Respectful Reference to Ethnicity

[darkbeast]

I've been asked to write a story about an African-American woman and her submissive bisexual adventures. Really, the story itself is a generic bit of wish fulfillment and fantasy and race is not important. But ignoring it seems to be leaving out a truly delicious detail but I don't want to go down a path of bring cliched descriptions (though it hasn't stopped me in the past) of cinnamon/chocolate skin, jet nipples, etc.

Essentially, since the person asking me to write the story is black, I don't want to ignore this detail but I really don't want to treat it poorly and disrespectfully since I'd rather my reader gets excited by my writing, not disgusted.

I am familiar with black erotica so I'm not completely out of my depth, just looking for any other insight other writers (and ethnic readers) may have so I can make this the hottest story I can.

 

[3113]

Nothing easier. In fact, I'm a little mystified as to why you think it problematic to describe your heroine. Don't you describe your white heroines? Their hair, eyes, skin color, nipple color? Why should this be different? What is your objection/problem to doing this outside of wanting to avoid clichés? That's good, but okay, so her skin is hazelnut instead of chocolate. Better? A character is a character. If they're black, they're black. If they're white, they're white, and you describe as much or as little of their looks as needed to get that across. If you want to avoid front-loading the message, then just put it in when the love-making starts. "He kissed her smooth brown breast and licked over the darker brown of her nipple." Ta-da. We know she's black.

You write this character as you would any other character. Know where they're from, their history, what kind of ice cream they like and how they take their hamburgers, how they walk and talk. Write them like a human being instead of a stereotype, and you should be fine.

Putting it another way, there's only one trick to writing such a character. Don't make a big deal out of it, and don't think of it as a big deal. It's not a big deal unless you make it one.

Edited to add: An African-American reader of mine requested an interracial romance with a black woman and a white man, but the most important thing she wanted, however, was that the story focus on a love of food. So the interracial element was ultimately incidental. I think that's the way is should be unless the story wants or needs to make something of it. The story isn't about the girl's ethnicity, is it? Write what it's about. Nothing you put in regarding the ethnicity is going to make it "hotter" than any other story. Only what it's about will make it "hotter" than any other story. My story wasn't put into the interracial category. It wasn't about that. It was rated "hot" because people found the erotic food element hot, not because of the heroine's ethnicity--or the hero's for that matter.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Putting it another way, there's only one trick to writing such a character. Don't make a big deal out of it, and don't think of it as a big deal. It's not a big deal unless you make it one.

What she said.

 

[jomar]

From what you write it is a black woman asking you to write it for her? I would ask her if "race play," if you will, is part of her submissive fantasies. If so, you can have a white or black dom emphasize race/color.

If not, you can do the usual and drop comments about her appearance and the contrast of the white rope against her dark skin and such like that.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My daughter is married to a black guy and calls him a GODDAMNED NIGGER at times, why dont you try for honesty and let the chips fall where they may. There is nothing that enchants a reader more than truth that confirms their reality.

 

[darkbeast]

Thanks for all the advice.

I'm more apt to err on the side of 'generic' instead of having characters utter racial epitaphs to each other, no matter what the context. I'll leave that for more skilled wordsmiths than I.

I kncw 'race play' isn't a part of the erotic part of the story since I wouldn't even know the person's ethnicity if she hadn't sent pictures representing the people she wanted in the story. That is where I got caught in the description dilemma, trying to come up with different ways to talk about the variations of skin color without sounding like it was some dessert cart... mocha latte chocolate cinnamon.... But then when I'm writing about white characters I don't really talk about variation there so no reason to go overboard and pander.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My point is, blacks within their intimate relations say these things. If your friend wants a sanitized PC approved story, more power to her.

 

[darkbeast]

My point is, blacks within their intimate relations say these things. If your friend wants a sanitized PC approved story, more power to her.

I've no doubt this is true. As a 'white boy' I'm not willing to cross that line. To me it is jarring enough that any erotic energy built up to that point is suddenly gone.

 

[3113]

That is where I got caught in the description dilemma, trying to come up with different ways to talk about the variations of skin color without sounding like it was some dessert cart... mocha latte chocolate cinnamon....

Dude, that's what a thesaurus is for. Or just read Walter Mosley's Devil in a Blue Dress. Man has wonderful descriptions of all different shades of brown skin

Oh, and I did think of one thing that can make it hotter, though it's probably a no brainer if you've read ethnic erotica: make ethnic elements beautiful, desirable and sexy. It'd be the same if your heroine was a red-head and you emphasized the sexiness of her red hair, or if she was a big girl and you emphasized how sexy the guy found it to make love to a curvy, heavy woman. If your black girl has her hair woven in many tiny braids, emphasize how cool the Dom/Domiatrix finds it to sink their hand into those braids and pull on them. Etc. Obvious, yes?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Crossing lines is something that adds immense power to writing. I suggest you do as you please, and feel comfortable with, but at some other time reconsider the idea of pushing the reader.

 

[3113]

I've no doubt this is true. As a 'white boy' I'm not willing to cross that line. To me it is jarring enough that any erotic energy built up to that point is suddenly gone.

P.S. Just FYI, JBJ's a troll that most of us have on ignore. His one and only aim seeming to be to voice an opinion obnoxious enough to get a response from anyone who doesn't have him on ignore. And he really doesn't care if what he's saying is true or makes sense.

It's highly likely that you know far more about the topic that he's pontificating on than he does.

 

[darkbeast]

Oh, and I did think of one thing that can make it hotter, though it's probably a no brainer if you've read ethnic erotica: make ethnic elements beautiful, desirable and sexy. ... Obvious, yes?

Obvious... yes, but valuable advice anyway. It is stuff like this that slip the mind when toying with elements that I normally don't play with. Thank you.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'd listen to her if I were you. I'll lead you to hell if you let me.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

My daughter is married to a black guy and calls him a GODDAMNED NIGGER at times, why dont you try for honesty and let the chips fall where they may. There is nothing that enchants a reader more than truth that confirms their reality.

I think I'll quote this sad, pathetic pizza slice of your life every time I smell your face here.

 

[Liar]

I've been asked to write a story about an African-American woman and her submissive bisexual adventures. Really, the story itself is a generic bit of wish fulfillment and fantasy and race is not important. But ignoring it seems to be leaving out a truly delicious detail but I don't want to go down a path of bring cliched descriptions (though it hasn't stopped me in the past) of cinnamon/chocolate skin, jet nipples, etc.

Essentially, since the person asking me to write the story is black, I don't want to ignore this detail but I really don't want to treat it poorly and disrespectfully since I'd rather my reader gets excited by my writing, not disgusted.

I am familiar with black erotica so I'm not completely out of my depth, just looking for any other insight other writers (and ethnic readers) may have so I can make this the hottest story I can.

This reminds me of a stageplay I wrote and directed a couple of years ago with a small theatre group. A relationship drama-slash-comedy about a young couple and their respective families.

It wasn't until a local magazine review mentioned how the actors "effectively debunked interracial archetypes" that we even reflected that we had cast a black girl and a white guy (and as a result, families of logical appearance). Race had nothing to do with the story, they just happened to be the best actors for the parts.

What I'm saying is, some people will read race issues into it anyway, however little you emphasise it. The trick is to not care what some people might think, you can't control it anyway. Just tell the story, and put emphasis where you want it.

 

[Liar]

Meh, this was an old bump I see.

 

[colddiesel]

P.S. Just FYI, JBJ's a troll that most of us have on ignore. His one and only aim seeming to be to voice an opinion obnoxious enough to get a response from anyone who doesn't have him on ignore. And he really doesn't care if what he's saying is true or makes sense.

It's highly likely that you know far more about the topic that he's pontificating on than he does.

No, when JBJ is talking about writing he is not a troll. His political opinions are for the most part a load of bollocks but he is entitled to them. However, when talking about the quality of writing JBJ talks more sense than most. He is at least well read.

You don't have a skerrick of evidence for saying "most of us have him on ignore." Considering the response he gets only a few appear to be ignoring him.

The mistake you make 3113 is to take JBJ seriously. I'm pretty sure he doesn't make that mistake himself. When he is writing about writing or American(Civil War) History he is pretty cluey.

 

[driphoney]

Meh, this was an old bump I see.

Thanks for pointing that out. Wow.

Slow news day around Lit, I guess.

 

[TxRad]

No, when JBJ is talking about writing he is not a troll. His political opinions are for the most part a load of bollocks but he is entitled to them. However, when talking about the quality of writing JBJ talks more sense than most. He is at least well read.

You don't have a skerrick of evidence for saying "most of us have him on ignore." Considering the response he gets only a few appear to be ignoring him.

The mistake you make 3113 is to take JBJ seriously. I'm pretty sure he doesn't make that mistake himself. When he is writing about writing or American(Civil War) History he is pretty cluey.

Yes, but the little good information he puts out is far overshadowed by the rest of his crap.

And he is on the top of more ignore lists than you can shake a stick at for that very reason.

 

[colddiesel]

Yes, but the little good information he puts out is far overshadowed by the rest of his crap.
.

Almost certainly, but I am ever the optimist in thinking that most of the readers here have sufficiently intelligence to pick out the occasional jewel from the crap without being told to ignore someone.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Speaking of WELL READ let me recommend a writer named Paul Fussell.

Paul is/was a literary critic and english perfesser for many years. In the 40s he was a tenderfoot infantry lieutenant in Europe. Most of his books are about war and warriors. His tales are marvelous for how they capture all the heart-breaking, embarrassing horrors of war. Much of what he wrote is surreal yet factual, and what he wrote are excellent tutorials for getting description and setting right.

He also wrote about 'class' in America.