Life can be difficult

[Horseylover]

Ok, some of you may have read the message I left when I got back from work last week, you can se it here http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=37832625&postcount=5615 .

Anyway I’ve had an interesting week in as much as I’ve been at college for three days doing a short course that will help me with running the educational side of matters at the farm during the summer break. It was fun, there were seven girls doing the course, and a few were lots of fun, went out partying every night, well, made it to the pub, and went clubbing on Wednesday. The flip side of it is that I am now a little bit ill.

However that is not the reason I post here, I digress. The girl in question is the reason I post. I finally saw her again at lunchtime today, it had been over a week. She went back to see her gf at the weekend, and I kind of hoped that that would be it and she’d split, do the honourable thing after what we did last Wednesday. But she didn’t. Unfortunately she is now very much in love with her gf and that we will only be friends.

I guess I should have figured from her lack of response to texts, and she wasn’t even interested in my three days away in Norwich. I got back to the farm late last night and went to see her. She and I went for a walk, which wasn’t much fun as she explained how she felt about her gf. She said she liked me and we were good friends who had had fun, but that that was all it would be that she wasn’t going to end her relationship. I was horrified because we have spent the night together a few times and it was a bit distressing that she didn’t seem to recognise this as anything other than a bit of ‘fun’.

So I figure that’s it then. I woken up this morning feeling horrible and asked if I could have the afternoon off so I could go home as I felt unwell. But I wanted to get away from her and felt that I couldn’t really face up to being around her today or tomorrow. Its annoying because she’s the closest I’ve come to building a relationship with anyone since last summer, and I had hoped she felt the same way.

Anyway, had to get it out there, thanks for taking the time to read.

xx

 

[Fmature2play]

But you took a chance and who knows how it will eventually play out. You have to admire her faithfulness to her other love tho. I am betting you will find another to return what you are capable of giving.

 

[weegiebabe79]

Ok, some of you may have read the message I left when I got back from work last week, you can se it here http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=37832625&postcount=5615 .


However that is not the reason I post here, I digress. The girl in question is the reason I post. I finally saw her again at lunchtime today, it had been over a week. She went back to see her gf at the weekend, and I kind of hoped that that would be it and she’d split, do the honourable thing after what we did last Wednesday. But she didn’t. Unfortunately she is now very much in love with her gf and that we will only be friends.

.

I am sorry. i was hoping it would work out for youy. Believe me, I was have been in a position with a boy when i was University. I'm afriaid, unlike the previous poster I don't admire her faithfulness because she was not faithful to her gf in the first place. You are probably better off just as friends and no more and I hope you find someone that is more deserving.

 

[SultryDesires]

Ok, some of you may have read the message I left when I got back from work last week, you can se it here http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=37832625&postcount=5615 .

Anyway I’ve had an interesting week in as much as I’ve been at college for three days doing a short course that will help me with running the educational side of matters at the farm during the summer break. It was fun, there were seven girls doing the course, and a few were lots of fun, went out partying every night, well, made it to the pub, and went clubbing on Wednesday. The flip side of it is that I am now a little bit ill.

However that is not the reason I post here, I digress. The girl in question is the reason I post. I finally saw her again at lunchtime today, it had been over a week. She went back to see her gf at the weekend, and I kind of hoped that that would be it and she’d split, do the honourable thing after what we did last Wednesday. But she didn’t. Unfortunately she is now very much in love with her gf and that we will only be friends.

I guess I should have figured from her lack of response to texts, and she wasn’t even interested in my three days away in Norwich. I got back to the farm late last night and went to see her. She and I went for a walk, which wasn’t much fun as she explained how she felt about her gf. She said she liked me and we were good friends who had had fun, but that that was all it would be that she wasn’t going to end her relationship. I was horrified because we have spent the night together a few times and it was a bit distressing that she didn’t seem to recognise this as anything other than a bit of ‘fun’.

So I figure that’s it then. I woken up this morning feeling horrible and asked if I could have the afternoon off so I could go home as I felt unwell. But I wanted to get away from her and felt that I couldn’t really face up to being around her today or tomorrow. Its annoying because she’s the closest I’ve come to building a relationship with anyone since last summer, and I had hoped she felt the same way.

Anyway, had to get it out there, thanks for taking the time to read.

xx

Horseylover, it always hurts and leaves a person feeling vulnerable, wounded and raw when someone we really like/love doesn't reciprocate the feeling. It's normal and very OK to feel a bit blue,but also know that this too shall pass. Right now, it perhaps might feel like there is noone else , but trust me, there is. Also, if you truly feel she is special , then continue to be the same friend you have always been to her.She may be feeling guilt in regard to her girfriend and think that she is doing the right thing by going back to her.Continue to be yourself and be sincere and show her respect and , Who knows, ...she may begin to feel something deeper than being " just friends".

 

[Horseylover]

Ok, so an update on my life. I have been very busy the last few weeks, throwing myself into my work, long shifts etc. We have had lots of visits that I have helped to sort out, and also one girl has left, so more work for the rest of us. I have spoken to Rachel a few times, but nothing serious, I try to avoid spending much time with her really, which works for both of us, and the group of people working there is large enough for it not to be an divisive issue.

But that is not entirely the reason for me posting here. Two weeks ago I went out with some girlfriends on a night out. It was good, got very tipsy, danced like crazy, spent money I don’t have, the usual. Anyway whilst out my friends did the usual and dared me to snog a bloke (my friends were all straight). Well, being tipsy, and for a laugh, I did. He was quite handsome and it wasn’t too bad. We mixed with his mates, they were a group of students, and we all went back to someones house. Whilst there we continued drinking etc etc and eventually I found myself alone with this bloke in a bedroom. Sooooooooo, one thing led to another, and the gist of it was that I went down on him and gave him a blowjob.

It was the first time I had been with a boy in any way in over two years. Obviously I was really drunk and the following morning I felt bad. But to be honest I hadn’t exactly disliked doing it. He was quite nice, was shaved and it wasn’t that smelly or horrible. I was kind of surprised that I found it so easy, although got a bit of a shock when he came. I forgot about boys doing that and it ended up mostly in my mouth. Oops.

Ok, so what did that mean? Well, I put it down to drunkeness, and maybe being a bit upset at what had happened the previous week with Rachel. But then on the Wednesday following going out that weekend I met up with an old friend who’s in the RAF. He had just been posted to a base about 20mins away. We had a good evening and he made me laugh, took me out for a meal which was a nice break from an otherwise busy week. However at the time I didn’t think much of it, because, well, I’m sure I’m gay.

But this week I have seen him nearly every day. In the evening he has come to the farm and met most of the people there and we have gone on walks etc, although I resisted the invitation to go to his base so far as I wouldn’t feel comfortable. However on Thursday night we were watching a film, sort of snuggled up, when we almost kissed, leant towards one another etc etc. Then he got all-awkward got up and said he should go as it was late.

Now I am even more confused. I think I might like him, or maybe I just need him. I haven’t had a relationship with a boy in over two years and that ended badly. But recently it hasn’t been great with women either. I know in the past I have flitted between being straight/bisexual/and more recently gay. But I don’t want to do anything just in case it’s a result of a backlash against Rachel. Or maybe I’m more interested in the person rather than a specific gender.

Anyway thanks for reading.

xx