Getting Friendly w/ the Neighbor's Dog

[3113]

Just when trailer parks were making inroads against their usual stereotype, this gent (who looks like he came from central casting for this role--check out the pic in the full story) comes along and commits an unneighborly "crime against" nature with said neighbor's dog:

...according to the Cumberland County Sheriff’s Office, a man has been arrested and charged with allegedly having sex with his neighbor’s dog. In a statement from Sheriff Earl “Moose” Butler, detectives have charged a Cumberland County man with felony crime against nature involving a dog.

“An investigation into the allegations against 33-year old Ray Lynn Mitcham, Jr. of Rusty Road began on January 2, 2012,” said the Sheriff’s Office. “The dog’s owner, who is also Mitcham’s next door neighbor, says she went to speak to the suspect. When she opened the door to his mobile home, she witnessed the crime in progress.”

Full story here.
Even the Sheriff's name is stereotypical. If I wrote this up (not here, obviously, but maybe for a movie), I'd be called cliché.

Beyond wondering why real life can't be more original, I'm also wondering the following: First, why the neighbor's dog? Why not just get his own dog? Second, how do you create and enforce a law against "crimes against nature"? And if there is such a law, shouldn't it include environmental abuses? Like polluting a river or cutting down a tree? Why is a neighbor's dog considered "nature" any way? And finally, why doesn't anyone lock their doors when they're engage in "crimes against nature"?

 

[TxRad]

Will the dog be called as a witness for the state or the defense?

 

[mynameisben]

Just when trailer parks were making inroads against their usual stereotype, this gent (who looks like he came from central casting for this role--check out the pic in the full story) comes along and commits an unneighborly "crime against" nature with said neighbor's dog:

Full story here.
Even the Sheriff's name is stereotypical. If I wrote this up (not here, obviously, but maybe for a movie), I'd be called cliché.

Beyond wondering why real life can't be more original, I'm also wondering the following: First, why the neighbor's dog? Why not just get his own dog? Second, how do you create and enforce a law against "crimes against nature"? And if there is such a law, shouldn't it include environmental abuses? Like polluting a river or cutting down a tree? Why is a neighbor's dog considered "nature" any way? And finally, why doesn't anyone lock their doors when they're engage in "crimes against nature"?

And why is it okay for the neighbor lady to open his trailer door without knocking first?

I would have named him Buford and her Nadine. And the dog Pringles.

 

[JackLuis]

http://raleightelegram.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/suspect32.jpg

He had a rough childhood and none of the girls would have anything to do with a warehouseman, unemployed.

Besides the bitch had it coming.

 

[sr71plt]

Besides the bitch had it coming.

And going too, probably.

 

[lovecraft68]

If you add a second head to the dog, someone can write the story about it here.

 

[lance gt]

I wonder. If the dog is over 18, can't he say it was consensual? I say, let it go to court and have him do it to the dog right there. If the dog turns and bites his balls off, case closed. If it looks like she's enjoying it, give them a wedding licence and wish them a happy life together.

 

[3113]

Besides the bitch had it coming.[/QUOTE] Are we sure the dog's a bitch? :confused:

 

[JackLuis]

Are we sure the dog's a bitch?

Says so in the article you posted.

Besides if it were male it would be homosexual bestiality! A double header!

 

[sr71plt]

Besides if it were male it would be homosexual bestiality! A double header!

Nonono. As Lovecraft has pointed out, if the dog was a double header, it would just be nonhuman and would be acceptable.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Are we sure the dog's a bitch?

Well, of course the dog is a female. What do you think he is, some kind of queer?

 

[TxRad]

Well, of course the dog is a female. What do you think he is, some kind of queer?

Only from you Box, only from you.

 

[3113]

Says so in the article you posted.

I didn't read that far. There was only so long I could look at that guy's face. I suppose the dog felt the same was probably happy he was going at it doggy-style.