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warrior queen said:
well, i've had a bit of a shock this morning.
turned on my cellphone and found a message from my daughter on there, sent last night.
she wants to come home.
this should be cause for celebration :(
but things have changed a lot since she ran away..... i now have the littlest kidley bean here (and he's been thro a LOT with her, as well as all the other stuff he's dealing with re his bastard-dad).
part of me wants to grab the girl-child and bring her home..... but a bigger part of me knows she'll just end up doing this again - and hurting the littlest kidley even more in the process :(
as well as hurting myself and her big bro too :(
and she's done a load of things since she left that i don't condone.....

sooooooo bloody conflicted :(
Click to expand...

WQ, I can't come up with any ideas for you apart from meet her & see how her attitude has changed or if it has, have the people putting her up become fed up with her, is she in need or any number of other things that could of happened or changed talking is the only way to find out.
Hope things go well with this & understand when you say she has done loads of things you don't condone as been there myself with mine.
 
warrior queen said:
well, i've had a bit of a shock this morning.
turned on my cellphone and found a message from my daughter on there, sent last night.
she wants to come home.
this should be cause for celebration :(
but things have changed a lot since she ran away..... i now have the littlest kidley bean here (and he's been thro a LOT with her, as well as all the other stuff he's dealing with re his bastard-dad).
part of me wants to grab the girl-child and bring her home..... but a bigger part of me knows she'll just end up doing this again - and hurting the littlest kidley even more in the process :(
as well as hurting myself and her big bro too :(
and she's done a load of things since she left that i don't condone.....

sooooooo bloody conflicted :(
Click to expand...

If staying with you isn't an option due to the risk, you can always stay strong and firm with her whilst helping her find a place nearby. She's close enough to see more often, but not living with you. Might be an adequate buffer.

That depends on if she's in a position to live alone, or if there are friends of family willing to lend her a bedroom.

Hope it works out! I've learned the cruel to be kind, and tough love stuff is often the best in the long run. Giving in and letting her stay may just show her that she gets her way. I'd be firm, yet calm. Show that you won't take anymore shit, and that if she does live with you that she is only there on probation and has to live by your rules, not her own. Hell, ask her to sign a list of things that are acceptable, and ones that are not...so you have proof she agreed to certain conditions prior to the move in, and if she breaks any of those that you have clear grounds to kick her out again.

Tough love. But the best kind considering what she sounds like. Tough yet caring I suppose would be a better aim for you.
 
softey1 said:
honey you have a full plate , hang ,it will work out !:rose:
Click to expand...

you're right - at the moment i have a full plate.

Gil_T2 said:
WQ, I can't come up with any ideas for you apart from meet her & see how her attitude has changed or if it has, have the people putting her up become fed up with her, is she in need or any number of other things that could of happened or changed talking is the only way to find out.
Hope things go well with this & understand when you say she has done loads of things you don't condone as been there myself with mine.
Click to expand...

that's just it, i don't think her attitude has changed at all :(
she's become worse, if anything.
i hear that she's fighting with other teens, upsetting people who have been putting her up, and just generally shutting doors behind her so that she's created an environment for herself where no-one wants to give her a place to stay anymore.
that's the only reason she's asked to come back.... the perceived 'safety net' of mum.

DormantEvil said:
If staying with you isn't an option due to the risk, you can always stay strong and firm with her whilst helping her find a place nearby. She's close enough to see more often, but not living with you. Might be an adequate buffer.

That depends on if she's in a position to live alone, or if there are friends of family willing to lend her a bedroom.

Hope it works out! I've learned the cruel to be kind, and tough love stuff is often the best in the long run. Giving in and letting her stay may just show her that she gets her way. I'd be firm, yet calm. Show that you won't take anymore shit, and that if she does live with you that she is only there on probation and has to live by your rules, not her own. Hell, ask her to sign a list of things that are acceptable, and ones that are not...so you have proof she agreed to certain conditions prior to the move in, and if she breaks any of those that you have clear grounds to kick her out again.

Tough love. But the best kind considering what she sounds like. Tough yet caring I suppose would be a better aim for you.
Click to expand...

after meeting and talking with her youth support worker today, i'm of the mind that this is a good time to make my daughter learn a really deep life lesson.
so, i am refusing to allow her back into my home.
i have to consider my youngest child in the middle of all this - and he's had enough to deal with without having to deal with his disrespectful and disruptive sister (i've been doing everything to ensure the youngest kidlet is in a stable and supportive home - especially after the enormous betrayal done by his father)
anyway, i'm not taking daughter back.... she needs to learn that the choices she has made in the last few months are what have led her to this place... and she needs to learn to fix it herself.
mummy isn't there to fix it for her any more.
 
softey1 said:
cost to much and hard to find sponser to help out !
Click to expand...

Dosen't cost much for the low dollar divisions like I ran because I didn't have the money to run a better division but I still had lots of fun doing it.
 
warrior queen said:
you're right - at the moment i have a full plate.



that's just it, i don't think her attitude has changed at all :(
she's become worse, if anything.
i hear that she's fighting with other teens, upsetting people who have been putting her up, and just generally shutting doors behind her so that she's created an environment for herself where no-one wants to give her a place to stay anymore.
that's the only reason she's asked to come back.... the perceived 'safety net' of mum.



after meeting and talking with her youth support worker today, i'm of the mind that this is a good time to make my daughter learn a really deep life lesson.
so, i am refusing to allow her back into my home.
i have to consider my youngest child in the middle of all this - and he's had enough to deal with without having to deal with his disrespectful and disruptive sister (i've been doing everything to ensure the youngest kidlet is in a stable and supportive home - especially after the enormous betrayal done by his father)
anyway, i'm not taking daughter back.... she needs to learn that the choices she has made in the last few months are what have led her to this place... and she needs to learn to fix it herself.
mummy isn't there to fix it for her any more.
Click to expand...

Sadly it seems she is continuing to burn her bridges with out thinking of her own future & it seems the decision you have made will be the right one at this time.
 
Last edited:
Sounds like you are making the sound decision. And your name in this instance is suiting you very nicely.

Stay strong, don't take shit...and look after those who haven't burned the bridges.

Good luck.
 
Warrior Queen - goodness! How stressful. I think that is the best desicion which could have been made, under the circumstances. I hope things settle down for you soon.

Now that my boss has finally approved my leave - I have finally booked the removalist!! Yippee! Only 11 more sleeps until I'm moving into my new home! Bring on the bathroom renovations, I'm so excited about having an ensuite and walk in robe!!

And, as promised...a photo from the Hen's night:
http://i54.tinypic.com/2d8hxk9.jpg
I do have one of us all, but I don't feel comy posting photos with people's faces (without their permissions).

Almost Friday...I hope everyone has a great start to the weekend.
PP
:rose:
 
WQ, as I told my daughter when she was having job difficulties and health issues, you have to look after yourself first. If having your daughter back in your house is going to cause major problems for you and the other kidleys, then it's better she doesn't come home (sad to say) :(

Regarding my own kidley (not so kidley anymore, she's 23 :eek: ) she txted me the other day to say she's back to being unwell (rash, flu like symptoms) so has had blood tests and has had to go stay with her boyfriend so he can look after her. I'm changing my mind about him a bit now because not every guy would put up with having a girlfriend who's been sick for three months. She finishes up work on April 13 but i don't think she'll see it out somehow, she's deathly tired.

I've suggested she get a doctor's certificate and see if she can get on a sickness benefit/pension for a few weeks/months just so she can get herself better. She doesn't want to be thought of as a bludger but I told her that's what these benefits are there for, to give you a hand when you need it (and she's paid taxes for over a year now so I reckon she's entitled). Her father :rolleyes: isn't being very supportive right now mainly because of the bf and having to quit work. He is rarely sick so has no idea how hard it is to have to force yourself to get out of bed and struggle through the day. :mad:

On a brighter note she might come over for a couple of weeks' visit in the winter when she's feeling better (June/July). That will be about a year since I saw her last. Can't wait to give her a BIG hug! :kiss:
 
Also assuming I'd be the only Aussie awake at 2:40am on a Saturday morning ?(5:40 am est) :D
 
good morning :)

i've been up for an hour - doing housework and laundry before heading out for the day.
best time to get it all done! before anyone else wakes up ;)

welcome to the thread elite.... another warm day ahead for perth!
mum lives over there, she's been there a couple of months this time, and she's feeling the temp diff between tassie and wa!
she's begging me to blow hard and send some rain.
 
warrior queen said:
good morning :)

i've been up for an hour - doing housework and laundry before heading out for the day.
best time to get it all done! before anyone else wakes up ;)

welcome to the thread elite.... another warm day ahead for perth!
mum lives over there, she's been there a couple of months this time, and she's feeling the temp diff between tassie and wa!
she's begging me to blow hard and send some rain.
Click to expand...

Morning Warrior :)

I haven't slept, Too much work to be done alas.

Yeah I'm originally a South Aussie but I love it over here. Always sunny and all that jazz.

Oh and if you're under instruction I guess you'd better blow hard then ;) but seriously we could actually use some rain :D

I think I'm off to bed in a minute. My eyes are shutting of their own accord.
 
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