The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[kimbalee]

And you get back the second edition, Things to do When the First Date Goes Too Well


OH! I put those in a safe to keep people from seeing the proof.

and you get back a wink and a nudge when I recall the event.

I put in some 100 proof moonshine.

 

[hellguy]

and you get back a wink and a nudge when I recall the event.

I put in some 100 proof moonshine.

And you get the secret recipe for a "Shiner 49er"

I put in the aspirin.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get the secret recipe for a "Shiner 49er"

I put in the aspirin.

and you get a glass of warm tap water for that.

I put in a pair of free tickets to a heavy metal concert for tonight.

 

[hellguy]

and you get a glass of warm tap water for that.

I put in a pair of free tickets to a heavy metal concert for tonight.

And you get back a very excited man.

I put in the ear plugs.

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get back a very excited man.

I put in the ear plugs.

and fail to hear anything at all.

I put in a semaphore kit.

 

[hellguy]

and fail to hear anything at all.

I put in a semaphore kit.

And you get some very puzzled looks.

I put in the starring attraction to the midget circus.

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get some very puzzled looks.

I put in the starring attraction to the midget circus.

and issue the audience with magnifying glasses.

I put in a book "Communicating with the deaf" which deals with semaphore as a means of communication.

 

[hellguy]

and issue the audience with magnifying glasses.

I put in a book "Communicating with the deaf" which deals with semaphore as a means of communication.

And you get back some very happy people.

I put in the bass driver for the party.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get back some very happy people.

I put in the bass driver for the party.

and you get back the designated driver.

I put in Diet Mt Dew Mojitos...

 

[hellguy]

and you get back the designated driver.

I put in Diet Mt Dew Mojitos...

And you get a very drunk Lion.

I put in the bucket, blanket, and flat, non-moving surface.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get a very drunk Lion.

I put in the bucket, blanket, and flat, non-moving surface.

and you get a grateful thankyou note for that.

I put in a huge hangover.

 

[hellguy]

and you get a grateful thankyou note for that.

I put in a huge hangover.

And you get back a friend to take care of you.

I put in the ear plugs.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get back a friend to take care of you.

I put in the ear plugs.

and you get back a nasty toothbrush.

I put in a promise to never do that again.

 

[hellguy]

and you get back a nasty toothbrush.

I put in a promise to never do that again.

And you get a very grateful friend.

I put in my list, 20 things i know about you.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get a very grateful friend.

I put in my list, 20 things i know about you.

and you get back the unabridged version.

I put in a forklift so you can pick it up.

 

[hellguy]

and you get back the unabridged version.

I put in a forklift so you can pick it up.

And you get an editor to tell you to keep it to under 1,000,000,000,000 words.

I put in the reading glasses.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get an editor to tell you to keep it to under 1,000,000,000,000 words.

I put in the reading glasses.

and you get an excellent reading lamp.

I put in the rough draft for the second chapter. lol

 

[hellguy]

and you get an excellent reading lamp.

I put in the rough draft for the second chapter. lol

And I faint.

I put in the second grade teacher to read it

 

[kimbalee]

And I faint.

I put in the second grade teacher to read it

and you get a woman who also fainted dead away.

I put in the smelling salts.

 

[hellguy]

and you get a woman who also fainted dead away.

I put in the smelling salts.

which bolts me upright.

I put in the directions for mouth to mouth.

 

[kimbalee]

which bolts me upright.

I put in the directions for mouth to mouth.

and you get prompt service with that.

I put your gum back in your mouth after I am finished reviving you.

 

[hellguy]

and you get prompt service with that.

I put your gum back in your mouth after I am finished reviving you.

and you get a big thank you for that. I have been chewing it for three years.

I put in a fresh pack just for you.

 

[kimbalee]

and you get a big thank you for that. I have been chewing it for three years.

I put in a fresh pack just for you.

blech! on second thought, I throw the damn gum out!

I put in a new rule: no gum alonger than 12 hours!

 

[hellguy]

blech! on second thought, I throw the damn gum out!

I put in a new rule: no gum after 24 hours!

Fair, how about the secret sauce?

I put in the Bush's baked beans recipe that the dog sold to me.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

Fair, how about the secret sauce?

I put in the Bush's baked beans recipe that the dog sold to me.

and, you get a church full of parishoners at the next pot luck dinner.

I put in a pot of gold.