Skinny vs. Curvy

[Chiara_searches]

So I'm gathering unscientific data from Lit. I read the following article today: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...s-skinny-figure-Men-turned-skeletal-chic.html

For those of you not wanting to read the whole article, the gist of it is that men don't really want women who are as skinny as, say, Gwyneth Paltrow. It explains that men, in fact, want women with natural curves.

(A) Query to those who seek women as partners: What is your opinion on the matter? Naturally curvy, or stick thin? Or do you really just enjoy the woman's mind enough that surface details aren't as important?

(B) Query to women who are sought out: And what is your take? Do you love your body as it is or do you beat yourself up about things?

I'll take the plunge and answer Query (B). I beat myself up, a bit. I disconnected from myself for a long time and basically stopped caring. I'm getting back into shape, running and doing some long walks (6 milers). At the same time, I actually like most of my curves. I accept that I'm not a "norm" and am concentrating on being healthy, not starving myself to fit into a norm. I also know that I enjoy sex more when I'm working out, so that's a great motivator as well.

 

[jenni7]

So I'm gathering unscientific data from Lit. I read the following article today: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...s-skinny-figure-Men-turned-skeletal-chic.html

For those of you not wanting to read the whole article, the gist of it is that men don't really want women who are as skinny as, say, Gwyneth Paltrow. It explains that men, in fact, want women with natural curves.

(A) Query to those who seek women as partners: What is your opinion on the matter? Naturally curvy, or stick thin? Or do you really just enjoy the woman's mind enough that surface details aren't as important?

(B) Query to women who are sought out: And what is your take? Do you love your body as it is or do you beat yourself up about things?

I'll take the plunge and answer Query (B). I beat myself up, a bit. I disconnected from myself for a long time and basically stopped caring. I'm getting back into shape, running and doing some long walks (6 milers). At the same time, I actually like most of my curves. I accept that I'm not a "norm" and am concentrating on being healthy, not starving myself to fit into a norm. I also know that I enjoy sex more when I'm working out, so that's a great motivator as well.

(B) I think most guys say they want curves, especially when speaking to a curvy woman, but when they are surfing the web, watching porn or jerking 9 times out of 10 they are watching or fantasizing about very athletic or skinny chicks.

As for me, do I love my body? Hell no! I am no where near where I want to be. Im working out more often, eating better, becoming much healthier but still have more curves than i care for. On the other hand my goal is not to become some stick figure either. I enjoy having an ass, boobs and some shape to. I too enjoy sex more when I'm working out more, generally because I feel sexier when im working out more, and have more stamina (which is never really an issue on my part, lol). But yes, like most women, I think, there are a dozen things I would change about my body, however in the meantime Im trying to enjoy what I am.

 

[Chiara_searches]

(B) I think most guys say they want curves, especially when speaking to a curvy woman, but when they are surfing the web, watching porn or jerking 9 times out of 10 they are watching or fantasizing about very athletic or skinny chicks.

As for me, do I love my body? Hell no! I am no where near where I want to be. Im working out more often, eating better, becoming much healthier but still have more curves than i care for. On the other hand my goal is not to become some stick figure either. I enjoy having an ass, boobs and some shape to. I too enjoy sex more when I'm working out more, generally because I feel sexier when im working out more, and have more stamina (which is never really an issue on my part, lol). But yes, like most women, I think, there are a dozen things I would change about my body, however in the meantime Im trying to enjoy what I am.

Thanks for the honest insight. I think you captured my struggle better than I did myself! At least I know I am not the only one thinking along those lines.

 

[cf23430]

you sound too good to be true Jenni.....


cf

(B) I think most guys say they want curves, especially when speaking to a curvy woman, but when they are surfing the web, watching porn or jerking 9 times out of 10 they are watching or fantasizing about very athletic or skinny chicks.

As for me, do I love my body? Hell no! I am no where near where I want to be. Im working out more often, eating better, becoming much healthier but still have more curves than i care for. On the other hand my goal is not to become some stick figure either. I enjoy having an ass, boobs and some shape to. I too enjoy sex more when I'm working out more, generally because I feel sexier when im working out more, and have more stamina (which is never really an issue on my part, lol). But yes, like most women, I think, there are a dozen things I would change about my body, however in the meantime Im trying to enjoy what I am.

 

[DiscusDave]

(B) I think most guys say they want curves, especially when speaking to a curvy woman, but when they are surfing the web, watching porn or jerking 9 times out of 10 they are watching or fantasizing about very athletic or skinny chicks.

Oy! Not trying to defend all guys here, cuz I can't, but you are wrong about me, if you apply this idea to all men.

A) I prefer curves. Hands down no contest. I see your bones (unless it's from some naturally caused condition) due to skinniness, you're not attractive to me. Period. Part of it stems from having many past female friends (whom I never had romantic relationships with) doing unhealthy things to be skinny that I have grown quite a distaste for women who are 1) trying desperately to be skinny for reasons other than medical ones; 2) those women who are overly skinny; 3) who believe the idea that skinny is beautiful; and 4) consistently go for men that do not appreciate their natural body shape, size and type.

It's kind of the same reason I prefer no make-up to a woman wearing some. To me, being super skinny doesn't look natural and in so is thereby less attractive in my eyes.

By no means am I saying skinny girls cannot be attractive. I have found many slim girls to be quite stunning. I'm just saying there is a difference fit and slimmer and being skinny. Skinny in my book is a bad thing. Fit or slim is fine.

I'm just saying if I had a choice between a little bit fuller and more curvaceous or a skinny girl, I'd go more curvy 8-9 times out of 10. (other things might lead me to choose the other way, but that's case to case)

I follow the philosophy of a certain Luther Billis; what I'm looking for is someone "who's broad where a broad should be broad."

 

[Stella_Omega]

back in the day I was pretty skinny, and I never noticed a dearth of het male interest.

As a dyke, I prefer a reasonable amount of curve on a woman. I don't need a perfect waist-to-hip ratio, I don't mind thick waists or legs. I'm good with small boobs or big ones. I get triggered by... um... a quality of voice, I think, more than anything else. There's a kind of skinny that bothers me, when you can sink your fingers into the muscle and feel the bones underneath-- but if she gives me the sense that she's responsive in bed, I don't mind helping her exercise her a little bit...

 

[mcevin]

Oh, well, my street name these daze is "Lil'2." It's because I'm a little too short, my hair is a little too blonde, my tits are a little too small, my legs are a little too long, my ass is a little too tight. I wish I looked like my ex-roomie Jenny, instead. She is all tits and legs and blond hair.

I started in dance and gymnastics when I was six. The doc told me that when girls do heavy physical training they sometimes go through puberty late, or not at all. She was like, "You'll have a lot of trouble getting pregnant, Jamie" and I was like, "Damn!" But it's a drag, I have to carry two picture ID's to get in clubs. My DL pix sux, but my faculty ID looks like me, kinda-sorta. I wish I looked more like a grown-up.

So before I go through a lot of wailing and teeth gnashing about something, I take a look and see whether it will do any good. I mean, it says in the Bible how you can't, by worrying about it, add even one cubit to your stature, or change one hair from white to black. In other words, whatever I think of how I look, I can't change it very much.

I wanted to be in a ballet company. I got a callback to Feld, but they picked another girl with bigger tits and longer legs, so I teach dance now. I don't mind; I dance when I teach because I never ask my students to do something I can't do myself. I guess I have to say I love my body. I've spent so many years training it, I feel that it belongs to me, and when I dance, it expresses me. For me, that's enough.

Love,

Jamie

 

[Stella_Omega]

yeah, but damn, Jamie, the things a larger person can do with a smaller one!

 

[ownedsubgal]

i do believe that most men who are attracted to women, are attracted to those with some curves. however i must nitpick and point out the fact that just because a woman is thin, does not mean she lacks curves, just as a woman being overweight does not necessarily indicate she has any curves. it's all about that elusive perfect waist-hip ratio (some say 0.7), as Stella mentioned...i recall reading an article years ago where the theory was proposed that a woman with such proportions is more likely to be healthy and fertile, traits which men are subconsciously very attracted to. whether there's any truth behind that or not i don't know, but i do know that the majority of men i have known in life are most attracted to hourglass or pear-shaped women, irrespective of their size preference. in other words, whether they are attracted most to size 0s or size 18s, those female curves are very important.

as for how i feel about my own body...that's another story! i'm typically female in that i'm NEVER satisfied with my body, and some days i feel downright quasimodo-ish. receiving compliments from men, no matter how sincere and passionate, does nothing at all to improve my own feelings about my body. i'm pretty sure that no matter what...whether i were the perfect weight and tone, had no scars or other visible issues, i would still find myself average at best. that's just my attitude. meh.

 

[YourCaptor]

A.

I like thin. I could give you endless reasons why, but overall, it's hot.

This is also way oversimplified. All men don't like one type, and not just two types of women exists. Also attractive is not limited by a set of characteristics. What it comes down too is the whole, and often personality can add a lot to that.

To illustrate the point, this one girl I knew had huge lats, she was a competing body builder, yet was very feminine, and even sweet through her tough girl attitude. Everyone saw her as a woman and a sexy one too.

 

[TheCarver]

As far as what I look for, the size is not necessarily the first issue. I prefer curvy but have been known to date a bean-pole. I'd lot rather cuddle with a confident size 18 versus bang a skinny chick any day.

 

[Vixandra]

(A) Query to those who seek women as partners: What is your opinion on the matter? Naturally curvy, or stick thin? Or do you really just enjoy the woman's mind enough that surface details aren't as important?

I like women with curves. There's something about the line of hip to ass to thigh that is just more appealing to me on a woman with "meat on her bones."
Add to that the fact that when I see really skinny women, I feel bad for them sometimes. Not the naturally slender ones, but the ones who've dieted down to a size 0 (or whatever) and hate their food life. I want to feed them tasty foods and teach them its okay again. Not exactly sexy in my book.

I would much rather be with a confident, mid-range weight woman than with a scrawny one where I can play her ribs like a xylophone but can't feed her.



(B) Query to women who are sought out: And what is your take? Do you love your body as it is or do you beat yourself up about things?

I've got hips/thighs and an ass that gets attention but am not so blessed cleavage wise. I had "child-bearing" hips at 11 (yes, really, I was told that) and got used to it. Now- I admit I could stand to loose a good 20 pounds, but am not going to kill myself to do it. Most of the time, I like being curvy. I like having enough cushion to sit on a wooden chair without dying (like some of my no-ass friends do). I like being able to order a steak for dinner and something for dessert as well. I enjoy being the one that doesn't get hip bumped off the curb (the weird games my group of friends plays...). I like having thighs to run my hands down.

Now if I could just get rid of the fibromyalgia (Never happening) I'd be much more content with my body, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish.

 

[KoPilot]

I've been known to refer to my body type as being made of "string beans", "popsicle sticks", or that "I look like a dude". S would spank me silly if I said these in his presence, of course.

My hip to waist ratio is all off; I'm a small according to my hip size, and a medium according to my waist. Couple that with what I perceive to be broad shoulders, and you could go so far as to say I'm shaped like a 2x4. Fortunately, though, I'm thin, like the aforementioned string beans, have an average boob size, (daddy) long legs, and what S would call a killer ass. I don't have flawless skin, but I do have soft skin. And I take aesthetic pride in the scars that I do have.

So I guess to answer for the BF... it doesn't matter? I dunno.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I pride myself on my inclusiveness.

I love curves. Really. I just love the way that it's so...not like me.

Skinny is hot, too.

I think it's the perception of unhealthy, whether too skinny or overweight, that is the tipping point.

A creative, sexy mind is the trump card, though. Who doesn't like to feel like the wheels are turning, and you and your partner are working collaboratively to create something really interesting and arousing together?

 

[Setanta84]

A: I prefer a woman with a, eh, womanly figure, i.e. I'm not into women who look like teenage boys with vaginas. Particularly, I like women with a nice set of hips and an ass to match and not necessarily the hourglass type. If what she has below the waist is nice enough, all other attractive qualities are a bonus but not necessary. That's my ideal, physically.

Overall, though, I think I'm more attracted to personality and intellect than anything else. If the woman is kind, charitable, funny, knows what she's talking about in general, is intellectually secure, and isn't in any way, shape, or form a conservative, that buys a lot of points.

 

[RGRS]

I go for curves everytime, big curves.

Do I appreciate an attractive woman regardless of size? Of course. What do I prefer? I like a fuller woman with big hips, ass and breasts.

I have been with women that were skinny when I met them and then developed more curves as the relationship carried on and I found myself more turned on by them with the fuller figures and generous curves.

Just my taste.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, thankfully, F loves curves and just does not feel attraction for bone thin....but what do you expect from a red blooded Latin man?!

As for me, I need to lose weight, but that is a battle I fight as a result of health issues...but I hope to win in the future. I have been very slim, but have a body which whether heavy or slim retains curves and usually a perfect boobs, waist, hip ratio. I am once again a work in progress.

Catalina

 

[where]

I don't really care. I don't like anorexic and I don't like super-obese. it's basically about the person.

If it were pushed though, and it was just looking at pictures of women without knowing them, then I suppose I like slimmer or more androgynous looking women

 

[subish2009]

B.


I'm hard on myself. It's interesting, reading this thread, because I keep thinking there's such a broad range here! "Skinny" to me implies too thin. Attractively thin women I tend to call slim or slender or just thin. And "curvy" these days can mean anything to slim but with curves to a PC way of saying obese.

So I recognize a continuum with a WIDE range of attractive. I recognize that a woman who might not turn on a person's "SEXY!" radar at first glance, might be devastatingly hot once you see her moving and talking...confidence can go such a very long way.

But when I think about myself, man, it depends on what day you ask me. Today I feel fat. Tomorrow I may feel relatively proud of my body. I AM slim. I know that intellectually because enough people have commented on it in various contexts that had nothing to do with reassuring me. I can see it in certain pictures. I can see on the scale that I'm a reasonable weight. But even when my stomach is flat, I still feel so BIG all the time. Not necessarily fat, but BIG. And BIG to me = fat. I'm 5'10". I think I long ago got it in my head that if I'm supermodel tall, I should be supermodel thin as well. I've spent most of my adult life feeling like men are attracted to my proportions (slenderness), but intimidated/turned-off by my height. And, unfortunately, I VERY MUCH value what others think of my attractiveness. It shouldn't be, I know, but it's a major piece of my identity and self-value.

As most women are, I'm much more forgiving of others than myself.

 

[talismania]

I've been tall, fit and curvy all my adult life and still get attention at 50. Have I often wished I was model-thin? Hell, yeah. Thin girls get all the public drooling and designer clothes. Have I ever lost out on male attention because of an hourglass figure? Sure, a few times, including by a man who told me Princess Diana was too fat for him. Well, no way I was ever going to meet his standard of beauty. At the time, I looked more like Raquel Welch.

As a teen, I felt inadequate and fat. Becoming sexual at 21 (yeah, I started late) was a godsend for me because I soon realized my curves looked sexy in lingerie. Then I got into role-playing and found out curves look fantastic in campy super-villainess outfits and dominatrix leather, too. Cashmere sweaters love my breasts and so do men.

So for Query B): I love my body. It's been great to me. I feel sexy and fun, and my husband hasn't any complaints. I get hit on at the gym by guys of all ages, and I'm slightly overweight according to my Wii. I don't worry about it because all I'm trying to be is healthy.

 

[JamieJ424]

As most women are, I'm much more forgiving of others than myself.

Reading this sort of bums me out, in a way. I'm a huge fan of the female body in all its many forms. I guess it's human nature to compare ourselves to others, but it's such a shame that so many women don't realize how beautiful they are.

The flip side of that is that men are afraid to throw compliments around, because they're so easily misconstrued. Last week in the gym, there was a woman doing standing hamstring curls. It was the afternoon, she wasn't made up, her hair was kind of messy, she was certainly older than 40, slim in baggy workout clothes. She was there to exercise, not to impress. But there were three of us guys behind her, doing ab exercises and checking out her ass.

When she turned around, we all resumed exercising and pretended it never happened. Of course we did...it's rude to stare, and you don't do around telling strange women they're pretty. It would be weird and loaded and uncomfortable. But I bet she would have liked to know we all thought she looked good.

Food for thought. Thanks for starting the thread, Chiara.

J

 

[Keroin]

B.

Hello, my name is exception to the rule. I have no issues with my body. I love my body how it is, I would change nothing!

I would call my weight/shape healthy but that's a product of good eating habits and physical activity. I don't eat well and exercise to be thin, though; I do it because I love being fit and healthy - the slimness is just a nice byproduct.

 

[Chiara_searches]

Reading this sort of bums me out, in a way. I'm a huge fan of the female body in all its many forms. I guess it's human nature to compare ourselves to others, but it's such a shame that so many women don't realize how beautiful they are.

The flip side of that is that men are afraid to throw compliments around, because they're so easily misconstrued. Last week in the gym, there was a woman doing standing hamstring curls. It was the afternoon, she wasn't made up, her hair was kind of messy, she was certainly older than 40, slim in baggy workout clothes. She was there to exercise, not to impress. But there were three of us guys behind her, doing ab exercises and checking out her ass.

When she turned around, we all resumed exercising and pretended it never happened. Of course we did...it's rude to stare, and you don't do around telling strange women they're pretty. It would be weird and loaded and uncomfortable. But I bet she would have liked to know we all thought she looked good.

Food for thought. Thanks for starting the thread, Chiara.

J

You are welcome. And thank you for sharing your thoughts. I think it helps to hear that there are fans of the female body in its many forms.

 

[subish2009]

<snip>

As a teen, I felt inadequate and fat. Becoming sexual at 21 (yeah, I started late) was a godsend for me because I soon realized my curves looked sexy in lingerie. Then I got into role-playing and found out curves look fantastic in campy super-villainess outfits and dominatrix leather, too. Cashmere sweaters love my breasts and so do men.
<snip>

I kinda get this. I frequently think I look better naked (or nearly so) than clothed. Part of this is just clothing fit...my waist is one size smaller than my hips. Even with small boobs, I still tend to like the way I look in lingerie. I think that has more to do with feeling more confident naked...in an intimate situation with a man, I'm usually at my most confident...than I do walking around my daily life. I'm ridiculously scared of hetero WOMEN judging me, moreso than men, now that I think about it.

Reading this sort of bums me out, in a way. I'm a huge fan of the female body in all its many forms. I guess it's human nature to compare ourselves to others, but it's such a shame that so many women don't realize how beautiful they are.

The flip side of that is that men are afraid to throw compliments around, because they're so easily misconstrued. Last week in the gym, there was a woman doing standing hamstring curls. It was the afternoon, she wasn't made up, her hair was kind of messy, she was certainly older than 40, slim in baggy workout clothes. She was there to exercise, not to impress. But there were three of us guys behind her, doing ab exercises and checking out her ass.

When she turned around, we all resumed exercising and pretended it never happened. Of course we did...it's rude to stare, and you don't do around telling strange women they're pretty. It would be weird and loaded and uncomfortable. But I bet she would have liked to know we all thought she looked good.

Food for thought. Thanks for starting the thread, Chiara.

J

It IS depressing, isn't it? I feel all the low self-esteem reeking from my post, but it's the truth. It's effed up.

I bet she would have liked to know it, too, but I completely understand why you didn't say anything. When I've gotten random compliments like that, my appreciation of them has been all in the delivery. When a man lets you know he likes the way you look, then moves on without hanging around drooling, I take it at face value...as a kind and genuine compliment. It only (for me) is ever offensive if I feel like I'm being hit on. But it's a fine line. If I were a man, I'd probably avoid the whole thing, too. Plenty of women would just be pissed. And plenty of women's SOs, too.

 

[wicked woman]

I think it's safe to say that people, both male and female, have different preferences when it comes to body shapes. No need to pit the thin vs the curves...which this topic sometimes turns into.

My experience has been that I enjoy a body because it belongs to the right person...and the body types have been varied.

Have I been told that my body type is not what attracts a particular man? Sure. But I've also been involved with a person who enjoys my body because it's mine even though if pushed to state his preference as far as body type, it wouldn't be mine...and yet he makes me feel gorgeous.

Am I 100% happy with my body? No. But over the years I've learned to make peace with it, just like I've made peace with the fact that I have little creative talent, and as I age, be happy that it functions as well as it does.

I still laugh with the guy that absolutely loved my belly. Thought it was womanly. And smile at the guy who loved how my ass looked in pants. And the one who enjoyed my cleavage. Even the one who liked my feet. But mostly I liked that they loved me...all of me.