Missing Comments

[Angeline]

I made comments on a bunch of new poems this morning and apparently some of them have disappeared into the digiverse. Grrrrr. I spend time and effort on my comments and if my scorecard shows that I did comment on your poem, but you don't see it please let me know.

I reported the bug to Lit and we'll see if that does anything. Those of you who also commented on new poems today may want to check and make sure your comments are there, and report the bug if they're not. I am going to try to resurrect my missing comments here.

Oh and my new poem today, Unfolded, shows me four comments, from UnderYourSpell, Tristesse2, Chipbutty and twelveoone. If anyone else commented, it ain't there!

I shall be back with the missing comments!

 

[Angeline]

Tristesse2 Resolution

A lovely shorter poem that says a lot with reletively few words, something I've often thout Tess does really well. I love the pace of the poem and the way it moves from anger and frustration to freedom and joy. And I love the way the poem ends on "alone" standing by itself on that line.

I might change "vicious fishwife-words" to something more aggressive like "slashing scream," which is not the best example but something that is more immediate and showing rather than something that sounds more explanatory. And I love the second strophe except for the word "stuff," which to me is a non-word in a poem, like "thing." I've been guilty of that sort of generality in my poems, too, but specificity would be better.

 

[Angeline]

Liar Foreshore

(Commented on this one, too, the day it appeared and where is it? Who knows?!)

Overall, Liar, you ain't so rusty as you think! I love the twisty language that I've come to associate with you and the very light touch in a poem that could be somber or angry given its subject. I like the infrequent rhyme, also like that the poem ends on a quixotic note, not so much hopeful but accepting. I like when poems leave it to the reader, to decide whether or not it's a happy ending.

"Just the right kind of nothing" is a great line, my favorite in a poem that has a lot of good ones. And that whole strophe is, imo, really good.

Lovely to read a new one from you.

 

[Angeline]

And now a short intermission while I go make bagels.

 

[butters]

And now a short intermission while I go make bagels.

*hovers about, hoping for a bagel...*

 

[butters]

i'll go check, but so far i only seem to have 'lost' one comment i made - on bulltlr's sub. how very odd. think we're bottlenecking the system with the sharp rise in posts?

 

[butters]

nope, just that one went astray, and i didn't even link it.

 

[Angeline]

nope, just that one went astray, and i didn't even link it.

The bagels will be done in about an hour. Shall I air mail yours?

I'm going to save my comments in a word document from here on in and if I say on the scoreboard that I've commented on someone's poem but they don't see it, they can let me know and I'll repost them in this thread.

 

[butters]

The bagels will be done in about an hour. Shall I air mail yours?

I'm going to save my comments in a word document from here on in and if I say on the scoreboard that I've commented on someone's poem but they don't see it, they can let me know and I'll repost them in this thread.

i'll try a little astral traveling

good idea

 

[Angeline]

Under Your Spell, Unrelentless as the night

A very erotic poem with a delicate touch. I know it's a form but like I said on your other poem, I may have faint recognition but usually have to look em up. Is this a cinequain, maybe? A triolet? I like the way the repetition and light rhyme weaves through the poem. I also like that it's an erotic D/s poem that says what it does without beating me over the head to get the picture as those kinds of poems here so often do.

And here is the one line that doesn't work for me:

Spoils of war a Master takes her

It sounds like a backward construction and makes me wonder if you did it this way to fit some form requirement. Or maybe it needs a comma or semicolon after war? Something like "Her Master takes the spoils of war," a more active construction, sounds better to me. But overall, a lovely piece of writing.

 

[Angeline]

fridayam, Early Music II

I loved this poem when I first read it on a thread here in the forum and I still do. It's a strong monologue with a distinctive voice that paints a clear picture for me even though I'm unfamiliar with the music or its composer's biography.

My only nitpick is that I'd shift some of the line breaks around so that lines don't end on words like prepositions, conjunctions or articles. That is a personal bugaboo of mine: I think lines that end on nouns or verbs (even adjectives sometimes) are stronger. To me, the impact of a line is lost when it doesn't end on a strong word. But overall it's really good and I've very much enjoyed reading it.

 

[Angeline]

MinorMonster. Skagerrak IV

This is such a clear poem, both in terms of the image and the sense it creates for me of someone who is lost and anxious to be found. The tone seems just right to me and the heart is in that second strophe. I especially like "drag the minutes into haven" because I haven't been in this exact situation but boy can I identify with that feeling. A really good read.

 

[Liar]

And now a short intermission while I go make bagels.

Good to see you have your priorities in order.

 

[Angeline]

Good to see you have your priorities in order.

They're not even baked yet and we're both salivating over them.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Under Your Spell, Unrelentless as the night

A very erotic poem with a delicate touch. I know it's a form but like I said on your other poem, I may have faint recognition but usually have to look em up. Is this a cinequain, maybe? A triolet? I like the way the repetition and light rhyme weaves through the poem. I also like that it's an erotic D/s poem that says what it does without beating me over the head to get the picture as those kinds of poems here so often do.

And here is the one line that doesn't work for me:

Spoils of war a Master takes her

It sounds like a backward construction and makes me wonder if you did it this way to fit some form requirement. Or maybe it needs a comma or semicolon after war? Something like "Her Master takes the spoils of war," a more active construction, sounds better to me. But overall, a lovely piece of writing.

Thank you so much for taking the trouble to resurrect your comment and I'm glad to have it. It's a Triolet which quite frankly I think is the easiest to write but don't tell anyone I said so! On my orignal scribblings there is a comma after 'spoils of war' so goodness knows why I missed it out.
May I say thank you here too to Chippy as I've just discovered you have commented? Yes PoetGuy did trim it up well. Perhaps I could say I am rusty it's a long time since Survivor (kindly disregard what I just said about it being the easiest to write!)

 

[The_Fool]

They're not even baked yet and we're both salivating over them.

baked salivation.

There is a blurt there.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

sigh .......... my rummy is tumbling

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Arghhhh!

I hate this creepy comment vanishing act! It is frustrating. What am I doing wrong?????

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I hate this creepy comment vanishing act! It is frustrating. What am I doing wrong?????

I thoought mine had disappeared again until I clicked on read all comments at the bottom

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

I just made four comments on poems, and then on two I went back and made them again. I don't get it. I saw none of them when I clicked as you said UYS. It is frustrating. I'm going to start writing them in word so I may repost latter if they do not show.

 

[vrosej10]

And your comments on my poem didn't show up on my recent activity initially either. Weirdness. By the by, the ten thing was accidental in this one.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

I noticed you are trying the ten pattern. It is something I don't think I've seen from you until recently. I'm going to try some of it because it sounds good if you can make all fit without simply filling words.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

sod it I just made some great comments on bronzeage and Liar's poems and they've disappeared into the ether

as far as I can remember
Liar I had one niggle 'typing on the palm of your hand ...... how do u do that it sounds painful otherwise loved the poem
Bronzeage loved it until the bit about the neighbours wondering who he'd brought home tonight, made it sound less romantic as if he is always bringing home strange women

 

[Angeline]

I think I have the comments thing figured out. There's a lag between the time you hit submit comment and when you can see it post. I've noticed that if I wait five or ten minutes and then go back and check, it's there. You may have to click on "See all user comments," but it shows up then. It's a pain in the arse to go back and check, but at least I know they aren't just disappearing in the digital ether!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I just made four comments on poems, and then on two I went back and made them again. I don't get it. I saw none of them when I clicked as you said UYS. It is frustrating. I'm going to start writing them in word so I may repost latter if they do not show.

yours are showing up now Espy so you've double posted

I think I have the comments thing figured out. There's a lag between the time you hit submit comment and when you can see it post. I've noticed that if I wait five or ten minutes and then go back and check, it's there. You may have to click on "See all user comments," but it shows up then. It's a pain in the arse to go back and check, but at least I know they aren't just disappearing in the digital ether!

I even closed the list of new poems then opened and tried again but they still weren't there, whereas ones I just did seem to be sticking, oh well prehaps they will turn up like Espys