Question on divorce?

[nakdsub]

In most states the waiting time between filing for divorce and dissolution is 6 months. During that time I know a judge can order marriage counseling but when would that be done, in the beginning of the 6, or just before the 6 months was over?

 

[st0ut]

most don't anymore. at least mine didn't. We had to giro how to be a good divorced parent school that's it.

good luck

 

[nakdsub]

Thanks, I know it's rare these days...

but I need to know for a story I'm writing.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

In most states the waiting time between filing for divorce and dissolution is 6 months. During that time I know a judge can order marriage counseling but when would that be done, in the beginning of the 6, or just before the 6 months was over?

Your premise is incorrect. As of 2009, only sixteen states (plus D.C.) have mandatory waiting periods. Thirty-four states have no waiting period at all. Three states (Arkansas, Connecticut, New Jersey) are 18 months; six states (Maryland, Nevada, North Carolina, Ohio, South Carolina, West Virginia) are 12 months; six states and D.C. (Delaware, Illinois, Louisiana, Montana, Vermont, Virginia) are six months; one state is 60 days (Kentucky).

Also, the waiting period in some states is prior to filing for divorce*, and in others after filing but prior to entry of a divorce decree.

*Period of separation prior to filing. States with this type of waiting period include Connecticut, Louisiana, Maryland, Montana, Nevada, and North Carolina, plus D.C.

 

[nakdsub]

Thank but...

I'm talking about Illinois. You seem to know your stuff. If a judge has the mind to do so, I believe he can still order mandatory marriage counseling before granting the final decree, BUT when would he do this? That is my question. Can it be done any time during the 6 month wait, or would it be done just before the final decree was granted and, thereby, extending the waiting time?

 

[NikkiBastion]

I can't speak for Illinois, but happen to be going through a divorce at the moment and this issue has come up.

Unless it's a state mandate, the way it usually works is if either party in the divorce requests it. So, you file the papers on the other spouse who then has X amount of days to file a response with the court. In my case it's 20 days. If it's state to state, 30. Yours may vary. If there is a response, that would be where the party served can include in the response a request for counseling. The judge would make a decision and usually signs off on it (particularly if kids are involved). If there is no response, default judgment is filed giving the other party another 10 days, at which point if there is no response, the petitioner is usually awarded all that was asked for in the petition - which could likewise have included a request for marriage counseling. It would be more likely, given the timeframes, that the counseling is done before a divorce is granted, and be based on when these particular filings occur and which party does it.

An easy route is to google search divorce procedures and marriage counseling in your state, or visit your particular county's clerk of court for the online divorce info - it'll be in there for sure.

Hope it helps!

 

[nakdsub]

Thank you much

I'm sorry for your divorce.

 

[NikkiBastion]

I'm sorry for your divorce.

Not me. I'm so enjoying crucifying his loser ass

 

[nakdsub]

Thanks everyone

I did learn that a judge can order counseling at any time during the divorce, at least in Illinois.
If you're interested, you can read how I used the info in my story, "Harry and Barbara."

Thanks again for all the help.

 

[roomfor1more]

In most states the waiting time between filing for divorce and dissolution is 6 months. During that time I know a judge can order marriage counseling but when would that be done, in the beginning of the 6, or just before the 6 months was over?

Are you asking about counseling or are you confusing counseling with mediation? They are similar but there are differences. Mediation means discussing the issues with a mediator who listens to both sides and proposes solutions. They are to be impartial and trained specifically in conflict resolution. Depending on the state and the reason the recommendations may not be binding.

Whereas counseling wastes money and most couples contemplating divorce will divorce regardless of the intervention of a counselor. Furthermore a counselor may / may not be certified in marriage counseling and they may / may not be required by a state to be licensed. It is therefore possible that a counselor that is treating a couple may have nothing more than a high school diploma. Next, the counselor's theoretical orientation, education, and personal experience will determine their biases thereby influencing how the treat a couple. In most situations any recommendations by a counselor is not legally binding since they try to help couples to work through their problems. This means the difference is a counselor, if properly accredited, can provide the tools to work though the problems and a mediator makes recommendations based on listening to each side.

Moving on, each state varies in its laws regarding divorce and the requirements for divorces. I would suspect if you are claiming irreconcilable differences the judge might order mediation if there is not strong evidence that there has been an attempt to reconcile the differences. With that said, a marriage by law is a contract and it is governed by contract laws. A divorce is another way of saying breach of contract and asking the court to dissolve the contract, marriage. If the state does not have mediation laws regarding contract disputes before seeking a court ordered resolution then it is probable the state would not order mediation being done before issuing a divorce decree. If a judge requires counseling or mediation it will be during the time after you file for divorce and before the judge can dissolve the marriage.

In answer to your question, when it would ordered depends on the state's requirement for divorce, the judge, and the reason for divorce that is supported by evidence obtained. I suspect it would be sometime shortly after filing but significantly before the judge is ready to issue the decree. Best thing to do is to speak to your attorney and ask them, since they would be able to provide you with more specific information as it relates to your situation.