If I knew then...

[Keroin]

A conversation with a friend, recently, brought this question to mind: "If we could have all the knowledge we gain in old(er) age, in our youth, would the world be a better place?"

I'm tempted to say yes but then I also believe there's something to be said for that youthful ignorance that makes us leap out and attempt the impossible. Great things have been accomplished by people who just weren't smart enough to know they couldn't be done.

And yet...

And yet, I think of how much more I could have accomplished with the kind of wisdom gained only through experience. A 40, 50, 60, 70 year old mind in a 19 year old body?? Yowza!

Not to mention all the heartache that could have been avoided.

So, if you could go back and do it all again with the knowledge and experience you have now, would your life be better? Would the world be better if we could all do it?

What do you know now that you wish you'd known then?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

The impossible and ignorant is very, very fun.

What I want is doing it the normal way first, then a do-over, with a wiser mind.




And mind-control powers. Mmmmmmmmm. Yeah. And a jetpack.

 

[the captians wench]

When I was 18/19 I was even more reserved than I am now. I never really had that "take the world by storm" attitude. It's been later in life that I've learned if you fall on your face there's always a way to pick yourself up and try again.

The most rebelous thing I did when I was 18 was get married. And that was after 3 years of planning, budgeting, nagotiating and putting all my ducks in a row.

So at least in my case, I don't think I'd be better off.

 

[Tilia_Fondi]

Thats a tough one actually. I think there are many things people would change in hindsight but would that change who we are now?

I love my life at the moment and although, thinking back, there are things I would would have liked to be different at the time, I wouldn't want it to change my life as it is now.

I also think its important to make mistakes when your young, then it allows you to know what you really want from life. And as 'they' say, ignorance is bliss and its good to enjoy your youth without having concerns about the state of the world etc.

 

[FloggingMolly]

I wish I could go back and give my then self a kick up the arse and tell her to knuckle down and fly right.

 

[DVS]

If I knew then, I wouldn't have shot the guy. It's too bad, but what's done is done. But, it's only murder if you get caught, right?
















oops...you didn't hear any of this. I know you'll keep my secret. We're all friends, here. Right? RIGHT?

 

[Keroin]

What I want is doing it the normal way first, then a do-over, with a wiser mind.

Yes! This!

And a jetpack.

Yes! This!

When I was 18/19 I was even more reserved than I am now. I never really had that "take the world by storm" attitude. It's been later in life that I've learned if you fall on your face there's always a way to pick yourself up and try again.

The most rebelous thing I did when I was 18 was get married. And that was after 3 years of planning, budgeting, nagotiating and putting all my ducks in a row.

So at least in my case, I don't think I'd be better off.

So, I'm confused, Wenchie. Are you saying that life was better when you were less of a risk taker?

Thats a tough one actually. I think there are many things people would change in hindsight but would that change who we are now?

Well, I think, in many ways, I am still fundamentally the same person now that I was when I was nineteen, on the inside. If you passed me on the street then, you'd likely have seen the same goofy grin that you will see if you pass me on the street now. What's changed, mostly, is my thought and decision making process, and my behaviour. Hm.

I wish I could go back and give my then self a kick up the arse and tell her to knuckle down and fly right.

Oh good cod, the arse kicking I would give my younger self...

oops...you didn't hear any of this. I know you'll keep my secret. We're all friends, here. Right? RIGHT?

$29.95

 

[Chiara_searches]

What do you know now that you wish you'd known then?

What I know now that I wish I knew then:

1) It's okay to be a feminist and sexually submissive;

2) Student loans take a lllllloooooonnnnnggggg time to pay off, so pick a career you love, not just like (I didn't ); and

3) It really is okay to leave a relationship when it clearly hasn't worked for a long while (after trying your best of course) regardless of any "vow" you took.

 

[Keroin]

What I know now that I wish I knew then:

1) It's okay to be a feminist and sexually submissive;

2) Student loans take a lllllloooooonnnnnggggg time to pay off, so pick a career you love, not just like (I didn't ); and

3) It really is okay to leave a relationship when it clearly hasn't worked for a long while (after trying your best of course) regardless of any "vow" you took.

Three excellent points!

(Sorry about the student loans.)

 

[chy_girl]

Not to mention all the heartache that could have been avoided.

So, if you could go back and do it all again with the knowledge and experience you have now, would your life be better? Would the world be better if we could all do it?

What do you know now that you wish you'd known then?

I'd leave it the same. Even the sucky parts. To change any part of the past means that I'd be a different person today. I wouldn't be me. That means I wouldn't have helped along the people I have. I wouldn't have made the differences I have.

I'm kind of glad that I can only change my choices today. It gives me practice for the choices I have to make tomorrow and it means I don't have to try to figure out how to undo my choices of the past.

Besides, I'd hate to unintentionally unravel some part of the time/space continuum thingy. Knowing my luck I'd end up causing some kind of nuclear incident that blew up the world. Or worse, just the chocolate supply.

 

[CutieMouse]

The good part of me says meh... I wouldn't change anything because then I wouldn't be who I am.

The fairy tale part of me that can wave a magic wand and make anything happen says I'd have applied to more colleges, had a hell of a lot more sex (which at 19 I hadn't had yet), I would have been much much braver, I would not have gotten married, and I probably wouldn't have had children. I'd have figured out a way to finish college and spent the rest life playing with art and history and seeing how much I could accomplish...

 

[FurryFury]

I do think the world might be better if we lived our lives backward or something WITH the wisdom and knowledge we gain throughout our lives. Yep.

FF

 

[Keroin]

Or worse, just the chocolate supply.

That's not even funny.

(Honestly, warn me next time before you post something so frightening!)

 

[Tilia_Fondi]

But if everyone here is happy with how their life is now why would you go back and change things, knowing it could potentially change the way things are and you'd perhaps not enjoy your life?

On the other hand, if someone isn't happy with their life at the moment I can see why they would want to change the past. The way I see it is what is in the past is just that... in the past and as long as I'm happy now thats all that matters

I never used to be so content with my life but a random discussion I had with a friend changed my outlook. One friend said to another - 'what would you give your life out of 10?'. To my amazement, she answered 10 (to be fair she did have a pretty sweet life!). I couldn't believe that, I said to her that I didn't think anyone would give their life 10 out of 10 and that mine would have been about a 6.

It seems silly that conversation could change my whole outlook, but since then if there was anything where I thought 'i'd like to try that', I just did, and now I would probably give my life 9.5... theres always some room for improvement! Although the only possible thing I could think to improve my life would be to win the lotto or something and since thats not likely to be happening, I'd say I'm damn happy with my lot.

It would be interesting to see what marks others would give their current life...

 

[the captians wench]

So, I'm confused, Wenchie. Are you saying that life was better when you were less of a risk taker?

I don't think it was better, but then I'm still not much of a risk taker.

I really don't think much differently than I did then was more my point. I've always been a planner, always calculate every move I make, and don't make a decision lightly.

I'm not sure that there is anything I would advize younger me. Maybe in another 10 years I'll have something to tell myself.

I want to say that I'd tell younger me to go to collage, but I remember the reason I decided not to go, and it wasn't so much because I was getting married (even though that's what I told people). I didn't want to presure of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life and spend 4 years and tons of money and only part of it being relevant to what I need to learn to do what I want to do, and then decide it's not what I want to do. And I keep putting off getting a degree of some sort because I really don't see the need for it, though I'll tell people I'm just too busy. So I wouldn't.

Maybe I just haven't had enough experience yet. *shrug*

 

[wicked woman]

Interesting question...the fateful approach of the cumulation of my experiences make me who I am, and for the most part I'm happy with myself and my life versus knowing that my life didn't turn out anything like I thought it would.


Lessons I wish I knew when I was younger:

That it's extremely important who you marry and making a bad choice is life altering.

That yes I was hurt by my divorce, but in trying to protect myself from getting hurt after, I paid a higher price by cutting myself off from potential relationships.


Part of me would like a re-do, but if I fix the first point, that means I wouldn't have had my sons...and that's not going to happen....so I'm fine with what I got thanks.

 

[Stella_Omega]

If I knew then that I could alter my gender...

Ah, well. I probably would have died in the first wave of AIDS.

There's a lot more.

 

[Nidhogg]

I do think the world might be better if we lived our lives backward or something WITH the wisdom and knowledge we gain throughout our lives. Yep.

That is how Merlin lived...kinda. He was born at the end of time and aged backwards. And yes...it probably made for one fucked up puberty.

So, if you could go back and do it all again with the knowledge and experience you have now, would your life be better? Would the world be better if we could all do it?

What do you know now that you wish you'd known then?

I have had a rough life. As in really rough. Don't worry I'm not going to lament or bemoan my wretched lot in life or anything stupid like that. Now it is true that all the crap I've gone through has given me a lot of wisdom, but it is long past the point where I can make anything of it. That being said, I wouldn't want to go back and try again with what I know or be in a world where we grow up with all the wisdom to make adult choices.

I may have messed my life up, but the stupid and reckless things I did when I was younger made a lot of other lives better. If I had any sense in my head back then I wouldn't have done any of it.

The world needs recklessness. Because a reckless person can make a massive change that cautious people would never be able to achieve.

The world also needs wisdom. Because a wise person will make sure the change sticks, and that the reckless person didn't throw it all away for nothing.

There are only two things I wish I knew back then. Two little things that took too long to realize. Do me a favor and pass these along.

"You don't need a reason to help people."
"You should never regret doing the right thing."

 

[Kojote]

So, if you could go back and do it all again with the knowledge and experience you have now, would your life be better? Would the world be better if we could all do it?

What do you know now that you wish you'd known then?

Would my life be better?
Possibly. Even Probably.
At least from a point of view like the financial one.

Would the world be better if we all could do it?
Same. But who would actually make the painful experiances one can learn from, if all could go back and make them undone?
Paradox ...

The last question intrigues me.
Had to think it over and came to the conclusion:
Nothing.

If I would have known something in advance, I might have chosen other paths.
And on the other hand: I knew that the things I did were false before and did them anyway.

But any tiny fucking bit of pain lead to what I am now and there's no way I want to be anything else.
I'm far from perfect. I'm far from understanding everything I’d like to. I didn't study archeology, physics or all the other things I would have loved to.
But as Gloria said: I am what I am.
And since I really like what I am; and since I left more people happy after meeting me than crying; and since I could be much worse of besides a little better ...
I think longing for more than I actually have would be nothing than greedy.

And above all:
I’m 34. I am young and have learned some really important lessons. And I look better than ever.
So it seems the wish came already true, eh?!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I'd leave it the same. Even the sucky parts. To change any part of the past means that I'd be a different person today. I wouldn't be me. That means I wouldn't have helped along the people I have. I wouldn't have made the differences I have.

Same.

Sometimes I wish I could erase the spectacular fail that was my relationship with my ex. Yeah, it had it's good parts, but the bad far outweighed the good.

But without that bad, I wouldn't have learned the things I did, and I wouldn't have such a good one now.

I wish I had have had some forwarning that I'd spend a chunk of my twenties in that relationship though, and in a depressive, anxious funk. I would have made better use of the times I *was* doing ok.

 

[Tilia_Fondi]

Would my life be better?
Possibly. Even Probably.
At least from a point of view like the financial one.

Would the world be better if we all could do it?
Same. But who would actually make the painful experiances one can learn from, if all could go back and make them undone?
Paradox ...

The last question intrigues me.
Had to think it over and came to the conclusion:
Nothing.

If I would have known something in advance, I might have chosen other paths.
And on the other hand: I knew that the things I did were false before and did them anyway.

But any tiny fucking bit of pain lead to what I am now and there's no way I want to be anything else.
I'm far from perfect. I'm far from understanding everything I’d like to. I didn't study archeology, physics or all the other things I would have loved to.
But as Gloria said: I am what I am.
And since I really like what I am; and since I left more people happy after meeting me than crying; and since I could be much worse of besides a little better ...
I think longing for more than I actually have would be nothing than greedy.

And above all:
I’m 34. I am young and have learned some really important lessons. And I look better than ever.
So it seems the wish came already true, eh?!

Your right, everything has made you who you are and if there is anything that you wish you had done in the past, YOU CAN STILL DO! Why don't you study archaeology or physics now? You might have to juggle a couple of things in your life but your only here once and if there is something you want to do, then just do it. We are so lucky in the developed world to have opportunities to do these kinds of things.

 

[DVS]

$29.95

Would you take a check or maybe paypal?

$29.95 buys your silence? That's cheap.

 

[Keroin]

When I've had more tea, I'll come back and respond in full to all of the wonderful posts but this...

"You should never regret doing the right thing."

...should be on billboards, bathroom walls, bumper stickers, t-shirts, tattoos, the back of cereal boxes, pop up windows, and shouted from the tree tops.

Of course the "right thing", whether it is the right thing for us as individuals, or the right thing for others and the world at large, is usually the thing we resist both consciously and subconsciously, the thing we have a million reasons (excuses) not to do, the thing we talk ourselves out of, the thing that seems so difficult and painful it might as well be impossible, the thing that is the least satisfying in the immediate moment and perhaps will never be satisfying in any tangible way.

Doing the right thing often means we must knowingly break our own heart.

 

[Chiara_searches]

Doing the right thing often means we must knowingly break our own heart.

Exactly.

 

[KoPilot]

If I was as bitter as I am now, I'd have hung myself at the ripe age of 8!