comes to its treats, rawhides and bones it is a green-eyed two-headed version of Cerberus. If the Queen's pooch has a prize, Princess and the beady-eyed rat confiscate it. The Queen's dog then lies in wait for a weak moment in which to rush in and seize her rightful booty. The last bone of contention was a rawhide that each was bound and determined to hide somewhere in the house from the other, but while they see poorly, wiener dogs have a keen sense of smell and hiding it was nothing more than a continual Mission Impossible rerun.

Saturday, the Queen and Princess departed for their weekly shopping excursion with the hell hound in tow and the forgotten dog racing alongside the car in a vain attempt at, "Me too!" Soon the trio was gone, but like an arrow loosed upon an orc by an elf, the hairy noodle streaked for the back door and yelped, "Let me in!"

I had no more than opened and closed the door when she was back with rawhide in mouth demanding to be let out. In triumph she carried out that well-chewed treasure, disappeared over the hill and returned with great pride in about five minutes sans rawhide.

Despite all the consternation and commotion from the lower household nobility later that evening, I kept the little big dog's secret and she lay happily at my feet all evening watching the little yapper rush to and fro frantically searching for that which was long gone content at having had the last bark.
 
Did she Teeboo in her excitement at having conquered?


I got a friend of mine, who often has several cords of sticks up his ass, to Teeboo on Saturday morning. He got down on his knee with very little prodding and gave a faithful rendition.


I think that even Jeebus was proud of him.


My best wishes to your fellow teepee dwellers, too. The cats say "oh hai."
 
We're all doing the Elbow now!




For one week only. I seriously doubt if Flaccbowing ever catches on. :nods:

Sounds like a bodily function...
 
You should inquire as to whether or not she dug up any racist rocks . . .



and then give her a:



*spit*



since it seems she's ridin' with ya and has nowhere else to go.
 
Right.


I may install a bird feeder after all.


The House-dwelling Predators will go bonkers when they see it.
 
It will save you cat food.



Toto used to hunt at the bird feeder. He was a leaper; snagged them right out of the air.

Dachshunds don't "leap..."


~pity~


Like teaching a hamster to yell row, it took forever just to impart to them the idea of up, ☝, the squirrel disappeared up, so stop fucking digging to China!
 
An ex of mine had a rescue, a huge black cat, which had be de-clawwed. It didn't stop his hunting birds - he just grabbed them.


It's what they do.


Improvise, adapt, overcome . . . .
 
Funny.



Our neighbors stopped coming to our place to look for their lost cats...

Of course, the deer find it not only a place of safe haven, but one of great mirth as they watch Dachshunds Attack!
 
Deer have no sense of humo(u)r.


They're not too bright.


Except when spotlighted.
 
If you happen to run short of .30-'06 or .308, let me know.


I scarfed up loads of surplus by the case when the scarfing was cheap.


And lots of it is reloadable, too.
 
If you happen to run short of .30-'06 or .308, let me know.


I scarfed up loads of surplus by the case when the scarfing was cheap.


And lots of it is reloadable, too.

I could win the Battle of the Alamo with all this ammo.


Thanks anyway...


;) ;)
 
Great story! All except the part about how the poor dog isn't considered part of the family. :( Especially if one dog is and the other is treated as being less than family.

Our pooch loves to try to bury her treats/chew toys in our house and is funny to watch when she has one in her mouth and she is searching for a place to put it. Usually, that ends up being the couch cushions. When she is with her cousin, the beagle, they are much like your two pooches. Doesn't matter if you give them both a chew toy, they always want the SAME ONE. Beagles are LOUD when they are unhappy.
 
So your child is learning that older and weaker household members who aren't as productive should be ignored and/or forgotten.

I've gotta admit, I figured you for a "words, not deeds" type. I guess I was wrong.
 
You should teach the Queen's dog to react when she hears the car keys jingle...or hears the word 'car'...or 'go'. It would be amusing.
 
Great story! All except the part about how the poor dog isn't considered part of the family. :( Especially if one dog is and the other is treated as being less than family.

Our pooch loves to try to bury her treats/chew toys in our house and is funny to watch when she has one in her mouth and she is searching for a place to put it. Usually, that ends up being the couch cushions. When she is with her cousin, the beagle, they are much like your two pooches. Doesn't matter if you give them both a chew toy, they always want the SAME ONE. Beagles are LOUD when they are unhappy.

I treat both dogs the same as does the Queen.



;) ;)

That's the same thing here, matching chew toys, bones, whatever, they both eventually decide one is better than the other. They're like people that way...
 
So your child is learning that older and weaker household members who aren't as productive should be ignored and/or forgotten.

I've gotta admit, I figured you for a "words, not deeds" type. I guess I was wrong.

You have a whole thread to spread your lies about how people posted your son's picture.


You have no deeds, so you manufacture words.



Sad, little pathetic hurt little boy...
 
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