Ohhhhh, I got a good one

SeaCat

Hey, my Halo is smoking
Joined
Sep 23, 2003
Posts
15,378
This was just in my E-Mail.

To: undisclosed-recipientsAnti-Terrorist And Monetory Crimes Division
FBI Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
Washington, DC USA


Attn: Beneficiary,

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an Investigation with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you legally won the sum of $800,000.00 USD from a Lottery Company outside the United States of America. During our investigation we discovered that your e-mail address won the money from an Online Balloting System and we have authorized this winning to be paid to you via a Certified Cashier's Check.

Normally, it will take up to 10 business days for an International Check to be cashed by your local bank. We have successfully notified this company on your behalf that funds are to be drawn from a registered bank within the United States Of America so as to enable you cash the check instantly without any delay, henceforth the stated amount of $800,000.00 USD has been deposited with Bank Of America.

We have completed this investigation and you are hereby approved to receive the winning prize as we have verified the entire transaction to be Safe and 100% risk free, due to the fact that the funds have been deposited at Bank Of America you will be required to settle the following bills directly to the Lottery Agent in-charge of this transaction whom is located in Lagos, Nigeria. According to our discoveries, you were required to pay for the following -

(1) Deposit Fee's ( Fee's paid by the company for the deposit into an American Bank which is - Bank Of America )
(2) Cashier's Check Conversion Fee ( Fee for converting the Wire Transfer payment into a Certified Cashier's Check )
(3) Shipping Fee's ( This is the charge for shipping the Cashier's Check to your home address )

The total amount for everything is $300.00 (Three Hundred-US Dollars). We have tried our possible best to indicate that this $300.00 should be deducted from your winning prize but we found out that the funds have already been deposited at Bank Of America and cannot be accessed by anyone apart from you the winner, therefore you will be required to pay the required fee's to the Agent in-charge of this transaction via Western Union Money Transfer Or Money Gram.

In order to proceed with this transaction, you will be required to contact the agent in-charge ( MR.CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS ) via e-mail. Kindly look below to find appropriate contact information:

CONTACT AGENT NAME: MR. CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS

E-MAIL ADDRESS: christopherwilliams12@gala.net

You will be required to e-mail him with the following information:


FULL NAME:
ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
ZIP CODE:
DIRECT PHONE NUMBER:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
MONTHLY INCOME:


You will also be required to request Western Union or Money Gram details on how to send the required $300.00 in order to immediately ship your prize of $800,000.00 USD via Certified Cashier's Check drawn from Bank Of America, also include the following transaction code in order for him to immediately identify this transaction.


This letter will serve as proof that the Federal Bureau Of Investigation is authorizing you to pay the required $300.00 ONLY to Mr. CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS via information in which he shall send to you, if you do not receive your winning prize of $800,000.00 we shall be held responsible for the loss and this shall invite a penalty of $3,000 which will be made PAYABLE ONLY to you (The Winner).


NOTE: In order to ensure your check gets delivered to you ASAP, you are advised to immediately contact Mr. CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS via contact information provided above and make the required payment of $300.00 to information in which he shall provide to you.

Cat
 
I knew a guy so desperate for money he shelled out about $500 on a wish it was legit.
 
Since the e-mail does have a return address, I would forward it to the FBI.
 
Cat! you were being investigated by the FBI? :eek: I'm glad they totally missed the fact that you're an international spy and terrorist and only found out that you won this money. :) Good on you for staying under the radar!
 
Cat! you were being investigated by the FBI? :eek: I'm glad they totally missed the fact that you're an international spy and terrorist and only found out that you won this money. :) Good on you for staying under the radar!

Shh! Don't you realise that by using the forbidden words s*y and ter***ist your post has directed the official agencies towards Literotica?

The Authors' Hangout will soon be crawling with newbies pretending to be Authors and not government agency workers. You shall know them by their use of English.

Watch out for key phrases such as "extraordinary rendition", "termination with extreme prejudice" but more likely clues are bureaucrat speak.

Oops! The political threads are already polluted with bureaucratese!!!

We've been penetrated. Defenestration will soon follow!

Og (who has an unpenetrable alias and can always claim to be nothing but an alt of Fag-Ash Lil)
 
Shh! Don't you realise that by using the forbidden words s*y and ter***ist your post has directed the official agencies towards Literotica?

The Authors' Hangout will soon be crawling with newbies pretending to be Authors and not government agency workers. You shall know them by their use of English.

Watch out for key phrases such as "extraordinary rendition", "termination with extreme prejudice" but more likely clues are bureaucrat speak.

Oops! The political threads are already polluted with bureaucratese!!!

We've been penetrated. Defenestration will soon follow!

Og (who has an unpenetrable alias and can always claim to be nothing but an alt of Fag-Ash Lil)

:D:kiss::D
 
Yeah, I get those too.

The other day I received a phone call from someone claiming to be working for the U.S. government, of course they couldn't speak English worth a damn. She told me I had just been awarded a $7,000 grant. Imagine my surprise, I hadn't applied for one, ever.

She went on asking me question as to who if I was the person who lived where I lived, etc., etc. She then asked for my date of birth, I laughed and told her 1/29/45. Then she went on to tell me in order to get my grant I would have to make a phone call to a number she would provide and enter the following code.

I laughed again and told her to send me a check, that I wasn't make the call.

She hung up so fast...:eek:
 
Shh! Don't you realise that by using the forbidden words s*y and ter***ist your post has directed the official agencies towards Literotica?

The Authors' Hangout will soon be crawling with newbies pretending to be Authors and not government agency workers. You shall know them by their use of English.

Watch out for key phrases such as "extraordinary rendition", "termination with extreme prejudice" but more likely clues are bureaucrat speak.

Oops! The political threads are already polluted with bureaucratese!!!

We've been penetrated. Defenestration will soon follow!

Og (who has an unpenetrable alias and can always claim to be nothing but an alt of Fag-Ash Lil)


Memorandum:

To: All Members and Administrators of Literotica.

From: Fox Mulder, Agent in Charge, Smut Management and Control Division, Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Subject: Mandatory Assembly at Empire State Building.

As per Executive Order #69 you are required to assemble on floor 90 of Empire State Building, New York, NY on November 23, open all windows and await further instructions from agents on site.

This exercise is deemed necessary to insure that further denigrations of the Federal Bureau of Investigation's image are not perpetuated on the Literotica website.

You are strongly advised to comply with this order or further steps will be taken to assure compliance. We know where you live.

Signed

Fox Mulder, AIC, SMCD

Co-Signed

Dana Scully, AIC, SMCD

cc: Google Earth
 
But, but...

Floor 90 isn't large enough. The current membership of Literotica would swamp the entire Empire State Building, causing it to collapse.

Ignore the message purporting to be from Agents Mulder and Scully. It is a forgery initiated by 'Al-Wotsit in the Mississippi Delta' aka 'Mudstompers are We'.

Agent 099
 
But, but...

Floor 90 isn't large enough. The current membership of Literotica would swamp the entire Empire State Building, causing it to collapse.

Ignore the message purporting to be from Agents Mulder and Scully. It is a forgery initiated by 'Al-Wotsit in the Mississippi Delta' aka 'Mudstompers are We'.

Agent 099

You've blown your cover (and who knows who else), Lil. We're afraid you're about to be terminated with extreme bombast.
 
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