Bits and pieces

[shadysmurfette]

where have I been hiding?
you joined lit like... last month ago. You're on the fucking Santa Maria of newly minted ampic'ers to land upon the weather beaten rocky shores of this here thread. I almost feel as if throw a party of some sort in your honor.

seriously. I'm not joking.

another thing I'm not joking about... and which you reminded me... was the fact that I DID in-fucking-deed crash my car backing out of the driveway today... and not because I caught a glimpse of my manly, yet subtly boyish good looks in the mirror. Nope... sheer inattentiveness made me crash my car. Got too close to the neighbors metal fence post while backing out. Took the passenger side mirror right off the fucking car.

No damage to the fence post because that fucking thing is made out of fucking kryptonite or some crazy shit and buried probably down to the nickel fucking core of the earth because that things ALWAYS being hit, struck, scraped, backed into, battered, and all around abused by either myself or our neighbors upstairs from us while backing out of the driveway.

best part was... my wife's reaction when she went to get in. The closer she got to the car the slower she walked. I could fucking feel the gears turning in her head and hear her thoughts as she was trying to wrap her all-that-is-rational mind around the fact that a moment ago there was a mirror there... and now... in such a monumentally short period of human existence... the mirror was no more.

Crap!
First off, glad to know you and your lovely are safe
Secondly, I was in an accident in the highway once. No injuries. Long story short, we ended up scraping the curb because a driver in the middle lane hit the driver next to us ( middle driver was actually looking at a fender bender ). Honestly, as the car got hit and we swung over to the side, I was scared but also exhilarated....go figure

 

[JessiePi]

I like the part where you were like... "OMFG! YOU... YOU'RE... YOU'RE HERE... LIKE... FUCK! Seriously... hold on... I didn't actually okay it with my husband for me to suck your cock because... well... I thought it was all just internet talk and didn't actually think you were serious about coming to NY to visit. But now you're here and he's in the shower yet... I'll go ask right now. What? What's that? Your wife's in the car and on her way up and you... you think it would be hot to see her and I and my husband all in the shower together lathering each other up... watching my small delicate hands slide up her torso, cupping her dense heavy breasts while she grinds her thick ass against the front of my husbands hips... watching his hot hard-cocking fuck-shaft squeeze it's way between the cheeks of her soapy ass... it's tender belly caressing her taught asshole while I fight the deep urge to feel her beautiful lips against my own, the urge to feel our tongues touch... watching me fight my weakening knees as her hands cup my breasts, her fingers curving into my flesh taking hold of my tits and manipulating the tissue of my erect nipples buried deep below the soft fabric of my feminine skin causing my clit to hum and tingle to a degree that causes my desires for her to hurt so meaningfully within me that I'm not aware of you jerking off... of my husband behind her slowly sinking the head of his swollen cock between the folds of her engorged labia..."

but I'm a little biased because I find half the shit I say not at all interesting, and quite honestly, rather pompous.

Shit.... did that really happen? Coulda sworn I was dreaming...

 

[funluvinaj]

more visual offerings...

*drool* good god but you make black n white look amazingly erotic.

you know... every time someone mentions how lucky my wife is I want to get all humble and say some romantic whimsy warm-fuzzy shit like... "no... I'm the lucky one." and pontificate the beauty and merits of my wife.

but you know what? Not only have I already done so in the past (least... I'm pretty certain I have) there's plenty of this thread left to do it later on in the future... So yeah! I served that bitch right fucking nice. And I'm not talking about romantic soft focus type serving... I'm talking about four fingers up her asshole, tongue lapping at her clit, other hand pinching-pulling-twisting her nipple, cock/gash thrusting, sheet-wetting, six-to-eight climactic shots of sperm deep into her bruised womb type of servicing.

le sigh. I want this, but alas, ya either got the primal factor or you don't. Lucky for your wife, you obviously do!

 

[y=mx+b]

I have an irrational loathing of foot fetishists.

The more I think about them the more I hate them... but the more I hate them the more I realize how irrational my hatred of them is, which makes me hate them all the fucking more.

They like feet. Feet get them off. It's their thing, just as much as a woman's ass is my thing, and just as much as a woman's chest is another persons thing, and just as much as the legs of women is yet another individuals thing.

but feet?
seriously?

What I think it is, is their total fixation on them... now I'm well the fuck aware that I'm generalizing, but I have seldom come across any other fetish group that's so restrictive to one particular thing and one thing only.

In the past I've seen requests; both here and other places I visit when I'm not here, for women to post pics of their feet. Nothing else... just their feet. And I'm always like... "GODDAMNIT YOU FOOT FREAK YOU CAN SEE HER FUCKING FEET IN ALL THE OTHER GODDAMN PICS SHE'S POSTED YOU SELFISH ARROGANT FUCK!" And of course... because they're just feet and, well... who cares? The request will be fulfilled leaving me and the majority of men looking a lot like this------> at our computers while this toe-licking toad-man jizzes in the panties he's wearing (because I have observed that a lot of feet people also seem to have a comorbid panty fetish as well.) while trying to sniff and lick the monitor of his computer, wondering where her feet would rank on the tang/aroma scale and if she left him some lint between her toes for his tongue to floss out for her.

honest to fuck...

but I can't hate them. not in good conscious. In fact I'm a bit envious because it's a sexual turn on that can be easily fulfilled. I wished I had it that fucking easy!

But no. What turns me on? Ass. Naked ass, partially naked ass, spread ass, ass under a very short skirt bending over in public a public setting, ass in thongs, ass in thongs at the beach, ass getting licked, jiggly ass, tight ass, ass sitting on another guys face, standing ass, sitting ass, ass in profile, ass getting cummed on, ass getting impaled by white cock black cock whatever the fuck kind of cock...

fuck... I lost my focus. This post is done.

 

[y=mx+b]

I stand corrected. My post isn't done.

seriously... are there even women out there that are all like... "OH GOD YES!!! LICK MY FEET... FUCK THAT MAKES ME SO WET... SUCK MY TOES!!! SUCK HARDER... HARDER... OMG I'M GOING TO CUM!!!!!"

?

 

[JessiePi]

I stand corrected. My post isn't done.

seriously... are there even women out there that are all like... "OH GOD YES!!! LICK MY FEET... FUCK THAT MAKES ME SO WET... SUCK MY TOES!!! SUCK HARDER... HARDER... OMG I'M GOING TO CUM!!!!!"

?

Lol... Amusing rant as usual... In response to your question, (assuming it wasn't rhetorical) I'm sure there are, although I've not met any...
Feet are ticklish... So similarly to being turned on by a feather tickling your nipples or stomach... I'm guessing the turn on for the girl would be the slightly torturous, ticklish feeling.

 

[JessiePi]

Either that, or it may be the whole power trip thing... To me kissing someones feet is 20x more demeaning than being on your knees getting a face full of cum... So if the chick is a Dom, I guess that might make it pleasurable... Just spit-balling though... Who knows?

 

[y=mx+b]

Lord...

after this recent little tirade of mine I walked behind the chair where my wife was reading, she tilted her head back, we kissed, I looked into her eyes all romantically and said: "aren't you glad I'm not a toe sucker?" Her eyes got wide and she enthusiastically replied "GOD YES!" She then shivered in her chair in slight revulsion.

I laughed and she asked what brought the question on, so I told her. She then shared some tid-bit experiences she's had with such guys online and how brazenly insistent they all were in trying to convince her that she'd like it if "it was done right" and she was all like... "um... no foot freak, if you did that, I am certain there would be some kicking involved which would result in a lot of missing teeth. Sorry."

but of course... we are us and not anyone else, and thankfully we managed to find each other.

 

[DeepRedLips]

Lord...

after this recent little tirade of mine I walked behind the chair where my wife was reading, she tilted her head back, we kissed, I looked into her eyes all romantically and said: "aren't you glad I'm not a toe sucker?" Her eyes got wide and she enthusiastically replied "GOD YES!" She then shivered in her chair in slight revulsion.

That's kind of hilarious. I guess promising never to engage in a foot/toe sucking fetish didn't make it into your vows?

I don't get the appeal either. I'm on board with your wife's reaction.

 

[Vixxennn]

Toe suckers/foot fetishists super gross me out. I can't help it. It's nasty. I'm not even one of those people who has a foot phobia but I can understand their stance better than someone who gets off on feet/toes.

Although, don't get me wrong, a good pair of heels is pretty sexy. Especially over your arms or up in the air as you fuck me... But that has much more to do with the shoes than the feet.

 

[y=mx+b]

Toe suckers/foot fetishists super gross me out. I can't help it. It's nasty. I'm not even one of those people who has a foot phobia but I can understand their stance better than someone who gets off on feet/toes.

Although, don't get me wrong, a good pair of heels is pretty sexy. Especially over your arms or up in the air as you fuck me... But that has much more to do with the shoes than the feet.

okay... now SHOES are a totally different thing. And believe me I was thinking about this while in the midst of my rant because one could argue that my admiration of women's shoes is akin to having a foot fetish.

but fuck if it is
because it fucking isn't.

hot shoes are hot fucking shoes plain and fucking simple. It's like seeing a pair of hot panties in the store and thinking... "fuck those are some mother fucking panties I'd love to pull off from my wife's crotch with my goddamn teeth." Only different because it's really more like... "Look at the fucking structure of these fucking heels! God to hear those walking down the sidewalk behind me would be fucking DIVINE! How the fuck would I NOT be able to look behind me?"

Fuck.
now I'm getting all thinky thinky about this shit.

because okay... women's feet do not turn me on. it's a fact. Though... they don't turn me off either. They are more or less... neutral.

But put on a pair of fucking shoes and it's like... "Oooo... hello."

in a sense... shoes are kinda like the lipstick for feet. I mean... On average I'm not the most observant of a woman's lips... on average... as in... in passing.

but when a woman is wearing a lipstick color my stupidly colorblind eyes can see... like say... blatant fuck-my-face crimson red... dear lord...

yet; unlike lipstick, the type of shoes a woman is wearing do not solicit any desire to suck her toes or sandwich my cock between the soles of her feet and stroke myself... or have her stroke me off with them (though I wouldn't be opposed if that's how she wanted to get me off... because... you know... I'm a guy, and if a woman want's to get me off a particular way that pleases her, who the fuck am I to be all like... "um... no."?)

no. the type of women's shoe solicits the idea of... this woman knows exactly the fuck she wants and it sure the fuck would be great if I happened to be on that there list of hers.

 

[ItsKittyBitches]

I'm so glad I've never dated a guy with a foot fetish.

 

[y=mx+b]

I have no rants to share
or really any thoughts at the moment

well... I do, but I'm not in the mood to express them. Instead... I think I may go back through the thread and respond to some posts I may have missed or feel like responding to again.

or... I may get to lurking ampics and put this all on the back burner again until later.

we'll see.

 

[y=mx+b]

you know... I just reminded myself about something I was thinking about earlier today that I thought would make for an interesting thread/topic to discuss.

but for the fuck of it all I cannot remember what the fuck the thought was. and now I'm kinda pissed because this shit happens to me all the fucking time and it get's really really fucking frustrating.

 

[y=mx+b]

I'm so glad I've never dated a guy with a foot fetish.

me too. but you know... you're still pretty young. you very well may end up with such a man. but let us not forget... even they need love, understanding, and respect. It's easy to sit here and be all "fucking weirdo freaks..." about them, but when it comes right the fuck down to it they are still human.

of course... that goes for them toe sucking creepy fuckers too. and ALL fucking fetishists for that matter. It all goes back to the bullshit I was talking about when I was going off on my deep attraction towards the more thicker buxom woman and what Dan Savage said in the article I posted.

We are people first. Human fucking beings, not the object (or interest, or action, or intellect) of what causes someone to be attracted to us.

 

[ShaiGirl]

Hey you hairy beast!

I like you because you're a bit antisocial, and sometimes I am too.
Hang in there, and forget about the toe-sucking.

 

[y=mx+b]

so I log into a photo group I belong to and as I often do, I read some of the comments other people have made on a photo that I have either added as a personal favorite, or commented on myself.

The photo in question was/is of a woman wearing cowboy boots, a thong, a cowboy hat, and nothing else. Her back is turned to the viewer, her luxurious red/strawberry blond curly hair cascading down her back and over her shoulder... she's paused half way in the door way of what I assume is her bedroom, her head is turned and she has this absolutely FABULOUS pouty look on her face looking back over her shoulder towards the camera...

and I'm like "this is a fucking excellent photograph" and a very rare treat because she seldom ever posts such images of herself and it's really a great honor/experience to a part of her willingness to share.

so... I'm reading these comments and they are all cool and there's the other types of comments that are to be expected etc... But then a guy says this and I'm quoting verbatim because what the fuck was I just bitching about not too long ago?

"You know what would top this off? Is if you was barefoot showing some pretty toes."

My initial reaction was to respond to him saying... "you know what fuckface footfreak toad boy? no... no that wouldn't top off the fucking photograph you worthless fucktard because IT'S NOT FUCKING PART OF THE FUCKING PHOTOGRAPH YOU TOE JAM JIZZ BERRY SELFISH FUCK! She fucking crafted her look to look the way she does because it fucking fits, you spineless fuck" Sweet mother of all that is fucking holy in the heavens above the head of my damned to hell soul...





and that's my absolute last fucking rant on the issue because the more I rant the more I become that one guy that flies off the handle anytime anyone mentions anything sexual about feet... which makes me a target for ass hats that find it funny to make people fly off the fucking handle by triggering whatever it is that'll fucking do it.

 

[y=mx+b]

and I seriously need to bring this fucking thread back to being more about all things erotic and much less about shit that pisses me off... because quite frankly pissed off people are not all that attractive. Entertaining? yes. Attractive? no.

 

[Vixxennn]

I don't know, your complaints seem pretty appropriate and well deserved really.

And you're right, foot fetishists seem to be more abrasive than other sort of fetishes. Maybe that's just me though.

 

[y=mx+b]

So I'm walking home from the gym when a love song of sorts starts playing on my iPod. Because it wouldn't be done by the time I got to the store to pick up some milk and bread and an unplanned purchase of Milano cookies, I stopped at the corner leaned up against the sill of the FedEx/Kinkos window near the corner bus stop and watched the cars and people go by to the happy/sad song playing in my ears. It was lovely and helped with some of my thoughts I've been working on.

So anyway I'm sitting there in my jacket, winter hat my wife knitted, dark nylon nike gym pants, and tennis shoes... and my beard is... well... to sum me up, I'm looking pretty goddamn thuggish standing there leaning up against the building.

The songs about to end, I turn my head to the right... the direction I have to go, and walking across the street is this SERIOUSLY, I mean seriously attractive brunette woman... about late 20's early 30's, and she was put-the-fuck together. Black nylons, some kind of mid-thigh casual yet business type skirt, sensible matching jacket, fucking dark dark, brown, almost black hair, thick dark eyebrows, beautifully dark eyes, beautiful face, perfect skin, wonderful lips... I mean fuck... she even had a half smoked lit cigarette between her fingers and I was like... "I never had a smoking fetish before..." Of all the times I WISHED the fuck I didn't look like absolute fucking shit, just standing there with my thumb up my ass waiting to grift someone... THAT was the fucking time.

and she's walking across the street and I'm thinking... "I got a good 100th of a second to continue to look at her before her creeper alert triggers and informs me that I am indeed being kinda creepy and I should have stopped my man-gawking a good 100th of a second ago..." So as I'm ending my distant observation of her feeling way the fuck out classed by this woman when our eyes meet...

and you know what she did?

she raised her fucking eyebrow at me! and not in the "" kind of sense either.

it was like... "hi..."


and I'm like... oh for fuck sake. The one... ONE fucking time I get the interested raised eyebrow from a completely random woman on the streets is when I'm dressed like a fucking roadie for House of Pain.

Jesus Christ.


So... I'm all kindsa pissed off at women as I make my way to get said milk and bread... and cookies. But then I get to thinking... this kinda shit happens to women all the time! I mean... if I had a quarter for all the women that have told me how they hate it when they gets the most attention from men is when they least expecting it, makes little effort to acquire it, is unshowered and dressed in sweats/flannel or what-have-you... I'd have like... $1.25. And that's fucking plenty for me to say this shit happens to women all the fucking time.

so I stopped the bitching in my head.

'cause I... I loves the ladies.

 

[Jackotheshadows]

So I'm walking home from the gym when a love song of sorts starts playing on my iPod. Because it wouldn't be done by the time I got to the store to pick up some milk and bread and an unplanned purchase of Milano cookies, I stopped at the corner leaned up against the sill of the FedEx/Kinkos window near the corner bus stop and watched the cars and people go by to the happy/sad song playing in my ears. It was lovely and helped with some of my thoughts I've been working on.

So anyway I'm sitting there in my jacket, winter hat my wife knitted, dark nylon nike gym pants, and tennis shoes... and my beard is... well... to sum me up, I'm looking pretty goddamn thuggish standing there leaning up against the building.

The songs about to end, I turn my head to the right... the direction I have to go, and walking across the street is this SERIOUSLY, I mean seriously attractive brunette woman... about late 20's early 30's, and she was put-the-fuck together. Black nylons, some kind of mid-thigh casual yet business type skirt, sensible matching jacket, fucking dark dark, brown, almost black hair, thick dark eyebrows, beautifully dark eyes, beautiful face, perfect skin, wonderful lips... I mean fuck... she even had a half smoked lit cigarette between her fingers and I was like... "I never had a smoking fetish before..." Of all the times I WISHED the fuck I didn't look like absolute fucking shit, just standing there with my thumb up my ass waiting to grift someone... THAT was the fucking time.

and she's walking across the street and I'm thinking... "I got a good 100th of a second to continue to look at her before her creeper alert triggers and informs me that I am indeed being kinda creepy and I should have stopped my man-gawking a good 100th of a second ago..." So as I'm ending my distant observation of her feeling way the fuck out classed by this woman when our eyes meet...

and you know what she did?

she raised her fucking eyebrow at me! and not in the "" kind of sense either.

it was like... "hi..."


and I'm like... oh for fuck sake. The one... ONE fucking time I get the interested raised eyebrow from a completely random woman on the streets is when I'm dressed like a fucking roadie for House of Pain.

Jesus Christ.


So... I'm all kindsa pissed off at women as I make my way to get said milk and bread... and cookies. But then I get to thinking... this kinda shit happens to women all the time! I mean... if I had a quarter for all the women that have told me how they hate it when they gets the most attention from men is when they least expecting it, makes little effort to acquire it, is unshowered and dressed in sweats/flannel or what-have-you... I'd have like... $1.25. And that's fucking plenty for me to say this shit happens to women all the fucking time.

so I stopped the bitching in my head.

'cause I... I loves the ladies...

Maybe it's BECAUSE you looked like that.....ya never know, my friend.

 

[Vixxennn]

Maybe it's BECAUSE you looked like that.....ya never know, my friend.

Yeah, what he said. Because, from the way you describe it, it sounds fucking sexy.

And you're right, this does happen all the time to girls. The whole "natural" thing and whatever...

 

[y=mx+b]

Maybe it's BECAUSE you looked like that.....ya never know, my friend.

Yeah, what he said. Because, from the way you describe it, it sounds fucking sexy.

And you're right, this does happen all the time to girls. The whole "natural" thing and whatever...

the whole "natural" thing and the whole "bad boy" thing can fucking kiss my fucking ass. People like me; we, don't have time for this shit. They all need to start being attracted to us when we're bringing our fucking A-game into the ring.

 

[Jackotheshadows]

the whole "natural" thing and the whole "bad boy" thing can fucking kiss my fucking ass. People like me; we, don't have time for this shit. They all need to start being attracted to us when we're bringing our fucking A-game into the ring.

Sadly, they don't usually get the memo for that. Back in the day, I couldn't count the number of times I was looking good (and this according to female friends), rolling in cash, great car, etc., and nothing was happening.

And, think of it this way. If you have women grooving to you, when you think you look like ass, well, that's a good thing. Take advantage of it!

 

[DeepRedLips]

and I'm like... oh for fuck sake. The one... ONE fucking time I get the interested raised eyebrow from a completely random woman on the streets is when I'm dressed like a fucking roadie for House of Pain.

Laughing while chewing = choking. Thank you for that.