Dos and don'ts of PMs

[SweetNatasha]

Anyone else sick of those form letter PMs?

Guys, the trick is to say something personal about the person you are sending to, so that I know you are actually talking to me, not just sending out a bulk message to everyone hoping to get some action.

I am tired of the PMs that say things like, "I saw some of your posts and they really intrigued me and you seem like someone that would really be fun to get to know." Sure, it's better than, "Got nekkid pics?" But, for all I know you've sent to the same message to hundreds of people here.

Which posts intrigued you? Why? What is it that makes me seem fun to get to know? And what is different about me that made you message me and not those hundreds of other people? That's what I want to know.

Oh, and please don't PM me about this post.

 

[Jessi22]

I've disabled PMs.

When I did have them enabled the messages I received were blunt and creepy, or the smart ones would at-least try make general conversation before getting creepy.

 

[sereneone4u]

Anyone else sick of those form letter PMs?

Guys, the trick is to say something personal about the person you are sending to, so that I know you are actually talking to me, not just sending out a bulk message to everyone hoping to get some action.

I am tired of the PMs that say things like, "I saw some of your posts and they really intrigued me and you seem like someone that would really be fun to get to know." Sure, it's better than, "Got nekkid pics?" But, for all I know you've sent to the same message to hundreds of people here.

Which posts intrigued you? Why? What is it that makes me seem fun to get to know? And what is different about me that made you message me and not those hundreds of other people? That's what I want to know.

Oh, and please don't PM me about this post.

Wonderful post, I totally agree.

 

[Calypso]

Anyone else sick of those form letter PMs?

I am tired of the PMs that say things like, "I saw some of your posts and they really intrigued me and you seem like someone that would really be fun to get to know." Sure, it's better than, "Got nekkid pics?" But, for all I know you've sent to the same message to hundreds of people here.


Oh, and please don't PM me about this post.

I just got one nearly exactly like this!!! AGAIN!!!
I hate to turn of PM 'cause every now & then, something intelligent pops in my box. In fact, I'm chatting up a storm with one of those now!! But the majority are like the one I got today. They just get ignored.

 

[Denny Crane]

I don't PM anyone because threads like this scare me off of it. I'm afraid I'll do something wrong and not live up to your picky fucking standards.

 

[Calypso]

not live up to your picky fucking standards.

We just don't care to get a 'form PM' that's all. We want something personal. What's so fucking picky about that? If you want to chat us up, then put some effort into it & personalize it, that way you'll stand out from the form PM's & we'll be more likely to respond! 'Course if that's too well then you loose!!!

 

[k_m_d_]

We just don't care to get a 'form PM' that's all. We want something personal. What's so fucking picky about that? If you want to chat us up, then put some effort into it & personalize it, that way you'll stand out from the form PM's & we'll be more likely to respond! 'Course if that's too well then you loose!!!

Pardon us for not being overly sympathetic to your plight of having an abundance of people interested in you since you happen to have a pair of tits. Especially when the women that post on this kind of thread are too dense to realize that the spamming PMers won't read it, and the nice guys that will read it are turned off by your gross generalization of males and tone of condescension towards us. It gets really old to see somebody think this is some kind of dark secret that nobody knows about and needs to decry it in a new thread...on a weekly basis.

 

[sereneone4u]

Hmmm wow, not picky at all and getting PLENTY OF PMS as usual.

It is really nice when a man takes a little time and writes something sincere. I personally appreciate it and do my best to respond in a like manner. Friendly Pms are always welcome in my in box.

 

[Denny Crane]

We just don't care to get a 'form PM' that's all. We want something personal. What's so fucking picky about that? If you want to chat us up, then put some effort into it & personalize it, that way you'll stand out from the form PM's & we'll be more likely to respond! 'Course if that's too well then you loose!!!

Actually...I don't PM anyone simply because I don't want to. If I want to talk to someone I'll do it on the board. If there's something I want to know that maybe they might not want to divulge on the board, then I may ask in a PM, but that's usually it. But, honestly, I'm not here to chat anyone up or cyber or role play or any of that stuff. So, I really don't use my PM option unless someone contacts me first.

I know you ladies deal with a lot of creepers that never even post on the board.. they just cruise the threads and PM anything that looks interesting. But it's like k_m_d said... we see threads like this, and we figure it's probably better not to PM at all. I mean...the example that she gave seemed like a sincere PM to me... but he didn't cross some T that needed to be crossed or dot some i that needed to be dotted. He didn't give a specific example of WHAT he found intriguing, or WHY he thought you seemed like someone he might want to know.

 

[sereneone4u]

Actually...I don't PM anyone simply because I don't want to. If I want to talk to someone I'll do it on the board. If there's something I want to know that maybe they might not want to divulge on the board, then I may ask in a PM, but that's usually it. But, honestly, I'm not here to chat anyone up or cyber or role play or any of that stuff. So, I really don't use my PM option unless someone contacts me first.

I know you ladies deal with a lot of creepers that never even post on the board.. they just cruise the threads and PM anything that looks interesting. But it's like k_m_d said... we see threads like this, and we figure it's probably better not to PM at all. I mean...the example that she gave seemed like a sincere PM to me... but he didn't cross some T that needed to be crossed or dot some i that needed to be dotted. He didn't give a specific example of what he found intriguing, or why he thought you seemed like someone he might want to know.

I like to play on the boards a lot too and then if I want to know someone better or they want to know me better (be it friendly or something more) then PM.

 

[theweescotsman]

I like to play on the boards a lot too and then if I want to know someone better or they want to know me better (be it friendly or something more) then PM.

I agree completely, I very rarely PM anyone, and then most likely it would have to be someone I've grown to know, if I have never conversed with the sender on the boards, most likely they just get binned.......anyway don't the creepy PM'ers post the usual stock "nice tits", "wanna fuck", responses on the boards too?

 

[tenderlily]

I do get the "form letter" PM's occasionally but they don't really bother me. In fact I've gotten the same one more than once from the same person which was good for a giggle or two. I'm always pleased to get a cold one without the word "hung" in it or a link to a junk pic.

Pardon us for not being overly sympathetic to your plight of having an abundance of people interested in you since you happen to have a pair of tits. Especially when the women that post on this kind of thread are too dense to realize that the spamming PMers won't read it, and the nice guys that will read it are turned off by your gross generalization of males and tone of condescension towards us. It gets really old to see somebody think this is some kind of dark secret that nobody knows about and needs to decry it in a new thread...on a weekly basis.

k_m_d, so you don't have a pair of tits? Dude...not cool.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Anyone else sick of those form letter PMs?

Guys, the trick is to say something personal about the person you are sending to, so that I know you are actually talking to me, not just sending out a bulk message to everyone hoping to get some action.

I am tired of the PMs that say things like, "I saw some of your posts and they really intrigued me and you seem like someone that would really be fun to get to know." Sure, it's better than, "Got nekkid pics?" But, for all I know you've sent to the same message to hundreds of people here.

Which posts intrigued you? Why? What is it that makes me seem fun to get to know? And what is different about me that made you message me and not those hundreds of other people? That's what I want to know.

Oh, and please don't PM me about this post.

Have you considered maybe that we're not really all that imaginative? I swear, I draw a complete blank most of the time, and having a rolodex of stock phrases handy basically keeps me from saying nothing. Which I guess is my option to exercise anyway.

 

[jcard121]

A letter to the lit community. The pm shes talking about is one I wrote.

I’v been a member for a little over a month, probably not anywhere near as vocal in posts as some of the rest of you. But I tried to make friends as often as I can. And I met some interesting people, to say the least. I also met some phenomenal people. But while I wrote this I realized in the end it didn’t really matter what I say. Most people wouldn’t read this. And those who would, would find a way to say something either crude or so. To the people who were really nice to someone new and understanding, I just wanted to say thank you. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I just wanted friends. Wasn’t even looking to talk about sex, just friends. So what if I used what seemed like a generic letter to try and meet new people. What I wrote in it was true. And if you ever ask anyone of the people who bothered to answer it, I was completely sincere and I did my best to be as kind as I can. I figured people would like a nice cover letter introduction. So I stuck to that. Some people, who I was genuinely worried about because of things they said in their post, I wrote something more deeper, because I was worried about them. But if I wanted to just introduce myself, I used the same basic header. But everything in it was true. I did see your posts, and one or two of them caught my eye. So I decided to say something. I wasn’t asking to cyber, or to send naked pics to anyone. In my post i even said, id love to talk about anything (even not sexual) .I was just asking to talk to someone new. Maybe brighten up their day. Or to keep them company while their at work with some bad jokes. But I guess lit has come to the point where people are distrusting of intentions, and a lot of people believe that because they got burned once, everyone who seems remotely mysterious, must be out to get them. Im sorry if I bothered anyone with it.
But the fact that a whole thread was made by a person because of this, to try and publicly humiliate someone, is just wrong. You could have replied to me and told me how you felt. Alot of people have actually answered me and said Thanks for the pm, but im not interested. And i was fine with that.
What im trying to say is, I get it. You're bombared by pms and strange things. I also get some people are just sick. What i dont understand is why someone would take something sincere and twist it. Again I'm sorry for wasting your time, and i'm really sorry this is long.

 

[Henry]

I tend to steer clear of private messages too. If/when I receive one I will answer it.

 

[sereneone4u]

I’v been a member for a little over a month, probably not anywhere near as vocal in posts as some of the rest of you. But I tried to make friends as often as I can. And I met some interesting people, to say the least. I also met some phenomenal people. But while I wrote this I realized in the end it didn’t really matter what I say. Most people wouldn’t read this. And those who would, would find a way to say something either crude or so. To the people who were really nice to someone new and understanding, I just wanted to say thank you. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I just wanted friends. Wasn’t even looking to talk about sex, just friends. So what if I used what seemed like a generic letter to try and meet new people. What I wrote in it was true. And if you ever ask anyone of the people who bothered to answer it, I was completely sincere and I did my best to be as kind as I can. I figured people would like a nice cover letter introduction. So I stuck to that. Some people, who I was genuinely worried about because of things they said in their post, I wrote something more deeper, because I was worried about them. But if I wanted to just introduce myself, I used the same basic header. But everything in it was true. I did see your posts, and one or two of them caught my eye. So I decided to say something. I wasn’t asking to cyber, or to send naked pics to anyone. In my post i even said, id love to talk about anything (even not sexual) .I was just asking to talk to someone new. Maybe brighten up their day. Or to keep them company while their at work with some bad jokes. But I guess lit has come to the point where people are distrusting of intentions, and a lot of people believe that because they got burned once, everyone who seems remotely mysterious, must be out to get them. Im sorry if I bothered anyone with it.
But the fact that a whole thread was made by a person because of this, to try and publicly humiliate someone, is just wrong. You could have replied to me and told me how you felt. Alot of people have actually answered me and said Thanks for the pm, but im not interested. And i was fine with that.
What im trying to say is, I get it. You're bombared by pms and strange things. I also get some people are just sick. What i dont understand is why someone would take something sincere and twist it. Again I'm sorry for wasting your time, and i'm really sorry this is long.

Hon, those of us that have been at Lit for awhile have a tendency to be a bit jaded, it is the nature of the beast. For every guy that is being sincere, there is another fifty or so that are not. Don't think because us ladies receive a good bit of PMs we are so lucky, we have to wade through them to find the gems and at times it can be tedious and feel hopeless. And if you check out the thread on here about horrible PMs you will see we get some really despicable PMs, it is one of the reasons some ladies are exasperated. Keep plugging along, live and learn, you will make friends in time.

 

[SweetNatasha]

Wow, seems like a might have struck a sore point with some of the guys on the board.

I don't PM anyone because threads like this scare me off of it. I'm afraid I'll do something wrong and not live up to your picky fucking standards.

Denny, I probably shouldn't even bother to respond, but really, is it that picky to want someone to mention something about what it was that made them feel the need to contact me? If you can't be bothered to mention something that you find interesting about me why even contact me?

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar and tell them all about yourself without even a hint of what it is that drew you to that woman rather than all of the others? Hahaha, now that I think about it there are plenty of guys who do that crap in real life. And I guess if they hit on a hundred woman they probably get lucky once.

You'll notice that in the original message I tell you exactly what I want. Is that picky? Is it too hard? If it is too hard, then just don't even bother opening your mouth.

Actually...I don't PM anyone simply because I don't want to...

But it's like k_m_d said... we see threads like this, and we figure it's probably better not to PM at all.

Which is it Denny? You don't want to PM anyone, or you're scared off by threads that give warning that completely impersonal messages might be deleted?

You can't have it both ways!

And is it really so fucking difficult to just mention what it was that got you so interested in me that you wanted to PM me? Again, if that's too much to ask just don't fucking message me.

My suspicion is that you're being intentionally belligerant just because you can and because you feel safe on the other side of the internet. Yawn.

I mean...the example that she gave seemed like a sincere PM to me... but he didn't cross some T that needed to be crossed or dot some i that needed to be dotted. He didn't give a specific example of WHAT he found intriguing, or WHY he thought you seemed like someone he might want to know.

True, they do seem sincere, and do you have any idea how worthless I feel when I respond to them and the guys come back with something that shows it was just a line? Do you have any idea how worthless it makes me feel when I realise that a messge sent to me intended to make me feel special is exactly the same as a message sent to any number of other women? Have you considered that maybe I want to feel a little special? Have you considered that maybe I want to be able to tell when someone is genuinely interested in me? I've met lots of nice people on here, and lot's of not so nice people, and maybe when I delete these messages I miss out on some nice ones, so help me out, and show me you aren't sending the message to every chick you've noticed is online. Is that really too much to ask?

Have you considered maybe that we're not really all that imaginative? I swear, I draw a complete blank most of the time, and having a rolodex of stock phrases handy basically keeps me from saying nothing. Which I guess is my option to exercise anyway.

Oh, Felix, why are you getting upset with me? If you don't have anything imaginitive to say that's fine, I'm not asking for your best line, your best phrase, I'm asking for something personal about me. If you saw a post by me just mention it. The last post I responded to was the sensuous survey, if there's something in there that intrigued you, just say something like, "I saw your response to the sensuous survey and I really liked your answers, I'd love to explore them in a little more detail." That's if you want to be a gentleman, but after all this is a sex site, and if you say something like, "I saw your answers to the sensuous survey and they really turned me on and I'd love to find out more about them," I won't be offended. I mean,seriously, there's some pretty personal information there, obviously I'm not easily offended.

 

[SweetNatasha]

Pardon us for not being overly sympathetic to your plight of having an abundance of people interested in you since you happen to have a pair of tits. Especially when the women that post on this kind of thread are too dense to realize that the spamming PMers won't read it, and the nice guys that will read it are turned off by your gross generalization of males and tone of condescension towards us. It gets really old to see somebody think this is some kind of dark secret that nobody knows about and needs to decry it in a new thread...on a weekly basis.

I won't respond in kind, but I do think you should take another look at the original message, I really don't think it's all that difficult to say something personal about a person you are messaging.

Although, if you're one of those copy and paste people I can see why you would take this so personally.

 

[SweetNatasha]

I’v been a member for a little over a month, probably not anywhere near as vocal in posts as some of the rest of you. But I tried to make friends as often as I can. And I met some interesting people, to say the least. I also met some phenomenal people. But while I wrote this I realized in the end it didn’t really matter what I say. Most people wouldn’t read this. And those who would, would find a way to say something either crude or so. To the people who were really nice to someone new and understanding, I just wanted to say thank you. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I just wanted friends. Wasn’t even looking to talk about sex, just friends. So what if I used what seemed like a generic letter to try and meet new people. What I wrote in it was true. And if you ever ask anyone of the people who bothered to answer it, I was completely sincere and I did my best to be as kind as I can. I figured people would like a nice cover letter introduction. So I stuck to that. Some people, who I was genuinely worried about because of things they said in their post, I wrote something more deeper, because I was worried about them. But if I wanted to just introduce myself, I used the same basic header. But everything in it was true. I did see your posts, and one or two of them caught my eye. So I decided to say something. I wasn’t asking to cyber, or to send naked pics to anyone. In my post i even said, id love to talk about anything (even not sexual) .I was just asking to talk to someone new. Maybe brighten up their day. Or to keep them company while their at work with some bad jokes. But I guess lit has come to the point where people are distrusting of intentions, and a lot of people believe that because they got burned once, everyone who seems remotely mysterious, must be out to get them. Im sorry if I bothered anyone with it.
But the fact that a whole thread was made by a person because of this, to try and publicly humiliate someone, is just wrong. You could have replied to me and told me how you felt. Alot of people have actually answered me and said Thanks for the pm, but im not interested. And i was fine with that.
What im trying to say is, I get it. You're bombared by pms and strange things. I also get some people are just sick. What i dont understand is why someone would take something sincere and twist it. Again I'm sorry for wasting your time, and i'm really sorry this is long.

To be completely honest, I don't even remember the message that finally made me post this thread. My intention wasn't to humiliate anyone, I was finally so frustrated about getting messages that make me feel like all I am worth with is a couple of clicks and a copy and paste that I was going to post something in my profile about it, but then I realised that people would be more likely to see my message in a board I frequent, so I posted it here.

This isn't about you, or any other one person. But as long as we're here, all I am asking for is a little something personal. If I want to read cover letters I can scan profiles or I can scan profiles on dating sites.

Anyway, if you think someone is worth saying more than a simple hello to, you should at least say it to them in a way that is different from you've said to everyone else.

 

[Denny Crane]

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar and tell them all about yourself without even a hint of what it is that drew you to that woman rather than all of the others?

No. I never hit on women in bars either.

Originally Posted by Denny Crane
Actually...I don't PM anyone simply because I don't want to...

But it's like k_m_d said... we see threads like this, and we figure it's probably better not to PM at all.

Which is it Denny? You don't want to PM anyone, or you're scared off by threads that give warning that completely impersonal messages might be deleted?

You can't have it both ways!

When I said "we" it was the collective we...as in men. I don't really want to PM you or any other woman on this site, to be honest.

And I can have it any way I want.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

I really do not understand the problem. I get tons of the stupid messages from zero post guys that wanna sex me up the best I have ever had..... I read them then delete them no biggie.....Some are kind of amusing, but I never actually respond to them....

 

[LilyPru]

I agree with Pinktacokitty....

First world problem: just delete the pms that you don't like, and respond to the ones that you do. Done and done.

 

[clearlight30]

actually to say hi in a pm to a woman you like on here for the first time has the same feeling as walking over to say hi to a woman you meet for the first time

same "what am i going to say feel to it" "what if i get rejected"
the typical stuff

perhaps the best start is just like in real life

i wouldn't walk over to a woman, cock in hand, and say want to suck this?
i would just say hello

 

[goatchick1]

lolol, i would settle for a form letter type pm at this point....90% of what i get are men wanting to know if i fuck my goats and/or danes.....now that is just disgusting to me. i am not passing any judgement really (altho, my personal opinion is sex with animals rates right under sex with children on my lowlife activities people do list) but i have been here years and never once even hinted anywhere that beastiality is something that is in my list of activities....if someone pays me a compliment on my tits or something, which is in the 10% leftover, i politely thank them for the compliment then delete the pm and move on. i talk to the people i want to talk with on the boards, i am not looking to get into a private talk about sex, my life or anything else....the exception to that would be the people that i have gotten to know over the years who had the courtesy to ask before pm'ing me if they could or i asked if i could and we check in with each other privately occasionally to see how each other is "really" doing. i am just not here to pm, i like to visit the threads and leave anything i have to say on them. and now, if someone would please help me down off this soapbox, i will hobble on off into the sunset now!

 

[Whisperly]

Denny, I probably shouldn't even bother to respond, but really, is it that picky to want someone to mention something about what it was that made them feel the need to contact me? If you can't be bothered to mention something that you find interesting about me why even contact me?

Yes. It's picky because if you open yourself up to getting pms, there IS no option to choose who you get mail from and who you don't. So if the cons outweigh the pros for you, then disable them and save yourself the trouble.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar and tell them all about yourself without even a hint of what it is that drew you to that woman rather than all of the others? Hahaha, now that I think about it there are plenty of guys who do that crap in real life. And I guess if they hit on a hundred woman they probably get lucky once.

This isn't a bar, though. It's the internet. The anonymity of the internet makes it easier for people to say what they think - you're doing it now, as am I, as are the people who pm you. You can be totally honest and say exactly what you want, and people can and do and will. But you DO have the option of disabling personal messages, the same as choosing to go to a bar: I'd say a majority of guys who visit bars to get laid WILL be blunt and you will receive some attention you dislike, but you can still choose to ignore that.

You'll notice that in the original message I tell you exactly what I want. Is that picky? Is it too hard? If it is too hard, then just don't even bother opening your mouth.

Going by this thread, and your responses here, you don't exactly make the idea of messaging you into something anyone would want to do. If I were interested in messaging you before, I would be put off now.

True, they do seem sincere, and do you have any idea how worthless I feel when I respond to them and the guys come back with something that shows it was just a line? Do you have any idea how worthless it makes me feel when I realise that a messge sent to me intended to make me feel special is exactly the same as a message sent to any number of other women? Have you considered that maybe I want to feel a little special? Have you considered that maybe I want to be able to tell when someone is genuinely interested in me? I've met lots of nice people on here, and lot's of not so nice people, and maybe when I delete these messages I miss out on some nice ones, so help me out, and show me you aren't sending the message to every chick you've noticed is online. Is that really too much to ask?

You are the sole person responsible for how you feel, not guys, not comments, not people whose pm content you take a dislike to - not ANYONE else. If ANY message/s on lit make you feel worthless, then take some personal responsibility and either disable pms, or disable giving a fuck. It's not the guys fault that you don't like their messages - how the hell was he supposed to know you had such a huge radar for sincerity on a board which features such a light-hearted and liberated attitude towards sexuality and freedom of sexual expression?

Going so far as to say you feel worthless is so extreme. If you feel worthless as a result of unwanted personal messages on an internet forum, I'd say it goes a lot deeper than that, and that you have issues with attention and rejection. You come across as profoundly hypersensitive.
In all my years of being on this forum, likewise getting pm's, I have never even noticed what you describe as "form letter pms", and I've never ONCE questioned the sincerity of a guy who pms me. I can imagine some will be more interested in me than others, some more desperate than others, some who are purely interested in my pic thread and nothing more. It's all good. If you lack companionship, I wouldn't recommend this forum, or any other net forum, as a good place to seek companionship. I don't actually engage with people here for the most part - the most I'll say is thank you in response to the messages I get, as well as engaging in general conversation regarding sexuality in the forum. If you rely on a forum full of horny folk for what you want, you likely won't get what you're after if you want something truly sincere so bad, and lay down your rules with an iron fist in such an overly dramatic way.

Why do you come here? If you come here because you have a deep-seated urge to feel special, and are liable to flip off the handle the moment you get something that doesn't fulfill you, then you're coming here for the wrong reasons. I come here because I just enjoy providing some form of entertainment in the way of my erotic images and videos. I realise that by putting them out there, my pm box is subject to all kinds of weird and wonderful messages, some personal, some impersonal, some short, some long. I've had messages from guys who tell me they'd like to do things with me I wouldn't like in the least. But I'm not interested in lashing out at them or telling them their attention is unwanted to inappropriate, or outlining some list of how to engage in contact with me over lit. If what I put out here is enjoyed, mission accomplished. There's no further issue.

If a guy with a fantasy of tying women up on a gigantic revolving dart board, spraying silly string all over her tits, before forcing his cock down her throat messaged me with a blunt description of performing that specific fantasy including me, then I'd accept that that was his thing, and take the compliment for what it is: take it that I aroused him enough for him to gain pleasure from starring me in that fantasy. The exact same as if a guy messaged me with a generic "like ur pics. here's ma yahoo details. i wanna c u on cam baby xxx" message. Take it as a compliment that you've been messaged rather than asses each one for it's sincerity value.

This environment is similar to that of a bar in that much caution is thrown to the wind and inhibitions go right down. The atmosphere can be liberating if you come here to do the same thing. If you're here to appease your confidence rather than indulge in your pleasure, this is where it leads to the problems you're having.

Oh, Felix, why are you getting upset with me? If you don't have anything imaginitive to say that's fine, I'm not asking for your best line, your best phrase, I'm asking for something personal about me. If you saw a post by me just mention it. The last post I responded to was the sensuous survey, if there's something in there that intrigued you, just say something like, "I saw your response to the sensuous survey and I really liked your answers, I'd love to explore them in a little more detail." That's if you want to be a gentleman, but after all this is a sex site, and if you say something like, "I saw your answers to the sensuous survey and they really turned me on and I'd love to find out more about them," I won't be offended. I mean,seriously, there's some pretty personal information there, obviously I'm not easily offended.

Not everyone who messages you is going to see this thread.
"Obviously" not easily offended? This entire thread is a rant about you not getting messages which appease you. You seem highly offended on account of that fact that you're scrutinizing the sincerity of the messages you get.
I'd strongly encourage you to look elsewhere for what you want, because it seems like pms do you more harm than good if you get a few you dislike.

- Whisperly.