pandagirl87
Virgin
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2008
- Posts
- 9
Hello, this is my first time writing AT ALL, let alone on such a public space. I have the first chapter of my story finished and I would love to have an editor help me who also has some great ideas. I'm looking for someone who is as interested in my story as I am. I've pasted the first 400 words for you below so you can get a small idea of my writing style. This story will be about vampires and weres (werewolves, werelions, and were-something elses that I haven't thought of yet) with BDSM elements and some m/m and f/m/m.
You could almost say I'm looking for a co-author but I really want to do the writing portion alone to get the experience of it. I just need an outsiders view so I can get advice on my writing style and fill in any holes I may have missed. Any suggestions on story progression are more than welcome! I would definitely give tons of credit to anyone who can fill these shoes for me. Thanks for reading and if you are interested, send me a private message please.
Kris felt the urgent call in his head and ran to the front door. He could hear taunts from several male voices and looked out just in time to see the vampires’ prey dash into the dark. He heard a female voice cry out, a thump, and then quiet. Growling, he changed into a large brown wolf and leapt onto the lawn, avoiding the porch entirely. He almost slipped on the wet grass but quickly regained his footing.
The three vampires turned toward the threat and tried to surround him, forming a triangle. He dove at the one directing them, hoping to take out the leader first. He missed as the vampire jumped aside and turned to launch himself again when he was grabbed and thrown ten feet away. He landed on his side to try and break the fall. He rose to his feet and ran at them again, snapping his jaws to distract them from the female he needed to protect. He could still smell her close by. From the sound of things, she was probably unconscious. He couldn't hear her call anymore either. He tackled one of them to the ground without doing any real damage and took off after the one on his right.
“Dog,” came the shout from the open doorway. Kris tripped over his own paws in an effort to stop his attack abruptly and rolled to a skidding stop on his side. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
The young vampires relaxed and their eyes gleamed, smirking at him. Lord Richard was famous for his temper. Every vampire in five hundred miles knew to avoid him like he was made of daylight. When the anger was directed at someone else, however, it made for great entertainment; if you favored vicious and bloody. They all took several large steps back to leave room for the furious vampire.
Kris quickly shifted to human and got to all fours facing the house. Panting, he tried to explain, “Forgive me, Master. There were intruders on your property. I only wanted to protect you."
Lord Richard moved off the large porch surrounding the house to stand in front of him. Kris tensed, waiting for a strike to the head or possibly the kidneys. Those hurt the worst. “Well, it seems as a guard dog you are completely useless,” his owner replied, passing his eyes over the adolescent vampires, who immediately dropped eye contact.
You could almost say I'm looking for a co-author but I really want to do the writing portion alone to get the experience of it. I just need an outsiders view so I can get advice on my writing style and fill in any holes I may have missed. Any suggestions on story progression are more than welcome! I would definitely give tons of credit to anyone who can fill these shoes for me. Thanks for reading and if you are interested, send me a private message please.
Kris felt the urgent call in his head and ran to the front door. He could hear taunts from several male voices and looked out just in time to see the vampires’ prey dash into the dark. He heard a female voice cry out, a thump, and then quiet. Growling, he changed into a large brown wolf and leapt onto the lawn, avoiding the porch entirely. He almost slipped on the wet grass but quickly regained his footing.
The three vampires turned toward the threat and tried to surround him, forming a triangle. He dove at the one directing them, hoping to take out the leader first. He missed as the vampire jumped aside and turned to launch himself again when he was grabbed and thrown ten feet away. He landed on his side to try and break the fall. He rose to his feet and ran at them again, snapping his jaws to distract them from the female he needed to protect. He could still smell her close by. From the sound of things, she was probably unconscious. He couldn't hear her call anymore either. He tackled one of them to the ground without doing any real damage and took off after the one on his right.
“Dog,” came the shout from the open doorway. Kris tripped over his own paws in an effort to stop his attack abruptly and rolled to a skidding stop on his side. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
The young vampires relaxed and their eyes gleamed, smirking at him. Lord Richard was famous for his temper. Every vampire in five hundred miles knew to avoid him like he was made of daylight. When the anger was directed at someone else, however, it made for great entertainment; if you favored vicious and bloody. They all took several large steps back to leave room for the furious vampire.
Kris quickly shifted to human and got to all fours facing the house. Panting, he tried to explain, “Forgive me, Master. There were intruders on your property. I only wanted to protect you."
Lord Richard moved off the large porch surrounding the house to stand in front of him. Kris tensed, waiting for a strike to the head or possibly the kidneys. Those hurt the worst. “Well, it seems as a guard dog you are completely useless,” his owner replied, passing his eyes over the adolescent vampires, who immediately dropped eye contact.
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