The intricacies of being bi

[cuck2011]

I am a bi man, who only in the last 5 years has come to fully accept myself as I am. I love women, I am happily married and love having sex with her gorgeous self. I am a typical male, tall, pretty well built, confident and assertive. But I also love cock, I love the taste and feel of one, i love the feeling of being penetrated, and I love being with a woman who gets off on that as much as I do. The problem is I don't know many women who really do get off on that stuff. Is it just a male thing? What are womens thoughts on this, does it change how you view the man? I know in ireland I'd be called a pansy by both sexes but I don't really care, I guess I worry that the more I tell my wife the less she will respect me (if that makes sense)

 

[seat542]

Tough question. I wouldn't say anything to her about you being bi, but I start by asking her what her fantasies are. If she says her being with another woman you could build off of it. If she says seeing you with another guy....well the door is open.

Confessions are great in stories but usually the wrong choice in relationships.

 

[cuck2011]

I think you are right I have asked her about fantasies and she claims not to really have any. She knows I like anal but when it happens it seeems very much as this is for me and there is a lack of mutual enjoyment if you get me? She probably suspects I am bi but I haven't been very explicit about it. I've shared fantasies in the past and sort of regretted it. When it is a one way street fantasy wise it sort of upsets the balance in a relationship. (DOn't get me wrong, my wife is really cool). Thanks for the feedback

 

[flameinacorset]

It's difficult to know how your wife would react, you're the one who knows her best, so only you can really answer to your own question. And your wife, of course.
Personally, I think I would be mad because I wasn't told before. To me, my boyfriends bi-sexuality would be a turn on.

 

[cuck2011]

thanks flame....she does sort of know, cos she knows I have had gay experiences, but she freaked when i told her so now it is just something that we chalk down to be young and experimentation. I really wish bisexuality was something that turned her on too, but them's the breaks I guess. I suspect she feels that ifg I was bi I would cheat on her or that I'd prefer to say with the other person, for me, being bisexual is all the better when your partner is in on it, I've no interest in any emotional relationships withon anyone else, but wouldn't it be great to be really free about the kinkier side of our natures ah well, thank god for the stories on lit

 

[seat542]

One of the problems is how society treats sex...its easy to meet someone, discuss daliy life, develop mutual interests such as cooking...

'...here try this. It's delicious. Well if you say so, I've never had this before. yummmm, you're right it is good."

but sexual interests....man what a steep road.

 

[LindsayRae]

What are womens thoughts on this, does it change how you view the man?

My first question to you would be, "Does your wife know?" Are you hiding this from her or sharing it?

I cannot speak for others, especially in Ireland since I am not from there, but I am a bisexual woman and love other bisexuals. It is refreshing to find others who are secure within their sexuality to fully enjoy themselves. (Hell, if no one is getting hurt, do it!)

I am also a firm believer that everyone has the "potential" to be bi. I put that in quotes because I know there are far too many who are so afraid of labels that they would deny themselves pleasure.

 

[silver_eyes]

"cos she knows I have had gay experiences, but she freaked when i told her"
Let that be your guide. Some people are fine with it, others aren't. It looks like she isn't, but like you said, them's the breaks. My wife knows I have bi inclinations, and the idea of a bi three way, or her watching me with a man or two, turns her on, but it's only as a fantasy. My wife would freak if she knew I had a couple of encounters with men when I was younger. I had tentatively probed telling her, only to realize that she would not be anything near accepting.
Given what you wrote, I think telling her your bi would upset her greatly. At the current time being male and bi is at the bottom of the sexual totem pole. Don't like it, but it is what it is.
Welcome to being the square peg with nothing but round holes in sight!

 

[flameinacorset]

My first question to you would be, "Does your wife know?" Are you hiding this from her or sharing it?

I cannot speak for others, especially in Ireland since I am not from there, but I am a bisexual woman and love other bisexuals. It is refreshing to find others who are secure within their sexuality to fully enjoy themselves. (Hell, if no one is getting hurt, do it!)

I am also a firm believer that everyone has the "potential" to be bi. I put that in quotes because I know there are far too many who are so afraid of labels that they would deny themselves pleasure.

Could you explain more clearly what you mean when you say everyone has the potential to be bi? Do you mean that you believe that everyone sort of is bi, but not everyone aknowledges that?

 

[LindsayRae]

Well, I thought it was clear. Sorry. What I am saying is, humans are sexual creatures. Most of us follow the belief of "if it feels good, do it". (Some more than others, because they do not take another's safety into mind to achieve their own pleasure!) However, far too many people (more men than women, in my opinion) are worried about being labeled (usually as "gay" instead of "bi" even) to enjoy themselves fully. They deny same sex pleasure for that reason.

Let me ask you this. If someone wanted to give you oral sex, why should you care if that person is a man or woman????

 

[flameinacorset]

Well, I thought it was clear. Sorry. What I am saying is, humans are sexual creatures. Most of us follow the belief of "if it feels good, do it". (Some more than others, because they do not take another's safety into mind to achieve their own pleasure!) However, far too many people (more men than women, in my opinion) are worried about being labeled (usually as "gay" instead of "bi" even) to enjoy themselves fully. They deny same sex pleasure for that reason.

Let me ask you this. If someone wanted to give you oral sex, why should you care if that person is a man or woman????

Oh, I know I wouldn't care who's giving me oral. I haven't gotten any in six years, I'm desparate.
I agree, that there are lots of people who are worried about the labels and that's why they don't fully explore their sexuality. And like you said, most of them are men.
But the thing is, I just don't get turned on by a womans body. I don't give a shit about labels and I probably could even give oral to a woman. But do I desire it? No, I just really don't. I actually wish I was bi, it would open up a lot of possibilities, not just sexually, but relationship wise.

 

[LindsayRae]

Interesting insight.

 

[flameinacorset]

Interesting insight.

Well, don't know about that, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It's all very thoretical at this point because I have no experiences with other women.

 

[minn]

My belief

It is my belief that 10 - 20% of the population will always desire only the opposite sex; 10 - 20% will desire only their own sex; and, the rest fall somewhere in the middle. Social mores, upbringing, personal situations etc. will determine whether or not the ones that fall into the middle will venture out to have sex with their own sex. It is not easy for those of us in a hetrosexual relationship to boldly state that we are proud to admit we are bi-sexual and act on our desires. Many of us do not want to hurt our loved ones yet we have this desire to do something that is not really accepted by society. The definition of a "bi-sexual" is simply one who is sexually attracted to members of both sexes. Based upon the definition am I a bisexual because I would like to try sex with another man? Yes & no. I am not attracted to men. I never look at another man and say "Wow, is he hot!" like I do when I see an attractive woman. However, and this is a big however, I have had sex (only once unfortunately) with another man and I would love to have that experience again. My attraction is not to the male as much as it is to the penis that is attached to the male - give me a good looking lady with nice breasts and a penis and I would be in heaven!

 

[kilkennycpl]

thanks flame....she does sort of know, cos she knows I have had gay experiences, but she freaked when i told her so now it is just something that we chalk down to be young and experimentation. I really wish bisexuality was something that turned her on too, but them's the breaks I guess. I suspect she feels that ifg I was bi I would cheat on her or that I'd prefer to say with the other person, for me, being bisexual is all the better when your partner is in on it, I've no interest in any emotional relationships withon anyone else, but wouldn't it be great to be really free about the kinkier side of our natures ah well, thank god for the stories on lit

where abouts in ireland are ya cluck

 

[cuck2011]

where abouts in ireland are ya cluck

Dublin

 

[kilkennycpl]

Dublin

if ya ever get down round the southeast or kilkenny give me a shout

 

[CandiCame]

Over in the gay section, there's a thread of women who like Bi guys.

For some reason, here in the States, I've found a LOT of chicks who like bi-guys; you can go to a gay bar and pick up chicks, it's weird. I also found out that a lot of my favorite Yaoi authors, and even some of the gay stories I've favorited here are written by women. So I know they're out there.

I even have a T-shirt I got from Oheyo-Con that says, "Will Yaoi for fangirls". Chicks that know what it means are all over me. If they don't know what it means, then they don't worry about it. *shrugs*

 

[cuck2011]

can you recommend some good sites for those stories?

 

[rod43]

pity you are so far away!!!

 

[LindsayRae]

can you recommend some good sites for those stories?

www.literotica.com

 

[Kurokami]

Very nice, Lindsay

Reading the OP, and going through this thread, it makes me realize just how much I lucked out with the wife; here is a woman who not only cheerfully admits to being bi herself (and tells me stories from her past that get a rise out of me every time) but was also completely accepting when I told her I suspected myself of being so inclined too. Not only that, she encouraged me to explore, so long as she could get in on that too; we both discovered that watching the other go gay is a tremendous turn on. Lucky us!