I really, REALLY DISlike some of this time of year

[DVS]

It seems that marketing gets worse and worse with every new holiday season. I'm not talking just about the toy commercials or the other shopping commercials that are always around at this time of year. I'm talking about those commercials that tug at your heart and make you feel sad and guilty that you can't do anything about what seems to always be happening in this world. Those commercials where they show starving kids and abused animals, asking for you to send money to this charity or that one, because it takes just what a cup of coffee a day costs to help the cause.

If that's all it took to make those spots go away, I'd send them all of my extra cash, but they just use this time to milk the sympathy of the season. This time of year, some people are more emotional than normal, and so it works to the advantage of these type of commercials.

OK, I understand that, but it is so sad to see these images that I have to turn away or even change channels until the commercial is over. And I'm getting fed up with it. Why should I be the type of person that is bothered by this and why are these commercials allowed to show such sad pictures?

I don't give a shit if this makes me a bah humbug kind of guy. I don't give a shit if it makes me seem callus or insensitive to these causes. I just think they are showing them WAY too much and it makes me feel so bad that I'm getting disgusted with it.

At least I'm getting to know the music that precedes the sad pictures so I have time to change the channel before I see anything. But the sad feeling is still there, in the pit of my stomach, and I wish it would stop. It makes me wishing the season would end, just to get these damn commercials to go away. God, I hope they do go away, once the season of giving also goes away.

Fair warning...I'm not a happy camper, right now. I'm like a loaded gun and could go off at any moment. Shit's happening right now that I don't like and while it doesn't affect me directly, it does affect people I know directly. And these damn commercials are just the icing on the cake. These images are more offensive to me than violence between adults. At least people and adults know why things are happening to them. God, I hate some of the things that make up this world.

Shit, I thought I'd feel better after this post.

 

[switchbitch]

It seems that marketing gets worse and worse with every new holiday season. I'm not talking just about the toy commercials or the other shopping commercials that are always around at this time of year. I'm talking about those commercials that tug at your heart and make you feel sad and guilty that you can't do anything about what seems to always be happening in this world. Those commercials where they show starving kids and abused animals, asking for you to send money to this charity or that one, because it takes just what a cup of coffee a day costs to help the cause.

If that's all it took to make those spots go away, I'd send them all of my extra cash, but they just use this time to milk the sympathy of the season. This time of year, some people are more emotional than normal, and so it works to the advantage of these type of commercials.

OK, I understand that, but it is so sad to see these images that I have to turn away or even change channels until the commercial is over. And I'm getting fed up with it. Why should I be the type of person that is bothered by this and why are these commercials allowed to show such sad pictures?

I don't give a shit if this makes me a bah humbug kind of guy. I don't give a shit if it makes me seem callus or insensitive to these causes. I just think they are showing them WAY too much and it makes me feel so bad that I'm getting disgusted with it.

At least I'm getting to know the music that precedes the sad pictures so I have time to change the channel before I see anything. But the sad feeling is still there, in the pit of my stomach, and I wish it would stop. It makes me wishing the season would end, just to get these damn commercials to go away. God, I hope they do go away, once the season of giving also goes away.

Fair warning...I'm not a happy camper, right now. I'm like a loaded gun and could go off at any moment. Shit's happening right now that I don't like and while it doesn't affect me directly, it does affect people I know directly. And these damn commercials are just the icing on the cake. These images are more offensive to me than violence between adults. At least people and adults know why things are happening to them. God, I hate some of the things that make up this world.

Shit, I thought I'd feel better after this post.

that is a wonderful post, sorry that things arent going well for you but I am glad that you posted this now I don't have to feel quite so guilty. I agree with you wholeheartedly I think it is gross manipulation of people's emotions to do this

 

[Loverskitten]

I'm the same with the humane society commercials. I HAVE to change the channel.

But as soon as I change it I am bombarded with car commercials (do that many people give cars as gifts?) Then all the engagement commercials.... Ugh
As a single mom who has never had a new car, this time of year makes me feel inadequate.
*hides under covers until after the holidays

 

[Keroin]

As some here know, I don't "do" holidays. I gave up Xmas years ago and aaaahhhh it was like a thousand pounds being lifted from my shoulders!

Combine that with the fact that I rarely watch TV and...problem solved.

Yes those ads are designed to pull at your hearts strings and make you feel guilty, DVS. ALL ads on TV, and everywhere, are about manipulation. I despise manipulation.

For me, it's distance. I've mentally (and physically, where possible) separated myself from a lot of what the rest of our N. American society thinks is "normal". And it's amazing how different the the view is from the outside.

 

[StrayKat]

I come from the country where shit happened and is still not all peaches. I went through times of war and hunger, surviving with two small children on my hands.
I dont live there now but my girls still do and I am doing my best to help them all I can.

I dont watch TV but if I did I dont think any commercial would make me feel guilty about anything.

I appreciate the sympathy though.

 

[CutieMouse]

Funny story -

Every December, the SPCA has an adoption center near the shop. Every December I listen to coworkers go on.and on.and on. about how cute the puppies are and OMG did you see that one? And how horrible it is that there are so many unwanted pets in the world and how can people be so horrible and NOT adopt a pet?

So I'm walking out of work one day with a coworker, and she starts up with the adoption mantra again.

Her: OMG I wish I could just adopt a dozen of them!
Me: I think my animal meter must be broken or something.
Her: Huh?
Me: Everyone else gets all emotional and worked up every time they pass the SPCA cages, and I could honestly care less. I mean, I'm glad animals find homes, but the whole SPCA Holiday Adoption thing gets zero emotive response... I must not have a soul or something. LOL
Her: OMG! Is that what you really believe?!? That atheists don't have souls?!?
Me: *blink* It was a figure of speech. Just because I don't believe in religion/God, doesn't mean I'm soulless.

(Working amongst multiple fundamentalist Christians occasionally leads to interesting conversations about living life ethically vs. living life morally... this was not one of those conversations. )

 

[FurryFury]

I can't stand things that make me try to feel guilty either. It's a lousy tactic, IMO. Also, it doesn't work on me. It just makes me very angry.

I won't read or watch anything with shocking images that I don't want to see in it.

Right now I'm reading The Cat Who Came for Christmas by Cleveland Amory. I was hoping for a heart warming cute cat tale that would perhaps help me be in the mood for x'mas.

He digresses far too much. Note that too much would be any at all, into research on animals and other atrocities. Flip page. Flip page. Give me the warm x'mas cat goodness NOW!

 

[JMohegan]

Feeling sad and guilty, or just plain compassionate? You can do something about it by turning off the TV and heading out to help. Every community in this country has a soup kitchen, shelter for needy humans, shelter for needy animals, etc.

If you don't feel the urge to help, then don't. I don't understand why those commercials bother folks any more than manipulative "buy this car and implicitly get this hot chick" incessant advertising nonsense.

 

[BiBunny]

And this is why I'm eternally grateful I haven't had cable since I moved out of university housing in 2006.

 

[DVS]

Feeling sad and guilty, or just plain compassionate? You can do something about it by turning off the TV and heading out to help. Every community in this country has a soup kitchen, shelter for needy humans, shelter for needy animals, etc.

If you don't feel the urge to help, then don't. I don't understand why those commercials bother folks any more than manipulative "buy this car and implicitly get this hot chick" incessant advertising nonsense.

All commercials are fake, and if someone believes he's going to get the hot chick if he buys a certain car, he deserves to buy that hot car and find out.

The commercials are fake. I know better than to believe a fast car will get me anything more than high insurance rates. And it's not the manipulation that bothers me. I can deal with manipulation. The world is full of manipulation. It thrives on manipulation. Some of it survivies on manipulation.

But the pictures are real. You can't fake an abused animal cowering in a corner, shaking with fear and you can't fake a child emaciated and hungry, with eyes asking for help. It's those shocking images. I want to go out and find the person responsible and I know I can't. For all I know, those animals and kids could be dead by now. And whoever is responsible is long gone, or covered their tracks.

 

[StrayKat]

But the pictures are real. You can't fake an abused animal cowering in a corner, shaking with fear and you can't fake a child emaciated and hungry, with eyes asking for help. It's those shocking images. I want to go out and find the person responsible and I know I can't. For all I know, those animals and kids could be dead by now. And whoever is responsible is long gone, or covered their tracks.

Dont you know that world is full of abused animals and starved children even without seeing them on TV?
What I would ask myself (if I was bothered by it) would be - can I do something about it? Yes, do it then. No, then accept the fact they exist and move on. None is getting anything good out of you feeling bad.

You should turn the TV off and watch something else on your PC.
I have been doing that last 12 years and it saved me a lot of grief.

 

[DVS]

Dont you know that world is full of abused animals and starved children even without seeing them on TV?
What I would ask myself (if I was bothered by it) would be - can I do something about it? Yes, do it then. No, then accept the fact they exist and move on. None is getting anything good out of you feeling bad.

You should turn the TV off and watch something else on your PC.
I have been doing that last 12 years and it saved me a lot of grief.

What planet do you live on? I know the world is full of abused animals and starving kids. That's the whole reason for this thread. No, I can't do anything about the ones I see on TV. Sure, I can turn the channel or whatever, and I do. Didn't you read my first post? I can't just turn my head and tell myself the world is full of grief and move on. It doesn't matter if nobody is helped by my feeling bad. I still feel bad. I guess I'm just a bleeding heart.

 

[JMohegan]

What planet do you live on? I know the world is full of abused animals and starving kids. That's the whole reason for this thread. No, I can't do anything about the ones I see on TV. Sure, I can turn the channel or whatever, and I do. Didn't you read my first post? I can't just turn my head and tell myself the world is full of grief and move on. It doesn't matter if nobody is helped by my feeling bad. I still feel bad. I guess I'm just a bleeding heart.

So don't just turn your head and feel bad.

Pick up the phone and call your local soup kitchen, Salvation Army, shelter, whatever. Ask how you can volunteer your time to help.

 

[GracefullyYours]

I'm the same with the humane society commercials. I HAVE to change the channel.

But as soon as I change it I am bombarded with car commercials (do that many people give cars as gifts?) Then all the engagement commercials.... Ugh
As a single mom who has never had a new car, this time of year makes me feel inadequate.
*hides under covers until after the holidays

Oh my God.....I have some fucked-up psychosomatic response now and cry every time I hear Sarah McLachlan..... I CANNOT handle the sad-looking animals....

 

[Lilac_Sky]

DVS,
I understand completely ... there is actually a commercial on the tv right this moment asking for money to be sent to Christians and Jews in Israel who are "desperate for food" in an "hour of need."

There are so many stories of people, children, animals in need. I volunteer my time and give to charities, but it still seems like the commercials are trying to make me feel guilty for not suffering in the way of the people in the commercials. I think that is what drives me nuts .... the way those commercials seem to be trying to guilt viewers into responding.

 

[StrayKat]

What planet do you live on?

Not the same one apparently. My planet is harsh and cruel and its a fact of life I learned to live with.

 

[DVS]

So don't just turn your head and feel bad.

Pick up the phone and call your local soup kitchen, Salvation Army, shelter, whatever. Ask how you can volunteer your time to help.

Sure, I could do some of this, and I have. I've found that the pain and suffering is non-stop. The little time I can spend to help is miniscule, as is my cash.

I could never help in an animal shelter. It would just be too emotional. I do help with Harvesters, which is a food pantry in this area, but at this time of year, the need overburdens the supply. That's understandable in one respect, because many soup kitchens try to offer a turkey dinner with all the trimmings to the homeless on Thanksgiving and that sucks up a lot of food from the local pantries. But because this season is known as the time for giving, you'd think the pantries would be overflowing with extra food, but they aren't. But this isn't my reason for starting this thread. And it's obvious by your post that you don't understand, either.

I don't like the pictures of abused animals and starving kids because they have already been hurt. They have already suffered the pain. Nobody can take that away and no amount of helping others can help them. So seeing images of these animals and kids only makes me hurt inside. It's not a hurt that can be healed by helping others. It's not a pain that will stop when I see a smiling face on a kid who has a full stomach or an animal going to a good and loving home. It's all too little, too late.

 

[Loverskitten]

Ok I'm about to get all "Chicken Soup for the Soul" on you guys but hell, it is the holidays bah humbug

"One At A Time
A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean.

As our friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at time, he was throwing them back into the water.

Our friend was puzzled. He approached the man and said, "Good evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing."

"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all of these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."

"I understand," my friend replied, "but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"

The local native smiled, bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied, "made a difference to that one!""

So I'm gunna hug up my rescue cats and dogs and know I made a difference to them

 

[DVS]

Not the same one apparently. My planet is harsh and cruel and its a fact of life I learned to live with.

Well, my planet is similar to yours. It is also harsh and cruel and I'm sure I'm older than you are and I learned it was a fact of life long ago. But, it doesn't seem to get any better, no matter how much time, money, food and assistance people give to those in need. I once thought it would only be a matter of time. But I was really young and naive back then.

I think the worst of the worst are the corrupt country governments who take what others give and parse it out at their leisure, and the corrupt charities who take and don't give to anybody but themselves.

 

[StrayKat]

Well, my planet is similar to yours. It is also harsh and cruel and I'm sure I'm older than you are and I learned it was a fact of life long ago. But, it doesn't seem to get any better, no matter how much time, money, food and assistance people give to those in need. I once thought it would only be a matter of time. But I was really young and naive back then.

I think the worst of the worst are the corrupt country governments who take what others give and parse it out at their leisure, and the corrupt charities who take and don't give to anybody but themselves.

Look. I dont want to dis you in any way. I am sure you are older too though I am not as young as I might look.

But I have been through things. I saw my relative being blown to pieces by a bomb in front of my eyes. And I could do nothing else but drag his screaming trashing wife back to the safe place and try to hush her down.
I ran to air shelter with a toddler in my hands and 3 yo holding my skirt in the middle of the night. Alone on empty streets. I spent the rest of the night telling them stories about how it will be when war ends and Daddy comes home even tho I didnt know if he was still alive.

I had to keep smiling for my kids when all I wanted to do was curl in the corner and die crying. I could not afford to let myself be affected or I would have fallen apart and not only me but those I care for more than I do for myself could have been hurt.
So I learned not to be affected by pictures on TV either. At least not much. Most I can feel is anger. Because those that make those shots to manipulate people into guilt trips dont really have an idea what it is to be hungry, abused and hurt.

I dont go through life completely heartless either. I help when I can. I get furious when I see injustice and unfairness least abuse. I am the kind of woman that would jump right on a child molester with my teeth and nails and make him sorry for what he does. I too, like kitten, collect all the animals I can and go way out of my way to find them a happy home.
Only I am aware there is always more of them out there and I can never save the world. And that doesnt make me feel guilty. Makes me angry at those who are guilty. Corrupted governments like you said. One such destroyed the country I loved and almost destroyed my life.... how can I not be angry?

So anger yes, but guilt? No. I did the best I could in every situation life threw me in. Why would I feel guilty?

 

[DVS]

Ok I'm about to get all "Chicken Soup for the Soul" on you guys but hell, it is the holidays bah humbug

"One At A Time
A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean.

As our friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at time, he was throwing them back into the water.

Our friend was puzzled. He approached the man and said, "Good evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing."

"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all of these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."

"I understand," my friend replied, "but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"

The local native smiled, bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied, "made a difference to that one!""

So I'm gunna hug up my rescue cats and dogs and know I made a difference to them

I understand and agree with his mindset. You often look at the world and wonder why there is so much need, but then you inevitably have to decide you are only one person and can only do so much. He had the right idea. His cup was half full.

I have always been an animal lover. And any animal I have owned has been given to me by someone who couldn't keep it for some reason or another. If I didn't take it, I'm sure it would probably go to the shelter. I've had my share of pets through the years. I've had more than a few dogs and quite a few cats. All of them were given to me, by others.

Now, on the other hand, I have a couple of sisters who each have three dogs, all of them pure bread pedigree and probably cost several hundreds of dollars each. I would never say anything to them about this, because they love these dogs, I'm sure. And they love animals as much as I do. We had our share of animals as kids and none of them were anything more than strays that made good.

But it bothers me to know that while they spent big bucks on these 6 dogs, six other dogs might have been put to sleep, because nobody adopted them. I believe that the pedigree animal will always have someone willing to pay for them, but it's the ones in the shelters that need the home.

 

[JMohegan]

Well, my planet is similar to yours. It is also harsh and cruel and I'm sure I'm older than you are and I learned it was a fact of life long ago. But, it doesn't seem to get any better, no matter how much time, money, food and assistance people give to those in need. I once thought it would only be a matter of time. But I was really young and naive back then.

I think the worst of the worst are the corrupt country governments who take what others give and parse it out at their leisure, and the corrupt charities who take and don't give to anybody but themselves.

Collectively speaking, the world is not ever going to change. Collectively speaking, cruelty and ignorance are eternal, as is misery. Collectively speaking, there's not a goddamn thing you or I can do about it. I agree.

But I'm not talking about the collective happiness v. misery index, DVS. I'm talking, very specifically, about you.

The only way I know to get rid of that fuckitall, pistol-to-the-head temptation is to get busy helping other people. I'm suggesting this for *your* benefit, not because I believe the collective can be altered.

Somewhere in your neighborhood is a fire station organizing a toy drive for poor kids, an elementary school packing up candy for the troops in Afghanistan, etc. Find a group that appeals to you, or better yet - start one yourself. Turn off the fucking TV and spend your couch time in the community instead.

ETA - Animal lover? DVS, animal shelters/humane societies/vet offices in modest neighborhoods - all those places love volunteers and would welcome your help.

 

[DVS]

Look. I dont want to dis you in any way. I am sure you are older too though I am not as young as I might look.

But I have been through things. I saw my relative being blown to pieces by a bomb in front of my eyes. And I could do nothing else but drag his screaming trashing wife back to the safe place and try to hush her down.
I ran to air shelter with a toddler in my hands and 3 yo holding my skirt in the middle of the night. Alone on empty streets. I spent the rest of the night telling them stories about how it will be when war ends and Daddy comes home even tho I didnt know if he was still alive.

I had to keep smiling for my kids when all I wanted to do was curl in the corner and die crying. I could not afford to let myself be affected or I would have fallen apart and not only me but those I care for more than I do for myself could have been hurt.
So I learned not to be affected by pictures on TV either. At least not much. Most I can feel is anger. Because those that make those shots to manipulate people into guilt trips dont really have an idea what it is to be hungry, abused and hurt.

I dont go through life completely heartless either. I help when I can. I get furious when I see injustice and unfairness least abuse. I am the kind of woman that would jump right on a child molester with my teeth and nails and make him sorry for what he does. I too, like kitten, collect all the animals I can and go way out of my way to find them a happy home.
Only I am aware there is always more of them out there and I can never save the world. And that doesnt make me feel guilty. Makes me angry at those who are guilty. Corrupted governments like you said. One such destroyed the country I loved and almost destroyed my life.... how can I not be angry?

So anger yes, but guilt? No. I did the best I could in every situation life threw me in. Why would I feel guilty?

Hold on...I don't know what part of my post you didn't like but I meant no disrespect. I'm just telling my story as I experienced it. I also take in my share (and sometimes more than my share) of animals. I always have, and always will. I feel no guilt in that act. It's all love.

In fact, I feel no guilt at all. That was just the ploy of the commercial. I just wish I could have helped the animals in those images. That's the whole meaning behind me starting this thread...those images and my inability to help them.

 

[switchbitch]

some of the comments here assume that those who don't like the ads, simply don't want to know nothing could be farther from the truth. I spend part of every single day helping those less fortunate or simply those who need help what I do object to in those advertisements is the fact that they play on the holiday season to try and make people feel guilty about what is happening in the world. That guilt should not be seasonalbeing overburdened with more and more sad images at a time of year when people's emotions are already running high to me seems irresponsible at the very least. Of course we should all place charity at a high rate in our lives. But deliberately playing on people's emotions at this time of year more than at any other seems disgustingly manipulative.

 

[StrayKat]

In fact, I feel no guilt at all. That was just the ploy of the commercial. I just wish I could have helped the animals in those images. That's the whole meaning behind me starting this thread...those images and my inability to help them.

Then its ok, I can relate.
But doesnt the fact that you do and will help some other animals who would otherwise end like the ones in those images make you feel better? Since you do know that you cant help them all and you are doing all you can?