BDSM wildly popular?

Interesting. I haven't read the article yet, I'll have to do it when I have more time, so what I'm going to say probably won't match what's written in the article. Sorry.

It seems to me that the stereotypical BDSM and fetishistic imagery is wildly popular these days, but I'm not sure BDSM itself is any more popular than it used to be. I mean, more people certainly know about it, more people probably try out some stuff in the privacy of their bedrooms, but I don't know if the number of people, who identify themselves as being part of the BDSM culture (or whatever we should call it) has gone up. There's more evidence of BDSM in public now, but I'm still not sure the mass volume of "practitioners" is significantly larger these days.

Music videos are a prime example. It's become more and more difficult to shock the audience, so BDSM has, it seems to me, become a very popular theme in music videos. Skimpy costumes and girl-on-girl vibes aren't enough anymore, even if in the years gone by they were radical, shocking and groundbreaking things to show on a video. Now it's (mild) BDSM and fetish that's fresh and radical.

And me personally don't care if BDSM is trendy or not. I don't really associate my sexuality or personality with the images seen on music videos or even on the real (or "real") BDSM videos. For me submission is how I roll, and I know a lot of things have to happen, before the things that I'm into actually become wildly popular (or even more accepted) instead of the more carnal and visual side of things.

And I feel like I'm just rambling. I'll have to read the article when I get back home and see if I can actually come up with something that's even remotely tied with it.
 
Before my time...

I've seen handcuff earing, and pink fuzzy cuffs, and latex, and boots, and what not all my life.

Hmm, but then I grew up in Germany, Americans are kinda prude.
 
Entertainingly, looking at Texts From Last Night a few days ago I saw a text that says,

(A): He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
(B): Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.


Which pretty much sums up what I think the general public opinion of kink is these days. The vocabulary isn't the same, but there's a threshold that's acceptable, in some circles even expected that you've tried it: light bondage and blindfolds, sensation (ice, hot wax, textures) or light pain play (spanking, slapping, scratching), orgasm control, humiliation/dirty talk. Women who want a "real man" in the bedroom or men who want their partner to "take charge" sometimes aren't uncommon.

I think a lot more people engage in that kind of "kinky" behavior than would think of themselves as into BDSM, but anything beyond that is still weird and taboo, and god forbid any of it is nonsexual (because why would you do it if not to get off).
 
First off, I take slight issue with the author's definition of what the "BDSM" acronym stands for. It's actually a conflation of the acronyms for bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M). Aside from that, it's a pretty interesting article (though it's over a year old).

I think one reason (among many) why what many people perceive as BDSM kinds of activities is becoming more popular is the increasing prevalence of rougher sex in porn. A great many people get their sexual cues and fantasies from watching porn, and as anyone who's watched porn recently has noticed, it has gotten a lot rougher than it used to be. People see things in porn like hair pulling, people spitting on one another, people being slapped in the face, spanked & whipped, bound, etc., and emulate that. Once they find out how hot it can be, they oftentimes will begin to explore other avenues in the BDSM arena.

It wasn't too long ago that, as a woman, if you admitted you enjoyed rough, aggressive sex, you were seen as a freak or mentally/emotionally defective. Nowadays, it's almost expected on the part of both men and women that rough sex will be a part of any sex play.
 
Are you using the word blame in jest, or do you actually see this as a negative thing?

BDSM and all that kinky shit is responsible for the disintegration of the family unit and consequently the decline in social values.
 
Dominance and submission have always been part of normal sex.


Now, via the internet, people have a vocabulary to describe what they've been doing all along.
 
Dominance and submission have always been part of normal sex.


Now, via the internet, people have a vocabulary to describe what they've been doing all along.

This.

Although the dominance and submission part of it used to be more like a daily reality that many women fought against, rather than a perversion that many now women fight for.

Go figure.
 
This.

Although the dominance and submission part of it used to be more like a daily reality that many women fought against, rather than a perversion that many now women fight for.

Go figure.

yeah, but some of feel conflicted about it now.
 
Dominance and submission have always been part of normal sex.


Now, via the internet, people have a vocabulary to describe what they've been doing all along.

or NOT doing until figuring out that it's "ok" ??? i dunno
 
or NOT doing until figuring out that it's "ok" ??? i dunno
Well isn't it more about the lack of communication that people have in a relationship. So they take the social mode from the society as the acceptable way to interact.
 
Hmm, but then I grew up in Germany, Americans are kinda prude.
*sigh* That is very true, unfortunately (though it is funny since Americans think they are "cutting edge" and the of the world is so stuffy :rolleyes: )

It wasn't too long ago that, as a woman, if you admitted you enjoyed rough, aggressive sex, you were seen as a freak or mentally/emotionally defective. Nowadays, it's almost expected on the part of both men and women that rough sex will be a part of any sex play.

I am still not seeing that unfortunately ;)

This.

Although the dominance and submission part of it used to be more like a daily reality that many women fought against, rather than a perversion that many now women fight for.

Go figure.

yeah, but some of feel conflicted about it now.

or NOT doing until figuring out that it's "ok" ??? i dunno

And this ^ is the story of my life:
1. Knew I had urges that were not things I saw anywhere else
2. "Knew" they were wrong and sick and deviant and inappropriate
3. Tried to ignore, suppress & fill my submissive needs with an asshole of a controlling husband (but not controlling in the "right" way)
4. Ended up being miserable until I realized that I was not the only "freak in the world"
5. Found Mistress who helped me put words to what I needed and wanted, shared those needs, and let me know it was "ok" to be both an independent modern woman *and* a masochistic slave
 
Well, yeah, that's the nature of perversions... Even "perfectly natural" ones. :D

I'd go further than that. It's the nature of sex. No matter how tame, or vanilla, or whatever else you want to call it, there'll be someone out there who's going to feel bad or guilty over doing it, or worse, someone looking to instill that guilt in others.

God knows that was the case with me. Growing up, for the longest time I'd ignore my own desires for domination, actually be a little scared of them; to me that kind of domineering sexual behaviour was very close to rape. I was afraid that I'd hurt any partner I tried it with. Course, then I met my wife, and the rest is history.

So I guess I was the reverse of Lilac's position, for a while
 
Role-playing, spanking, rough-er sex, the use of toys while in the bedroom has gotten more popular. Even going to BDSM theme nights at clubs--which really anren't dungeons but are normal clubs decorated with a few props and encouraging patrons to dress kinky are getting popular.

I think the general public still looks at D/s relationships as being abnormal. Topping and bottoming may be ok but for a woman to agree to obey a man about everything in her life? To agree to obey that a man has control over her sex life? In 2011???? GTFOH (I don't have first knowledge of the male submissive point of view but I would guess it is even more unpopular)

Even when I talk to my very kinky sister who lives in SanFran about my D/s relationship she get a little upset with me when I say "I'll have to get permission first" Her "Just lie, he'll never know" signals to me that even among kinky folks 24/7 obedience is still not all that accepted.
 
I think it's more of a image thing than actually practiced.

Think channeling sci fi heroins through fashion.

Or whatever.
 
BDSM has been slowly finding a spot in mainstream media for about 10 years or so. Every so often, you'd hear some TV character mention something in conversation that he'd like to do to another character, or something they do to relax or maybe another character would find a pair of handcuffs in someone's apartment and then the knowing looks would go around.

Then, we had the movies like 9 and 1/2 Weeks, The Secretary, Bound, others with spanking scenes, bondage scenes and even others that had those scenes cut out to make a more standard rating. But, BDSM has been slowly creeping up through the vanilla world. So, with more exposure, people who have never heard of it perk up their interest. And those who do know about it feel more at ease to talk about it, than they did before.

Even some of the current TV cop shows would have a bad guy that was into BDSM. Not that it would be a good way to promote the lifestyle, but even that would bring it out into public domain. I know a lot of the shows on ratings week would be a plot about BDSM or some other kind of sexual deviate, because they knew it would bring in the viewers. Even the shows like 20/20 and Nite line would do it. Again, the more exposure BDSM got, the more people would be inquisitive about it.

I don't think it's more popular than it once was, but I think it has been allowed to come out into the main stream more so maybe more people know about it now. So, I don't think its popularity has gone up, but the numbers of people being made aware of it has gone up. It's always been popular. At least it's always been quite popular with me.
 
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