What should my friend do??

[Justfantasies]

I have this friend; and yep this really is a friend not me. 40 years ago (yes 40) he had this girl friend who he adored. He asked to her to marry him at least a thousand times and she said no a thousand times.

Inevitably they lost contact and both got married to other people. Suddenly three years ago, she got in contact with him and since then she has been e-mailing him at least twice a week. They talk about old times and things of mutual interest, but (according to him) never about sex.

He is separated from his wife, but she has been married for 35 years. She won't meet with him or even talk with him on the phone. She won't even send him a picture of her; but she started all this and is always sending him e-mails.

Last week he found a recent picture of her on the WWW and she still looks great. Now he feels all those old feelings and can't talk about much else except this woman. I have told him that at best she wants to be friends, and at worst she is just teasing him. I have also told him that he should probably stop e-mailing.

But he is still convinced that something is going to happen between them. And frankly he is getting VERY boring. There is not much more I can say to him. She actually is great looking for 60, but . . .

Any insight on this, especially from long married ladies. What is she up to? Because he is a good friend and if there is really any reason for him to pursue this, then fine. Otherwise, I am going to tell him gently but firmly to drop the whole thing

 

[Panoply]

She is keeping her options open.

 

[eyer]

I think you and he should cease the charade...

...and just go ahead and blow each other.

 

[Justfantasies]

She is keeping her options open.

She's 60. How long can she keep her options open LOL?

I am not sure I want to tell my friend that. It will encourage him a wee bit too much.

Are you male or female? Couldn't tell from your profile

 

[Justfantasies]

I think you and he should cease the charade...

...and just go ahead and blow each other.

I am sure there must be a joke in there somewhere

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Tell him to slit his wrists

 

[dawn6325177]

Time for him to ask her whats up, what her intentions are . She started itand now it is time for her to come clean about what she wants. If she doesn't want a relationship then he needs to look on for that person who cares about hjm and has no pllans to play stupid junior high games.

 

[eyer]

I am sure there must be a joke in there somewhere

Do I look like a comedian to you?

 

[Panoply]

She's 60. How long can she keep her options open LOL?

I am not sure I want to tell my friend that. It will encourage him a wee bit too much.

Are you male or female? Couldn't tell from your profile

Her hub could die at any minute and she'll need a suitable replacement. Most likely she knew the minute your friend was separated.

It's not important.
We won't be fucking.

 

[Monkey_Face]

He should take as many pictures of his penis as possible, photo shop them into a bouquet, and send them to her.

If she keeps talking to him, she's serious.

 

[Justfantasies]

Time for him to ask her whats up, what her intentions are . She started itand now it is time for her to come clean about what she wants. If she doesn't want a relationship then he needs to look on for that person who cares about hjm and has no pllans to play stupid junior high games.

He (says) he tried that (I have never actually read the e-mails) and got no answer.

 

[Justfantasies]

He should take as many pictures of his penis as possible, photo shop them into a bouquet, and send them to her.

If she keeps talking to him, she's serious.

Now that is actually funny!!!

And I am going to tell him that.

Of course, when she stops e-mailing altogether, I will blame you

 

[Monkey_Face]

Now that is actually funny!!!

And I am going to tell him that.

Of course, when she stops e-mailing altogether, I will blame you

Blame...or thank?

 

[Justfantasies]

Her hub could die at any minute and she'll need a suitable replacement. Most likely she knew the minute your friend was separated.

It's not important.
We won't be fucking.

He's actually in his late 60s and I was wondering about his state of health too.

I was asking about your gender, because I wondered if you were coming at this from a female perspective. I am all "she's screwing with you man, forget it." I was wondering if there was some hope from him when looking at it as a woman.

 

[Justfantasies]

Blame...or thank?

You a very intelligent

 

[Panoply]

He's actually in his late 60s and I was wondering about his state of health too.

I was asking about your gender, because I wondered if you were coming at this from a female perspective. I am all "she's screwing with you man, forget it." I was wondering if there was some hope from him when looking at it as a woman.

Not to shock you but people are doing it into their 90's. His only hope is that the hubby croaks.

Trust me.

 

[Justfantasies]

Not to shock you but people are doing it into their 90's. His only hope is that the hubby croaks.

Trust me.

I think you are probably correct. I don't want to encourage him to wish this poor guy dead. To bad she won't even have coffee with him though.

You seem very sensible and yes I know people are doing it their 90s. Very encouraging trend

 

[Alexandra831]

She is having problems in her marriage.. and probably feeling low about herself.. so she contacts the one person she knows that loved and cared about her madly.. so she contacts him.. to get those old feelings back.. that someone cares and loves her etc.. but she is not willing to give up her marriage either.. I think he is wasting his time..and you need to tell him .. you don't want to here it any more because your tired of it..

 

[Justfantasies]

She is having problems in her marriage.. and probably feeling low about herself.. so she contacts the one person she knows that loved and cared about her madly.. so she contacts him.. to get those old feelings back.. that someone cares and loves her etc.. but she is not willing to give up her marriage either.. I think he is wasting his time..and you need to tell him .. you don't want to here it any more because your tired of it..

I think so too. For one thing, the picture of her is actually a picture of her and several other people at the reception. She is the only one not smiling; she is not happy.

I am thinking of telling him to cut back on the e-mails at least and see if she might then reach out to him a bit. She isn't going to leave a guy she has been married to for 30+ years. But doing lunch with my friend isn't cheating. I don't think he will give up on writing to her completely which is the right thing to do probably.

I also wonder what hubbie knows about him

Oh well!

 

[renard_ruse]

Not to shock you but people are doing it into their 90's. ..

Sorry, but that is seriously disgusting.

 

[Image]

I have this friend; and yep this really is a friend not me. 40 years ago (yes 40) he had this girl friend who he adored. He asked to her to marry him at least a thousand times and she said no a thousand times.

Inevitably they lost contact and both got married to other people. Suddenly three years ago, she got in contact with him and since then she has been e-mailing him at least twice a week. They talk about old times and things of mutual interest, but (according to him) never about sex.

He is separated from his wife, but she has been married for 35 years. She won't meet with him or even talk with him on the phone. She won't even send him a picture of her; but she started all this and is always sending him e-mails.

Last week he found a recent picture of her on the WWW and she still looks great. Now he feels all those old feelings and can't talk about much else except this woman. I have told him that at best she wants to be friends, and at worst she is just teasing him. I have also told him that he should probably stop e-mailing.

But he is still convinced that something is going to happen between them. And frankly he is getting VERY boring. There is not much more I can say to him. She actually is great looking for 60, but . . .

Any insight on this, especially from long married ladies. What is she up to? Because he is a good friend and if there is really any reason for him to pursue this, then fine. Otherwise, I am going to tell him gently but firmly to drop the whole thing

OK, really, we both know this number is ridiculous. So, maybe he asked her a couple of times, it wasn't as serious as he thought, end of story...

I recently hooked back up with some old friends on fb that coulda/maybe/were boyfriends, who remembers? I don't talk with them about sex. I'm loving getting those old memories and nostalgia back though.

She's not up to anything except reliving some great old memories. Unless she
she's in a miserable, untolerable relationship after 35 years no one is going anywhere.

He's divorced and has nothing to lose. She's married, supposedly happily so since you didn't mention it, and just likes to reminesce. I think he just needs to quit writing lust/love/affair into it and just accept it as an old friendship and smile...

 

[Justfantasies]

OK, really, we both know this number is ridiculous. So, maybe he asked her a couple of times, it wasn't as serious as he thought, end of story...

I recently hooked back up with some old friends on fb that coulda/maybe/were boyfriends, who remembers? I don't talk with them about sex. I'm loving getting those old memories and nostalgia back though.

She's not up to anything except reliving some great old memories. Unless she
she's in a miserable, untolerable relationship after 35 years no one is going anywhere.

He's divorced and has nothing to lose. She's married, supposedly happily so since you didn't mention it, and just likes to reminesce. I think he just needs to quit writing lust/love/affair into it and just accept it as an old friendship and smile...

You could well be right.

 

[Image]

She is having problems in her marriage.. and probably feeling low about herself.. so she contacts the one person she knows that loved and cared about her madly.. so she contacts him.. to get those old feelings back.. that someone cares and loves her etc.. but she is not willing to give up her marriage either.. I think he is wasting his time..and you need to tell him .. you don't want to here it any more because your tired of it..

How the fuck do you get that from what he posted?

I think you're projecting. Why are you and others so insistent that she's on the hunt? Most women at 60 are extremely secure; emotionally and socially. She certainly sounds like she fits this description rather than a damsel in distress...

 

[Monkey_Face]

Her intentions are irrelevant.

Whatever they are, we all agree she's not leaving her husband for him. And he is clearly infatuated with her to the point of being incapable of real friendship. This equation doesn't end well.

Penis bouquet is the only way out.

 

[December]

I have this friend; and yep this really is a friend not me. 40 years ago (yes 40) he had this girl friend who he adored. He asked to her to marry him at least a thousand times and she said no a thousand times.

Inevitably they lost contact and both got married to other people. Suddenly three years ago, she got in contact with him and since then she has been e-mailing him at least twice a week. They talk about old times and things of mutual interest, but (according to him) never about sex.

He is separated from his wife, but she has been married for 35 years. She won't meet with him or even talk with him on the phone. She won't even send him a picture of her; but she started all this and is always sending him e-mails.

Last week he found a recent picture of her on the WWW and she still looks great. Now he feels all those old feelings and can't talk about much else except this woman. I have told him that at best she wants to be friends, and at worst she is just teasing him. I have also told him that he should probably stop e-mailing.

But he is still convinced that something is going to happen between them. And frankly he is getting VERY boring. There is not much more I can say to him. She actually is great looking for 60, but . . .

Any insight on this, especially from long married ladies. What is she up to? Because he is a good friend and if there is really any reason for him to pursue this, then fine. Otherwise, I am going to tell him gently but firmly to drop the whole thing

1. Your friend is you. You may think just because you claimed it wasn't that people would believe you, but the terminology and tense used in your post clearly points towards this story being about you.

2. There was nothing especially embarrassing in this story, I can't figure out why you would say it was about a friend.

3. There is no sexual or romantic relationship to follow up with here. She isn't looking for that and she has made her boundaries clear if everything you said about the nature of her emails was true.

4. Enjoy her friendship, a truly good friend is priceless.

5. Grow a spine.

Hope this helps.