The Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

[chy_girl]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

*holds out a bad of Halloween candy*

Chocolate seems to help. Not a lot, but a little.

 

[BiBunny]

I just threw down an ultimatum I should've thrown down a long time ago. I feel better than I have in months.

 

[chy_girl]

I just threw down an ultimatum I should've thrown down a long time ago. I feel better than I have in months.

 

[rida]

If you feel that you are equally, or relatively equally, to blame, you can simply tell him/her: "I'm sorry for my part in this. I should have been able to handle it better than I did, and I hope you'll forgive me." If they're truly an adult, they'll return the apology while accepting yours gracefully. If they're semi-adult, they'll accept your apology *without* acknowledging their fault. If neither... well, perhaps they're not the type of person you much want in your life. Either way, you'll have done what you could to make the situation better.

Good luck!

Well, you can tell yourself you're the better person. It won't feel better in the short term but it will in the long term.

This happened to me recently. In my case, I felt the fault was 90% hers and 10% mine but I am still the only one who (very genuinely) apologized. In this case, I knew the friend well enough to realize that any attempt to explain my side of things would have just made her defensive and damaged our friendship. We see each other so rarely, I figured it wasn't worth starting a war over something that, in the big picture, was quite trivial. In the moment, I hated the unjustness of the situation. Now, three weeks later, I could really care less.

That said, if this is someone you deal with regularly and not hearing them admit to their role in the problem is going to breed resentment then, yeah, you should probably mention something.

Thanks guys.

I did start the chain of events that led to the problem at hand. Emotions are running a bit too high at the moment for a dialogue, I fear.
And considering the possible r/l repercussions ... I should have know better.

In the end I apologized. The only dignified thing left to do.

It was a fuck up on my part, no matter how much I want to tell myself that it was partly justified by his misleading cues.

 

[the captians wench]

I need something new, something different

 

[00Syd]

Syd, darlin' girl, I really think you can do this, because you've done so much already. Acing the course is probably not in the cards, but doing sufficiently well to get through it probably is... one step at a time.

mmmm. Not really. Last math exam I studied my ass off, felt incredibly prepared, walked out of the exam feeling like I had answered all but one of the questions correctly, and I got a c-.

So, haven't had any chance to study for this one. No, well, I could have studied last night, but couldn't focus or anything. So I'm sort of out of time for studying for this exam at all. Luckily we're allowed to put as much of whatever we want onto a note card and bring that with us. So the current plan is to just put as much stuff from my notes as I can fit and hope for the best.

I'm not expecting to get even close to a C, considering how well prepared I felt last exam and how close I got to failing, and how absolutely unprepared I am now.

hugs

But yeah, thanks.

I almost dropped out, had all the paper work and stuff.

But life is funny, while taking random classes I found the bio approach in psych. It’s something I’m really interested in, and it’s challenging too. It taught me how to study, so now I can get an A in any class. After my first quarter I had a GPA of 1.8 and was on academic probation. Now I pull in quarterly GPAs of 3.8 at a full load of 18 units over 10 weeks.

I think half of college is learning how it works, ¼ exploration, ¼ hard work aka thick headed forward pressure.

I'm not going to drop out. I've thrown out too much money at this point to not get the fucking degree. But this is my senior year, and so if I haven't figured out how to study yet, I'm not sure it's going to happen.

I know exactly how you feel Syd, I'm right there at the moment. With my anxiety and stuff, it's been hard to study, and then when I feel ok, I realise how far behind I am, and how much I have to do and it sends me into another spiral. I'm trying to battle through though, because I'm too scared to give up and have nothing to show for the years of study.

And this, after recent appointments with my psych, I've realised is the bulk of my problem. I never learned how to consistently apply for effort to study. Being a rather intelligent person, life was always 'effort reward effort reward effort reward' through school, and often 'no effort rewasrd anyway'. I haven't learned 'effort effort effort reward' and haven't learned how to study.

I struggle tremendously with studying off campus.

Yeah, ditto. I'm scared of not having anything to show for the years of study, too. But I don't see much more than superficial value in a degree since pretty much anyone can get one these days, so it's the non-degree parts of college that feel like the valuable parts, and those are the parts that I'm not going to have. I'll have a degree, but will I have any actually new knowledge, or good friends/contacts, or any completed work to show for it? No, not really.

The only things that hits that magical intersection between "overpriced" and "largely useless" than a college degree in this market is getting this close to your degree and dropping out.

You can do this. Hell, raw inertia should be of some assistance. You've been doing it this long, you can probably fake half of what you need to do anyway.

Mmm, that would be true if I didn't have to take math. I've never really passed a math class in my life, and I have to pass math in order to graduate. And if I don't pass it this semester, then I'm going to have to put off graduating in the spring and stay extra semesters, until I pass.

Failure is not imminent: your next breath is imminent, though not guaranteed.

Syd, it's not like you to fold like this. Did someone steal all your Leslie Gore albums or something?

And as others have said, you don't have to do as well in math as you do in other courses. You just have to survive.

Live to sneer at underclassmen another day.

You're right, I don't have to do as well as my other courses, but I have to pass. Not looking likely at this point.

Note to Syd:

You can do it!


I know all too well how frustrating math can be. My brain is not wired for math, at all. I needed Algebra 11 in order to get accepted into University. I had a freaking full scholarship but I couldn't use it until I had that stupid course under my belt. I took the course three times in highschool, studied my brains out...and failed every time. Finally, I took a night school course and managed a passing grade. (I think I passed with 54% or something). That's all I needed and I'm glad I stuck it out.

You can do it. You may need a few tries but you will get there. DON'T QUIT!!

This is kind of my only and last try.

There are acceptable reasons for dropping out of school, (says the university drop out), but yours don't fit that category. So do what you need to do to deal with the frustration, then get back in the game. As you can see, you have many cheerleaders here for pep talks when you need them.

Thanks guys.

I'm trying to get it together, but it's just not getting together. Going to try and put as much on this note card as possible. 6pt font. Not expecting anything higher than a D. And since there are only 3 grades in this whole class, I'm going to need to get an A on the next exam to pass. Ugh.

Anyway, don't want to spend a ton of time moping, because it's not helping (in fact, check out all of this procrastination!), and it's a bummer in general. So...

[/moping]

 

[Stella_Omega]

my young boarder/tenant couple?

The She comes to me today, to tell me that the He has been trying on her dresses, and asking to be slapped. She's pretty uncomfortable with this. She knows I am okay about wierdnesses. Would I please talk to him?

The He tells me he thinks he might be gay because he wants to wear a dress and be slapped. I told him he wants his mommy, and that we would find him one because I'm not touching this one with a 10ft pole, myself!

Give the She some lessons in domming? hell, it's a useful skill, right?

 

[MisterSir]

Anyway, don't want to spend a ton of time moping, because it's not helping (in fact, check out all of this procrastination!), and it's a bummer in general. So...

[/moping]

And good luck for it anyway. Peeps are rooting for you.

 

[chy_girl]

I picked up a rat yesterday for my big girl's birthday present. Now I kind of don't want to give him to her cause he's freaking adorable - and I am not a rodent person in any way.

 

[Cattypuss]

"Dominate" is not an adjective!

What the fuck is wrong with people?

"I'm dominate".

Yeah.

Much more of this and I'm gonna start saying "I'm submit".

 

[chy_girl]

"Dominate" is not an adjective!

What the fuck is wrong with people?

"I'm dominate".

Yeah.

Much more of this and I'm gonna start saying "I'm submit".

Oh, please don't.

 

[00Syd]

And good luck for it anyway. Peeps are rooting for you.

Thanks, MS

But there is no way that I am going to get anything higher than an F on that exam. I sort of maybe knew how to do ome of the questions, but I don't ever feel confident about that one. And the rest of my answes were a total shit show. I didn't know anything. I could barely understand what the questions were even asking.

I'm not going to be able to graduate in the spring if I wasn't in school, I would probably be crying.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Thanks, MS

But there is no way that I am going to get anything higher than an F on that exam. I sort of maybe knew how to do ome of the questions, but I don't ever feel confident about that one. And the rest of my answes were a total shit show. I didn't know anything. I could barely understand what the questions were even asking.

I'm not going to be able to graduate in the spring if I wasn't in school, I would probably be crying.

I sorta believe there is some kind of underlying reason for most of the important things that happen in our lives. Therefore, perhaps the reason you'll be continuing in school a bit longer than you had projected is to give you the opportunity to run into something good that you otherwise wouldn't have had the chance to find. That's my story/theory, and I'm stickin' to it!

I know that doesn't necessarily make you feel better right this moment, but the future is yet to come, and I believe yours is going to be very bright.

 

[midwestyankee]

I really don't want to become Darth Vader.

 

[graceanne]

Oh, please don't.

Like.


My blurt.

*gag*

 

[Etoile]

It's happening, it's really happening, and I'm so happy.

 

[FloggingMolly]

It's happening, it's really happening, and I'm so happy.

Yay! Not sure what _it_ is, but yay

 

[Etoile]

Yay! Not sure what _it_ is, but yay

It's not a baby, I can say that much. More info might come up in time but right now, I'm just happy being happy.

 

[graceanne]

It's not a baby, I can say that much. More info might come up in time but right now, I'm just happy being happy.

And we're happy you're happy! *hugs*

 

[YourCaptor]

And this, after recent appointments with my psych, I've realised is the bulk of my problem. I never learned how to consistently apply for effort to study. Being a rather intelligent person, life was always 'effort reward effort reward effort reward' through school, and often 'no effort rewasrd anyway'. I haven't learned 'effort effort effort reward' and haven't learned how to study.

I struggle tremendously with studying off campus.

Got any tips/links/suggestions/ideas for learning how to study YC?

I would say the key to studying is to go through the information in as many ways as you can.

I take notes in class on everything, even if that means copying word for word. Simply transferring spoken or a presentation info into writing is on way to go through it, if forces you to listen/read/ think about the info multiple times in order to write it. Then I read the books, all of it, and highlight all the important stuff, simply highlighting helps me tremendously because I’m so slow at it. For me it goes, read, that’s interesting/important, back read it to find a nice start location, then read further to find a stop location, mark it, then read it slowly as I highlight it to the stop location. That right their runs the info through my active attention like 5 times and really helps. Not to mention most professors use some of the book word for word, hearing it and reading it in separate physical locations cements it even more. Then after a few days I re read all the highlighted stuff quickly in some random location. Then I make study guides of all possible info. Mostly I make tables, with a single topic per table, one column of key words in the topic and another column with explanations for them. I do that for every concept, it really helps you organize your thoughts, and you can study the info like 3 times in the time it takes you to study once from the book.

Other times when that format doesn’t fit right I write out every plausible question that could be on the exam, and the answer on the next line down, like a flash card except space efficient. I carry those study guides with me all over the place and go over them randomly, like in line for groceries, or at stop lights, or when bored. And I talk about it to people, saying this stuff out loud, for me at least requires a lot of serious thought. It’s that, idea to speech, thought conversion that can be hard to get.

If you can comfortably yak on about a subject you probably know your shit pretty damn well.

Once you know something theoretically you never forget it either, you just learn not to use it. However when looking at the info a second time around, it all comes back like a flash flood. Hence I found towards the end of my major, all the advance labs and such actually required way less studying.

So the ultimate trick I think is to go over the info in lots of formats, reading, writing, speaking, listening, sing it if you want, and go over it in lots of different locations, and at different times through out the day. Your worst enemy is a set routine, keep your brain guessing and keep it alert.

I hope that is useful to you.

 

[Etoile]

I am thoroughly squicked that I got a VERY quick thrill - but a thrill nonetheless - from the sentence "He strangled them, mostly with his arm, but he would also use ligatures." It's taken from the Wikipedia article on the Green River Killer.

His Kink Is NOT Okay.

 

[chy_girl]

I'd really like to try a different model of daily life. Something in a simplified, semi-single model involving a regular job with regular hours.

 

[the captians wench]

I'd really like to try a different model of daily life. Something in a simplified, semi-single model involving a regular job with regular hours.

I've been saying that for years.

Something nice, weekends off, anything from 5am-5pm is fine as long as I'm working the same fucking hours every day and only 8 of them at a time.

Oh and a lunch break would be nice as well.

 

[chy_girl]

I've been saying that for years.

Something nice, weekends off, anything from 5am-5pm is fine as long as I'm working the same fucking hours every day and only 8 of them at a time.

Oh and a lunch break would be nice as well.

Yes. Well, I'd happily to 4 10's instead of 5 8's. But something where the clientele doesn't know where I live or have my phone number. Maybe with some decent insurance. And a nice, neat to-do list and a quiet corner to do it in. Preferably with a company who doesn't have a morality clause.

ETA:
3 12's that ran from 5:30am - 5:30pm would be even better because then I could get the work week over with even quicker.

 

[the captians wench]

Yes. Well, I'd happily to 4 10's instead of 5 8's. But something where the clientele doesn't know where I live or have my phone number. Maybe with some decent insurance. And a nice, neat to-do list and a quiet corner to do it in. Preferably with a company who doesn't have a morality clause.

ETA:
3 12's that ran from 5:30am - 5:30pm would be even better because then I could get the work week over with even quicker.

Even with 4 days off I can't keep up with 12 hour shifts long, 10 hour aren't too bad if I get 3 days off. Right now I'm scheduled 9 hour shifts, 5 days a week, and no breaks. Most of the time I end up working 10, and it's not un heard of for me to do a 12 2-3 times a month.

Oh and my off days aren't nessisarily in a row.