Theology and Potential MMF, i have a dilema.

[gamescanbefun12]

Hello everyone. As the title states, I have a dilema. See I am a Christian which is not the problem. The problem is that in recent history, approximately 2 years, I have been developing this fantasy where my gf, well now my wife, is involved with a threesome with me and a former lover of hers. I get so turned on thinking about her getting screwed by another man even getting cummed in and then I have sex with her afterwards. It's really hot in my head and my wife is completely on board with it and we have someone in mind, but I get cold feet after the initial excitement has passed. I mean we made holy vows before Go d not to be with anyone else. That means something. Right? Is there any Christians on here who might have some insight? Thanks for the future responses.

 

[gregy70]

If she's on board & it's something you both want to do together than I wouldn't have a problem at all. Lucky Guy!

 

[twister947]

Beg to differ...Christianity IS the problem, here. I can't wait to see how this gets rationalized.

 

[klippert]

Christianity is NOT the problem. It has given him a moral compass. On the other hand. Christianity gives man free will. It is up to you to make the choices that direct you in life.

Me personally, devote in my faith. If the Mrs was on board for a MFM.....I'm IN. Hell if she just was on board for sex.....I'd be in full on.

 

[gamescanbefun12]

Honestly, there is no real justification for having a threesome, if you have Belief or not. A vow was made, that should not be broken. If it did not turn me on so much thinking about her being with another man and him cumming in her and then her coming home to me with a pussy full of cum or doing the act at the same time this would not be a problem man do I want this though.

 

[Joankraig]

Honestly, there is no real justification for having a threesome, if you have Belief or not.

Actually, the justification (if that's the right word) is that nothing is more erotic - for everyone - than a threesome.

 

[gamescanbefun12]

Joan
First off, love the pictures. You are quite the woman! I think that I might just leave it fantasy, I am not 100% yet either way. I know that it would be so freakin' hot to do one but what of the aftermath? Do we continue doing them? Does she start doing them with the guy without me? Obviously boundaries would need to be set in place beforehand but what does your husband think despite the physical side of it. Does he enjoy the attentions you get? I would be interested in hearing about your first time?

 

[Boundlife]

I mean we made holy vows before Go d not to be with anyone else. That means something. Right? Is there any Christians on here who might have some insight? Thanks for the future responses.

The reason there are so many denominations of christianity is because of the different interpretations of scripture. I'm sure arguments could be found for both for and against. (but with the patriarch horndogs FFM would be easier to justify )

I think what it boils down to is your relationship with God and each other. You wouldn't be asking this if you didn't have a conscience. So in the words of Jimminy Cricket "Let your conscience be your guide" (sounds corny but it works ) Only you know if this could work for you

Theology is tricky, how else could so many wars be fought in the name of the Lord.

 

[subme01]

This is really interesting. Desire v belief. I know a gay CofE vicar. He has a long term partner. Many Christians would condemn him but he has reconciled his sexuality with his belief in God. I'm not equating something as fundamental and inherent in a person as their sexuality with a desire for a threesome, but what I do think is that you should do what you feel you can reconcile with your faith, regardless of what the Bible says, it's what you BELIEVE that's important. And there is polygamy/polyamoury in the Bible (particularly in terms of surrogacy).

IMHO I'd say do what you feel is right for YOU. Be careful not to hide behind religion to mask any insecurities/fears, but at the same time, don't do anything you can't live with.

I'd be really interested to hear how this turns out.

 

[gamescanbefun12]

I appreciate what you are saying. Not justifying anything but david and his son solomn had in the Bible, had what a few hundred wives? So whats my fantasy? Lol. This bears considering? Any other thoughts?

 

[justherhusband]

I'm not really sure how this is a religious or theological issue. I've never heard vows in any wedding I've ever been to that said the couple would only have sex with each other and no one else.

What I have heard in every wedding I've attended, including my own, were vows to remain faithful to, and to cherish and love each other as long as you both shall live. So if you're doing this together, with full consent and in a loving atmosphere I don't see how it's anything to be considered unfaithful. To the contrary, it seems like one of the most loving and cherishing acts I could think of, to enable her to experience something so beautiful and pleasurable. I would consider it to be totally consistent with your vows so long as you're both truly into it.

Just my view. Actually, I would love for my wife to be interested in it, but I'm not going to try to pressure her or coerce her into something she's not completely comfortable with. I would want it to be about fulfilling her desires, not her agreeing to fulfil a fantasy of mine just to get me off her back.

 

[readinggp]

It's really hot in my head and my wife is completely on board with it and we have someone in mind.

I can't comment much on the religion part but a lot of guys would love to be in your shoes that yourr wife is game...

 

[gamescanbefun12]

I think about this all the time. I was talking with the wife again about it and she loves the idea of two men pleasing her. We just might do it someday lol thanks so much for everyones comments

 

[kreampye]

I don't think the vow is the main problem. You two made it, and you two, by mutual consent, can change it, same as a promise to pay back $100 by December 1, *between those who made it.*
God witnessed your mutual promises, he didn't impose them. You married *each other* 'in the sight of God' as the ceremony reads.

Further, what 'faithful' means is to be determined by you two, and can be changed by you two. Committed, open, honest, and pledged not to do anything the spouse fundamentally objects to.

The vow to 'forsake all others', again, can be modified *by those two* to mean 'forsake clandestine relations with all others and with any others not approved by my spouse'.

I think the main problem is the NT teaching of one man and one woman. And I think there is a temperance issue, here. But I suppose if gay Christians can dance around or re interpret these texts, so can those wishing 3-somes.

 

[Que]

This is really interesting. Desire v belief. I know a gay CofE vicar. He has a long term partner. Many Christians would condemn him but he has reconciled his sexuality with his belief in God. I'm not equating something as fundamental and inherent in a person as their sexuality with a desire for a threesome, but what I do think is that you should do what you feel you can reconcile with your faith, regardless of what the Bible says, it's what you BELIEVE that's important. And there is polygamy/polyamoury in the Bible (particularly in terms of surrogacy).

IMHO I'd say do what you feel is right for YOU. Be careful not to hide behind religion to mask any insecurities/fears, but at the same time, don't do anything you can't live with.

I'd be really interested to hear how this turns out.

I'm not really sure how this is a religious or theological issue. I've never heard vows in any wedding I've ever been to that said the couple would only have sex with each other and no one else.

What I have heard in every wedding I've attended, including my own, were vows to remain faithful to, and to cherish and love each other as long as you both shall live. So if you're doing this together, with full consent and in a loving atmosphere I don't see how it's anything to be considered unfaithful. To the contrary, it seems like one of the most loving and cherishing acts I could think of, to enable her to experience something so beautiful and pleasurable. I would consider it to be totally consistent with your vows so long as you're both truly into it.

Just my view. Actually, I would love for my wife to be interested in it, but I'm not going to try to pressure her or coerce her into something she's not completely comfortable with. I would want it to be about fulfilling her desires, not her agreeing to fulfil a fantasy of mine just to get me off her back.

Its discussions like this that amaze me about lit...i thought this would be instantly attacked by those who talk about tollerance but cant appreciate a point of view of those that are devout...I used to be but am less and less so lately.

 

[Stella_Omega]

i thought this would be instantly attacked by those who talk about tollerance but cant appreciate a point of view of those that are devout.

I admit, I had nothing to say about this subject, since I have not one shred of devoutness in my entire personality, it doesn't make sense to me. I've been watching the thread to see what other people have to say.

 

[Little Bird]

I am so frank to call myself a bit of an expert here. Not on christian theology, but I studied the sociology of religions.

And my academic experience is, that religion is always a product of it's time. The rules that are found in religions what people are allowed to do or are forbidden, are usually not based on the theology of the religion, but on the social norms of the people who wrote down those rules. When you research the history of a huge number of religious "laws" that seem redicolous, you often end up thinking "well, under those circumstances at that time, it kind of made sense."

When you look at religious scripture, you find a lot of things that nobody does anymore and that seem just insane. I think the only thing from Leviticus that ever gets quoted to justify anything is the ban on homosexual sex, everything else is just way too crazy for anyone to think that those rules should be followed in this day and age. And that's not just us faithless "former christians" in Europe, you find the very same thing in Islam as well. What we today think of as ultra-conservative islam is actually a puritan movement that is just 100 years old. Before that, the islamic world was much more liberal and progressive.
And if you do believe that the bible is true and must be followed, there are plenty of cases in which characters in the bible have several women, but from what I now there's not a single verse in which god says "from now on a man can only have a single wife". Which for me would be proof that any rule that says such a thing had been invented by people after the bible was made. If god had made that law, it would have been included.

But that's an academic oppinion, now to be own religious view.
As I see it, religion is not about what you do and how you do things, but a guideline for how you make descisions and what is right or wrong. The important part is having faith in what your heart, soul, or whatever is telling you. Do not believe in the words of people who claim they speak on authority of a higher power. If they speak the truth, you'll see the same thing when you look inside yourself. But there are so many conflicting oppinions out there that in the case that there is one real truth, 99% of them tell something wrong. Since you can't tell which one tells the real truth and who is wrong, the only thing you can trust is faith in your own ability to tell right from wrong.

What we think what marriage should be is based on what our societies have figured out is the way that works best for most people. And since it's most common that people in a relationship don't want each other to have sex with anyone else, this is the default rule for marriage. But marriage is not about following a set of arbitrary rules, it's about making sure two people don't hurt each others feelings and their relationship. So if both talk it through and are really okay with it, I think every couple is free to change the rules to something that works better for their own individual relationship.

 

[noequal03]

Most Christians, and certainly most Christian ministers, regardless of which denomination, would interpret, "forsaking all others" in the wedding vows to mean that you only have sex with each other.

The other practical issue is to be careful what you wish for. As exciting as this may seem in your imagination, or in literotica stories, the reality may not live up to your fantasies. You run the risk that she might like it, and decide to start seeing him without you there, to the ultimate destruction of your marriage. Once you start down this road in reality, you can quickly lose control over the outcome.

You can play all kinds of fantasy games if she is wiling that will give you the excitement and satisfaction, but does not risk the reality of ruining your marriage, or breaking your vows.

 

[lonelonghorn]

God doesn't care if another man bangs your wife. Really.

 

[Boundlife]

When you look at religious scripture, you find a lot of things that nobody does anymore and that seem just insane.

So if a woman tries to stop her husband from being beaten and grabs the genital of his attacker, her hand shouldn't be cut off?
(I love that one, it makes you wonder if it was a wide spread problem or one specific case )
*Deuteronomy 25:11-12

 

[gamescanbefun12]

I do not believe that if the 3 some would happen that she would ultimately start seeing him agaun without me unless of course that was part of the fantasy too. This is a tricky part for me. Forsaking all others is seemingly cut and dry however if we both are sexually satisfied in our marriage as well as being content with the other aspects of the marriage and we do a threesome and those things do not change then I think we would be fine. But assuming something will not happen is foolish as well. More things to contemplate. Thanks everyone



Ps. Leviticus is strange indeed. Lol

 

[Jringo21]

I don't think christianity or religion has anything to do with it. If you and your wife are into it, then it should be something you consider. I would be more concerned with the dealing issues that might arise after the deed is done. I have the same fantasy and have participated in MMF, and MFF situations in past relationships. Dealing with the emotions and feelings that will come afterwards would is what I would worry about.

Who ever said "God doesn't care if someone bangs your wife"........classic.

 

[Boundlife]

I don't think christianity or religion has anything to do with it. Dealing with the emotions and feelings that will come afterwards would is what I would worry about.

The OP is saying that this issue is already causing feeling that need delt with that would be worse after. So he is doing just what you said faith is a part of you and people can't be divided

 

[nakedtraveler]

Really interesting thread.

 

[abella117]

The bible has meant so many things to so many people in so many ways. Take incest for instance. Its forbidden. It says so in the bible.

So, along comes Lot, who not only fucks his own daughters, but impregnates them as well. Now God, instead of punishing him for his transgressions, he blesses their offspring.

So, if your damning your soul cause you would like a threesome, I'm sure God wont smite you off the face of the earth, or condemn your soul to the burning pits of hell.