New story idea/interracial encounter

[NorthRockJohnson]

I posted this in a thread on The Playground and thought I'd repost it here. There's typos but I'm thinking of expanding it and maybe making it into a story. It's based on a real experience. Feel free to read it and give me some feedback

********


I like women of all colors and flavors but I had a really incredible experience with someone who happened to be a woman of color.

She was light-skinned with medium length hair and beautiful curves that included a large set of 38DD breasts and a lovely round backside. She also had a radiant smile with full beautiful lips that were just perfect for kissing and, as I found out soon enough, other things too.

We went out on a casual date that included dinner and a walk in the park. We sat down on a bench and talked for awhile and at one point I leaned in and kisses her. I was feeling brave and I really wanted to because I liked her. We kissed for awhile and set up plans for another date. I half-jokingly said "How about tomorrow night?" She laughed and said "Okay".

The next night we have dinner and end up back at my apartment. We're on my couch making out, this time we have total privacy so clothes started coming off. Our shirts were off and she took her bra off for me letting her huge gorgeous breasts out for me to squeeze and suckle. They were heavy and soft. My cock is completely hard so she helps me out of my pants letting it spring free. Her mouth went to it and she started sucking hard with those beautiful lips of hers pumping up and down with passion. *I was in heaven.

We moved things to my bedroom where the rest of our clothes came off and I went down on her. Her pussy was neatly trimmed and she was so wet. I had her lay back and she settled in with her legs spread as I went to work. I alternated between tongue fucking her and French kissing her swollen clit. MShe was moaning and whimpering with total lust. At one point I was finger banging her while licking her clit. Finally she screamed as she let loose and came hard, leaving me drenched. I couldn't believe that I actually made her squirt. MSoooo hot.

Finally neither one of us could take it anymore. I put on a condom (Trojan Large) and got on top entering her. We went at it passionately, deep and hard, her big tits bouncing up and down with each thrust. Eventually we switched it up and We went at it doggystyle, her gorgeous ass bouncing against me while she rubbed her clit. We both came together before collapsing into a sweaty heap.

Within the next couple of hours we went at it two more times. We did it every which way. Her on top, doggystyle, her sitting in a chair while I tongue fucked her, her on her knees letting me fuck her tits. We just couldn't get enough of each other. It was amazing.

We had several more encounters after that that were just as good.

So ladies of color, just know that there are plenty of white fellas out there that love you and thing you're the hottest.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to take a cold shower. Lol

 

[3113]

It can certainly be classified as an interracial encounter, but I don't see any story idea

 

[Stella_Omega]

I understand that you want to tell us about your great night of humping, and I bet you'll get good reactions for this one if you post it exactly as is. The stroke crowd will love it.

But if you want to expand it into a story-- you will need a story to expand it into. "I stuck it in her and she went ooh" is not a plot. We already knew that part.

I'm going to point out that when you say "neither one of us could take it any more" you really mean you couldn't. She'd already been taking her pleasure, if you got her to squirt.

If I, as a woman, were writing this story, I would imply that she wanted the intimacy of fucking, while you wanted to cum inside her. Just saying.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Good feedback guys, thanks. Yeah, that's the challenge...trying to turn the whole thing into a STORY. Something to think on. Thanks again!

 

[lovecraft68]

Okay first off on a good note I enjoyed this because it was an interracial story that involved a black woman. Over half of the IR stories on there are the obligatory black stud with the stereotypical big black cock so nice to see it in reverse as I find women of color very attractive and unfortunately those stories are in the minority (pun intended)

On the downside a line like "trojan large" was not necessary I mean is your character insecure and we have to know he is hung?

Next up "we did it every which way" and then you go down the grocery list of positions something like "every position possible ending with her blowing my mind by riding me as I sat in my favorite chair" that's not the greatest either but am loopy on some series migraine medication right now.

As for a story? Well honestly you don;t need anything mind blowing. A simple "I was shooting pool at the bar when I happened to glance over at the table next to me and saw....

A little conversation some flirting and right into what you already have albeit fleshed out a bit more with some extra attention paid to her color and how much you are enjoying it. Doesn't need as much work as you think.

 

[3113]

Story = Complication

Doesn't need as much work as you think.

Um, actually, it does if he wants to make it an actual story rather than an extended interracial encounter--which is what it will be if he does what you told him to do. See, these things called stories, they've got these things call "plots." And plots aren't "we met, we talked, we fucked." Plots are "we met--there was some complication along the way which may have come before, during or after we fucked--the complication was resolved--with or without fucking depending on how one wants to resolve it. The end."

Without the complication, however minor, it ain't a story. Doesn't mean it won't be read or get people off, but it's not a story.

 

[lovecraft68]

Um, actually, it does if he wants to make it an actual story rather than an extended interracial encounter--which is what it will be if he does what you told him to do. See, these things called stories, they've got these things call "plots." And plots aren't "we met, we talked, we fucked." Plots are "we met--there was some complication along the way which may have come before, during or after we fucked--the complication was resolved--with or without fucking depending on how one wants to resolve it. The end."

Without the complication, however minor, it ain't a story. Doesn't mean it won't be read or get people off, but it's not a story.

Depends what he really wants. Understand that the people who post here are some of the better writers on the site (me excluded of course I'm the black sheep) and will of course turn everything into an erotic work of substance. Try surfing stories in random categories and see what is out there.

There is a large audience who just wants to get off. There is plenty of "room" for

"I met her in the bar, we talked, we went back to my place and (insert bad 70's porn music here)

Is that my style? Not really but there is a market and not everyone wants to read a "well thought out piece."

 

[Boxlicker101]

There are a few other things too. Just say her breasts were big and succulent, with big, dark brown nipples, or words to that effect. You don't need an actual number. You described earlier activities in the present tense and later activities in the past tense, which is a no-no. The actions should always be in he past tense, although descriptions of the woman and yourself, including what you like to to, can be in present tense, if the relationship is ongoing.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with writing a stroke story, which is what this is, although there should be a bit more of a buildup. To be good stroke, there has to be more description, such as how it felt when your cock was in her mouth, and what her juices smelled and tasted like, etc.

 

[lovecraft68]

There are a few other things too. Just say her breasts were big and succulent, with big, dark brown nipples, or words to that effect. You don't need an actual number. You described earlier activities in the present tense and later activities in the past tense, which is a no-no. The actions should always be in he past tense, although descriptions of the woman and yourself, including what you like to to, can be in present tense, if the relationship is ongoing.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with writing a stroke story, which is what this is, although there should be a bit more of a buildup. To be good stroke, there has to be more description, such as how it felt when your cock was in her mouth, and what her juices smelled and tasted like, etc.

Yeah see? Doesn't have to be a masterpiece just a masturbation piece.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Depends what he really wants. Understand that the people who post here are some of the better writers on the site (me excluded of course I'm the black sheep) and will of course turn everything into an erotic work of substance. Try surfing stories in random categories and see what is out there.

There is a large audience who just wants to get off. There is plenty of "room" for

"I met her in the bar, we talked, we went back to my place and (insert bad 70's porn music here)

Is that my style? Not really but there is a market and not everyone wants to read a "well thought out piece."

He says he wants to write a story. What-- you don't believe him?

 

[3113]

There is a large audience who just wants to get off.

There is a large audience that just wants to get off Really? Gosh, five fuckin' years on this site and I never knew! How could I have missed that?

Oh. Wait. I didn't.

Let's revisit my post:

Without the complication, however minor, it ain't a story. Doesn't mean it won't be read or get people off, but it's not a story.

Read that bold part several times. I think I understand this.

And just for good measure, here's another thing a lack of a complication doesn't mean: that it won't be posted here, on lit as a "story." Write nothing but two people fucking for twenty pages, it'll get posted here as a "story."

But it's not a story. I'm sorry. It's not. It's just an encounter. Short or long, getting people off or not, rated hotter-than-hot or not, that's all it is.

 

[sr71plt]

I think there's a large audience for this type of work at Lit.--including the "Trojan large" mention (which I think is a fresher approach to giving size than giving inches, if you want to provide a quick image reference). An even wider audience if you got more graphic with the sex scene. Certainly a different audience than most posting to this forum section, though. I think you could just submit it to the Interracial category as is and you'd be pretty pleased at the general reception it was given.

It doesn't have to be written for all audiences, including me.

If you wanted it to be more literary, it needs work. If you like it as it is, it's good to go--but probably not the best idea to post it here and expect applause and tongues hanging out.

There are lots of ways to expand it to a story. One would be to sandwish this scene in a plotline with a dilemma. The first scene could be him giving a ring to his white girlfriend, for instance. Then this encounter. After that it could be the dilemma of maybe preferring chocolate to vanila--and then ending with something happening (I'd probably have both of the women ditching him.)

 

[lovecraft68]

I think there's a large audience for this type of work at Lit.--including the "Trojan large" mention (which I think is a fresher approach to giving size than giving inches, if you want to provide a quick image reference). An even wider audience if you got more graphic with the sex scene. Certainly a different audience than most posting to this forum section, though. I think you could just submit it to the Interracial category as is and you'd be pretty pleased at the general reception it was given.

It doesn't have to be written for all audiences, including me.

If you wanted it to be more literary, it needs work. If you like it as it is, it's good to go--but probably not the best idea to post it here and expect applause and tongues hanging out.

To me trojan large, along with "inches" goes along with the taboo mention of bra/cup sizes. Just say things like well endowed or don't even bother and just describe the cock as being hard. I polled my wife on this (another intended pun) and she says that she honestly never really remembers size descriptions and only focuses on what's being done with it in the stories

I don't think this could make it quite as is. I think there should be some build up and foreplay it just doesn't have to be a magnum opus.

 

[lovecraft68]

There is a large audience that just wants to get off Really? Gosh, five fuckin' years on this site and I never knew! How could I have missed that?

Oh. Wait. I didn't.

Let's revisit my post:

Read that bold part several times. I think I understand this.

And just for good measure, here's another thing a lack of a complication doesn't mean: that it won't be posted here, on lit as a "story." Write nothing but two people fucking for twenty pages, it'll get posted here as a "story."

But it's not a story. I'm sorry. It's not. It's just an encounter. Short or long, getting people off or not, rated hotter-than-hot or not, that's all it is.

You are an ornery little thing today aren't you? As for it note being a story but an encounter that is just semantics.

 

[lovecraft68]

He says he wants to write a story. What-- you don't believe him?

I was being encouraging. If he wants a full blown story then he's up shits creek. Jeez I try to be nice for once and look what I get.

Next time I'll just tell whoever is asking that they flat out suck. Then again that's what we got JBJ for.

 

[sr71plt]

To me trojan large, along with "inches" goes along with the taboo mention of bra/cup sizes. Just say things like well endowed or don't even bother and just describe the cock as being hard. I polled my wife on this (another intended pun) and she says that she honestly never really remembers size descriptions and only focuses on what's being done with it in the stories

I don't think this could make it quite as is. I think there should be some build up and foreplay it just doesn't have to be a magnum opus.

Sorry. I see Trojan large as a quick image identifier. (Where he's sort of missed the boat with it here was being redundant, using it as a parenthetical behind condom. If he'd used it instead of condom, it would be a fresh reference.) And it's not overused (as far as I can see) like cup size is. So I think it's still fresh enough to use. It isn't that 38DD isn't a useful "cut-to-the-chase" image creater in writing--it's that it's overused.

You can go to extremes in rejecting fast identifiers in a story--and folks here at Literotica Criticism Center often do just that.

 

[Stella_Omega]

"Trojan Large" in parentheses like that made me laugh-- at the humor, not at the writer. Of course I had to wonder if it was intentional humor. If it were, more details of that nature would be very engaging.

 

[lovecraft68]

Sorry. I see Trojan large as a quick image identifier. And it's not overused (as far as I can see) like cup size is. So I think it's still fresh enough to use. It isn't that 38DD isn't a useful "cut-to-the-chase" image creater in writing--it's that it's overused.

You can go to extremes in rejecting fast identifiers in a story--and folks here at Literotica criticism center often do just that.

You're probably right and maybe it is my own prejudice. See if writing/reading from a woman's point of view I don't mind the size being described because it is something that would excite her-and in erotica the bigger the better to some degree- However, from the mans point of view describing ones own cock as being huge or whatever description you are using comes across differently. To me it is high school insecurity "Gotta make sure they know I got a big one!"

My way around it when writing from the male pov is to let the woman make a remark about it. I think it depends on the category as well. I will probably put my foot in my mouth with you here but I'll risk it. I would think in GM that size would factor in quite a bit. On the other hand, in romance, or erotic encounters maybe not so much. We all know it comes into play in IR because of the redundant BBC (also overplayed to death in loving wives)

In the end perhaps I am looking at it from my own thoughts and not a "technical" perspective.

 

[sr71plt]

"Trojan Large" in parentheses like that made me laugh-- at the humor, not at the writer. Of course I had to wonder if it was intentional humor. If it were, more details of that nature would be very engaging.

Of course, I don't bother to mess with separate mention of anything smaller than a Trojan Magnum.

 

[lovecraft68]

"Trojan Large" in parentheses like that made me laugh-- at the humor, not at the writer. Of course I had to wonder if it was intentional humor. If it were, more details of that nature would be very engaging.

Makes me think of some kid going up to the drug store counter and ordering condoms and making sure he loudly announces "Large please!" Even if he knows damn well the friggin thing will fall off later

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Um, actually, it does if he wants to make it an actual story rather than an extended interracial encounter--which is what it will be if he does what you told him to do. See, these things called stories, they've got these things call "plots." And plots aren't "we met, we talked, we fucked." Plots are "we met--there was some complication along the way which may have come before, during or after we fucked--the complication was resolved--with or without fucking depending on how one wants to resolve it. The end."

Without the complication, however minor, it ain't a story. Doesn't mean it won't be read or get people off, but it's not a story.

And under no circumstances should the author mention whether the characters are married. People on this board absolutely lose their fucking heads when you mention marital status.

 

[lovecraft68]

And under no circumstances should the author mention whether the characters are married. People on this board absolutely lose their fucking heads when you mention marital status.

Oh grow up with that. Some people apparently lose their heads when someone expresses an opinion that is not consistent with the "porn world" we write in.

In my experience the people who get upset with monogamous people are swingers (and there is nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy) who are not as secure in their lifestyle as they think they are and need to attack monogamy as if it were a disease and that the people who practice it are prudes or insecure themselves.

"it takes a real man to share his wife!" No it takes someone without a desire for or a concept of what a real relationship is.

"Please. It takes a real man (or woman) to give their hearts to one person.

You obviously have something you need to justify. Go watch Dr. Phil or something will you?

Now there did I give you what you wanted? I can try harder next time.

 

[sr71plt]

Makes me think of some kid going up to the drug store counter and ordering condoms and making sure he loudly announces "Large please!" Even if he knows damn well the friggin thing will fall off later

He likely wasn't planning on having sex that involved another person anyway. (Especially if he thought you had to go to the counter to get a package of condoms.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

You're probably right and maybe it is my own prejudice. See if writing/reading from a woman's point of view I don't mind the size being described because it is something that would excite her-and in erotica the bigger the better to some degree- However, from the mans point of view describing ones own cock as being huge or whatever description you are using comes across differently. To me it is high school insecurity "Gotta make sure they know I got a big one!"

A. it arouses fewer women than you'd think. if women writers mention dick size in a story it's most often because they know the men would.

B. Since dick size hardle matters to me at all, I am more interested in the dude's self-perception issues, as revealed by the comment. That reveal, in fact, is sexy to many women, even though not al of them are aware of it. Like the wrist bone, which most women notice-- if you ask them they are incredibly surprised, but will tell you it's true.

My way around it when writing from the male pov is to let the woman make a remark about it. I think it depends on the category as well. I will probably put my foot in my mouth with you here but I'll risk it. I would think in GM that size would factor in quite a bit. On the other hand, in romance, or erotic encounters maybe not so much. We all know it comes into play in IR because of the redundant BBC (also overplayed to death in loving wives)

In the end perhaps I am looking at it from my own thoughts and not a "technical" perspective.

The bolded is a very insightful and astute remark, grasshopper.

 

[sr71plt]

A. it arouses fewer women than you'd think. if women writers mention dick size in a story it's most often because they know the men would.

B. Since dick size hardle matters to me at all, I am more interested in the dude's self-perception issues, as revealed by the comment. That reveal, in fact, is sexy to many women, even though not al of them are aware of it. Like the wrist bone, which most women notice-- if you ask them they are incredibly surprised, but will tell you it's true.

I think that the significant point is that you aren't in the demographic for NorthRock's vignette from the getgo.

Neither am I, but I don't deny that there is such a demographic.