A question for my fellow females

[Farrah]

Hi ladies...

I was wondering how others deal with menstruation and masturbation/sex. Do you and your partner just plow through? Does it hurt? Do you play with yourself and ignore the mess? Or are you just too freaked out to go there, no matter how horny you are? The latter would be where I find myself today. This normally isn't an issue for me...I can got without sex or self-pleasuring for 4-5 days. But since joining Lit, my libido is in major overdrive. That doesn't mean I have to do anything about it...I can wait it out. I'm not even sure I could overcome the "icky factor" if I wanted to. But I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on the subject. Thanks in advance!

I'm not sure if I've posted this thread in the correct forum. If I haven't, I apologize.

 

[goodlife3738]

On light days, we just ' plow' through! We have a dark, thick towel that serves to protect the sheets. Or there is always shower sex... That's always fun! On very heavy days, I tend to just use a clitoral vibe for myself and give hubby a blow job. I would never let a little period blood stop me from sex! A high libido is a great thing, use it or lose it!
Goodie

 

[Farrah]

On light days, we just ' plow' through! We have a dark, thick towel that serves to protect the sheets. Or there is always shower sex... That's always fun! On very heavy days, I tend to just use a clitoral vibe for myself and give hubby a blow job. I would never let a little period blood stop me from sex! A high libido is a great thing, use it or lose it!
Goodie

Well, it's gonna fall to me. My guy is very open-minded and usually up for anything. But I can't get him to try period sex. It's just not gonna happen. And since I'm having trouble deciding if I should just take care of myself, I guess I understand where he's coming from. But thanks for the input!

 

[boredVAwife]

If I am just spotting or light I will play a bit but much heavier and I just don't seem to be in the right frame of mind. Like you I too can go for days at times with no need. My ex would not come near me with a 10 ft pole however if I even mentioned I was cramping. It just weirded him out to no end.

 

[Boundlife]

the shower is happy place

 

[bailadora]

Well, it's gonna fall to me. My guy is very open-minded and usually up for anything. But I can't get him to try period sex. It's just not gonna happen. And since I'm having trouble deciding if I should just take care of myself, I guess I understand where he's coming from. But thanks for the input!

I can understand some people being wierded out by period sex. They just don't want to deal with the mess. OTOH, I don't understand why being on your period means you can't masturbate (either solo or mutual). As long as you have a quick wash and fresh tampon or pad in place, you shouldn't really have to worry about blood.

 

[myorangelily]

I am always horny a few days before I start. Hubby won't do period sex, so I just use my vibe. I rarely get sex during the week, so its not really an issue until the weekend comes. If I'm still flowing I will usually give him a bj & use my vibrator on myself while he caresses me.

 

[sexiskye]

We just dont, and if hubby really wanted it I would blow him.

But my birth control is good I don't get them anymore, and it's not the pill

 

[Eilan]

I can understand some people being wierded out by period sex. They just don't want to deal with the mess. OTOH, I don't understand why being on your period means you can't masturbate (either solo or mutual). As long as you have a quick wash and fresh tampon or pad in place, you shouldn't really have to worry about blood.

Yeah, and for some women, orgasms can help alleviate cramping.

 

[Farrah]

Thanks for all the help ladies. I put my big girl panties on (took them off?) and went solo. And I enjoyed it very much. I didn't think it was icky at all.

 

[Fondelum]

the shower is happy place

Hi ladies.

My wife won't let me anywhere near her during her period.

 

[icandothis]

Hi ladies...

I was wondering how others deal with menstruation and masturbation/sex. Do you and your partner just plow through? Does it hurt? Do you play with yourself and ignore the mess? Or are you just too freaked out to go there, no matter how horny you are? The latter would be where I find myself today. This normally isn't an issue for me...I can got without sex or self-pleasuring for 4-5 days. But since joining Lit, my libido is in major overdrive. That doesn't mean I have to do anything about it...I can wait it out. I'm not even sure I could overcome the "icky factor" if I wanted to. But I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on the subject. Thanks in advance!

I'm not sure if I've posted this thread in the correct forum. If I haven't, I apologize.

Geez, I didn't think that was still an issue for people. My guy could care less, of course he doesn't want to be surprised so if I know it's around my expected time I let him know. He occasionally developes an uncontrollable urge to eat me during this time, in which case I just put in my diaphram, but aside from protecting the sheets/bed, nothing else really changes (except anal sex seems even more enjoyable). For me the benefit of masturbating or having sex during this time is that it makes me feel better, particularly if I'm a little crampy. The benefit for him is that right before and the first few days of my period I tend to be super, super horny, and literally can't keep my hands, mouth, pussy off of him.

I think it's a very good sign that a boy is becoming a man when the thought of a woman having her period changes from the "ugh" factor and is replaced by the "damn, I want to fuck this bitch right now" factor. The fact that she is menstruating may even excite him a little . . . you know that whole primal, animal, procreation thing. Subliminally menstruating becomes a definite signal that I'm ready for you to fuck and impregnate me . . . so get busy! And the male picks up on those signals.

 

[Farrah]

Geez, I didn't think that was still an issue for people. My guy could care less, of course he doesn't want to be surprised so if I know it's around my expected time I let him know. He occasionally developes an uncontrollable urge to eat me during this time, in which case I just put in my diaphram, but aside from protecting the sheets/bed, nothing else really changes (except anal sex seems even more enjoyable). For me the benefit of masturbating or having sex during this time is that it makes me feel better, particularly if I'm a little crampy. The benefit for him is that right before and the first few days of my period I tend to be super, super horny, and literally can't keep my hands, mouth, pussy off of him.

I think it's a very good sign that a boy is becoming a man when the thought of a woman having her period changes from the "ugh" factor and is replaced by the "damn, I want to fuck this bitch right now" factor. The fact that she is menstruating may even excite him a little . . . you know that whole primal, animal, procreation thing. Subliminally menstruating becomes a definite signal that I'm ready for you to fuck and impregnate me . . . so get busy! And the male picks up on those signals.

My boyfriend is sincerely one of the most open-minded people (male or female) I have ever known. He's also manly as hell. I respect that it's just not his thing. He doesn't say that I'm yucky or that he's afraid of my cooties. He just rubs my back, brings me an ice pack, and saves the sexy stuff for the other 25(ish) days of the month.

 

[icandothis]

My boyfriend is sincerely one of the most open-minded people (male or female) I have ever known. He's also manly as hell. I respect that it's just not his thing. He doesn't say that I'm yucky or that he's afraid of my cooties. He just rubs my back, brings me an ice pack, and saves the sexy stuff for the other 25(ish) days of the month.

Hmmm, my kind of man . . . I think I love mine even more when he shows his concern by doing the same things, back rub, ice pack, cup of tea, "how are you feeling baby". He has absolutely no idea how aroused those simple things can make me . Your guy sounds like a keeper!

 

[yuna1981]

Sounds like you worked things out just fine, but I just wanted to throw in something that's a factor for me. Certain positions hurt when I have my period, that don't hurt other times, doggy, for instance. Basically anything that gets him too deeply inside can be painful when I have my period.

 

[audiodiva]

Advice from mom

For those who do not know - I am the product of a TMI household

Since no one has mentioned it I will throw out mom's advice.

FWIW - Her experience, as someone with extremely heavy flow, was that using a tampon and removing it right before sex was enough to stop any mess.

 

[SweetErika]

Yeah, and for some women, orgasms can help alleviate cramping.

I'm not up for anything sexual when I'm in the throes of cramps, but I do find orgasms to be a fantastic natural remedy for hormonal headaches.

For those who do not know - I am the product of a TMI household

Since no one has mentioned it I will throw out mom's advice.

FWIW - Her experience, as someone with extremely heavy flow, was that using a tampon and removing it right before sex was enough to stop any mess.

That's one thing I've done in the past. I've also used an Instead Menstrual Cup, then removed it prior to PiV sex.

Interestingly enough, I find my flow slows WAY down or essentially stops during brief-to-moderately long (about an hour) sexual encounters and showers. So, while we usually put down a towel just in case, there has never been any mess. We typically go for mutual masturbation, but if we do have sex, a condom makes for super easy clean-up of any residual blood. The only things we both avoid during my period are deep penetration/hitting my cervix and oral sex on me.

 

[timurlenky]

I don't have a partner at the moment, but I usually just go for it. When I'm on my period my libido is usually higher so it drives me crazy not to. I actually have a slight period fetish if you could call it that because it turns me on all the more to do it this way.

I think one of the least messy techniques for masturbation would be (sorry if this description comes off as a little crude) to have a tampon in (I like using the heavy day ones when I masturbate) and focus on clitoral stimulation. That way cleanup is a lot easier. I find that when I do do vaginal penetration, the blood tends to not be as bad during the act but after orgasm it can get messy when you're taking out any toys. So whenever I do that I make sure I have a towel beneath me.

 

[Elaya]

I can use the shower, if it's mastrubation, then I use a Diva cup. Best $$ ever spent!! I'm incredibly lucky however, my guy just thinks it's natural, and goes for it. We shower together after, and use a thick black towel underneath. I'm much more disturbed by the mess than he is.

 

[Loverskitten]

Add me to the few of you who love it. During the first couple days I get ravenous for sex. I could never be with a man who won't touch me during those days. I'm extra sensitive, plus, I'm not a cutter or anything but the sight of that blood is an absolute turn on!
On a side note, back when I had a job as a waitress, I always got better tips during my period, like guys could smell it or something... "The boys! Yes first comes the blood and then come the boys – like sniffing dogs" -Carrie's Mother :O

 

[bhartibedi]

Hello VaGirl,

Many men and women worry that having sexual intercourse during a woman's period is unhealthy. Though frowned upon in many cultures and faiths, sexual intercourse during menstruation is entirely normal and completely healthy.

Worries about this act generally stem from societal misconceptions about menstrual blood: most girls are taught from a young age that their menstrual blood is unclean and "dirty," and therefore should be hidden and contained at all times. However, menstrual blood is an entirely natural bodily fluid, and does not in anyway affect a man's penis or a woman's reproductive tract. As long as neither person has a sexually transmitted disease or infection, it is entirely alright for you and your partner to have sex during your period.

If either partner has an STD, there is a higher risk of infection during menstruation. Sex can be made safer by using a condom during sexual intercourse. However, if either partner has an STD, it is safest not to have sex at all.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I have some of my best orgasms when we have sex and I'm on my period, and I'm certainly more horny than any other time of the month (unless I'm drunk on vodka - than I'm on overdrive) - we have showers and soap, so after sex, if it was super messy a quick shower takes care of the mess. Thick dark towels save the sheets, and all is well with the world.

 

[Farrah]

Wow. You ladies are a wealth of information. I sincerely mean that. As open as I am about sex and sexuality, my period has remained very taboo. I think Bharti Bedi honed in on it the best for me...I was raised to believe that it is a very private, semi-shameful ordeal. In school, elaborate, covert operations had to be planned to get a pad from my book bag to the bathroom. I was taught that menstruation should never be discussed in front of a man. I was told to "bathe extra-good" because there was sure to be a smell. And since my periods have always been very heavy, there were many times that I opted out of a sleepover or sporting event because I was terrified that I would spot on my clothes and never out-live the embarrassment. And obviously the overall mentality of menstruation being dirty and shameful has stuck with me. But I'm working on changing all that for myself. I really appreciate all the helpful ideas and opinions. And one last question...a couple of you mentioned a "cup." Can someone explain to me what that is, how it works, and how you get one? Is it an over-the-counter something-or-the-other?

Thanks again for the help!

 

[Eilan]

A "cup" is a product that is inserted to catch menstrual fluid. It generally forms a seal around/against the cervix, and while users' mileage may vary, a cup can often be worn for longer periods of time than a tampon. Cups also save money in the long run and generate less waste.

There are several options for menstrual cups, like the Instead, which is a soft disposable cup, and The Keeper, the Diva Cup, Moon Cup, etc., etc., which are more reusable. I've never used the Instead cups, but I'm pretty sure they can be worn during sex. The Diva Cup, which is what I own, can't be worn during sex, but you can masturbate while wearing it.

Here's a wonderful resource for anything you ever wanted to know (and probably a few things you didn't want to know) about menstrual cups.

 

[Farrah]

A "cup" is a product that is inserted to catch menstrual fluid. It generally forms a seal around/against the cervix, and while users' mileage may vary, a cup can often be worn for longer periods of time than a tampon. Cups also save money in the long run and generate less waste.

There are several options for menstrual cups, like the Instead, which is a soft disposable cup, and The Keeper, the Diva Cup, Moon Cup, etc., etc., which are more reusable. I've never used the Instead cups, but I'm pretty sure they can be worn during sex. The Diva Cup, which is what I own, can't be worn during sex, but you can masturbate while wearing it.

Here's a wonderful resource for anything you ever wanted to know (and probably a few things you didn't want to know) about menstrual cups.

Thank you so much providing the link. However, after a quick glance, I am already completely overwhelmed. I need to regroup and spend some time reading, I think. I've never even heard of a "cup." And wanna know what's really sad? I wouldn't know my cervix if it reached up and bit me. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt so young and confused about my body.

Can you tell me, do you find the cup to be comfortable? And what would you say the major pros and cons are? I know that I hate how frequently I have to change pads and how relatively little protection they provide for my undergarments. I first started my period 16 years ago, and you would think I would have mastered dealing with it by now, but I think that my bleeding has gotten heavier over the years, especially in the past two. It really does kind of take me out of the game for a couple of days every month.

One last question...can cups be found in with pads and tampons in a drug store?

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the advice and resources!