You know you need to get laid when...

[Pandorica]

Please note: I meant to make the poll anonymous but managed to check the wrong box. So if you place a vote other users will be able to see what you voted for.

I've discovered that when I'm drunk my depravity is apparently written all over my face. A tall black guy barged into me at a bar last night and then grabbed my upper arm to keep me from falling off my heels. So there I was with adrenaline kicking into my veins from the near fall, with a tall, ripped black man towering over me and gripping my arm hard enough to make me squeal. Whatever my expression was, it was enough to make him grin evilly and steer my back to the nearest wall. Then I had to explain that I wasn't single, when all I really wanted to do was find out how big his cock was and whether it would fit in my tiny throat if enough force was applied.



Fortunately my friend rescued me before I could disgrace myself further, at which point I had to pretend that the guy had been a total asshole.

So in the same vein as the 'last thought' and 'confessional' threads ~ YNYNTGLW ________________

 

[dragonrazor]

When you spend hours staring at the derriere of your female video game characters...

 

[Cheska]

You go throught sets of Batteries on a weekly basis.

 

[Annisthyrienne]

Or you give up on batteries altogether and get a plug in model.

 

[Cheska]

Or you give up on batteries altogether and get a plug in model.

.. Maybe something from Black an Decker?

 

[Annisthyrienne]

Yeah, if it's measured in horsepower, you know you need a new hobby.








Why does this conversation bring Nina to mind?

 

[Mythil]

Or you give up on batteries altogether and get a plug in model.

Heh - some women complain about the weight of those plugins

 

[Annisthyrienne]

Heh - some women complain about the weight of those plugins

Weight nothing, I'm talking about the kind you ride on top of!

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrze51u0uu1qdkfz5o1_500.jpg

 

[dragonrazor]

Yeah, if it's measured in horsepower, you know you need a new hobby.








Why does this conversation bring Nina to mind?

Heh heh. Sybians...Whoever thought those up wanted to replace us guys.

When you look at food and see female anatomy....

 

[Annisthyrienne]

http://www.fengtastic.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/sybian-1.jpg

 

[Mythil]

Weight nothing, I'm talking about the kind you ride on top of!

Haha, I stand corrected, I was thinking too small.

 

[Fish_Tales]

YKYNTGLW ________________

You think about writing back to the "beautiful" blond Russian model with a PhD in aeronautical engineering who left a message in your spam.

*I can't believe how many smart models there are there *

 

[Perplexia]

Haha, I stand corrected, I was thinking too small.

yes yes you were

 

[Mephistophelily]

Even christmas decor reminds you of adult toys.

And you ponder using them.

 

[Mythil]

Even christmas decor reminds you of adult toys.

And you ponder using them.

Christmas decor... christmas decor... damn I can't think of anything that resembles adult toys - well other than a really big candycane that is. But I thought you were supposed keep sugar away from that area

 

[Cheska]

Christmas decor... christmas decor... damn I can't think of anything that resembles adult toys - well other than a really big candycane that is. But I thought you were supposed keep sugar away from that area

That, and mint does burn tender skin ..... do not ask me how I know this.

 

[Nightfreak]

for the ladies....

When you see power tools and wonder... Hey could put a dildo on that...and it plugs into the wall...

http://lovelifelikeyourself.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/powered-dildo.jpg

 

[Mephistophelily]

Christmas decor... christmas decor... damn I can't think of anything that resembles adult toys - well other than a really big candycane that is. But I thought you were supposed keep sugar away from that area

I have big thick fake clay ones.
And some large red beads strewn all over the tree.
And some fake candles.
And a glass santa that has a rather... Bad.... Shape.
And some snow butterflies that clip to the tree.

Just. Nothing. Cinnamon scented.
Lily would not have happytime.
Lily would have ER time.
Buuut then my dr fantasy kicks in... Mmm.

*smacks self*
Jeezus!

 

[Mythil]

I have big thick fake clay ones.
And some large red beads strewn all over the tree.
And some fake candles.
And a glass santa that has a rather... Bad.... Shape.
And some snow butterflies that clip to the tree.

Just. Nothing. Cinnamon scented.
Lily would not have happytime.
Lily would have ER time.
Buuut then my dr fantasy kicks in... Mmm.

*smacks self*
Jeezus!

LOL, I guess the holiday decorations at my house are not as... stimulating... as yours.

Yum... Christmas beads and snow butterfly clips. Goes off looking for princesss with new ideas in his head.

 

[Cheska]

for the ladies....

When you see power tools and wonder... Hey could put a dildo on that...and it plugs into the wall...

http://lovelifelikeyourself.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/powered-dildo.jpg

I saw something like this in a porno once....

 

[dragonrazor]

I saw something like this in a porno once....

I saw something far worse in a porno once. << >>

 

[Mephistophelily]

LOL, I guess the holiday decorations at my house are not as... stimulating... as yours.

Yum... Christmas beads and snow butterfly clips. Goes off looking for princesss with new ideas in his head.

Joann fabric.
$2 and 79 cents, respectively.

Probably cheaper now.

*stares at tree*
Bitch.

 

[Mythil]

I saw something like this in a porno once....

Haha - and of course the Hitachi brand is so prominantly displayed - they seem to have an affinity for things that... errr vibrate.

 

[Perplexia]

LOL, I guess the holiday decorations at my house are not as... stimulating... as yours.

Yum... Christmas beads and snow butterfly clips. Goes off looking for princesss with new ideas in his head.

Meeps and purrs Right here my knight

 

[Nina327]

Or you give up on batteries altogether and get a plug in model.

EXACTLY!

Yeah, if it's measured in horsepower, you know you need a new hobby.








Why does this conversation bring Nina to mind?

HEY.. hey .hey... .... where the fuck is my cunt beater... um..... I mean "massager".... yes.. thats what I mean...

Its not like... ya know.. when the kids found it once... they pluged it in and watched it race across the floor as they were squealing like lil monkeys or anything...

Heh - some women complain about the weight of those plugins

Fuck that... I have cripple hands... and if your fuckin horny enough, you would figure out how to hold up the statue of liberty if it got you off like a rocket!

for the ladies....

When you see power tools and wonder... Hey could put a dildo on that...and it plugs into the wall...

http://lovelifelikeyourself.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/powered-dildo.jpg

Those things are fuckin retarded! unless you can rewire it so you have the control in your hand and anchor it to the headboard. Otherwise... your fuck partner is at the other end of it.. either THEY have a cock on them or they need to have that damned cock AND them a but closer to me than half way across the fucking bedroom. ....... lest you're all tied up... and... well. yea.. then tortures are kinda the point. ... anyway. been there, broke that, tossed it out the window.


um... you know you need to get laid when... You're at a hanukka with friends of the family and picturing them all with ball gags and wondering just who would crack first.