A bad choice of words.

[twelveoone]

An anon comment
Loved the shape. Some people may view it as contrived, but isn't poetry a contrivance?
Technically yes.
contrivance
*
A thing that is created skillfully and inventively to serve a particular purpose

*
The use of skill to bring something about or create something
so far so good, next up
*
A device, esp. in literary or artistic composition, that gives a sense of artificiality

contrived
Obviously planned or calculated; not spontaneous or natural; labored:
so of course poetry is contrived.

but poetry relies on Connotation not Denotation, and the subtle not the obvious.

Most good poets would not view it as a compliment, more as a complaint.

 

[bronzeage]

A contrivance would be in the same class as a forced rhyme.

 

[Maria2394]

An anon comment
Loved the shape. Some people may view it as contrived, but isn't poetry a contrivance?
Technically yes.
contrivance
*
A thing that is created skillfully and inventively to serve a particular purpose

*
The use of skill to bring something about or create something
so far so good, next up
*
A device, esp. in literary or artistic composition, that gives a sense of artificiality

contrived
Obviously planned or calculated; not spontaneous or natural; labored:
so of course poetry is contrived.

but poetry relies on Connotation not Denotation, and the subtle not the obvious.

Most good poets would not view it as a compliment, more as a complaint.

Dear 1201-

where was that particular comment left? I only ask because I am curious about the shape referred to.

~ m

 

[Angeline]

Sometimes the shape really serves the purpose of the poem, but I think it's pretty rare here for people to be writing with a specific shape in mind. I know Bogus is with his boxy short narrative poems, but anyone else?

I do pay attention to the shape of my poems but usually it's more about trying to break my lines so nothing sticks out too much and distracts the reader. Of course if you are paying more attention to the shape than the words, you are likely badly off track.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The poem referred to above

 

[twelveoone]

Sometimes the shape really serves the purpose of the poem, but I think it's pretty rare here for people to be writing with a specific shape in mind. I know Bogus is with his boxy short narrative poems, but anyone else?

I do pay attention to the shape of my poems but usually it's more about trying to break my lines so nothing sticks out too much and distracts the reader. Of course if you are paying more attention to the shape than the words, you are likely badly off track.

Keep in mind, I like ee cummins, I've done some unusual things. The shape was is as a string of pearls, I tried to see a justification for it. But it did come off as a distraction.

Either it supports or it distracts.

as a comparison, here is a dissenting one on one of mine:
Anonymous10/13/05
hum...

I have seen such disjoining...and separation...no flow...no fountain...no river...just chaos....

ohh, what was the score?

I would like to hear oneiria's reason for it. It may be a good one. I left a four and a name, fair enough?

 

[bronzeage]

Sometimes the shape really serves the purpose of the poem, but I think it's pretty rare here for people to be writing with a specific shape in mind. I know Bogus is with his boxy short narrative poems, but anyone else?

I do pay attention to the shape of my poems but usually it's more about trying to break my lines so nothing sticks out too much and distracts the reader. Of course if you are paying more attention to the shape than the words, you are likely badly off track.

I consider shape poems to be etudes. They constrain the poet and force the mind to consider many various words and phrases to express the image and thought. Past this, I don't see any point to them.

As you said, the words are what matters. Inserting extra had's, has's and haves, just to make the shape conform spoils the read.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

There's a wonderful poem on here somewhere in the shape of a ballerina and we all had to do a concrete poem for survivor, so there are a few dotted around

 

[champagne1982]

There's a wonderful poem on here somewhere in the shape of a ballerina and we all had to do a concrete poem for survivor, so there are a few dotted around

That would be jthserra's poem. Jim has some amazing pieces in his Literotica collection and has written excellent articles on most oriental poetry. But, onward; his shaped poem submission: Delusional Ballet.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

That would be jthserra's poem. Jim has some amazing pieces in his Literotica collection and has written excellent articles on most oriental poetry. But, onward; his shaped poem submission: Delusional Ballet.

Thanks Champ and anybody that doesn't see the beauty in that poem has got no soul

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Thanks Champ and anybody that doesn't see the beauty in that poem has got no soul

I agree - and agree with Emma_Tate when she left this comment -

"I am a fan
and when I came upon this poem linked, I had to read it. Excellent work and I think I have finally come to understand why you rarely frequent the poetry board. It is a loss to those of us who stay and waddle through the junk that is acclaimed and praised. An era ended when you "left." "

I miss Jim too.

 

[Maria2394]

The poem referred to above

Thank you , Annie

I give the author respect for his or her patience for setting that shape. I couldn't do it.



~ m

 

[UnderYourSpell]

one of my early ones is sort of shaped I just asked the editor to centre it

 

[twelveoone]

by Anonymous

Poetry needs to provoke, or puzzle. To thread our thoughts.

This could possibly appeal to those fed a litany of cliche and platitude as they venture from the cable channels to the 'net. Sentimental, but sorry, only as pathos.

pa·thos

–noun
1.
the quality or power in an actual life experience or in literature, music, speech, or other forms of expression, of evoking a feeling of pity or compassion.
2.
pity.
3.
Obsolete . suffering.

ahh, OK:
—Can be confused:  bathos,


ba·thos

–noun
1.
a ludicrous descent from the exalted or lofty to the commonplace; anticlimax.
2.
insincere pathos; sentimentality; mawkishness.
3.
triteness or triviality in style.

—Synonyms
2. maudlinness, tearfulness; mush, gush, schmaltz. 3. insipidity, inanity.

which is what I think you meant, now where would you pick up such a word, what possibly could have impressed you? this?
* In another context, this is essentially the declination (sic; SP) of mono no aware (literally "the pathos of things")
Thank you for following me around, and the low score. I do like it when you try to confuse the newbs.

*************************************************************
As for the "new poets", I am not that nice, but you will know where it is coming from.
AND IF YOU WANT TO WRITE IT, READ IT.

 

[bogusagain]

A contrivance would be in the same class as a forced rhyme.

There is more definitions of contrive in the Shorter Oxford Dictionary than Websters, the Oxford dictionary having several more positive definitions. I know this because I spent a lot of time arguing with an American friend about a sentence where 'contrive' was a crucial element to its meaning. To my American friend, 'contrive' was negative but it can also be positive as in 'engineering through ingenuity'.

Damn. Lost my train of thiought and can't remember where I was going with this. I'll have to come back if my senility gives me a reprieve.

 

[bronzeage]

There is more definitions of contrive in the Shorter Oxford Dictionary than Websters, the Oxford dictionary having several more positive definitions. I know this because I spent a lot of time arguing with an American friend about a sentence where 'contrive' was a crucial element to its meaning. To my American friend, 'contrive' was negative but it can also be positive as in 'engineering through ingenuity'.

Damn. Lost my train of thiought and can't remember where I was going with this. I'll have to come back if my senility gives me a reprieve.

There is nothing bad, only things badly used.

I am sure there are many delightful contrivances.

 

[girlsmiley]

An anon comment
Loved the shape. Some people may view it as contrived, but isn't poetry a contrivance?
Technically yes.
contrivance
*
A thing that is created skillfully and inventively to serve a particular purpose

*
The use of skill to bring something about or create something
so far so good, next up
*
A device, esp. in literary or artistic composition, that gives a sense of artificiality

contrived
Obviously planned or calculated; not spontaneous or natural; labored:
so of course poetry is contrived.

but poetry relies on Connotation not Denotation, and the subtle not the obvious.

Most good poets would not view it as a compliment, more as a complaint.

To throw

Throwing

Always a throw

never a throw

Slap a throw

catch a throw

never leaving a throw

never miss a throw

fucking throw

disappointed

throw.