Feedback from women wanted

[K-Kwik]

Hi everyone. I've posted a couple of new stories recently and would love to hear feedback from women on the site. Guys often seem all too easy to please. I'd be really grateful for any thoughts from the women of Lit, either as comments on the stories themselves or in this thread. PMs would be fine too.

Thanks!

http://www.literotica.com/s/needs-8
http://www.literotica.com/s/heat-24

 

[PennLady]

On Needs -- I am a woman, but certainly can't speak for all of them. I didn't care for this. It was reasonably well-written, although there were a number of typos (Her head span?).

Still, I had no sympathy for anyone. John seemed like a psycho, Caluna was dithering, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to dress up like a pimp or a hooker. If you wanted the woman in sexy clothes, there had to be another way; that's a pretty tired thing.

I know some people saw this as her getting her comeuppance, but why? He might have been nice at first, but apparently he turned into a clingy jerk. Why should she stay with him? Especially if he can't take a hint, or take it without being a spoiled brat.

 

[PennLady]

On Heat -- again, well written but I don't actually like it. Perhaps I'm not supposed to.

 

[K-Kwik]

On Heat -- again, well written but I don't actually like it. Perhaps I'm not supposed to.

Taste is a curious thing. I worry slightly at how popular certain non-consent stories are with lots of guys (and don't even get me started on incest!) but I know a LOT of women with some pretty extreme fantasies of force.

 

[K-Kwik]

Thanks for the feedback though. The typos are frustrating. Rule One of Writing: it is impossible to properly proof-read your own work.

 

[PennLady]

Taste is a curious thing. I worry slightly at how popular certain non-consent stories are with lots of guys (and don't even get me started on incest!) but I know a LOT of women with some pretty extreme fantasies of force.

Yeah, I don't get the incest appeal, but whatever. People fantasize about a lot of things they wouldn't actually do.

One thing with me, just me, is I prefer some level of equality in the relationship, whether it's a one-night stand or long-term. And if the couple wants to involve BDSM or whatever, that's fine so long as it's consensual. So neither of your stories had that element and hence didn't appeal to me.

Thanks for the feedback though. The typos are frustrating. Rule One of Writing: it is impossible to properly proof-read your own work.

Yeah, it is. Especially when a spell-check will skip over words that are wrongly used but spelled correctly. I've heard various suggestions on how to proof -- read it aloud, change your font and color when you read -- and I'd say why not try it.

 

[K-Kwik]

My earlier stories are more obviously consensual and certainly more fun, I guess reflecting the kind of relationship I was in at the time. They're not as emotionally intense - basically just "stroke stories" for want of a better term - but I still like them for what they are. I think as I've got older, though, I've tried to explore more of the dark side and deal with the idea that sex doesn't always have a happy ending (or even a happy beginning.)