Brand new:)

[Littlegirl1323]

So I'm pretty brand new to all of this, but I find everything about Bdsm interesting and exciting. I've never had a master but I would like one in the future. Ive experimented a little with a past boyfriend but he never really made me obey so I found myself testing limits and being kinda a brat Anyways I was just looking for people to talk to who understand and could show me the ropes on somethings!

 

[Lilac_Sky]

Welcome! If you have specific questions, there are many people here who would be happy to give you their opinions and insights. The experiences/expertise here is amazing! You might want to start off by checking out the BDSM Library sticky thread at the top of the main BDSM Talk board .. tons of information there. And I commend you for trying to learn about what is interesting and arousing you. You may want to get a hold of the book, "The New Bottoming Book" as a place to start .... it is a good overview.

 

[Littlegirl1323]

Yea I have been reading the Bdsm stories for a while now I especially like the punishment ones because of the pain and control but also the willingness to learn. I will definitely check out that book though.

 

[graceanne]

While the stories are fun to read, they aren't very realistic. There are some really good books out there, and I'd definitely check out our library. And feel free to ask questions, even if you feel like they're stupid. There are several of us who'll answer in PM, if you're not comfortable asking in public.

Good luck.

 

[Littlegirl1323]

What exactly isn't realistic about them? Its not that I don't trust what you're saying i just want to know what one would really expect in a D/s relationship.

 

[Kurokami]

What exactly isn't realistic about them? Its not that I don't trust what you're saying i just want to know what one would really expect in a D/s relationship.

The stories here on Lit represent a sort of idealized version of D/s relationships that are highly specific to the author in question. Because it's fiction, and we can all write about (almost) anything we like here, you'll find that the scenarios therein tend to be highly calibrated towards what the author finds appealing, rather than to reality. It's fiction, is what I'm saying.

Of course the level of reality varies from author to author, but don't expect something that happens in a story posted here to happen the same way if you tried it for real. Besides, what you like and dislike as a pyl is specific to you, and part of the fun of all this is determining the makeup of your own D/s relations as they happen.

Good luck going forward, and welcome!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

What exactly isn't realistic about them? Its not that I don't trust what you're saying i just want to know what one would really expect in a D/s relationship.

What K said, but also, most of the stories I've read don't include the really fun stuff, like running errands, cleaning and generally ensuring you have a functioning life outside of the kinkzone.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

What K said, but also, most of the stories I've read don't include the really fun stuff, like running errands, cleaning and generally ensuring you have a functioning life outside of the kinkzone.

Or the talking to make sure you are both on the same wave/kink length.

 

[Chiara_searches]

The stories are often unrealistic in the mechanics as well. Sometimes, if you really think about how they've got someone positioned, it just doesn't work well in real life.

I, personally, try to be aware of the mechanics when I write. But let's put a practical example on it. Right now, I'm working on a story with an oral servitude (i.e. blow job) aspect. The story includes the person giving the blow job getting struck with a belt while the cock is in her mouth. That realistically is not a good idea because the natural inclination is to bite down when struck. Sure, someone with more experience might be able to take the blow from the belt and give the blow job all at the same time. I couldn't do it myself in RL, but I have an attraction to the idea, so I'm writing about it.

Some of the other stories are just too fantastical to be applicable in RL. Things like the Sleeping Beauty series comes to mind as an example.

You also have to understand that the stories don't go into practical stuff, like LB mentioned, but they also don't necessarily go into the emotional fall out from certain activities. You might read up on pyl-drop or PYL-drop, the emotional reaction after engaging in some BDSM type activities. You also need to guard yourself from emotional manipulation and stay clear on what turns you on and if it's healthy for you physically and emotionally.

Good luck. I'm always happy for people when it sounds like they are sorting these issues out.

 

[DVS]

While the stories are fun to read, they aren't very realistic. There are some really good books out there, and I'd definitely check out our library. And feel free to ask questions, even if you feel like they're stupid. There are several of us who'll answer in PM, if you're not comfortable asking in public.

Good luck.

Yes, yes, books and the BDSM library are all well and good, but if you want a proper education, stop by my house. Oh, I hope you'll pardon my somewhat overly enthusiastic tone. It's most unseemly for a dom of my status.

 

[DVS]

The stories are often unrealistic in the mechanics as well. Sometimes, if you really think about how they've got someone positioned, it just doesn't work well in real life.

I, personally, try to be aware of the mechanics when I write.

I try to be as realistic as possible, too. But when you have someone bound and helpless, you can contort them in some strange and lewd positions. And when they're gagged, you can't hear them complain.

 

[Aurantica]

Hey, girls are not living Gymnast Barbie dolls. Our legs will not rotate like pinwheels, so please don't try. You'll only wind up with a very grumpy sub.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Hey, girls are not living Gymnast Barbie dolls. Our legs will not rotate like pinwheels, so please don't try. You'll only wind up with a very grumpy sub.

And this would be different than most people's everyday existence... how?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Hey, girls are not living Gymnast Barbie dolls. Our legs will not rotate like pinwheels, so please don't try. You'll only wind up with a very grumpy sub.

On crutches.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

On crutches.

Who might be using said crutches to enact her vengence. Probably upon your skull.

 

[Aurantica]

Who might be using said crutches to enact her vengence. Probably upon your skull.

Or toes. Or other sensitive appendages.

 

[satindesire]

And this would be different than most people's everyday existence... how?

Uh Oh. Trouble on the homefront?

 

[DVS]

Hey, girls are not living Gymnast Barbie dolls. Our legs will not rotate like pinwheels, so please don't try. You'll only wind up with a very grumpy sub.

I never have a problem with what I want. Women are eager to please me. And I'm not that demanding with positions. Nothing the human body isn't suppose to be able to do.

And my last sub had new hip joints...she was wonderfully flexible. I thought about sending her surgeon a thank you note.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Uh Oh. Trouble on the homefront?

Nope. I was just being sardonic.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Nope. I was just being sardonic.

Careful there, don't strain anything.

 

[graceanne]

What exactly isn't realistic about them? Its not that I don't trust what you're saying i just want to know what one would really expect in a D/s relationship.

What K said, but also, most of the stories I've read don't include the really fun stuff, like running errands, cleaning and generally ensuring you have a functioning life outside of the kinkzone.

That is my main complaint about the stories. You are very unlikely to find a dominant who is fabulously wealthy so all you have to do is see to his needs. Most likely you're going to need to work, and buy groceries, and pick up the living room, and pay bills, and other 'fun' stuff.

Also, you will find there are things that are HOT in fantasy-land that aren't in reality. Just because it gets you off when it's just you, Rosie Palm and her five sister, doesn't mean you won't HATE IT in real life. And, most importantly, there is some forms of edge play - like breath play - that you can do in stories and not have to worry about stuff like death (unless that's your kink), whereas in real life there are some guidelines you need to follow.

And, most importantly, in stories the dom's are always exactly what the sub wants/needs sexually. In real life you have to be much more careful about the person you're allowing to tie you up. There have been many psychopaths who've used BDSM as a cover to get girls tied up so they can do horrible things to them and then bury them in the backyard. BDSM requires that you are even more careful of who you go home with then regular vanilla sex and relationship because that person is going to want to tie you up and they don't always just plan on spanking you.

 

[Betticus]

It's a well known fact that doms absolutely love a tasty sammich!!!

 

[Aurantica]

It's a well known fact that doms absolutely love a tasty sammich!!!

Ah, a supporter of the barefoot-pregnant-and-in-the-kitchen crowd.... You meet them from time to time

 

[redslady]

It's a well known fact that doms absolutely love a tasty sammich!!!

And a good belly rub

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

It's a well known fact that doms absolutely love a tasty sammich!!!

Sammiches, beer and blowjobs.