The Credo of Fury: Why doesn't it always work?

[jadefirefly]

Next one:

The world and all the people in it owe me nothing.

Fury

I like this one. I don't think that anyone owes me anything at all. Someone might argue, "but what if you did something for them?"

So? If I did, I -should- have done it because I could, or because I wanted to, not in anticipation of any sort of reward.

That's ideally, mind you. I'm not perfect.

 

[FurryFury]

I like this one. I don't think that anyone owes me anything at all. Someone might argue, "but what if you did something for them?"

So? If I did, I -should- have done it because I could, or because I wanted to, not in anticipation of any sort of reward.

That's ideally, mind you. I'm not perfect.

Exactly so Jadefirefly!

I agree with you!

I think a lot of people make themselves make themselves miserable because they think they are owed stuff they don't get.

There is a certain freedom to not expecting anything.

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

When in doubt keep your mouth shut.

Fury

 

[leeroy jenkins]

I like this one. I don't think that anyone owes me anything at all. Someone might argue, "but what if you did something for them?"

So? If I did, I -should- have done it because I could, or because I wanted to, not in anticipation of any sort of reward.

That's ideally, mind you. I'm not perfect.

Is that like doing your good deed for the day? You do something for another person just for doing sake and the good feelings it produces for you.

 

[raven2]

When in doubt keep your mouth shut.

Fury

Ain't that that truth.

 

[FurryFury]

Ain't that that truth.

It's worked well for me a lot at work lately. Woo boy the things I wanted to say!

Good thing I didn't.

Fury

 

[raven2]

It's worked well for me a lot at work lately. Woo boy the things I wanted to say!

Good thing I didn't.

Fury

Always better. As you know I didn't recently and it did really screw things up for me.

 

[FurryFury]

Always better. As you know I didn't recently and it did really screw things up for me.

*HUGS*

I'm sorry!

Fury

 

[raven2]

*HUGS*

I'm sorry!

Fury

Thanks.

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks.

Anytime.



It's nearly 3 am here though and I've been bad to stay up this late having been sick and all.

Sweet dreams and good night.

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

I'm completely messed up atm and rightfully so but I'll be fine very soon. There is NO need to be worried about me or whatever but, anyway, I wanted to share this little gem that I've been living by for the past 36+? um, hours or so, not sure how long:

When the level of fucked up ness in your life that you WANT to fix so badly is NOT fixable, fix what you can. Even if you don't care about, say, cleaning that hair brush you just spotted from the corner of your eye, for example and would not normally bother with, just fix some small thing you CAN. It might help a teeny tiny bit and at least you'd been doing something at least mildly constructive if not more beneficial. I believe this helps me and could do so for others.

*furiously fixing . . . NOW*

Does anyone understand / agree with this or want to discuss it?

FF

 

[YourCaptor]

I'm completely messed up atm and rightfully so but I'll be fine very soon. There is NO need to be worried about me or whatever but, anyway, I wanted to share this little gem that I've been living by for the past 36+? um, hours or so, not sure how long:

When the level of fucked up ness in your life that you WANT to fix so badly is NOT fixable, fix what you can. Even if you don't care about, say, cleaning that hair brush you just spotted from the corner of your eye, for example and would not normally bother with, just fix some small thing you CAN. It might help a teeny tiny bit and at least you'd been doing something at least mildly constructive if not more beneficial. I believe this helps me and could do so for others.

*furiously fixing . . . NOW*

Does anyone understand / agree with this or want to discuss it?

FF

Probably good advice. But me, I never give up, it's problematic at times.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I'm completely messed up atm and rightfully so but I'll be fine very soon. There is NO need to be worried about me or whatever but, anyway, I wanted to share this little gem that I've been living by for the past 36+? um, hours or so, not sure how long:

When the level of fucked up ness in your life that you WANT to fix so badly is NOT fixable, fix what you can. Even if you don't care about, say, cleaning that hair brush you just spotted from the corner of your eye, for example and would not normally bother with, just fix some small thing you CAN. It might help a teeny tiny bit and at least you'd been doing something at least mildly constructive if not more beneficial. I believe this helps me and could do so for others.

*furiously fixing . . . NOW*

Does anyone understand / agree with this or want to discuss it?

FF

This is how my house gets the best cleaning. During the times when I just have to wait, when circumstances are out of my control I clean. I can control the dust bunnies under my bed, the baseboards needing a good scrubbing, the windows being washed. It also makes the time go by faster when waiting.

 

[eastern sun]

I'm completely messed up atm and rightfully so but I'll be fine very soon. There is NO need to be worried about me or whatever but, anyway, I wanted to share this little gem that I've been living by for the past 36+? um, hours or so, not sure how long:

When the level of fucked up ness in your life that you WANT to fix so badly is NOT fixable, fix what you can. Even if you don't care about, say, cleaning that hair brush you just spotted from the corner of your eye, for example and would not normally bother with, just fix some small thing you CAN. It might help a teeny tiny bit and at least you'd been doing something at least mildly constructive if not more beneficial. I believe this helps me and could do so for others.

*furiously fixing . . . NOW*

Does anyone understand / agree with this or want to discuss it?

FF

Yes. This is how I handle those moments, too.

 

[FurryFury]

Probably good advice. But me, I never give up, it's problematic at times.

Did you get the impression I was saying giving up was an option? LOL I wasn't. It isn't but there are times you have to stand down and HOPE for something to allow you to have the tools to make that fucked up thing fixed.

Sometimes, you will never get it but giving up? NOPE. Not exactly the same thing in my mind at least?

This is how my house gets the best cleaning. During the times when I just have to wait, when circumstances are out of my control I clean. I can control the dust bunnies under my bed, the baseboards needing a good scrubbing, the windows being washed. It also makes the time go by faster when waiting.

Me too! I'm not efficient or perfect at it but I start noticing things more that need cleaning, straightening and such.

My grandmother was like this too. She was like this far more often. That woman CLEANED efficiently, and really fucking thoroughly. It was a bit scary how intense she was about things being clean, not cluttered and all when she was upset. She was upset a LOT.

Also, I think being clean as could be and not cluttered was essential in her mind to being "okay, living a good life, admired, worthwhile" and I'm NOT sure why she had that so strong in her like that?

But yeah, you and I are on the same wavelength on this it seems. Though, the rest of the time? Like the 85% or higher, I'm not that upset to get to this mind set. I'm fine with my organized piles (okay I NEED some of those, LOL) , some cobwebs, and most of the dust bunnies just get to hang out here as long as they don't jump out in my view or on the cat's whiskers or something.

I always feel vaguely guilty that things are perfectly clean and straight and beautifully done but I'll nearly always opt for other things being my highest priorities. Wish I had a cleaner / cook / mom / yard person / that I could afford and stand to have around and didn't feel was judging me but I've accepted that I'm just not going to be that kind of person or have those things

Happily, I have other things that speak to my soul and shit so it's all good that other 85% of the time.

Yes. This is how I handle those moments, too.

*hug*

Nice to find someone who does this too and "gets" it so well! Sometimes I'm like, am I NUTS? Well, maybe I am but this helps me. Thanks!

 

[teknight]

5.) When in doubt keep your mouth shut.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=16373409#post16373409


Fury

I like the opposite approach: I might learn something if I speak up, or clear up the confusion.

 

[FurryFury]

I like the opposite approach: I might learn something if I speak up, or clear up the confusion.

Oh well, given that sort of thing, I'd have to agree with you. That's brilliant really. Good on you!

Actually, put that way, I live by the idea too. Yes, I live by the idea that if I don't know something, I will say so. The way I see it, I can't know everything. So by acknowledging that, I might learn something, which is always very cool.

Clearing up confusion is an wonderful thing to work at. I practice that a great deal of the time as well. Since IMO communication is one of the most important things on earth, clearing up confusion is very, very important.

However, what I meant by "when in doubt shut up" was, that one shouldn't just go through life talking or acting out more than they listen. Since I think many of us do and yes, I might have been or still be, at times like this myself, I think we might benefit from listening more.

You see?

So, if you are not sure weather or not you are talking too much and listening not at all or too little, it's probably best to shut up and listen. You just might learn something and clear up some confusion.

OMG! The same things you said you were doing with the opposite mind set. Except as I hope I've made plain, we aren't really in disagreement at all. Or at least I'm not. Do you agree?

One of my challenges with all of that is that I'm an entertainer. I was thrust in that role nearly from birth. Over the years it's become even more my role but now, at least it's chosen by ME.

Being an entertainer, I have had to work very hard on not feeling like I have to entertain everyone or that silence was bad because my companions might not be entertained and such as that.

Happily I became aware of this and worked on it. I now feel much less like I "HAVE* to entertain everyone in my life, regardless of how I know them.

No, that I try to reserve for the paying clients and the people they want to hire me to entertain.

(Not that I'm not entertaining to be friends with mind you. LOL)

Um, now, where was I again?

Oh yeah and I had to force myself to let there be silences. I've worked on having the ability to find acceptance and peace with those silences.

This allowed the people in my life to talk more. Well, I think so anyway. Which, if I had previously been talking too much like I suspected I might be, meant progress! They now got at least 50% of the talking presented to them.

Of course many of them don't really want that 50% and that's okay, they can just let it lay there on the table if they wish.

I've also developed the ability to ask people questions that might get them talking if they are just shy and really want to talk.

If they ask me a question too, like, I dunno, "What is your fav ice cream (bewitched) flavor, I have trained myself to remember to ask them theirs as well. I'm a big believer in equal relationships and reciprocity. I don't want to run the show 100% in my private or personal life.

FF

 

[teknight]

Yeah, we're talking about completely different things.
Whether I'm talking too much or not depends on my audience (which includes me), but that's not something that concerns me. If I am annoying, either I want to be annoying or am not aware of it and will (hopefully) be made aware. I don't know what's in your head, nor anyone else's...and worrying about it is a silly waste of time. Like I said, I'd rather air stuff out than "listen" out of some inherent sense of guilt. Besides, being quiet doesn't mean you're listening at all...it merely means you're not saying anything. By engaging your audience you can prove if you're paying attention.

 

[FurryFury]

Yeah, we're talking about completely different things.
Whether I'm talking too much or not depends on my audience (which includes me), but that's not something that concerns me. If I am annoying, either I want to be annoying or am not aware of it and will (hopefully) be made aware. I don't know what's in your head, nor anyone else's...and worrying about it is a silly waste of time. Like I said, I'd rather air stuff out than "listen" out of some inherent sense of guilt. Besides, being quiet doesn't mean you're listening at all...it merely means you're not saying anything. By engaging your audience you can prove if you're paying attention.

I will have to come back later to this.

It seems we are not understand each other entirely but I'm too tired to write out what I want to say.

BBL

FF

 

[FurryFury]

Yeah, we're talking about completely different things.

Yes we are. *nods* Sorta.

Whether[/B] I'm talking too much or not depends on my audience (which includes me), but that's not something that concerns me.

We are VERY different in this then.

If I am annoying, either I want to be annoying or am not aware of it and will (hopefully) be made aware.

I can't imagine being not caring what others think is annoying and not watching out for that. But then again, I had to develop this shit or die, quite literally, growing up. I can't stand being annoying or annoyed. Guess maybe we shouldn't hang out together. We might kill each other. LOL

I don't know what's in your head, nor anyone else's...and worrying about it is a silly waste of time.

So don't agree with this. I mean it's fine if that what you believe and what works for you but I do care. I don't think it's silly at all. I'm fascinated by communicating with people. I love the moment when we both really understand something about each other. Them finding out what is inside my brain and vice versa is magical.

I could do that all day, man. It's like super cool and rather important stuff IMO. I mean, everyone wants to really be seen and known inside and out. You may not agree and that's fine but I believe that. I believe this can in fact, be important for all of human kind but that's just me.

Like I said, I'd rather air stuff out than "listen" out of some inherent sense of guilt.

Well it's not guilt exactly, it's more being considerate and fair to the other person. And I also would really rather the other person talk as long as it's not completely one sided because I know me pretty well. I want to know them. I want to hear what they will share with me.

Besides, being quiet doesn't mean you're listening at all...it merely means you're not saying anything.

Well that's true generally. Some people might even be thinking of what they want to say next or football or sex but not me. I'm listening because people fascinate me.

By engaging your audience you can prove if you're paying attention.

Sometimes. True. Not the only way to pay attention though not even always the best way. It's cool if we disagree though that's part of what make people interesting!

 

[teknight]

I can't imagine being not caring what others think is annoying and not watching out for that. But then again, I had to develop this shit or die, quite literally, growing up. I can't stand being annoying or annoyed. Guess maybe we shouldn't hang out together. We might kill each other. LOL

ha ha ha

I could do that all day, man. It's like super cool and rather important stuff IMO. I mean, everyone wants to really be seen and known inside and out. You may not agree and that's fine but I believe that. I believe this can in fact, be important for all of human kind but that's just me.

Sorry, but that kinda statement tells me about you, not necessarily the totality of humanity.

Well it's not guilt exactly, it's more being considerate and fair to the other person. And I also would really rather the other person talk as long as it's not completely one sided because I know me pretty well. I want to know them. I want to hear what they will share with me.

More considerate? than what?

ETA:
If I don't know you, I don't know what's in your head. Not one of my skills or whatev'. Anything I have to say (including the way I say it) might prove annoying, upsetting, etc. To worry about that to the point of not saying anything...no thanks. I'll apologize if I didn't mean to offend, but I won't shut up just 'cause it might offend someone, somewhere, somehow.

 

[FurryFury]

Sorry, but that kinda statement tells me about you, not necessarily the totality of humanity..

As well it should because I can question and all but I can't speak for the totality of humanity. I can only speak for me. I still believe personally that really great communication and understand can be very important for all of humankind but I'm not saying that I'm presuming to say I know all of human kind and state what I believe as a fact rather than a personal option.

More considerate? than what?.

Well fuck my balls. I forgot. Let me go look up the reference on this one. BRB

'Kay, I found it. What I was saying is that it wasn't guilt that made me want to let the other person speak and me listen. No, it wasn't guilt really it was simply consideration.

ETA:
If I don't know you, I don't know what's in your head. Not one of my skills or whatev'. Anything I have to say (including the way I say it) might prove annoying, upsetting, etc. To worry about that to the point of not saying anything...no thanks. I'll apologize if I didn't mean to offend, but I won't shut up just 'cause it might offend someone, somewhere, somehow.

I think I'm understanding what you are saying now. It's interesting how differently we see things and how differently we want to show ourselves to people.

Over the years I learned how to blend in with the crowd. So when and how I choose to present myself to people and to what extent is kind of important to me. I want to make it a good thing for them and for me. I want to be considerate of the other person. Most people if they know me at all, only get to know a tiny bit of me.

If, like, in some sci fi books we could all understand one another though, I would like to believe we could all at least tolerate one another better if not all love one another.

Okay. Going to stop rambling now.

Have a good eve,

FF



FF