Winter Fashion Nightmares (ACK!)

[3113]

Be afraid. Be very afraid. When even the models look bad in the latest fashions, you know something wrong. I mean, the world must be in a funk, because women's fashion this winter is nutty, strange and awful! In vogue this time around are fur (again), glittery-shiny--sequined materials, ruffles (shudder!), puffy, blowy sleeves, including "batwings" eek, a return to some 70's/early 80's hybrid (no, not the good stuff, the scary bad stuff!), and Southwestern Native American motifs (a cross between 80's retro and the rugged outdoors look that's still popular).

Oddly, the only fashion items that look good--and they actually look pretty great--are sweaters and coats.

Here's a sample--weird patterns:

http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/7/optimized/1248727_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/9/optimized/1242169_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg

Weird shapes:
http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/6/optimized/1239146_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/6/optimized/1241636_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/2/optimized/1229682_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg

70's/80's Frankenstein fashion:

http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/0/optimized/1241630_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/9/optimized/1241529_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/7/optimized/1248737_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg

 

[sr71plt]

Yes, and these weren't the worst I've seen. These at least can be worn out on the street without falling over in a ridiculous heap and/or being taken as a walking advertisement for a hotdog stand. CNN was carrying a report today that a trunk of designer samples has been stolen while en route to a London runway show and my reaction was "Why bother?"

 

[jomar]

Please let's not revisit the 80s. Even I know the decade was a fashion disaster.

 

[sr71plt]

I wonder why the beige skirt in the middle keeps making me think of the dust bowl years during the Great Depression.

 

[3113]

CNN was carrying a report today that a trunk of designer samples has been stolen while en route to a London runway show and my reaction was "Why bother?"

Maybe some brave hero was trying to keep them from reaching the stores

I wonder why the beige skirt in the middle keeps making me think of the dust bowl years during the Great Depression.

I knew I'd seen it somewhere!

And let's not forget the shoes:

http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/8/optimized/1216938_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/4/optimized/1199804_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/1/optimized/1205451_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/0/optimized/1189260_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg

When did pony play go mainstream? I know some find hooves on women sexy I think one needs the tail and reins to make them look right.

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

In vogue this time around are fur (again), glittery-shiny--sequined materials, ruffles (shudder!), puffy, blowy sleeves, including "batwings" eek, a return to some 70's/early 80's hybrid (no, not the good stuff, the scary bad stuff!), and Southwestern Native American motifs (a cross between 80's retro and the rugged outdoors look that's still popular).

So . . . I shouldn't admit that my Anthropologie addiction means I own clothing with many of these attributes (though my sleeves are always symmetrical, thanks)?

ETA: Oh, and I own no fur to speak of. My mother has been informed that her mink coat will be the first thing sold when she dies.

I wonder why the beige skirt in the middle keeps making me think of the dust bowl years during the Great Depression.

That is hideous. I own nothing even remotely close to that.

And I feel like I should throw in my yearly annoyance with Uggs in this thread.

When did pony play go mainstream? I know some find hooves on women sexy I think one needs the tail and reins to make them look right.

I think you should wander the streets with a tail and reins in hand, just in case you find the perfect woman.

 

[Handley_Page]

[ Tongue firmly in cheek ]

From a certain perspective there are one or two advantages to some of that gear. For example,
Wierd shape 3 (off the one shoulder) has the benefit of a clean shoulder to kiss gently at a suitable moment.
The bloody terrible beige (uh?) skirt (WS2) seems to be held up by elastic and is thus no problem to remove at a suitable time. (The hem line is an unmitigated disaster as is the colour IMO)
As to the 70/80s first one; Nice legs; shame about the shoes.

 

[3113]

I think you should wander the streets with a tail and reins in hand, just in case you find the perfect woman.

Given the current fashion trend in shoes, I don't think I'd have enough tails to pin on the many, er, ponies out there

 

[3113]

So . . . I shouldn't admit that my Anthropologie addiction means I own clothing with many of these attributes

So you've got the sparkly shorts:

http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/9/optimized/1234629_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg

(Holy Disco Roller Derby Batman!) and one of these tops?

http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/2/optimized/1236912_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/6/optimized/1226946_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/2/optimized/1201192_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/4/optimized/1184844_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

So you've got the sparkly shorts:

http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/9/optimized/1234629_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg

Change them to beige, and . . . yep!
Though only because I was Rollergirl for Halloween a long, long time ago.
Otherwise, I live a shorts-free existence.

(Holy Disco Roller Derby Batman!) and one of these tops?

http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/2/optimized/1236912_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/6/optimized/1226946_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/2/optimized/1201192_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeghttp://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/4/optimized/1184844_fpx.tif?bgc=255,255,255&wid=236&qlt=80,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg

None of those exact shirts, no, but something similar to the polka-dot number. And I've lost count of the number of frillier, less-severe versions of the fourth I own. I've never understood the appeal of the first or third.

You've lost whatever respect you ever had for me, haven't you?

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I liked the 80s, fashion and all. It was a fun, colorful, and interesting time.

 

[Handley_Page]

I liked the 80s, fashion and all. It was a fun, colorful, and interesting time.

Yes. My kids were grown up.

 

[3113]

You've lost whatever respect you ever had for me, haven't you?

I'm afraid so, but we understand it's not your fault. Anthropologie addiction is the fashion version of stockholm's syndrome We can only hope that, with changes in style, you won't subject yourself to such clothing for long

 

[3113]

Fashion History will long remember these...and not in good way

Look! Shetland Pony!

http://g-lvl3.nordstromimage.com/imagegallery/store/product/Medium/19/_6647999.jpg

Aggh! No! Flashback to that acid trip during a Fleetwood Mac Concert!

http://g-lvl3.nordstromimage.com/imagegallery/store/product/Medium/7/_6651667.jpg

Okay, explain this to me...a woman puts together an ensemble consisting of one of these retro-pimp boots (see below), along with sparkly leggings, a see-through chiffon top and a fur vest...

http://g-lvl3.nordstromimage.com/imagegallery/store/product/Medium/3/_6651363.jpghttp://g-lvl3.nordstromimage.com/imagegallery/store/product/Medium/5/_6651725.jpg

...am I the only one thinking she's going to look like a street walker from Baretta (remember Robert Blake and the cockatoo)?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm kind of digging the pony shoes. Heh.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Well, if those shoes do become amazingly popular, do you think that carrying around a set of reins and a tail would make a good pickup line? It seems unlikely from the male ursine point of view but if it would work . . .

 

[SlickTony]

Not suitable for tropical climates, these pony boots. I live in Florida and most of the time there's hardly a suitable day to wear them.

 

[TE999]

Y'know, the young woman on the third row left looks rather fetching in that skimpy frock.

Most of those other outfits look like thrift store rejects.

 

[estragon]

Anent the dust bowl skirt, in the immortal words of Gerald Kersh, it is a color that takes away your will to live. Tatyana, if you have it, please arrange for it to be stolen immediately. It does not deserve you. It will never deserve you.

 

[TE999]

Look! Shetland Pony!

http://g-lvl3.nordstromimage.com/imagegallery/store/product/Medium/19/_6647999.jpg

Aggh! No! Flashback to that acid trip during a Fleetwood Mac Concert!

http://g-lvl3.nordstromimage.com/imagegallery/store/product/Medium/7/_6651667.jpg

Okay, explain this to me...a woman puts together an ensemble consisting of one of these retro-pimp boots (see below), along with sparkly leggings, a see-through chiffon top and a fur vest...

http://g-lvl3.nordstromimage.com/imagegallery/store/product/Medium/3/_6651363.jpghttp://g-lvl3.nordstromimage.com/imagegallery/store/product/Medium/5/_6651725.jpg

...am I the only one thinking she's going to look like a street walker from Baretta (remember Robert Blake and the cockatoo)?

Hehehe ... "And dat's da name of dat tune." *squawk*

Holy crap! Those are the butt-ugliest goddamn shoes I have ever seen.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Second the motion . . . unless I can pick up some fetching young thing who craves to be tailed and harnessed!

 

[3113]

Second the motion . . . unless I can pick up some fetching young thing who craves to be tailed and harnessed!

Should be damn easy to catch and tag her if she's wearing those. I know some women who can run in high heels, but I think even they would have to take it easy and carefully in these weird platforms.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Should be damn easy to catch and tag her if she's wearing those. I know some women who can run in high heels, but I think even they would have to take it easy and carefully in these weird platforms.

Hmmm . . . "tagged and bagged" isn't a phrase I'm accustomed to seeing on a porn site but in this case it seems perfectly appropriate. "Catch and release" is another!