Orpheus Laments Euridice, With Brooding Emptiness

[ModernPromethean]

Orpheus laments her infinite emptiness, his brooding nothingness in Minor key, his fawn-eyed ingenue, roiled her sediment, as he slumbered her leisurely in limerance contained. The propitious winds blew, in cardinal direction, gave Aeolian essence, to lust bleached bare. Deciduous and vulnerables, they quietly closed, their sheaths to the critics and banality of war, the acoustics were vocal with spirant opprobriums, but Orpheus crooned his noisy song, his obsessive rhythms, in ascendancy of subjugation, gave catalytic inspiration for painting the phosphor, and surveying.the landscape, with empty fears, they authored a flame and muscular heart, inspired by dappled, quixotic dreams, and coupled-colour'd brinded rose, in stippled form. The confident swimers of chestnut shoal, avoided the Satyrs and offer'd religion, from devotional parchments. The sensitive poet, writes ancestral accouchements, she structures the the coda, with protagonist denouement, with parochial hands, she writes him an opus, and weeps an odiferous gum

 

[bronzeage]

You have some brilliant images, although some are obscure and obtuse.

Please have some sympathy for your reader and break it into reasonable lines.

 

[prolit1]

nice!

 

[ModernPromethean]

Hi & Thank You !

Hi and thank you for your post as critique, My poems are carefully composed using various techniques such as palaverous verse, tautologous stanzas and obscure historical references as decoction fodder for Deconstructionist analysis. Recently I have been dabbling in a technique I call Circumlocutory. Periphrasis. In linguistics, periphrasis is a device by which a grammatical category or grammatical relationship is expressed by a free morpheme (typically one or more function words modifying a content word), instead of being shown by inflection or derivation. For example, the English future tense is periphrastic: it is formed with an auxiliary verb (shall or will) followed by the base form of the main verb. Another example is the comparative and superlative forms of adjectives, when they are formed with the words more and most rather than with the suffixes -er and -est: the forms more beautiful and most beautiful. ( Wikipedia ) - Again, thank you for your comment.

 

[bronzeage]

I got that, yet haven gotten, was puzzled the more.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

I got that, yet haven gotten, was puzzled the more.

Break out the Drain-O - the pipes are clogged.

Hi and thank you for your post as critique, My poems are carefully composed using various techniques such as palaverous verse, tautologous stanzas and obscure historical references as decoction fodder for Deconstructionist analysis. Recently I have been dabbling in a technique I call Circumlocutory. Periphrasis. In linguistics, periphrasis is a device by which a grammatical category or grammatical relationship is expressed by a free morpheme (typically one or more function words modifying a content word), instead of being shown by inflection or derivation. For example, the English future tense is periphrastic: it is formed with an auxiliary verb (shall or will) followed by the base form of the main verb. Another example is the comparative and superlative forms of adjectives, when they are formed with the words more and most rather than with the suffixes -er and -est: the forms more beautiful and most beautiful. ( Wikipedia ) - Again, thank you for your comment.

Welcome Oh wordy one....Perhaps opening your own thread in the other forum would be better than scattering them in here, all your works will be together, that way your fans can find them more easily.

 

[ModernPromethean]

Oh My !

Thank You Thank You for that advice, I am new to this forum and for that matter, new to the whole process of blogging period. I'm embarrassed that my behavior seems histrionic ! Any other advice or tips would be immensely appreciated.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Thank You Thank You for that advice, I am new to this forum and for that matter, new to the whole process of blogging period. I'm embarrassed that my behavior seems histrionic ! Any other advice or tips would be immensely appreciated.

I am enjoying your approach to poetry - it's new to me and a bit dense but it pays to read through it several times.....keeping a dictionary close to hand.

 

[ModernPromethean]

Resplendent child, Elysium Babe

Beware Elysium Child, powerless to the gilted path of Ploutons air. The infants mother sparkled at the rivers edge where the last swim bladder leaped. Her Imperial Amazon flight trumped the crickets song, her voice sang her Elysium Child Sonnanbulic ! as she slid ithe secret stream in black from gold peace
Beware my child when your ground cracks and your vulnerability falls wide open to the blackened granular contemporaneous air, your bleeding river runs retrograde, in the hands of black silted hulk, the factory's smoke stack blooms dioxide over deciduous feldspar'd quartz
Resplendent child lying where moon-scythes reap the ripened fruit falls, you sleep my Elysium babe as I leep the tangled nests where wild moss falls, up from the tree of Electra cries your gilted hero with fearless sword,your bed poured whiteness on the issue of nuptial chambers and marriage dawns
Her sacred riparian flow still runs through this child’s hands, under blue smoke, over shimmery leaves, a scented smoke of light drips quietly, quotidian drop by drop on a silver'd snake platter adorned with sparklets at the edge of the velvet of her room.

 

[ModernPromethean]

Thank You Tristesse2

Feel free to ask me, I will elucidate the the image

 

[ModernPromethean]

Beware Elysium Child, powerless to the gilted path of Ploutons air. The infants mother sparkled at the rivers edge where the last swim bladder leaped. Her Imperial Amazon flight trumped the crickets song, her voice sang her Elysium Child Sonnanbulic ! as she slid the secret stream in black from gold peace
Beware my child when your ground cracks and your vulnerability falls wide open to the blackened granular contemporaneous air, your bleeding river runs retrograde, in the hands of black silted hulk, the factory's smoke stack blooms dioxide over deciduous feldspar'd quartz
Resplendent child lying where moon-scythes reap the ripened fruit falls, you sleep my Elysium babe as I leep the tangled nests where wild moss falls, up from the tree of Orpheus cries your gilted hero with fearless sword,your bed poured whiteness on the issue of nuptial chambers and marriage dawns
Her sacred riparian flow still runs through this child’s hands, under blue smoke, over shimmery leaves, a scented smoke of light drips quietly, quotidian drop by drop on a silver'd snake platter adorned with sparklets at the edge of the velvet of her room.