Appealing?

[frank1970]

Hello Tx! Hope you are having a good week!

 

[texas cop]

Sooo, did you move to another town or another state?

 

[seamus221]

Hello hope the move went well and you get back online soon.
Kinda dull without your thoughts in the thread or your sexy body stirring all kinda naughty thoughts!
Not a cowboys fan anymore,they never learn from their lose's but just mouth off , I miss the cowboys that got beat one weekend , then turned around and kicked butt the next weekend.
Often on one of my teams!
A new football season and a chance for the superbowl starts all over again, I had planned to use your thread to get me over the season if the strike hadn't been settled.
Sorry but with you around who needs football when full contact with you is more fun!
Later hot stuff.

 

[txconfidential]

Greetings all -

I think y'all are very sweet to visit and "bump" even when I wasn't around.

The moving saga is finally over. I'm settled enough to function but not fully operational. Internet set up was full of snags and setbacks - but I'm up and running again.

I haven't dropped in to visit because - well, this is the AmPic forum and I don't have any AmPics to post. And as far as sharing thoughts - well, my thoughts these days are far from naughty or sexy. They are mostly mundane, daily life stuff.

And the thoughts that fall into the more personal realm? Well, they're a bit of a jumble.

I have several friends who are going through divorces that are far more complex than mine was.

One divorce was the result of infidelity.

Another marriage is falling apart because they have been unhappy and unsatisfied for years. This lead to one of them to cheat repeatedly, though that's not the trigger for the divorce - he just couldn't stand being unhappy any longer.

Still another marriage ended when the wife blindsided her husband after he supported her through school. She got her PhD - then told him she was moving out ... he had no clue it was coming.

And yet another friend (who is not getting divorced) has what appears to be a perfect loving marriage - one like I used to have before my husband's illness. They seem wonderfully happy together, but at least one of them is unfaithful.

Being witness to all of this so soon after my own divorce has my mind reeling - questioning, and doubting. I've always questioned the wisdom/ ability of couples to practice monogamy on an academic or intellectual level. But this is much more visceral - and I'm a bit shaken by it all.

After so many years of being faithful despite what was (wasn't!) happening in my marriage ... after seeing these good marriages fall apart ... after watching people in miserable marriages stay together... and after seeing a "wonderful" marriage thrive despite infidelity (not an open marriage - the partner doesn't know) ... I feel lost. And Lit probably isn't the best place for me to sort it out. Or hell - maybe it is. I've gained a lot of insight from so many of you here. And I've always appreciated the frank honesty that so many have shared with me.

The problem is - Lit probably isn't a representative sample. At least I hope it's not. Most of the interactions I've had with people on Lit are with men and women who are in committed relationships that are unsatisfying. And if Lit IS representative... then I don't want to know that either.

So there you have it. That's the mental landscape these days. When you add that to the move and falling behind on work it's not exactly a recipe for Lit-worthy photo ops.

 

[Orion777]

*many many hugs* Tx.

 

[txconfidential]

*many many hugs* Tx.

Thanks Orion.

 

[VanGogh66]

In time, everything will be alright.

Oh and it's football season!

 

[purfecthost]

Hi sweetie
Real-life can throw us a few curves and make us think thoughts we don't really want. But, you will get through it and come out the other side.....I did
Just remember to look after yourself first
If you don't no-one else will

Greetings all -

I think y'all are very sweet to visit and "bump" even when I wasn't around.

The moving saga is finally over. I'm settled enough to function but not fully operational. Internet set up was full of snags and setbacks - but I'm up and running again.

I haven't dropped in to visit because - well, this is the AmPic forum and I don't have any AmPics to post. And as far as sharing thoughts - well, my thoughts these days are far from naughty or sexy. They are mostly mundane, daily life stuff.

And the thoughts that fall into the more personal realm? Well, they're a bit of a jumble.

I have several friends who are going through divorces that are far more complex than mine was.

One divorce was the result of infidelity.

Another marriage is falling apart because they have been unhappy and unsatisfied for years. This lead to one of them to cheat repeatedly, though that's not the trigger for the divorce - he just couldn't stand being unhappy any longer.

Still another marriage ended when the wife blindsided her husband after he supported her through school. She got her PhD - then told him she was moving out ... he had no clue it was coming.

And yet another friend (who is not getting divorced) has what appears to be a perfect loving marriage - one like I used to have before my husband's illness. They seem wonderfully happy together, but at least one of them is unfaithful.

Being witness to all of this so soon after my own divorce has my mind reeling - questioning, and doubting. I've always questioned the wisdom/ ability of couples to practice monogamy on an academic or intellectual level. But this is much more visceral - and I'm a bit shaken by it all.

After so many years of being faithful despite what was (wasn't!) happening in my marriage ... after seeing these good marriages fall apart ... after watching people in miserable marriages stay together... and after seeing a "wonderful" marriage thrive despite infidelity (not an open marriage - the partner doesn't know) ... I feel lost. And Lit probably isn't the best place for me to sort it out. Or hell - maybe it is. I've gained a lot of insight from so many of you here. And I've always appreciated the frank honesty that so many have shared with me.

The problem is - Lit probably isn't a representative sample. At least I hope it's not. Most of the interactions I've had with people on Lit are with men and women who are in committed relationships that are unsatisfying. And if Lit IS representative... then I don't want to know that either.

So there you have it. That's the mental landscape these days. When you add that to the move and falling behind on work it's not exactly a recipe for Lit-worthy photo ops.

 

[frank1970]

Hey Tx! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Life can definately be tough sometimes! Sending you big hugs and wishing you all the best!

 

[softey1]

I'm

Greetings all -

I think y'all are very sweet to visit and "bump" even when I wasn't around.

The moving saga is finally over. I'm settled enough to function but not fully operational. Internet set up was full of snags and setbacks - but I'm up and running again.

I haven't dropped in to visit because - well, this is the AmPic forum and I don't have any AmPics to post. And as far as sharing thoughts - well, my thoughts these days are far from naughty or sexy. They are mostly mundane, daily life stuff.

And the thoughts that fall into the more personal realm? Well, they're a bit of a jumble.

I have several friends who are going through divorces that are far more complex than mine was.

One divorce was the result of infidelity.

Another marriage is falling apart because they have been unhappy and unsatisfied for years. This lead to one of them to cheat repeatedly, though that's not the trigger for the divorce - he just couldn't stand being unhappy any longer.

Still another marriage ended when the wife blindsided her husband after he supported her through school. She got her PhD - then told him she was moving out ... he had no clue it was coming.

And yet another friend (who is not getting divorced) has what appears to be a perfect loving marriage - one like I used to have before my husband's illness. They seem wonderfully happy together, but at least one of them is unfaithful.

Being witness to all of this so soon after my own divorce has my mind reeling - questioning, and doubting. I've always questioned the wisdom/ ability of couples to practice monogamy on an academic or intellectual level. But this is much more visceral - and I'm a bit shaken by it all.

After so many years of being faithful despite what was (wasn't!) happening in my marriage ... after seeing these good marriages fall apart ... after watching people in miserable marriages stay together... and after seeing a "wonderful" marriage thrive despite infidelity (not an open marriage - the partner doesn't know) ... I feel lost. And Lit probably isn't the best place for me to sort it out. Or hell - maybe it is. I've gained a lot of insight from so many of you here. And I've always appreciated the frank honesty that so many have shared with me.

The problem is - Lit probably isn't a representative sample. At least I hope it's not. Most of the interactions I've had with people on Lit are with men and women who are in committed relationships that are unsatisfying. And if Lit IS representative... then I don't want to know that either.

So there you have it. That's the mental landscape these days. When you add that to the move and falling behind on work it's not exactly a recipe for Lit-worthy photo ops.

know after 22yrs mine said she had to find herself, what ever the hell that means

 

[bliss4u22011]

Jst saying hand keep your head up..one day the right person will resore all that you are questioning...until then share your mind and feelings will help : )

Greetings all -

I think y'all are very sweet to visit and "bump" even when I wasn't around.

The moving saga is finally over. I'm settled enough to function but not fully operational. Internet set up was full of snags and setbacks - but I'm up and running again.

I haven't dropped in to visit because - well, this is the AmPic forum and I don't have any AmPics to post. And as far as sharing thoughts - well, my thoughts these days are far from naughty or sexy. They are mostly mundane, daily life stuff.

And the thoughts that fall into the more personal realm? Well, they're a bit of a jumble.

I have several friends who are going through divorces that are far more complex than mine was.

One divorce was the result of infidelity.

Another marriage is falling apart because they have been unhappy and unsatisfied for years. This lead to one of them to cheat repeatedly, though that's not the trigger for the divorce - he just couldn't stand being unhappy any longer.

Still another marriage ended when the wife blindsided her husband after he supported her through school. She got her PhD - then told him she was moving out ... he had no clue it was coming.

And yet another friend (who is not getting divorced) has what appears to be a perfect loving marriage - one like I used to have before my husband's illness. They seem wonderfully happy together, but at least one of them is unfaithful.

Being witness to all of this so soon after my own divorce has my mind reeling - questioning, and doubting. I've always questioned the wisdom/ ability of couples to practice monogamy on an academic or intellectual level. But this is much more visceral - and I'm a bit shaken by it all.

After so many years of being faithful despite what was (wasn't!) happening in my marriage ... after seeing these good marriages fall apart ... after watching people in miserable marriages stay together... and after seeing a "wonderful" marriage thrive despite infidelity (not an open marriage - the partner doesn't know) ... I feel lost. And Lit probably isn't the best place for me to sort it out. Or hell - maybe it is. I've gained a lot of insight from so many of you here. And I've always appreciated the frank honesty that so many have shared with me.

The problem is - Lit probably isn't a representative sample. At least I hope it's not. Most of the interactions I've had with people on Lit are with men and women who are in committed relationships that are unsatisfying. And if Lit IS representative... then I don't want to know that either.

So there you have it. That's the mental landscape these days. When you add that to the move and falling behind on work it's not exactly a recipe for Lit-worthy photo ops.

 

[quickshadow]

know after 22yrs mine said she had to find herself, what ever the hell that means

I sorta lump divorce in with suicide. Both of them are preventable. The problem is that marriages have lost the basic focus of what marriage is supposed to be as compared to when our parents were married. With the introduction of the internet, it hasn't really been the issue, but it has caused issues that were buried before to surface. If you don't look down at your nose once in a while, how do you know it's there? It is the closest object in your vision, and if you lose sight of it, then how can you see past it.

But I am a hopeless romantic/old fashioned softy.

 

[just4friends]

sigh...

Was that a dear Johns and Janes letter??

We TRY to be good fidelious types! Really!

I'd say that without lit I might go straying to fill some of the needs I feel rather than finding folks here to share my kneading.......

Sad... but really... I'm getting closer to saying what I really want. We'll see what happens after that. (if I'm brave enough)

I do know lots of lit folks who have pulled things together thanks to lit or who do use Lit is what seems like a much healthier way than I do.

I hope you will stay to share..... IF IT WORKS for you!

 

[morninwould]

Miss ya TC. . .but thanks as always for the honesty.

Greetings all -

I think y'all are very sweet to visit and "bump" even when I wasn't around.

The moving saga is finally over. I'm settled enough to function but not fully operational. Internet set up was full of snags and setbacks - but I'm up and running again.

I haven't dropped in to visit because - well, this is the AmPic forum and I don't have any AmPics to post. And as far as sharing thoughts - well, my thoughts these days are far from naughty or sexy. They are mostly mundane, daily life stuff.

And the thoughts that fall into the more personal realm? Well, they're a bit of a jumble.

I have several friends who are going through divorces that are far more complex than mine was.

One divorce was the result of infidelity.

Another marriage is falling apart because they have been unhappy and unsatisfied for years. This lead to one of them to cheat repeatedly, though that's not the trigger for the divorce - he just couldn't stand being unhappy any longer.

Still another marriage ended when the wife blindsided her husband after he supported her through school. She got her PhD - then told him she was moving out ... he had no clue it was coming.

And yet another friend (who is not getting divorced) has what appears to be a perfect loving marriage - one like I used to have before my husband's illness. They seem wonderfully happy together, but at least one of them is unfaithful.

Being witness to all of this so soon after my own divorce has my mind reeling - questioning, and doubting. I've always questioned the wisdom/ ability of couples to practice monogamy on an academic or intellectual level. But this is much more visceral - and I'm a bit shaken by it all.

After so many years of being faithful despite what was (wasn't!) happening in my marriage ... after seeing these good marriages fall apart ... after watching people in miserable marriages stay together... and after seeing a "wonderful" marriage thrive despite infidelity (not an open marriage - the partner doesn't know) ... I feel lost. And Lit probably isn't the best place for me to sort it out. Or hell - maybe it is. I've gained a lot of insight from so many of you here. And I've always appreciated the frank honesty that so many have shared with me.

The problem is - Lit probably isn't a representative sample. At least I hope it's not. Most of the interactions I've had with people on Lit are with men and women who are in committed relationships that are unsatisfying. And if Lit IS representative... then I don't want to know that either.

So there you have it. That's the mental landscape these days. When you add that to the move and falling behind on work it's not exactly a recipe for Lit-worthy photo ops.

 

[raphy]

I've never been convinced that monogamy is the natural state of humanity.

Why do I say that? Not because I'm a supporter of open relationships, or a supporter or infidelity, or even because I'm an opposer of monogamy..

I say it because I believe that blanket statements about people's personalities cannot be made with any particular accuracy.

I can make a statement about physicality, such as: "I believe it's normal and natural for most people to have two arms and two legs and a head." People exist that do not fit this statement, but by and large, they are far away the abnormality. The edges of the bell curve.

Personality, preferences and the like - They're much harder to generalize about.

Can I say "Most people prefer vanilla ice cream over chocolate"? Or .. Can I say "Most people naturally gravitate towards broccoli instead of peas"?

I think both of those statements would be met with disbelief and cries of "You can't prove that!", and rightly so.

So to generalize and say "Monogamy is the natural state of humankind" is, I think, massively naive. It works for -some- people. It doesn't work for others. Society attempts to give us moral judgments on the 'rightness' of monogamy, but so many of these are actually fallacious arguments:

Infidelity is a sin: I agree, but only in the larger sense that any form of 'lying to your partner is wrong. Infidelity is no less wrong than lying to your partner about your gambling problem, or lying about where you got the money to buy that new car.

Breaking your marriage vows is a sin: Again, I agree, but again.. only in the larger sense that any form of breaking vows and promises is a sin. If I promise to not sleep with anyone else and I do, how is that different than if I promise to never drink again, and I do? A promise is a promise is a promise. Don't make promises that life won't let you keep.

Neither of those things say that monogamy is right. They say that lying to your partner (anyone) and breaking a promise is wrong. Well, duh.

I believe that people feel pressured into signing up for monogamous relationships because society instructs them to. Because it's accepted as 'normal'. I believe people should be hugely more self-aware of who they are and what they want, and keep those key things in the forefront of their minds when they're selecting their next partner.

Personally, I can't think of anything more depressing than spending my life pretending to be someone I'm not. The 'nuclear family' suburban dad would be that person. And I think that if more people were:

a) more self aware

b) more able to resist the pressures of society and say "no, this is who I am, I'm not what you want me to be"

and other such things, then we'd have far less divorce. I'm not talking about in gross terms (Although that's true, because less marriages means less divorce, by definition), but also in relative terms, because more of those marriages would be between people who actually knew what the hell they were getting into.

The divorce rate is up all over the western world? Some people like to blame this on falling moral standards. I couldn't disagree more. It's my opinion (note: complete conjecture, subjective with no basis in fact) that the percentage of people who are or were in marriages which they did not want to be in is practically the same now as it was X years ago.

The difference now is that it's easier (both legally and from a societal point of view) to get divorced. There's less stigma. It's okay to be divorced. Society's finally caught up with that idea.

Unfortunately, society hasn't yet caught up with the idea that it's also okay to NOT get married in the first place.

In summary: Just like any other lifestyle preference, monogamy's only right for some people. But society tries to make it fit everybody. It always has.

 

[BackInYourArms]

.....

 

[txconfidential]

In time, everything will be alright.

Oh and it's football season!

Thanks VanGogh.

But, you know? Truly, everything is all right now. Even though what's going on around me with all of these couples feels bad - ultimately, the changes are for the best. I hate seeing anyone stuck in a relationship that isn't right for them. But even though all will be better for them soon, right now, within every one of these stories, there is someone in pain - and I hate that.

And yes! It is football season. As I've said before, I've never really had a team that I rooted for consistently. I was always drawn to the character of the players. Well - I guess I should say "persona" since so much of it is manufactured by PR people. Anyway, I've had so much fun bonding with my brother & other family & friends over golf that I'll be "auditioning" the Cowboys for the #1 spot. We'll see how the season goes.

Hi sweetie
Real-life can throw us a few curves and make us think thoughts we don't really want. But, you will get through it and come out the other side.....I did
Just remember to look after yourself first
If you don't no-one else will

You are always so sweet and thoughtful, PH. I didn't mean for the last post to sound like such a downer, but I guess it does. I just didn't want everyone to get their hopes up that new photos would be coming. Guess I rambled on a bit.

Hey Tx! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Life can definately be tough sometimes! Sending you big hugs and wishing you all the best!

Thanks, Frank! Hugs and best wishes are always appreciated.

know after 22yrs mine said she had to find herself, what ever the hell that means

Sorry to hear that Softey. But hopefully now both of you will have a chance at a new life and true happiness.

Jst saying hand keep your head up..one day the right person will resore all that you are questioning...until then share your mind and feelings will help : )

Thanks Bliss! As for the right person restoring faith -- boy I'd hate to be him!

I suspect that until I let go of these doubts and questions and go back to just "being" and experiencing... I'm going to be about as approachable as a porcupine in a minefield. Just as well - given that I have other areas of my life that need attention anyway. Like work. And golf.

Nah - I'm not really that prickly. I just liked the analogy.

Was that a dear Johns and Janes letter??

We TRY to be good fidelious types! Really!

I'd say that without lit I might go straying to fill some of the needs I feel rather than finding folks here to share my kneading.......

Sad... but really... I'm getting closer to saying what I really want. We'll see what happens after that. (if I'm brave enough)

I do know lots of lit folks who have pulled things together thanks to lit or who do use Lit is what seems like a much healthier way than I do.

I hope you will stay to share..... IF IT WORKS for you!

LOL - don't know if it was a "Dear Johns & Janes" letter or not. Just a "State of the Union" update.

I'm curious. You're getting closer to saying what you really want? What's stopping you? Do you mean sharing with us what you want? Or talking to your partner about it? Whichever it is - "Say what you need to say..."

Miss ya TC. . .but thanks as always for the honesty.

Miss ya too, MW. Can't ever fault me for not being honest.

Of course ... I may deflect or withhold... but I'm always honest.

 

[txconfidential]

I've never been convinced that monogamy is the natural state of humanity.

Why do I say that? Not because I'm a supporter of open relationships, or a supporter or infidelity, or even because I'm an opposer of monogamy..

I say it because I believe that blanket statements about people's personalities cannot be made with any particular accuracy.

I can make a statement about physicality, such as: "I believe it's normal and natural for most people to have two arms and two legs and a head." People exist that do not fit this statement, but by and large, they are far away the abnormality. The edges of the bell curve.

Personality, preferences and the like - They're much harder to generalize about.

Can I say "Most people prefer vanilla ice cream over chocolate"? Or .. Can I say "Most people naturally gravitate towards broccoli instead of peas"?

I think both of those statements would be met with disbelief and cries of "You can't prove that!", and rightly so.

So to generalize and say "Monogamy is the natural state of humankind" is, I think, massively naive. It works for -some- people. It doesn't work for others. Society attempts to give us moral judgments on the 'rightness' of monogamy, but so many of these are actually fallacious arguments:

Infidelity is a sin: I agree, but only in the larger sense that any form of 'lying to your partner is wrong. Infidelity is no less wrong than lying to your partner about your gambling problem, or lying about where you got the money to buy that new car.

Breaking your marriage vows is a sin: Again, I agree, but again.. only in the larger sense that any form of breaking vows and promises is a sin. If I promise to not sleep with anyone else and I do, how is that different than if I promise to never drink again, and I do? A promise is a promise is a promise. Don't make promises that life won't let you keep.

Neither of those things say that monogamy is right. They say that lying to your partner (anyone) and breaking a promise is wrong. Well, duh.

I believe that people feel pressured into signing up for monogamous relationships because society instructs them to. Because it's accepted as 'normal'. I believe people should be hugely more self-aware of who they are and what they want, and keep those key things in the forefront of their minds when they're selecting their next partner.

Personally, I can't think of anything more depressing than spending my life pretending to be someone I'm not. The 'nuclear family' suburban dad would be that person. And I think that if more people were:

a) more self aware

b) more able to resist the pressures of society and say "no, this is who I am, I'm not what you want me to be"

and other such things, then we'd have far less divorce. I'm not talking about in gross terms (Although that's true, because less marriages means less divorce, by definition), but also in relative terms, because more of those marriages would be between people who actually knew what the hell they were getting into.

The divorce rate is up all over the western world? Some people like to blame this on falling moral standards. I couldn't disagree more. It's my opinion (note: complete conjecture, subjective with no basis in fact) that the percentage of people who are or were in marriages which they did not want to be in is practically the same now as it was X years ago.

The difference now is that it's easier (both legally and from a societal point of view) to get divorced. There's less stigma. It's okay to be divorced. Society's finally caught up with that idea.

Unfortunately, society hasn't yet caught up with the idea that it's also okay to NOT get married in the first place.

In summary: Just like any other lifestyle preference, monogamy's only right for some people. But society tries to make it fit everybody. It always has.

Thank you Raphy. You're thoughts here echo my own. I just didn't have the energy to type it all out with such eloquence.

 

[tocurpussy]

The most important thing is for you to take care of you and get things in perspective. And when your ready to start again, we all will be here waiting for your return. But take care of yourself.

 

[texas cop]

Life is a complicated machine. Then add love into the mix and it really gets mucked up. Mine has lasted 28 years and pretty Im sure it wont last 29. Life changes people and its too short to be involved in something that you don't want to be involved in.

 

[purfecthost]

You are always so sweet and thoughtful, PH. I didn't mean for the last post to sound like such a downer, but I guess it does. I just didn't want everyone to get their hopes up that new photos would be coming. Guess I rambled on a bit.

Don't you be worrying about pics old or new sweetie
You focus on yourself and come on and chat with your online friends
We're here for you and not just your pics
Take care and make use of your friends

 

[raphy]

Thank you Raphy. You're thoughts here echo my own. I just didn't have the energy to type it all out with such eloquence.

Happy to help, m'lady.

 

[softey1]

Been

Greetings all -

I think y'all are very sweet to visit and "bump" even when I wasn't around.

The moving saga is finally over. I'm settled enough to function but not fully operational. Internet set up was full of snags and setbacks - but I'm up and running again.

I haven't dropped in to visit because - well, this is the AmPic forum and I don't have any AmPics to post. And as far as sharing thoughts - well, my thoughts these days are far from naughty or sexy. They are mostly mundane, daily life stuff.

And the thoughts that fall into the more personal realm? Well, they're a bit of a jumble.

I have several friends who are going through divorces that are far more complex than mine was.

One divorce was the result of infidelity.

Another marriage is falling apart because they have been unhappy and unsatisfied for years. This lead to one of them to cheat repeatedly, though that's not the trigger for the divorce - he just couldn't stand being unhappy any longer.

Still another marriage ended when the wife blindsided her husband after he supported her through school. She got her PhD - then told him she was moving out ... he had no clue it was coming.

And yet another friend (who is not getting divorced) has what appears to be a perfect loving marriage - one like I used to have before my husband's illness. They seem wonderfully happy together, but at least one of them is unfaithful.

Being witness to all of this so soon after my own divorce has my mind reeling - questioning, and doubting. I've always questioned the wisdom/ ability of couples to practice monogamy on an academic or intellectual level. But this is much more visceral - and I'm a bit shaken by it all.

After so many years of being faithful despite what was (wasn't!) happening in my marriage ... after seeing these good marriages fall apart ... after watching people in miserable marriages stay together... and after seeing a "wonderful" marriage thrive despite infidelity (not an open marriage - the partner doesn't know) ... I feel lost. And Lit probably isn't the best place for me to sort it out. Or hell - maybe it is. I've gained a lot of insight from so many of you here. And I've always appreciated the frank honesty that so many have shared with me.

The problem is - Lit probably isn't a representative sample. At least I hope it's not. Most of the interactions I've had with people on Lit are with men and women who are in committed relationships that are unsatisfying. And if Lit IS representative... then I don't want to know that either.

So there you have it. That's the mental landscape these days. When you add that to the move and falling behind on work it's not exactly a recipe for Lit-worthy photo ops.

there twice so know the story 18 yrs and 22 yrs !

 

[mranyguy]

Greetings all -

I think y'all are very sweet to visit and "bump" even when I wasn't around.

The moving saga is finally over. I'm settled enough to function but not fully operational. Internet set up was full of snags and setbacks - but I'm up and running again.

I haven't dropped in to visit because - well, this is the AmPic forum and I don't have any AmPics to post. And as far as sharing thoughts - well, my thoughts these days are far from naughty or sexy. They are mostly mundane, daily life stuff.

And the thoughts that fall into the more personal realm? Well, they're a bit of a jumble.

I have several friends who are going through divorces that are far more complex than mine was.

One divorce was the result of infidelity.

Another marriage is falling apart because they have been unhappy and unsatisfied for years. This lead to one of them to cheat repeatedly, though that's not the trigger for the divorce - he just couldn't stand being unhappy any longer.

Still another marriage ended when the wife blindsided her husband after he supported her through school. She got her PhD - then told him she was moving out ... he had no clue it was coming.

And yet another friend (who is not getting divorced) has what appears to be a perfect loving marriage - one like I used to have before my husband's illness. They seem wonderfully happy together, but at least one of them is unfaithful.

Being witness to all of this so soon after my own divorce has my mind reeling - questioning, and doubting. I've always questioned the wisdom/ ability of couples to practice monogamy on an academic or intellectual level. But this is much more visceral - and I'm a bit shaken by it all.

After so many years of being faithful despite what was (wasn't!) happening in my marriage ... after seeing these good marriages fall apart ... after watching people in miserable marriages stay together... and after seeing a "wonderful" marriage thrive despite infidelity (not an open marriage - the partner doesn't know) ... I feel lost. And Lit probably isn't the best place for me to sort it out. Or hell - maybe it is. I've gained a lot of insight from so many of you here. And I've always appreciated the frank honesty that so many have shared with me.

The problem is - Lit probably isn't a representative sample. At least I hope it's not. Most of the interactions I've had with people on Lit are with men and women who are in committed relationships that are unsatisfying. And if Lit IS representative... then I don't want to know that either.

So there you have it. That's the mental landscape these days. When you add that to the move and falling behind on work it's not exactly a recipe for Lit-worthy photo ops.

That is a very open and honest assessment of Lit and of people... I think we are all out of our fucking minds.... and if my brand of crazy works for me... don't tell me otherwise. Hope you find your brand of crazy that makes you smile, here or where ever.

 

[billrichards41]

Greetings all -

I think y'all are very sweet to visit and "bump" even when I wasn't around.

The moving saga is finally over. I'm settled enough to function but not fully operational. Internet set up was full of snags and setbacks - but I'm up and running again.

I haven't dropped in to visit because - well, this is the AmPic forum and I don't have any AmPics to post. And as far as sharing thoughts - well, my thoughts these days are far from naughty or sexy. They are mostly mundane, daily life stuff.

And the thoughts that fall into the more personal realm? Well, they're a bit of a jumble.

I have several friends who are going through divorces that are far more complex than mine was.

One divorce was the result of infidelity.

Another marriage is falling apart because they have been unhappy and unsatisfied for years. This lead to one of them to cheat repeatedly, though that's not the trigger for the divorce - he just couldn't stand being unhappy any longer.

Still another marriage ended when the wife blindsided her husband after he supported her through school. She got her PhD - then told him she was moving out ... he had no clue it was coming.

And yet another friend (who is not getting divorced) has what appears to be a perfect loving marriage - one like I used to have before my husband's illness. They seem wonderfully happy together, but at least one of them is unfaithful.

Being witness to all of this so soon after my own divorce has my mind reeling - questioning, and doubting. I've always questioned the wisdom/ ability of couples to practice monogamy on an academic or intellectual level. But this is much more visceral - and I'm a bit shaken by it all.

After so many years of being faithful despite what was (wasn't!) happening in my marriage ... after seeing these good marriages fall apart ... after watching people in miserable marriages stay together... and after seeing a "wonderful" marriage thrive despite infidelity (not an open marriage - the partner doesn't know) ... I feel lost. And Lit probably isn't the best place for me to sort it out. Or hell - maybe it is. I've gained a lot of insight from so many of you here. And I've always appreciated the frank honesty that so many have shared with me.

The problem is - Lit probably isn't a representative sample. At least I hope it's not. Most of the interactions I've had with people on Lit are with men and women who are in committed relationships that are unsatisfying. And if Lit IS representative... then I don't want to know that either.

So there you have it. That's the mental landscape these days. When you add that to the move and falling behind on work it's not exactly a recipe for Lit-worthy photo ops.

While I can relate... isn't it time that the lit people charter the love boat and sail into the sunset?
Glad to hear the move is done and you are looking to new horizons.