Dom/me ~ painting by numbers

[kimuk]

We all have our own individual idea of how our perfect Dom/me would be.

So what traits does your fantsay Dom/me have?

What do they need to bring to the party to make it happen for you?

What's on your wish list?

What physical , emotional and mental things do you crave to get your submissive juices flowing?

How can they handle you to enhance the dynamic?

Bascially - paint your perfect Dom/me by numbers ~ your bespoke dream, the flip side of your coin ..................................

 

[boy]

We are not our kinks

We all have our own individual idea of how our perfect Dom/me would be.

So what traits does your fantsay Dom/me have?

What do they need to bring to the party to make it happen for you?

What's on your wish list?

What physical , emotional and mental things do you crave to get your submissive juices flowing?

How can they handle you to enhance the dynamic?

Bascially - paint your perfect Dom/me by numbers ~ your bespoke dream, the flip side of your coin ..................................

Two things really:

One
Emasculation (a.k.a. humliation) is my kink, but not at all a lifestyle thing--just like to take my goodies out and play once in a while. so, although I know that I am not my kinks, in order for me to relax into my sub-space, I have to know that my partner understands that I am not my kink(s). Just not ready or willing to let someone I know on a day to day basis make that mistake about me. Now if it is annonymous sex, then, who gives a fuck I guess.

Two
Relaxed. A top who is too loud or too energetic is (to me) too reminiscent of a used car salesman / woman. Stern but calm tones, and relaxed body language.

And as for specific types of play, I guess you could look at my bio. if you want the laundry list--but slapping--face and C&B--is my favorite. I don't want any fillings knocked out of my teeth--not into too much pain--but a stern slap, or six, will do wonders as far as sending me into my sub-space.

 

[kimuk]

Two things really:

One
Emasculation (a.k.a. humliation) is my kink, but not at all a lifestyle thing--just like to take my goodies out and play once in a while. so, although I know that I am not my kinks, in order for me to relax into my sub-space, I have to know that my partner understands that I am not my kink(s). Just not ready or willing to let someone I know on a day to day basis make that mistake about me. Now if it is annonymous sex, then, who gives a fuck I guess.

Two
Relaxed. A top who is too loud or too energetic is (to me) too reminiscent of a used car salesman / woman. Stern but calm tones, and relaxed body language.

And as for specific types of play, I guess you could look at my bio. if you want the laundry list--but slapping--face and C&B--is my favorite. I don't want any fillings knocked out of my teeth--not into too much pain--but a stern slap, or six, will do wonders as far as sending me into my sub-space.

I wonder what is the subs make up that craves humliation? Although I'm not personally into that. Tried it and got the T-shirt (lol) and it ain't my thing.

However I totally agree with the calm tones and the relaxed body language. This works for me so well. I know he's in charge but not in an over the top aggressive way......funny what floats your boat?

 

[boy]

I wonder what is the subs make up that craves humliation? Although I'm not personally into that. Tried it and got the T-shirt (lol) and it ain't my thing.

However I totally agree with the calm tones and the relaxed body language. This works for me so well. I know he's in charge but not in an over the top aggressive way......funny what floats your boat?

Hey Kimuk ~

Your comments about 'humiliation' are pretty thought provoking for me. I often get the feeling that the word has a different meaning for every person. I don't pretend to understand the female experience of it, or what would even constitute 'humiliation' for any given woman--though I would like to understand.

I have started using the word 'emasculation' more as a descriptor for my own kink. Because whatever robs me of my "Masculine" status is what translates as humilating in my brain. I don't know whether it is biology, genetic, or culturally learned, or a combination, or what--but for me, and I think(?) generally for men--a 'loss of face' implies, on some level, a loss of status in the eyes of another, (which on a good day is someone who is 'Topping' us) and the emotional response is what we experience as 'humiliation'.

So at least in our culture (I'm guessing as I'm going here) men widely associate subordinate behavior with a loss of face / status, and when it happens to them it is humiliating.

But often folks hear me apply the term to my own kinks, and they picture all sorts of really bizzare scenes--involving goats, lots of machinery, most of the food groups, and of course, the ever-popular spatula. For me its just the submission, the act of subordinating myself that is all I really need. Nothing wrong with props--just not my thing I guess.

My guess would be that the things that trigger the 'humiliation' emotion are pretty different for men and women in general--but I don't really know.

But that still leaves the $20,000.00 question--Why or how does the emotion of humiliation get sexualized in some folks--and not at all in others??? If you ever figure this one out, please PM me, stat!

And if you are inclined, I'd love to know what to you (and women generally, if you care to speculate) is fundmental to humiliation. Is it any different than what I'm suggesting about men?

 

[kimuk]

Hey Kimuk ~

Your comments about 'humiliation' are pretty thought provoking for me. I often get the feeling that the word has a different meaning for every person. I don't pretend to understand the female experience of it, or what would even constitute 'humiliation' for any given woman--though I would like to understand.

I have started using the word 'emasculation' more as a descriptor for my own kink. Because whatever robs me of my "Masculine" status is what translates as humilating in my brain. I don't know whether it is biology, genetic, or culturally learned, or a combination, or what--but for me, and I think(?) generally for men--a 'loss of face' implies, on some level, a loss of status in the eyes of another, (which on a good day is someone who is 'Topping' us) and the emotional response is what we experience as 'humiliation'.

So at least in our culture (I'm guessing as I'm going here) men widely associate subordinate behavior with a loss of face / status, and when it happens to them it is humiliating.

But often folks hear me apply the term to my own kinks, and they picture all sorts of really bizzare scenes--involving goats, lots of machinery, most of the food groups, and of course, the ever-popular spatula. For me its just the submission, the act of subordinating myself that is all I really need. Nothing wrong with props--just not my thing I guess.

My guess would be that the things that trigger the 'humiliation' emotion are pretty different for men and women in general--but I don't really know.

But that still leaves the $20,000.00 question--Why or how does the emotion of humiliation get sexualized in some folks--and not at all in others??? If you ever figure this one out, please PM me, stat!

And if you are inclined, I'd love to know what to you (and women generally, if you care to speculate) is fundmental to humiliation. Is it any different than what I'm suggesting about men?

I have extreamly limited personal experiance and only the on line variety, so your asking the wrong person lol.

I only know that allowing myself to submit to the humiliating punishments that were dished out made me feel very "owned" if that the right word?

However they also made me feel very unhappy. So it didn't do it for me in the long run. But an interesting experiance

 

[graceanne]

Well, if we get to dream ....

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h284/graceanne1978/lit%20images/gibbs.jpg

or

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h284/graceanne1978/lit%20images/picard.jpg

rawr

 

[bhndblueyes88]

graceanne, i can go with the first one, but Picard? He's so...SPINDLY. I like me men with some MEAT.
kimuk, it's hard for me to describe to you the "perfect dom", because I've only had my boyfriend and I love him very much. So it clouds my judgement. But here's the best I can think of:

Physically powerful, not necessarily BIG. I've been attracted to some pretty small guys. Then, of course, that calm and sure confidence that others have spoken of. Sorry, berk, but the louder you blow, the more I think you're full of hot air and lacking any real substance. I want a dom that will rule me once that bedroom door shuts, but won't take it any further, beyond what we mutually agree on for a given situation. I'm so independent and just the thought of 24/7 being "less" than a man sets my hair on edge. Don't tell me how to live my life, just be in my life with me, y'know?

Of course, that's just for guys. I'm not going to go into my preferences for females because I have zero experience with it and it's all up in my head, and it's really rather moot anyways, so why bother even thinking about it. (I.e. my brain loves to think about it when I go to sleep and I really don't need to remind it so sshhhh tiptoe away quietly)

 

[graceanne]

graceanne, i can go with the first one, but Picard? He's so...SPINDLY. I like me men with some MEAT.

I don't have a physical type. I've dated guys who are over a foot taller than me (I'm 5' tall) to my hubby who's only nearly a foot taller than me (he's 5' 9"). I've had crushes on skinny guys and chubby guys and everywhere in between. It's the characters that turn me on. Quiet, powerful, in control, and ... grouchy. Yes, I admit it - grouchy men turn me on - I do not know why. Whenever Gibbs or Picard growl at someone or give them an annoyed look I just wanna jump them right there. I think it's one of those 'hot in fantasy' things cause K's a grouch and, while he's hot, it doesn't turn me on to have him get grouchy with me, it just annoys me.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I don't have a physical type. I've dated guys who are over a foot taller than me (I'm 5' tall) to my hubby who's only nearly a foot taller than me (he's 5' 9"). I've had crushes on skinny guys and chubby guys and everywhere in between. It's the characters that turn me on. Quiet, powerful, in control, and ... grouchy. Yes, I admit it - grouchy men turn me on - I do not know why. Whenever Gibbs or Picard growl at someone or give them an annoyed look I just wanna jump them right there. I think it's one of those 'hot in fantasy' things cause K's a grouch and, while he's hot, it doesn't turn me on to have him get grouchy with me, it just annoys me.

Gibbs does have an amazing growl... I'm kind of inbetween. I mean, I definitely have a physical type I guess, but it's pretty flexible. It just happens to be that "spindly" tends to fall outside that range. That and Picard is just bloody OLD to me, and he reminds me of a younger version of my late great grandfather. so That's part of the problem with Picard specifically It could just be that particular photo too. And of course, I say this, and one of my high school crushes for a short time was this INCREDIBLY spindly kid who was funny. so there you go...

But we can totally get on the Gibbs-gravy-train. Gibbs is sexy hot.

 

[graceanne]

Gibbs does have an amazing growl... I'm kind of inbetween. I mean, I definitely have a physical type I guess, but it's pretty flexible. It just happens to be that "spindly" tends to fall outside that range. That and Picard is just bloody OLD to me, and he reminds me of a younger version of my late great grandfather. so That's part of the problem with Picard specifically It could just be that particular photo too. And of course, I say this, and one of my high school crushes for a short time was this INCREDIBLY spindly kid who was funny. so there you go...

But we can totally get on the Gibbs-gravy-train. Gibbs is sexy hot.

I tend to go for older guys. K is 9 years older than me, which isn't a big deal now that we're 33 and 42, but when we were 18 and 27 it raised a few eyebrows. I can't think of many guys under 40 that do anything for me and quite a few over 50 who flat out do it for me - maturity is a huge turn on. There are a few guys who I think are sexy, but if given the chance I'd most likely pat them on the head and annoy them my refusing to acknowledge there manhood.

And that's the other thing, guys don't have to handsome to be sexy as far as I'm concerned. I've crushed on quite a few 'homely' guys just cause they're so flipping SEXY.

 

[switchbitch]

We all have our own individual idea of how our perfect Dom/me would be.
my Master
So what traits does your fantsay Dom/me have?
bighearted, kind and firm with a heavy sprinkling of naughty , nasty and sadistic.

What do they need to bring to the party to make it happen for you?
he just needs to breathe in my general vicinity or hearing and I am instantly wet.
What's on your wish list?
anything that he wants

What physical , emotional and mental things do you crave to get your submissive juices flowing?
his touch, his heart, his thoughts

How can they handle you to enhance the dynamic?
used harshly with no quarter given

Bascially - paint your perfect Dom/me by numbers ~ your bespoke dream, the flip side of your coin ...................in a single word Master...............

living the fantasy

 

[switchbitch]

it is not his outward appearance that makes him perfect, even though that is Fucking hot, it is what is behind his eyes and between his earsthat turns me too mush

 

[kimuk]

it is not his outward appearance that makes him perfect, even though that is Fucking hot, it is what is behind his eyes and between his earsthat turns me too mush

My perfect Dom is a little older then me. He knows when to push and when to hold back. He reads me so well. Perfect in person. Takes my breath away at times. Knows when I have asked form something as a fantasy which is impossible to translate to reality. Gives the most passionate kisses. makes me feel good about my self and has my constant devotion.

Thats right . Its YOU Sir xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx