how important is it to you to feel special?

[blunt_trauma]

can you potter along through a relationship, not feeling like their priority, because being with them is always better than not being with them?
or would you rather lose them entirely than settle for just being there in their life?

 

[Super-Surprise]

http://video.ca.msn.com/watch/video/puppy-tries-eating-cat/1glm3272z?from=en-ca-infopane

 

[renard_ruse]

You're asking a serious relationship question on the GB???

 

[prettykitty78]

oh man I can definately post on this one... i would if I could afford to leave my relationship now.. I am not his priority, he doesnt put in as much effort, and he is always being selfish. i put a lot of time and effort into making him feel specail in hopes of return but all I get is him saying im not good enough either I cant keep up on the house (while working 2 jobs), gained 10 lbs and when asked him why we hadnt been intimate he said not to be rude but you've gained like waayy too much weight and Im finding it very unattractive.. im 5'4" and weight 150 lbs. a little pudge but not to that extent. but yes.... because i cannot afford to be on my own I stay..if it were not for kids Id be gone.

 

[warrior queen]

can you potter along through a relationship, not feeling like their priority, because being with them is always better than not being with them?
or would you rather lose them entirely than settle for just being there in their life?

It's enough for me that I know I'm special
But seriously - there has to be something from him. If I thought for a second that I wasn't special to him (or he became one of those guys that just took me for granted) I would leave.

 

[JohnnySausage]

I have no idea what potter means.

 

[blunt_trauma]

I have no idea what potter means.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/potter+around

 

[blunt_trauma]

if it were not for kids Id be gone.

the obvious question is, does it harm the kids to see that level of disrespect as their role model for how relationships should be?

 

[warrior queen]

the obvious question is, does it harm the kids to see that level of disrespect as their role model for how relationships should be?

Yes, it is very harmful.

 

[blunt_trauma]

http://video.ca.msn.com/watch/video/puppy-tries-eating-cat/1glm3272z?from=en-ca-infopane

fucker, these clips make me happy.

 

[Modern Mephisto]

I don't need to be her top priority, provided she has things in her life that logically trump me (kids, family, career, etc.), but I do need to be a priority. Otherwise, what's the fucking point?

 

[Lorilei]

can you potter along through a relationship, not feeling like their priority, because being with them is always better than not being with them?
or would you rather lose them entirely than settle for just being there in their life?

I used to settle for just being there, but not anymore; now I have to feel special. Relationships are hard enough. Why go through all that if you're not really getting any pleasure out of it? Adore the hell out of me or GTFO.

Also, I love this AV you're using. It's gorgeous.

 

[bronzeage]

can you potter along through a relationship, not feeling like their priority, because being with them is always better than not being with them?
or would you rather lose them entirely than settle for just being there in their life?

It's a deal breaker.

 

[blunt_trauma]

I don't need to be her top priority, provided she has things in her life that logically trump me (kids, family, career, etc.), but I do need to be a priority. Otherwise, what's the fucking point?

basement hooker says you're the only kidnapper for her!

I used to settle for just being there, but not anymore; now I have to feel special. Relationships are hard enough. Why go through all that if you're not really getting any pleasure out of it? Adore the hell out of me or GTFO.

Also, I love this AV you're using. It's gorgeous.

ty

if i feel like i'm not superly duperly special to them, i start to switch off from them. eventually the connection fails completely. it's not that i resent them, because you can't control how you feel, but just that i see no point in caring beyond a friendship anymore.

i've never understood fighting to hold onto someone who is apathetic...

 

[Modern Mephisto]

basement hooker says you're the only kidnapper for her!

That's because she's important to me, and I make sure she knows it. Every day, I brush her hair and sing sweet songs to her, lovingly massage lotion on her skin, and check to be sure her shackles aren't chaffing her too badly. It's all about the little things.

 

[blunt_trauma]

That's because she's important to me, and I make sure she knows it. Every day, I brush her hair and sing sweet songs to her, lovingly massage lotion on her skin, and check to be sure her shackles aren't chaffing her too badly. It's all about the little things.

you are special.

 

[Lorilei]

basement hooker says you're the only kidnapper for her!

ty

if i feel like i'm not superly duperly special to them, i start to switch off from them. eventually the connection fails completely. it's not that i resent them, because you can't control how you feel, but just that i see no point in caring beyond a friendship anymore.

i've never understood fighting to hold onto someone who is apathetic...

Right. I can't say I've never done that, because I certainly have. That had a lot to do with low self-esteem and youth, I'm sure. And just wanting to be able to say that I was "in a relationship", like that was a great achievement. Now? I don't care about that kind of crap. If I'm in a relationship, it needs to actually make me happy. And I need to feel important for that to be the case.

 

[Wobnoid]

how important is it to you to feel special?
can you potter along through a relationship, not feeling like their priority, because being with them is always better than not being with them?
or would you rather lose them entirely than settle for just being there in their life?

Such an odd question - for being on either side of that equation can be as unsettling as the other. It is all about self-perception. Under appreciated? Over appreciated? Misunderstood? Relationships are rarely 50/50 in any obvious thing... Some partners provide some things but cannot provide others. Some only seek part of the other to 'complete' what they may feel they may need. The strength of the relationship has more to do with the fit than the division of 'labour' in it.

One can feel special in understanding how they complete the other... But that's not your question, is it?

A rich ugly guy can be a prop for a beautiful partner seeking better; obviously vice versa. Funny. Late last night, I watched Charles Laughton's Henry the 8th (from 1933). Henry sought sons in it. Sons first... love/companionship/fidelity secondly. The wives each sought very different things... the Queen's crown amongst them. There's a delicate point to the story. Rarely do people enter a relationship expecting the 50/50... or at least, they don't do so after a point soon into it.

To be in a relationship where the disparity is the issue, the future is cloudy at best. To be in one where the fit is the issue is far better. Can we complement one another? Why not give it a whirl?

( *various check boxes being frantically ticked* - *various danders being pricked* )

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

basement hooker says you're the only kidnapper for her!

ty

if i feel like i'm not superly duperly special to them, i start to switch off from them. eventually the connection fails completely. it's not that i resent them, because you can't control how you feel, but just that i see no point in caring beyond a friendship anymore.

i've never understood fighting to hold onto someone who is apathetic...

problem is where do guys draw the line with making her feel super duper special without smothering her, looking like a sappy little bitch or otherwise turning her off? Esp when every woman's definition of that line is different and none of them will tell you where that line is until it's too late......

 

[blunt_trauma]

it's a tightrope and i am shamelessly unreasonable about expecting guys to get it right.

 

[blunt_trauma]

Such an odd question - for being on either side of that equation can be as unsettling as the other. It is all about self-perception. Under appreciated? Over appreciated? Misunderstood? Relationships are rarely 50/50 in any obvious thing... Some partners provide some things but cannot provide others. Some only seek part of the other to 'complete' what they may feel they may need. The strength of the relationship has more to do with the fit than the division of 'labour' in it.

One can feel special in understanding how they complete the other... But that's not your question, is it?

A rich ugly guy can be a prop for a beautiful partner seeking better; obviously vice versa. Funny. Late last night, I watched Charles Laughton's Henry the 8th (from 1933). Henry sought sons in it. Sons first... love/companionship/fidelity secondly. The wives each sought very different things... the Queen's crown amongst them. There's a delicate point to the story. Rarely do people enter a relationship expecting the 50/50... or at least, they don't do so after a point soon into it.

To be in a relationship where the disparity is the issue, the future is cloudy at best. To be in one where the fit is the issue is far better. Can we complement one another? Why not give it a whirl?

( *various check boxes being frantically ticked* - *various danders being pricked* )

like mephisto said, it's about knowing where you stand on their list of priorities. coming second to kids is fine but coming second to football is insulting.

being too special is even more a turn off. if it reaches the point of obsession, where their every move and mood depends upon you, then that's more about the crazy and less about the real you.

so... my box... is ticking a euphemism?

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

it's a tightrope and i am shamelessly unreasonable about expecting guys to get it right.

LOL *shrugs* good luck with that.

 

[blunt_trauma]

being happy to stay single means one can afford to be unreasonable.

 

[Wobnoid]

BTW... I am amazed and can't quite fathom how you manage to do it... The new av is mesmerizing. It's retro Dorothy Lamour. Well... not this image exactly...

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3I4wiTddgDs/TtZR4u3UZ3I/AAAAAAAALyA/DEIJ31uYmmM/s1600/dorothy%2Blamour.jpg​

...More this one

http://garbolaughs.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/lamour_05.jpg​

Couldn't rightly pass on the first one...

And.... What a screen name that beautiful and funny broad chose !!!

 

[blunt_trauma]

flattery