Nobody Gets Out of Jury Duty!

[3113]

If you thought you could skip out of Jury Duty, think again!

A pet cat has been summoned for jury duty - and has been told by courts he 'must attend'

Despite owner Anna Esposito's protestations that a mistake has been made, a jury commissioner has ruled that Sal must attend the court.

Prospective Juror: Sal

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/01/17/article-1347894-0CCCC08D000005DC-847_468x286.jpg

 

[Stella_Omega]

They'll kick him right out of the case during the Voire Dire

 

[TE999]

Does the Jury Box have a litter box?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

It's Boston. Whaddelse d'ya need ta know?

 

[3113]

They'll kick him right out of the case during the Voire Dire

Because he's too sympathetic to cat burglars?

 

[Weird Harold]

It's Boston. Whaddelse d'ya need ta know?

Who Sal voted for?

Seriously, how did a cat get into the database the jury pool is picked from. Usually it is either voter registrations or drivers' licenses that provide the pool to choose from.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Who Sal voted for?

Seriously, how did a cat get into the database the jury pool is picked from. Usually it is either voter registrations or drivers' licenses that provide the pool to choose from.

Apparently, it was the state census form, where he was listed as a pet. I would think he would be too young, unless you count one year for him as seven for a human.

 

[scriptordelecto]

That's just the kind of ass backward thing that would happen here in SC.

 

[3113]

Apparently, it was the state census form, where he was listed as a pet. I would think he would be too young, unless you count one year for him as seven for a human.

I don't think the census asked how old the cat was and I don't think jury forms ask it either. If you get a form it's just assumed you're old enough to serve.

One would think that calling up and telling them it was a cat would be enough, but no, kitty must check in. I can't wait to see it with the Juror badge clipped to its fur!

 

[R. Richard]

Prosecution Attorney: "Your Honor, Juror Sal has a question."
Judge: "Yes?"
PA: "Does the Defendant have a dog?"
Defense Attorney: "Yes."
PA: "Juror Sal finds the Defendant guilty,on all charges."
J: "The charges haven't even been read!"
PA, "Yes, your Honor. However, if the dog is a big dog, Juror Sal also sentences the Defendant to death."
J: "Juror Sal is excused."

 

[3113]

Prosecution Attorney: "Your Honor, Juror Sal has a question."
Judge: "Yes?"
PA: "Does the Defendant have a dog?"
Defense Attorney: "Yes."
PA: "Juror Sal finds the Defendant guilty,on all charges."
J: "The charges haven't even been read!"
PA, "Yes, your Honor. However, if the dog is a big dog, Juror Sal also sentences the Defendant to death."
J: "Juror Sal is excused."

Now, now. A kitty would never sentence any one to death for owning a dog. To a cat, ownership of a dog is clearly a case of insanity. Sal would want said defendant sent to a mental institution and given much needed therapy until he/she realized how much saner it was to keep a cat.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Because he's too sympathetic to cat burglars?

And has no respect for authority. A cat won't believe what a policeman tells it, unless the policeman is telling it that dinner is served-- as he puts the dish down.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

And has no respect for authority. A cat won't believe what a policeman tells it, unless the policeman is telling it that dinner is served-- as he puts the dish down.

Being susceptible to bribery ought to get Sal disqualified. Cats will purr for anyone with a bit of liver or salmon.

 

[glynndah]

I had a cat that used to get bills from the electric company. I finally had to go down to the office in a nearby town, tell them it was a cat and since I hadn't seen her in a couple of months, there was a slim chance she'd moved into the trailer court and was avoiding paying her utilities, but it was more likely she had been a coyote's dinner the winter before.


What was really odd was they'd listed her middle name, too. I didn't realize Becky had a middle name.

 

[3113]

What was really odd was they'd listed her middle name, too. I didn't realize Becky had a middle name.

All cats have middle names. They just don't like to mention them.

 

[glynndah]

All cats have middle names. They just don't like to mention them.

Oddly enough, it was the same as mine.

 

[stephen55]

What I want to know is; if I get a summons to appear for jury duty, can I send my mutt, Wilson, instead? He's a better judge of character than some people I know, including yours truly.

 

[Zobor]

You sure this didn't happen in Indiana?

 

[michchick98]

My guess is that the courts think the family is lying when they said Sal is a cat. Maybe the news story will help, or not. They could easily say they took a video of the family pet to make it more believable.

Maybe on the disqualification form, the owners should've put "can't speak" instead of "can't speak English" but then the courts would probably still demand Sal show up to serve.

As for how he was chosen? We all know the census department couldn't have possibly misread the form. Nope, that'd never happen. Not in a million, trillion years.

 

[estragon]

The naming of cats is a difficult matter/it isn't just one of your holiday games/I'm sure you will think me as mad as a hatter/when I tell you that cats/have three different names.

Gee I wish I'd written that.

 

[TE999]

The naming of cats is a difficult matter/it isn't just one of your holiday games/I'm sure you will think me as mad as a hatter/when I tell you that cats/have three different names.

Gee I wish I'd written that.

Who did? It reads like Edward Lear.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Who did? It reads like Edward Lear.

Probably T.S. Eliot in the Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats. At least I'd bet a quarter it is.

 

[3113]

Probably T.S. Eliot in the Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats. At least I'd bet a quarter it is.

Give the bear a cigar and a quarter.

There goes your reputation for not being literary.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Give the bear a cigar and a quarter.

There goes your reputation for not being literary.

Shhh . . . Keep it down, please. You'll blow my cover. Next you'll point out that my Biblical knowledge far exceeds that of the usual layman and there there will be trouble.

 

[jomar]

Because he's too sympathetic to cat burglars?

That damn feline could really scratch our case against the "midnight prowler." Christ the press gives me a fuckin' fever.

Be a catastrophe for us if she got on the jury.

Looks like a real sourpuss. We've got to nip this in the bud. Otherwise...

...puts us cattywampus to our argument...

...and once it's on there won't be room to swing a...

Yep. Look, her jury questionnaire. Been busted ten times and never convicted. More damn lives than a...

You thinking what I'm thinking?

...oh yeah. Challenge for claws.