StrixVaria
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2006
- Posts
- 314
I know this may be somewhat misplaced, but it seems to be the best place to air this...
Of those of you out there who understand gender dysphoria, how do you explain it to your significant other? I've tried and have yet to come up with a really clear explanation.
I'm genetically male, but from pre K forward, I have felt strongly that I would have been much better off as a female. While that's all fine and good, at the ripe old age of 42, transition is really not a viable option. I have some trouble explaining the position I'm in, so bear with me.
I actively reinforce my male persona - more for my own benefit than for anyone else - but it is a counterbalance to my desire. My Sig O wants me to be more open with her, she wants to see all of the things inside me that make me work, she wants to understand - but that "letting down of the wall" is something that scares the crap out of me. If I'm completely honest, not only with her, but with myself, what happens to this carefully constructed and maintained facade that allows me to operate in "normal" society?
I really don't want to be a freak of nature. I know that's not PC, but that's how I view it. I also know that my balancing act isn't all that healthy either - self medicating with alcohol, actively pushing the T level, denying the innately softer response... anyone have any wisdom to share?
Of those of you out there who understand gender dysphoria, how do you explain it to your significant other? I've tried and have yet to come up with a really clear explanation.
I'm genetically male, but from pre K forward, I have felt strongly that I would have been much better off as a female. While that's all fine and good, at the ripe old age of 42, transition is really not a viable option. I have some trouble explaining the position I'm in, so bear with me.
I actively reinforce my male persona - more for my own benefit than for anyone else - but it is a counterbalance to my desire. My Sig O wants me to be more open with her, she wants to see all of the things inside me that make me work, she wants to understand - but that "letting down of the wall" is something that scares the crap out of me. If I'm completely honest, not only with her, but with myself, what happens to this carefully constructed and maintained facade that allows me to operate in "normal" society?
I really don't want to be a freak of nature. I know that's not PC, but that's how I view it. I also know that my balancing act isn't all that healthy either - self medicating with alcohol, actively pushing the T level, denying the innately softer response... anyone have any wisdom to share?