How do you wipe your ass if you're really fat?

[Absolute_Kaos]

How ?

 

[mynameisben]

How ?

If they knew where you sent your suits for dry cleaning, I'm certain they would find a way.

 

[ofLebanon]

How ?

Well, if you're married to a woman who knows you will hurt her if she doesn't obey, she wipes it for you.

 

[Cameo_Fleur]

I remember reading diet/fitness guru Susan Powter's book a few years back. She wrote about a man who was "so fat he couldn't clean himself. His wife had to do it for him."

I've heard of "for better or for worse" and this is in the waaaaaay worse category!

 

[ofLebanon]

I remember reading diet/fitness guru Susan Powter's book a few years back. She wrote about a man who was "so fat he couldn't clean himself. His wife had to do it for him."

I've heard of "for better or for worse" and this is in the waaaaaay worse category!

I believe my ex after the divorce found a device that allowed him to clean himself. I really didn't care at that point and didn't get details.

 

[LindsayRae]

So, who let the troll out today?

 

[SweetErika]

I was at a medical supply store getting some cheap ice packs the other day, and noticed they have sticks/tools for aiding just about every type of activity. I saw sponges and lotion dispensers on sticks, but they probably had some tool for wiping as well.

But we also just installed a bidet toilet seat, which pretty much eliminates the need for toilet paper (I suppose it could totally eliminate it, but the drying function takes a long time, its area is fairly small and it's more efficient to go the traditional route when peeing). Someone who had an issue that prevented comfortable wiping would probably do quite well with one of the bidet seats.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I don't know how anyone else handles it, but I usually just scootch around the neighbors front yard when their not looking.

BTW, I'm no fat, I just don't like my neighbors!

 

[Carnevil9]

You use one of these:

http://hosting07.imagecross.com/image-hosting-10/25285.jpg

 

[Absolute_Kaos]

So, who let the troll out today?

I bet the neighbors make this statement every time they see your ugly face

Why else would you use a cartoon for your AV instead of your real face?

No need to reply. We know it's true.

 

[Fmature2play]

She has posted her face (tho I don't see yours) and is attractive. Sooooo mr smarty pants when do we see you??

 

[LindsayRae]

Thanks Fmature. The troll is just roaming Lit. Guess the general board got boring.

 

[Absolute_Kaos]

She has posted her face (tho I don't see yours) and is attractive. Sooooo mr smarty pants when do we see you??

How can you be sure it was her and not a pic that came with his wallet?

Thanks Fmature. The troll is just roaming Lit. Guess the general board got boring.

You smell like doodie

 

[karabrown]

Use the toilet brush?

 

[Ex Princess]

How ?

I hope you figure it out soon. Must be getting stinky in there!

 

[bailadora]

I don't know how anyone else handles it, but I usually just scootch around the neighbors front yard when their not looking.

BTW, I'm no fat, I just don't like my neighbors!

*wipes off monitor*

Dammit, Nip! Post a spit-take alert, why doncha?

 

[NippleMuncher]

*wipes off monitor*

Dammit, Nip! Post a spit-take alert, why doncha?

I KNEW you were going to say that.

Apparently my EWS is on the fritz. Care to come over and give me an adjustment?

 

[bailadora]

Apparently my EWS is on the fritz. Care to come over and give me an adjustment?

EWS? I'm not familiar with that term.

 

[NippleMuncher]

EWS? I'm not familiar with that term.

Early Warning System - aka STA, or "spit take alert" to the layman (or laywoman, as it were ).

So is that a yes for helping me with an adjustment?

 

[danigrl84]

This thread has made me giggle lots.

 

[bailadora]

Early Warning System - aka STA, or "spit take alert" to the layman (or laywoman, as it were ).

So is that a yes for helping me with an adjustment?

Given what I know of your style, your name attached to a post ought to be warning enough. I should know to automatically set down my drink before reading it.

That's what I get for letting my guard down.

As for the adjustment....all depends. Do I get to use my pretty purple rope?

 

[NippleMuncher]

Given what I know of your style, your name attached to a post ought to be warning enough.

One would think, wouldn't one?

As for the adjustment....all depends. Do I get to use my pretty purple rope?

You can use your pretty purple rope if I get to use my pretty leather paddle.

 

[Texguy84]

How ?

"Need answer fast!"

 

[Boundlife]

Open Troll Season my favorite time of year

 

[Sam231]

Isn't it obvious?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJQEl5vcAo