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ha! i just spoke to my guy before he boards the plane to come home... he says he's arriving here at 6-25 this evening, and if i'm late picking him up, i'm in for a 'serious fuckin' slappin'!'
i think i might turn up at 7pm :devil::devil::devil:

Just wondering if WQ has a red butt after her slappin. :devil::D
 
Did I read right, Bandit's 52 and doing boxing? Thats great well done Bandit.:)

Yep I've been doing it for just over 2 years now and have been known to put guys half my age in the shade ;) Trainer Nikki is impressed, I have had her as a partner a few times she is very fit and I manage to just keep up with her :D

It's a great all over workout and definitely helps with stress!
 
Meet BANDIT:heart: anywhere she is always the loverly lady the gym work is mainly a way to keep fit & work off stress, it works wonders for her. :D

lol I'm sure she is a very lovely lady, I was only joking:D
 
Yep I've been doing it for just over 2 years now and have been known to put guys half my age in the shade ;) Trainer Nikki is impressed, I have had her as a partner a few times she is very fit and I manage to just keep up with her :D

It's a great all over workout and definitely helps with stress!

Thats great, 2 yrs, I'm impressed. I bet it does help with the stress.
 
Just wondering if WQ has a red butt after her slappin. :devil::D

not only do i have a red butt (and breasts!)..... i am walking as if i have a pineapple between my thighs!
45 days away, and he's like an 18 yr old :devil:
i am in lust, in love, and all round totally content :eek:
 
Thats

not only do i have a red butt (and breasts!)..... i am walking as if i have a pineapple between my thighs!
45 days away, and he's like an 18 yr old :devil:
i am in lust, in love, and all round totally content :eek:

the way it should be and he should be so sensitive can only use two fingers to pee!
 
Hello everyone!

David here. Found this aussie thread so saying hello. :) I'm a 51 yo from Newcastle, recently divorced. Nice to see some other aussies here. :)
 
David here. Found this aussie thread so saying hello. :) I'm a 51 yo from Newcastle, recently divorced. Nice to see some other aussies here. :)

Welcome David & glad you found the thread, we have been here for some time now but there are Aussies all through LIT.

Drop back here often. :D
 
Hey everyone , how is ya all?

I'm a bit down tonight, anyone got a good, non politically correct joke to cheer me up???

Hit me with the most offencsive thing you can think of!!!

Mike.
 
hi guys :)
i finally did it - i bought a touchpad!
i have caught up with the technological age.... well, i will have, when i finally figure out how to use it :eek:
this was my birthday present to myself. i figured seeing as everyone except my beloved and my eldest son forgot the birthday, i deserved to spend a little on myself.
anyway, hopefully the next time i post, it will be off the samsung ;)
 
hi guys :)
i finally did it - i bought a touchpad!
i have caught up with the technological age.... well, i will have, when i finally figure out how to use it :eek:
this was my birthday present to myself. i figured seeing as everyone except my beloved and my eldest son forgot the birthday, i deserved to spend a little on myself.
anyway, hopefully the next time i post, it will be off the samsung ;)

I did it! I am on my gizmo :)
it will take me a while to learn all of the things this gizmo can do, but right now I am just happy to have figured this much out :cool:
 
4 mog

This could get me in real trouble, but what the hey!

A blonde had two horses, but she couldn't tell them apart. So she asked her neighbour for advice. He suggested that she cut the tail off one of the horses. This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence. So the neighbour suggested notching one of the horses' ear. This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence. So the neighbour suggested measuring the heights of the horses.

And sure enough, the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse.

What happens when a fly falls into a cup of coffee?

The Englishman throws out the coffee and leaves.

The American removes the fly and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese eats the fly and throws out the coffee.

The Japanese drinks the coffee and eats the fly, which is a free extra.

The Israeli sells the coffee to the American, sells the fly to the Chinese and buys himself another cup of coffee.

The Palestinian accuses Israel of violence against him for sneaking the fly into his coffee, gets financial aid from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to buy explosives, and blows up the coffee shop where the British, the
American, the Chinese, the Japanese are trying to explain to the Israeli that he's too aggressive.

And then, he asks the UN for intervention forces.
 
things a male would never say.

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.


9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?


8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.


7. Her tits are just too big.


6. Sometimes I just want to be held.


5. That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" gives me a woody.


4. Sure I'd love to wear a condom.


3. We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.


2. Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch "Murphy Brown."


1. I think we're lost. We better pull over and ask for directions.


things a woman would never say.
10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.


9. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me.


8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.


7. Hey, get a whiff of that one.


6. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.


5. This diamond is way too big.


4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.


3. Wow, it really is 14 inches!


2. Does this make my butt look too small?


1. I'm wrong, you must be right again.
 
I did it! I am on my gizmo :)
it will take me a while to learn all of the things this gizmo can do, but right now I am just happy to have figured this much out :cool:


I just got BANDIT:heart: one of them I thingies but she wasn't happy with it at all. :confused:

It was an I-ron ! :rolleyes:
 
I just got BANDIT:heart: one of them I thingies but she wasn't happy with it at all. :confused:

It was an I-ron ! :rolleyes:

lol :D
i don't do ironing either.
posting using my gizmo is a little harder because I can't type with both hands, but I am slowly getting used to it.
like any new toy, I am playing with the functions.
so far I have already found a handy little feature that tells me where police radars are ;)
 
Happy Birthday WQ - when is the actual day??

Sorry to year you're a bit down, Mog. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

I have to admit that there are so many shitty little things that are going wrong at the moment...and I'm also feeling a little lonely and neglected....BUT for some reason, I'm really happy and none of the shitty things have made me blink. It's odd. But hey, perhaps I'm just getting older and getting better at putting things into perspective??

Thank god it's Friday tomorrow! It's my RDO and I'm going to go hunting for a BBQ so I can have a house warming after Easter some time. :D
 
Happy Birthday WQ - when is the actual day?

My actual birthday was about 3 weeks ago :)
this was a late pressie.
but I earned it - I have been laid out with this bloody tendonitis, and had the most incredibly painful cortisone injections to try and help (which left me bawling in pain for 3 days!) so I feel like spending a little on myself to heal the ouchies was only right :D

bbq housewarming - the absolute best!
 
lol :D
i don't do ironing either.
posting using my gizmo is a little harder because I can't type with both hands, but I am slowly getting used to it.
like any new toy, I am playing with the functions.
so far I have already found a handy little feature that tells me where police radars are ;)

Fact is we still have the same I-ron as when BANDIT:heart: moved in with me & I have had it for many years prior & it's major use is as a door stop, don't even know if it still works.

Police radar would be a benifit to know but the NSW RTA also has it's own mobile radar units I guess to add to the RTA coffers.
 
sorry

Fact is we still have the same I-ron as when BANDIT:heart: moved in with me & I have had it for many years prior & it's major use is as a door stop, don't even know if it still works.

Police radar would be a benifit to know but the NSW RTA also has it's own mobile radar units I guess to add to the RTA coffers.

if it is not permapress(sp) I trash it
 
Fact is we still have the same I-ron as when BANDIT:heart: moved in with me & I have had it for many years prior & it's major use is as a door stop, don't even know if it still works.

Police radar would be a benifit to know but the NSW RTA also has it's own mobile radar units I guess to add to the RTA coffers.

thankfully, here in tas they have to tell us the location of every camera, fixed or mobile!
this gismet will keep me safe... especially as i am a bit of a hoon :cool:

ironing is best done drunk :D you can put interesting patterns in the back of your shirts!
 
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