Siblings with Benefits The Beginning

[lovecraft68]

Not sure why I never thought of posting on here, but better late than never. MY Siblings with Benefits series which I started last May is drawing to a close and this is the chapter I have always been most curious about.

SWB started with CH 1 featuring Mark and Megan in their 30,s. The series then details of their 20 year relationship as siblings with benefits as well as Megan's battling her drug addiction and Mark's episodes of violent behavior and mental illness.

In May I released a "prologue" which is what I am posting here. I did not "lead" with this as I was knew to Lit and did not know how it would go over seeing there is no actual incest.

By the time the fans of the series read it they were already heavily invested in the series and it went over well.

My question here is for people who perhaps have not read it. If this was the chapter you were starting at would you be intrigued enough to continue to Chapter 1? One warning, this was written in a phase I was between editors and the grammar is not quite as good as it could be.

http://www.literotica.com/s/siblings-with-benefits-how-it-began

Let me know what you think.

 

[Penelope Street]

My question here is for people who perhaps have not read it. If this was the chapter you were starting at would you be intrigued enough to continue to Chapter 1? One warning, this was written in a phase I was between editors and the grammar is not quite as good as it could be.

This piece didn't hold my interest for long. I found it a dry read with way too much telling. At times, it felt more like I was reading a story's summary instead of an actual story. I can see how the plot might work, but the style kept me at an emotional distance. Does that make sense?

P.S.
I can't recall any serious issues with your grammar.

 

[LaRascasse]

As big a fan as I am of the series, I wouldn't like to read this chapter first. I enjoyed reading them in the order in which they were submitted. The nonlinear narrative was quite riveting. There are plenty of chronological stories out there, but this one is different because it shifts back and forth between experiences and recollections. Hope this made sense.........

 

[lovecraft68]

This piece didn't hold my interest for long. I found it a dry read with way too much telling. At times, it felt more like I was reading a story's summary instead of an actual story. I can see how the plot might work, but the style kept me at an emotional distance. Does that make sense?

P.S.
I can't recall any serious issues with your grammar.

It make sense especially as the new editor I recently acquired has gotten me to work on the show don't tell aspect of my style.

Thank you for your input it is appreciated.