Fear does a body good?

Licia

Literotica Guru
Joined
Aug 7, 2011
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804
Pain/pleasure reminds me of cinnamon. I wonder if others find fear inticing? Obviously, fearing for one's life doesn't fit into this equation (Perhaps, muwahaha :devil:). What I'm eluding to is the basal sort of fear which can come out in orchestrated play. Never have I demanded or expected that my hubby should fear me; however, something happened during one of our sessions when he was bound. He trembled admitting plainly that he was scared. Normally, a reaction like this would be a show stopper, but I held him close and assured that I wouldn't hurt him. Calmed and comforted, he still was wary of the unknown. He told me it was the first time he's ever realized that bondage does, infact, leave one naked and vulnerable to their partner. We both found it exciting. *stuffs the sadist back into her cage*

Anyway, with Halloween creeping I thought I share a very short scare with anyone else so inclined. Horror flicks, what's not fun about that? (Hopefully, my link will work.)
 
Years ago a lover tied me because she wanted to whip my bits with a cat-o-nine-tails. What a rush.......when I realized she really could hurt me bad with the wrong swing in the right place. Fear.....ah yeeaaaa!

Fear and trust can be tough to balance. Mind games.
 
tocur: *chuckles* glad it was amusing.

OhioRob said:
Fear and trust can be tough to balance. Mind games.
Mmmhmm, deliciously delicate, no doubt.

We've been together for a long time, so I really do not comprehend how folks could do enact this sort of play through a scene with strangers. Those sentiments only stem from my own trust issues, not judgements about how or why others partake.

As bondage continues, he assures me that he does consent to domination and punishment. Beginning stages being what they always are, I tried my best to prepare him for the psychological impact. While he agreed to bondage (and was excited by the prospect) his cultural upbringing served him no good purpose in regards to the male being ultimately superior in physical strength. I knew it would shake his foundation. I addressed this prior, but the impression was received: "she's too little/weak to be dangerous, and I'm a big dude!" *smirks* Fun, fun.

Another instance of fear arose with the use of the gag because it was used as an real time punishment for sass: "if you cannot figure out what a mouth is for I've no use for it, and that makes me unhappy." The silencer was removed after I decided the point was made.

We make time to talk after intense rounds. I caution him over sub-drop as I desire mine to be happy. I don't want him miserable.

He begs me for the collar. I tell him it will never happen until his ego is mine. *plans more training*

I don't want to break him. Thoughts?
 
Anyway...

My poor lovie has an ingrown hair in a sensitive area. I intend to address the thorn.

*chuckles*

The "task bank" thread proded something creative. *blinks* Need to meander over yonder and contribute, methinks...It's just luck that the wild hair exists. *grins at the dual meaning*

So what's the point of this thread? To degrade and humiliate my hubby? A plea for attention? Nope. I am asking the community to offer advice, if they are so inclined. My town is miniscule.

Cooking up my own material, I've the utmost concern for my husband. It is my intention to dominate him to the best of my ability since it aligns with our mutual kink. I would like to hear POV's from each end of the spectrum. Help me?

I hope to accomplish dialogue on scenes I visualize, and carefully evaluate efforts to reinforce his sense of value and well-being.
 
Major fear kink. Never would want to touch anything like it with a ten foot pole IRL, but I do write some erotic stories where the "disadvantaged" is often fearing for their life.

Nothing cuts through the fog of lethargy like a good scare!
 
Major fear kink. Never would want to touch anything like it with a ten foot pole IRL, but I do write some erotic stories where the "disadvantaged" is often fearing for their life.

Nothing cuts through the fog of lethargy like a good scare!

Ooo, I'll have to take a gander at your "horror" stories. Linky, please?:rose: Hah, just noticed it in your sig!

The "dark" file is finally becoming a real life playground. Sometimes I wonder if it's normal for a sadist to fear her own kink for fear. Knowing my own capabilities, 'tis rather like mind-fucking myself? :eek: *snorts a laugh*
 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGpZhfDCQkg

I plan to send this to him via pm on facebook as a means of preperation for what the ugly side of the collar can represent. I want him to hold no delusion or Disney(tm) romantical notion about a swath of leather and metal decorating his throat. Already, I have warned him that I would seduce him into submission which will follow into consented slavery. *side glance*

Hehe! I anticipate the "scare" as much as I do the conversation and release.

Anyway...*recollects self*

Jokes and arousal aside, I intend on this path because if we really are going to the opera, I would hope that the stage becomes covered in roses and endless calls of 'encore' echo through our minds. Will he trust me enough to love me for everything I am? Will he love the dark in company with the light? *blinks*

Huh. Which reminds me of this evening's session: the lights dimmed and foreplay into full-swing, his hips rose which are a definite signal for ass play. I said, "I bet you want me to fuck you." Immediately I hear, "Yes, please." So, I give instruction on position before hopping out of bed to flip on the light. The sun blazes through the scene and he asks, "What's wrong?!" Rather confused by the query, I shake my head. "Nothing, lovie. I just want to really see what happens." Realizing he's having problems with the light full on, I snatch a black tee off the dresser and toss it over his head. Problem solved...

Afterward, I asked if the lights killed the mood. "Almost," he admitted. I grinned. "Fantastic. Your blindfold is soon coming." *chuckles* He gave me a nervous blink.

Tomorrow (today, actually) is a new day. There will be a few point which need addressed before we approach the next level. Things to which he uttered in bed i.e. 'if you had a cock, I'd suck it.' I know he will be wrestling with shame. Sub-drop will rear it's ugly head. 'Suppose the approach executed will be teasing coupled with a mass amount of TLC. Thoughts?
 
I really like the fear- but hypocritically only ever do bondage with people I know won't hurt me. But it's the fact that I know he can if he wants to. I tend to go for the people who are bigger and stronger then me anyway- so that if I tried to get away I probably couldn't.
 
I tend to go for the people who are bigger and stronger then me anyway- so that if I tried to get away I probably couldn't.

That's basically the crux of my first and foremost fetish (it's a paraphilia, not a kink), macrophilia. There's an inherent danger present in simply being around someone that much bigger than you, even if they mean no harm. You could get accidentally crushed or stepped on, for instance. While I don't have a crush fetish to go with it, it's the idea that I'm occupying an objectively lesser station that provides the thrill. And should push come to shove, there would be absolutely nothing in my power, no amount of physical resistance that I could muster, that would stop the inevitable... you know, whatever it was that was inevitable. (I'm cool with anything from coddling and kissing to rape and abduction, so take your pick.) :B
 
Fah...300 is porno as far as I'm concerned. *swoons into a chuckle*

Transforming a huge, hulking and confident man into a pile of decadent mousse? *revels* Flirting with the danger is a high by itself. Also, short or quiet men who are completely at ease with themself? *must investigate* The dude who runs the company? *fixates* Thrill of the hunt, methinks.

Oddly enough, I view men who are bullies on the absolute bottom of the food chain; they lack the inspirational fear kink.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JEI16OVoqQ&feature=related

*laughs as the above link is the lyric to that sort of experience*
 
candicame: sex, violence, philosophy? Urrgh *gutteral playground thoughts* Hehe!

Kopilot: So a close girlfriend sends me a picture message of an "unfortunate" who is/was afflicted with elephantitis of the testicles. They had the apperance of humongus swollen scallions dangling between his knees (bigger than the punch ballons I played with as a child even!). My reply? "Too bad he doesn't have the "manhood" to match. It'd make for a most pleasing sliding board."

Time is short right now, but I hope to post later on how we handled a recent sub-drop. I don't presume to think I know everything or that I'm doing everything correctly. It's a journey for both of us, and I hope that maybe, maybe I can help someone else...or those with more experience would be inclined to offer their own thoughts. Thanks for the replies!
 
I really like the fear- but hypocritically only ever do bondage with people I know won't hurt me. But it's the fact that I know he can if he wants to. I tend to go for the people who are bigger and stronger then me anyway- so that if I tried to get away I probably couldn't.

That, my friend, is NOT hypocritical. Human beings are programmed with the primal instinct to preserve their lives; ergo, 'tis a natural response: fight or flight. The extreme masochist, though, is a different bird, and 'tis why safety is the sadist's first concern. If that is not ALWAYS the first concern, the sadist has no business being in the topping business, period.
 
I like being bullied. :>

The hubby enjoys it also, but only from me...now that he understands the "purpose". *shrugs* If anyone else even tries (especially toward a woman), he will diffuse the situation or fight if no other option presents itself, and trust me, he is fucking vicious (*makes happy 'nom nom' noises*:D). He used to just slip into vicious, but he's been sober nearly seven years now: the pupa stage? *strokes the chrysalis*

*laughs, recalling a statement from her deceased father* 'Your brother is not a rottweiler on a leash, Licia.' I just blinked at him and said, "You will soon see that Wolfey, does indeed...'have a mean bone in his body'." While I was blamed for my bro's actions in the beginning, his own "monster" revealed itself in more ways than one. Used to being blamed for the actions of others was commonplace, I feel responsible for everyone...sometimes even random strangers: oldest is as oldest does. I don't hold either one of them up for trial. I loved them both, and people are people.;)

Right, so, sub-drop... Here I'd figured it would be due to his issues over his own sexuality. *laughs at her misinterpretation* As it turns out, he is becoming more comfortable as the days pass. What his drop centered around was the (using the words from his own mouth) "removal of a privilige". *chuckles*
 
Removal of a privilige:

Sleeping in the bed with me is a privilige that I will not extend to anyone who hurts my feelings, and then intentionally ignores or dismisses the issue when I bring it up.

After an extended session, I said to him, "Do you have those links saved in your favorites list?" (He was eating last after he'd cooked for the family. Now, I know the guy was hungry. We'd played for a few hours.) Staring daggers at me from his seat on the couch, he yelled at me in front of the kids. "Can't you give me just a few fucking seconds to relax and eat my sammich?!" My eyebrows arched, a breath released, and the blood ran cold. I gave him the shoulder to match...

A few minutes later, he tromped down the stairs and fired up his computer. I ignored him totally. The link flares to visual life, and the sounds issuing forth assaulted my ears. My face turned sideways toward his countenance, "I'm not in the mood for that anymore..." (more later, perhaps)
 
Why wasn't 'I in the mood for that anymore'? Simple: I was still butt-hurt and furious, and I *had* to get my head straight before it was safe to address what had happened: when anger freezes over, methodical sadism eases into logic. Not good, heh.

So, I focused on a positive outlet: offering support to others who are suffering. Man in the Mirror was plastered on the facebook wall after the hubby commented on how much he liked the song. Ironically, one of my RL friends had asked to see something positive for once on facebook: "tired of hearing everyone complain..I just went through surgery...everyone should just be thankful to be alive.." I left her a comment, "I've some happy to share, c'mere!" Life got brighter: the kiddies came down to play/dance to the vids I was blasting, hubby returned to the scene just to be close, and I crawled out of my own cage...

The day wore into bedtime for the kids, and we settled into a movie. Still bothered by being yelled at, especially in front of the children, I decided it was a good time to put the issue to rest. "You hurt my feelings when you yelled at me. All I did was ask a question. I understand that you were hungry, but that is no excuse for the way in which I was treated. I do not like that, and it is not something I will tolerate."

No response.

I waited for a minute or so.

Still, no response.

I asked if he intended to respond.

No response.

"Mmmk, then." I got up and went into the bedroom, thoroughly pissed off. (*laughs at herself*)

Internal dialogue: 'that shithead! There's no way in hellthat I'm sleeping or having sex with him tonight. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight. Yep, he hates it when I won't sleep with him. Blah, I won't get any sleep either if I'm out there, grr...*blinks* Wait a minute...this is MY fucking bedroom. Huh. He's sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed. *recalls he has to work tomorrow and sighs out frustration* Fuck, he has to work tomorrow. I'll be nice and let him sleep on the couch.'

I gather his blanket and pillow and toss the items on the couch. He's in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Immediately, I decide if I will communicate his fate. Nope, I will not give him something which has been denied me. Resolute, I lock the bedroom door behind me and snuggle down with a man who never gives me any sass: Mickey Mouse. :heart:
 
Heh, sub drop & top drop interconnect...

Tap, rattle-tap, tap goes the bedroom door. Hunkered down with mickey, I simply situate more comfortably into my soft pillow. A happy chuckle escapes me when I think about the lock on the door: I had him install said lock because our play demands complete privacy.

A mental video replays edited scenes of myself spending restless nights on that very couch: confliction and torture! Yes, I'd delved my own punishment (and his simultaneously), but I always refused to be close to him when he acted like a jackass. *trust issues about his capacity to follow through with his own kinks scourge my essence* 'Gah, If he *really* wants me to dominate him like he's begged for, he won't break down the door. He'll go and sleep on the couch like the lovie I know he is ...he fucking deserves this... Meh, I already miss him! I want to drag him in here and fuck the guts and seven bucks...No! Not gonna "fix this" right now. Shit, do I even have the right to teach him empathy? Am I damaging his psyche? Fuck, this is hard! I know what it is to spend a night on the couch. *FEAR!* Jesus, I hope I'm doing the right thing.' *silent prayer before falling into a restful sleep*

Four o'clock stretches my muscles from my own sexually "sordid" dreams. Reality rushes oxygen into my lungs, and I stumble through the darkness just so I can unlock the closed door...
 
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